Joyful Christian Homemaking- All things Candy

[Cran]

Candy had friends? Wow. Sometimes, she really surprises me!

I guess losing some friends was not due to her salvation, but "calling everybody she could think of" and nagging them, not because she herself became a Christian. She's not living in Saudi-Arabia where becoming a Christian would be something alienating. But war on Christianity in the USA!!!11!!!!!

And how did she homeschool herself through high school if he couldn't even read? Or why did she have trouble reading the bible when she taught reading herself at a very early age, when it just "clicked"? The whole paragraph is inconsistent.

One of those three claims must be false, I'm going with the "couldn't even read" because the homeschool claim is consistent through all her life stories, she only wanted to stuff in another miracle just for Candy this way.

Does anyone really believe she didn't hear of Ephesians before, when she supposedly was saved and went to church even so often, getting ready to be baptised? I know many people try to start reading the bible from the beginning and fail quite frequently, because many things in the five books of Moses are plain nutty, boring or incomprehensible to modern people, but no Christian I know ever read the OT exclusively.

And that miracle... yeah... sure.

[fundiefan]

There are enough inconsistencies in this version to confirm that she a lying liar who lies. Or, at least has selective memory along with her selective mutism.

If she had any friends she lost them because she is a sanctimonious bitch with no education and drove them away with her incessent rambling. It has nothing to do with being Christian and everything to do with being Candy. Then again, we're talking about the girl who spent her whole life being hated and tormented for no reason by every child she encountered, every teacher, every counselor, pretty much every human being on the planet. She was hated for no reason growing up and left friends because god made her skin glow as an adult.

[Georgiana]

Didn't she already get her diploma by this time in the story? I remember a few posts ago she said that yes, she has one, and she even went to "Home College". How did she get any sort of diploma without being able to read?

[fundiefan]

Didn't she already get her diploma by this time in the story? I remember a few posts ago she said that yes, she has one, and she even went to "Home College". How did she get any sort of diploma without being able to read?

I think the confusion here is coming from the way Candy tells stories. They are not linear and she jumps from one end to the next and then back again in a single sentence.

I think she was talking about her bible comprehension, and by way of explaining/using an example/showing how special she is, she just went right into talking about how when she was learning to read, it was hard until it just clicked. She just never separated those thoughts so it's written Candy style, which is undeducated and illogical. And of course there is the attempt to show how super smart and chosen she is because she never, ever had problems reading anything again. She couldn't read mushroom but the second she did, she could read and comprehend everything.

She made no turn signal for that thought direction, but I'm pretty sure that's what she was doing.

Others would say something like "when I was learning how to study the bible, I was reminded how hard it was to learn to read when I was a kid. One day when I was 10 it just clicked and all those reading struggles came to an end. Keeping that in mind, I plowed through and kept reading the bible until it clicked". Or, you know, something like that. Something that actually makes sense for the reader.

[Jessica]

Part 6

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Being a newly saved Christian, I was on fire, and very excited. I'm still on fire for Christ, it's just more calm, now. Shortly after getting saved, I called everyone I could think of, and told them about my salvation. I lost just about every non-Christian friend I had, that day. I changed a lot, very rapidly, and they didn't like the "new me." I stopped cussing, drinking, and listening to the music I had before, and more. My parents thought I joined some cult and had been brainwashed. My boyfriend thought my conversion was great, and "good for me." I'm so glad he eventually got saved, too.

I continued going to church, and asked the pastor about getting baptized. There was a baptismal service scheduled for several months later, so I decided to wait and get baptized then. By that time, my boyfriend got saved too, so we both got baptized on the same day. When it was my turn to step up to the baptistery, the pastor stopped, and prophesied over me. That prophecy is not something I feel comfortable sharing with most people, but it did come true, and it is a good one. I won't share it here, as it would feel like I would be tooting my own horn.

Why God has called me to certain things, I don't know. I know I have certain gifts from the Holy Spirit, but I'm not worthy of any of those gifts, and I'm not worthy of having Christ in my life at all.

I was a sinner who fully deserved hell. Christ died for me anyways. I didn't deserve it, but when He died on the cross, He did so, to pay for all my sins. His spilt blood washed me white as snow. Just as He rose from the dead three days later, I too will raise from the dead in a glorified body, should rapture tarry during my lifetime. Christ saved me, He cured me of my depression and replaced it with bottomless joy, He even gave and gives me gifts. God is always there for me. Always and forever. He loves me, and I don't deserve it, and that's what makes it so amazing and special.

Shortly after my salvation, I was trying to read through the Bible, but I had trouble with reading. You see, I didn't understand the teachers at school when they tried to teach me how to read. They gave me bits and pieces of information, but I didn't see how the info fit together, and how it could turn into deciphering words. One day, when I was still at the learning-to-read age, I sat down and just figured out how to read. I remember when it all clicked. I had read either the word "mushroom," or "marshmallow." I can't remember which, but I sounded out the word, got it, and understood how it worked. I ran happily to my parents to show them. That was my click. That was it. I had reading down after that, and was very good at it. That was a very happy day for me.

Since then, I have always loved to read, but I had a struggle, in that sometimes I could read several pages, and have no idea what any of them said. Sometimes I could understand just fine, but often I couldn't. I didn't want this problem in reading the Bible. The Bible is the Word of God, and I HAD to overcome that problem, because I needed to know and study the contents of that most important book.

I would read a chapter, and then make sure I remembered what was in the chapter. If I didn't, then I read the chapter again. If I still didn't have it, I would read the same chapter again. I would not move on to the next chapter until I absorbed what I had just read. Sometimes I'd have to read the same chapter over several times, but over time it got easier. Now, it's not a problem. I can read and retain. Thank God! I love reading, and now I can retain what I read.

One day during my first time reading the Bible through, I was wishing I could get through the Bible faster, because I wanted to know how to live the Christian life more. I was walking around, and I asked God what I could do to be a good Christian. I needed something I could hold on to right then, without having to wait until I finished reading the whole Bible. I heard a voice tell me "Ephesians 6:14." I looked around to verify I was the only person there, and I was. At that point, I was still in the Old Testament of the Bible, so I wasn't sure what an "Ephesian" was. The format of "Ephesians 6:14" sounded like a Bible verse, so I checked my Bible, and sure enough - there is an Ephesians 6:14. I turned to it, and this is what it said:

Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness

That Scripture became my meditation. Stand for Christ. Walk in truth and righteousness. Truth and Righteousness became my two key thoughts in the Christian walk, and they still are. I had my answer.

We had a friend who was handicapped. Years ago, she got into a bad accident on her horse, and damaged her back severely. There was no surgery or anything that could be done for her. She was doomed to a wheel chair (and sometimes a walker on good days) and heavy pain killers. The pain killers didn't handle all of the pain, and sometimes it would be too much for her, and she'd just have to scream.

She was a Christian, and was listening to a tape of music by Twila Paris that was loaned to her from another Christian friend. She said that the song "God is in Control" kept playing, like it was the only song on the tape. She would fast forward, rewind, and flip the tape over, but it only played "God is in Control."

She realized God IS in control, and she gave control to God. God told her "yes, I am in control," and then she felt the urge to stand up. She then walked outside, and started RUNNING. She was healed. My boyfriend and I arrived there in time to see her running all over the large yard. It was amazing. She never needed her wheel chair or walker again. Over the weeks afterward, we saw color return to her features, and she put on some needed weight. She was out walking almost every day, and was very energetic and happy.

By the way, she later played the Twila Paris tape again, but this time it played all the songs, not just "God is in Control."

God is a God of miracles, and He is still in the business of miracles. Miracles still happen, as I've been a witness to many, and a part of some. Jesus didn't do miracles in a certain place, "because of their unbelief," as we read about in the end of Matthew 13.

It's not enough to say you're a Christian, you must walk with God. Oh, I falter from the path so often. It stings. I detest it. I get back up, and confess it all to my Heavenly Father, and He forgives me, and I am back on the path.

Dear reader, do you walk with God? Have you faltered? Do you need to ask God for forgiveness? Perhaps you need some miracles in your life. Perhaps you need joy. God is there.

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Part 7

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My boyfriend and I had been dating for a few years, and things were going well. We had our occasional tiffs, but since both of us got saved, our relationship was getting better and better. One day, we had a fight, and before we could clear it up, we both had to go to work. Later that day, he called me, and said that he wanted to take me somewhere, and have a talk. I was afraid he was going to break up with me.

That evening, he drove me to our favorite Dairy Queen. He had me sit at a table, and told me to close my eyes, and not open them until he said. I then heard something being put on the table, and when he had me open my eyes, I looked to see a big ice cream cake, and on it, it said "Will you marry me?" WoW! I was so relieved that not only was I not going to lose him, but that he wanted to commit to be with me till death do us part.

While I was looking at the cake, and acting all giddy, I didn't say anything. Then I heard a voice of someone I didn't know, say "Wellllll?" I looked over, and it was a boy scout leader, with a long line of boy scouts standing next to him. They went to Dairy Queen for some ice cream, and got to see someone getting proposed to. I looked at my boyfriend, and shouted "YES!" The boy scout leader and the boy scouts clapped.

Boyfriend and I ate half the ice cream cake; it was really good. That night, as he was driving me home, he was looking at me, more than the road, so I guess he was weaving, because a cop pulled us over, thinking Boyfriend was drunk.

He explained to the cop that we just got engaged, and then we showed the cop the half-eaten cake. The cop remarked that we ate a lot, said congratulations, and to look at the road while driving, not at me.

My boyfriend (now husband) was and is my hero in so many ways. You see, no one ever stood up for me. My mom did sometimes, but that's mom. I would stand up for my friends, even in the face of bullies double my size. (Jessica's Note: Gee, I thought she had no friends! But suddenly when she needs to make herself look noble, she was always standing up for them. Okay!) I always wished someone would stand up for me. During my time dating my boyfriend, someone accused me of something HORRIBLE that I didn't do, nor ever would do. This person had a few false witnesses backing him up. The real hidden agenda was to get Boyfriend and I to break up - I was not liked by some. Anyhow, even in the face of false witnesses, Boyfriend believed me, and stood by me.

Do you know how refreshing that was? That happened before we got engaged, but that was the day I knew I was going to marry him. He's my hero. He not only stands up for me, and still does, but he explains people to me. You see, I had no idea that people sometimes say one thing, but they mean another, or that some people play manipulation games. When boyfriend told me of those things, my jaw dropped. He had to explain it all in great detail, because I was completely clueless on that stuff. I also didn't know that there are people out there who "read between the lines," either when a person speaks, or even in reading what someone wrote. I don't do that, and think it's strange that some people do. Hubby clued me in on all of this. What a strange world I didn't know existed.

I used to embarrass old boyfriends and friends. I'm blunt, and I guess sometimes I would say things that weren't always appropriate, or that hurt people's feelings. My boyfriend (now husband) chose not to be embarrassed of me. He later told me that he found and finds my up front honesty exhillerating. However, if something happened, he would take me to the side later, and explain it to me. At first, that was hard. I would cry in shame. I hated hurting people. I never want to hurt anyone. People are sometimes such an enigma to me. Hubby has helped me understand so much.

Anyways, back to the engagement - one of the happiest days of my life. I didn't want a big, expensive wedding. Unlike what I hear about most girls, I never pictured my wedding day, and I didn't really care about that. The important thing was getting married, not the ceremony itself.

However, I did end up with a most amazing wedding. Several months before we married, we moved back to the state of my childhood. I purchased my wedding dress at around Halloween time, from a thrift store for 10 dollars. It's handmade from the '50s. I still have it. My little girl wants to wear it when she marries.

The flowers and decor were made by friends and family, or purchased from thrift stores and Wal-Mart. Hubby and I legally officiated our own wedding. There was no Justice of the Peace or Pastor there. The wedding was in a conference room of a small business building in the Rocky Mountains, near where I grew up. The reception was in a little eatery they had downstairs.

Having no close female friends, my Maid of Honor was a man, so I jokingly called him my Butler of Honor. That man was my best friend, until my Hubby became my best friend ever and forever.

Hubby and I wrote our own vows, and also gave the Gospel message during the ceremony. I guess people liked the wedding, as they were crying, and several said it was the most amazing wedding they'd ever attended. That day was another one of the happiest days of my life, and more very happy days were to follow (are still are).

[ViolaSebastian]

Horray! We have a Dairy Queen engagement to add to our Arby's engagement! These fundies sure know how to class up a proposal.

[Georgiana]

My summary:

--Candy has SO MANY gifts from the Holy Spirit, y'all. Did you not catch that last time. But she can't tell you about them. That'd be immodest.

--Candy has been a part of miracles because she is SUCH a true believer.

--Move over Kristina and the Arby's Proposal, Candy got proposed to in a Dairy Queen with a cake (and did I miss it, or no mention of a ring).

--Candy didn't understand basic human communication, but once hubby "clued her in" she TOTALLY got it (that's...uh...not how that works)

--I don't think there is anything "legal" about officiating your own wedding.

--CANDY HAD THE BEST WEDDING ANYONE HAD EVER BEEN TO. EVER.

--Her dress leaves something to be desired in the fit, but is otherwise a very cute dress.

[spud]

Wow, she's really ladling on the Aspergers these days, isn't she?

[spud]

Now when I read Candy's story, I do it in the voice of an 8 year old boy.

"We ate cake. It was good. The cop said you ate a lot of cake. We went home."

[church_of_dog]

You guys, getting born again will make you extra pretty, and you'll never be depressed AGAIN:

At around 10pm, on November 18, 1995, the Gospel message was presented to me by my friends, using John chapter three, in my King James Bible. I realized Jesus is real, and I let Him into my heart and life, and got saved. At that moment, I died, and was born again a new creature in Christ. I have never been the same, since. Also from that time, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I've been able to read and understand the Bible. I've read it over and over ever since, and still do. Bible study is my passion.

Years later, my husband told me that when he saw me the next day, I not only acted different, but looked different. He said I had more color to my skin, and I looked happier. I was never depressed again, and I had JOY, real joy. Some people change slowly after conversion, and others, like myself, have an immediate, dramatic change, followed by smoother, slower changes over the years.

Yikes! Don't tell Kidist! :lol:

[spud]

Sorry for the multi-posts, I just thought of something else....

My summary:

--I don't think there is anything "legal" about officiating your own wedding.

--CANDY HAD THE BEST WEDDING ANYONE HAD EVER BEEN TO. EVER.

They officiated their own wedding because they were paranoid about guvmint interference. They'd decided that if a JP or other government official 'granted' your marriage then they could ungrant it at their whimsy. Candy and Erik would not be subject to that level of control so they did their own thing. They registered it after they'd been married for several years and were confident it couldn't be undone by evil communist government officials.

Their self-written wedding vows were basically just an attack on how government has no right to interfere with their wedding (because communism and also jesus). I'm surprised Candy didn't post the vows again, I think she's done it 3 or 4 times in the past. Part of the vows was declaring that they could never, ever divorce (because they'd promised jesus) and the marriage could only end when one of them dies. Sounded like a ton of fun. I'll try to dig them out for you guys.

[fundiefan]

She forgot to thell the part about how they lived together before marriage because god told them to. And, had sex, and that it was ok because she knew she was going to marry him and god is good with sex before marriage if it's with your future spouse.

Oh, the vows. I hope someone can find them. They were gold. Pure gold.

[Mac1138]

Ooh, I have never seen the vows, I bet they are... special. ;) Part 8 is posted today and I read the whole thing with one eyebrow raised. If her super special 'managerial' jobs were real, she was getting paid to sit around and harass her coworkers to accept Jesus! As to the gay Wiccan man... not just Wiccan, HIGH PRIEST WICCAN, she says she convinced him that he did indeed choose to be gay. Um, I think he just realized there was no intellectual conversation happening and just wanted her to shut up. It really pisses me off when people say shit like 'love the sinner, hate the sin'. What a bunch of bullshit. I can't even argue about it coherently because I get so pissed!

I don't think I remember reading about her miscarriage... it seems like a very common story for fundies, huh? Anyways... I have no clue... but would a hospital send a woman home to continue miscarrying? I would think not. I do feel bad for her losing a baby.

[Cran]

I can't remember reading about this miscarriage before, but I might have missed something. If she's invented this particular story, it would be a sad and cruel way to troll for sympathy!

Is it legal to hand out religious books at work in the US and harass other employers in the manner she describes?

Well, he noticed one day that I brought a case of little New Testament Bibles to work, and was handing them out on my break.

Btw, every time she writes WoW, I think of World of Warcraft. Did she get this creative spelling from her husband? Or on the same site where she picked up her stereotypes about Wiccans? A GAY HIGH PRIEST who takes part in rituals that involve sex with women. Yeah, sure. That's totally what Wiccans who are in to Goddess worship do. And totally an activity a gay man would like to participate in.

I can't even...?

The woman in the cubicle next to mine was very interesting. She was a liberal, who was very outspoken against SUVs. One day, I saw her car - it was an SUV. She and I had a good laugh about that.

:think:

And while she claims all her jobs were high-powered and with "managerial position", I think what she writes about her work (working graveyard shifts, being alone on the floor etc.) points to another kind of job, and such jobs she might have held with IBM.

I'm a bit disappointed we didn't get to read about the heart-warming time when her husband broke her water with a paper clip and got all those fake miracles instead. Pseudologia fantastica at its finest.

[fundiefan]

The Packard Bell employment is new although the 'management' positions at the age os 18-20 are not. In the past it was always just IBM. The saving everyone she looked at and worked with is new. (Although it has always been heavily implied and not limited to her high powered career co-workers). Her perfect light just automatically brings people to Jebus; that's why she's god's chosen one. The miscarriage has been changed a bit as in the past she said the fetus was a perfectly formed baby boy and they held him and prayed over him. She ignored the part of her first birth where god told her, directly and personally, that everything was fine and to go ahead with an unassisted home birth. She also skipped where her husband broke her water with a paperclip. I see she did not skip the link to her educated, well documented (ahem) post about how Christian women don't need epidurals because if you're truly saved it won't hurt because you're so special god took all the pain out of childbirth.

I am not even going to touch the claim that she got some Wiccan gay dude to confess he wasn't really gay. The bitch needs to be bitch slapped several times over from all directions for dragging that shit into it.

Whenever a fundie - and Candy in particular - wants to prove how great their god is, they talk of curing gay people, mean people chaning their attitude, working women staying home, whores become wholesome, Dark Magic stopping as god fixed them - and we can all name many other Christian salvation (for themselves and the subjects in their stories) cliche's. Candy's stories are straight from the fundie text book on how to lie and exaggerate and pull out the worst of the worst (in your own opinion) situation and have god fix it.

She broke my brain when I read this. Not only because of the retelling and alterations from previous versions, but from the blatant text book god magic.

[Georgiana]

The Packard Bell employment is new although the 'management' positions at the age os 18-20 are not. In the past it was always just IBM. The saving everyone she looked at and worked with is new. (Although it has always been heavily implied and not limited to her high powered career co-workers). Her perfect light just automatically brings people to Jebus; that's why she's god's chosen one. The miscarriage has been changed a bit as in the past she said the fetus was a perfectly formed baby boy and they held him and prayed over him. She ignored the part of her first birth where god told her, directly and personally, that everything was fine and to go ahead with an unassisted home birth. She also skipped where her husband broke her water with a paperclip. I see she did not skip the link to her educated, well documented (ahem) post about how Christian women don't need epidurals because if you're truly saved it won't hurt because you're so special god took all the pain out of childbirth.

I am not even going to touch the claim that she got some Wiccan gay dude to confess he wasn't really gay. The bitch needs to be bitch slapped several times over from all directions for dragging that shit into it.

Whenever a fundie - and Candy in particular - wants to prove how great their god is, they talk of curing gay people, mean people chaning their attitude, working women staying home, whores become wholesome, Dark Magic stopping as god fixed them - and we can all name many other Christian salvation (for themselves and the subjects in their stories) cliche's. Candy's stories are straight from the fundie text book on how to lie and exaggerate and pull out the worst of the worst (in your own opinion) situation and have god fix it.

She broke my brain when I read this. Not only because of the retelling and alterations from previous versions, but from the blatant text book god magic.

She probably forgot where she "worked". It's got to be hard to keep all of her fabrications straight.

[spud]

I find it amusing that WonderHubby sat in the car and waited while everyone else in their convoy went to help the biker.

Also, isn't it a little sad that this event was so important to her that she included it in her life story? I think for most people it would just be something you told your friends about for a few weeks after it happened and then you'd pretty much forget about. For Candy, well she included it in her life story a good 20 years later.

[polecat]

Ooh, I have never seen the vows, I bet they are... special. ;) Part 8 is posted today and I read the whole thing with one eyebrow raised. If her super special 'managerial' jobs were real, she was getting paid to sit around and harass her coworkers to accept Jesus! As to the gay Wiccan man... not just Wiccan, HIGH PRIEST WICCAN, she says she convinced him that he did indeed choose to be gay. Um, I think he just realized there was no intellectual conversation happening and just wanted her to shut up. It really pisses me off when people say shit like 'love the sinner, hate the sin'. What a bunch of bullshit. I can't even argue about it coherently because I get so pissed!

The comment about seeing the Jewish man's "internal struggle" got a giggle out of me ... I'm betting there was indeed an internal struggle in which he was trying not to physically oust her from his cubicle/office/space.

I don't think I remember reading about her miscarriage... it seems like a very common story for fundies, huh? Anyways... I have no clue... but would a hospital send a woman home to continue miscarrying? I would think not. I do feel bad for her losing a baby.

Sometimes they take a wait-and-see approach.

Is her story true? idk. I'd hate to think any woman would use a miscarriage for attention/pity/whatever.

[Georgiana]

The comment about seeing the Jewish man's "internal struggle" got a giggle out of me ... I'm betting there was indeed an internal struggle in which he was trying not to physically oust her from his cubicle/office/space.

Sometimes they take a wait-and-see approach.

Is her story true? idk. I'd hate to think any woman would use a miscarriage for attention/pity/whatever.

Candy will use anything for attention. She doesn't really go for pity. IMO, she tends to spin her stories into "Look how bad things were....BUT LOOK HOW I OVERCAME THEM BECAUSE I AM AMAZING." She uses tragedy and moving on from it as a way to be superior to everyone else and gain admiration.

[Mustang Sally]

I don't know if she included it in previous "my story" posts, but I do remember her old site mentioning Packard Bell and the story of her miscarriage. She may have left them out of subsequent stories, but she's mentioned them before.

[Mac1138]

You guys, Candy seems to be an expert on Asperger's. Oh, it's not a syndrome. Us norms, we're the syndrome.... uh, at least I think that's what she's getting at? Also, she doesn't need an official, professional diagnosis... she knows who she is and that's enough for her. I guess I get that, I mean, IF she has Asperger's Syndrome, she is very high functioning. I doubt any intervention is needed at this point. I was hoping for a much more interesting life story from Candy... actually, I wouldn't call it a life story, more like, 'things I remember that happened in my life, and JESUS!'.

My guess is that soon we will have another guest post from WonderHubby to tell us all how taxes are equal to slavery. It's about that time of year. :roll:

[prairiemuffin]

Today, Candy is "studying the seed".

Gross.

She's also back to the discussions about the flying roll.

[polecat]

Today, Candy is "studying the seed".

Gross.

She's also back to the discussions about the flying roll.

She's been watching too many scary movies.

[Mac1138]

An excerpt:

"There are two types of seed - the seed of God, and the seed of Satan. There is one physical seed of God, via the Holy Spirit and the virgin birth, and that is Jesus Christ, who is also God. I too am seed of God, but I am not physical seed, I am adopted into the family. All born again Christians are:"

:ew: :ew: :ew:

I still don't know how to determine which parts of the bible are literal and which parts are allegorical... At least now I know that Satan's seed is, in fact, literal. Phew! ;)

[Georgiana]

Everyone is the spiritual seed of Satan except for True Christians !

There were GIANTS!

There are half human/half demon hybrid called Nephilim!

ALIENS.

This:

It could be genetic material extracted from her, and then the Nephilim embryo implanted into her womb. Who knows?

WHO KNOWS?!?!?!

Not Candy.

Someone's been watching too much Ancient Aliens on the TEEVEE. That's Satan's Box, Candy!