Joyful Christian Homemaking- All things Candy

[Mac1138]

It has probably come up before when discussing Candy, but did anybody else read her 'article' on why Christian women don't need epidurals? Look, if you have genuine FAITH, then you just won't have pain. MmmmHmmmm. :wtf:

[fundiefan]

One day I am going to buy a case of beer and sit down and write out all the Candy crazy I know.

You are all missing out on far too much and I feel for you. It needs to be shared because I hate the thought of people missing out on the very special crazy that is Candy.

[Marianne]

One day I am going to buy a case of beer and sit down and write out all the Candy crazy I know.

You are all missing out on far too much and I feel for you. It needs to be shared because I hate the thought of people missing out on the very special crazy that is Candy.

In my city, they give alchoohol (pastis or beer or wine) to the mètre (meter ?). 1 m of beer = 12 glass of 25 cl. How many to you need ? 25 m ? 50 m ? 1 km ?

[Georgiana]

One day I am going to buy a case of beer and sit down and write out all the Candy crazy I know.

You are all missing out on far too much and I feel for you. It needs to be shared because I hate the thought of people missing out on the very special crazy that is Candy.

Oh please do! She was my gateway fundie, and while I have many other fundies that I now read, none even come close to Candy's absolute insanity!

[Georgiana]

I would like to share another Candy meltdown:

The set up: Candy moved! Into her dreamhome! She loves it and everything about it is perfect. She gives a house tour where she walks us through every room. The house contains some interesting features and layout, including mirrors attached to the ceiling around the master bedroom ceiling fan, but Candy loves it. LOVES it. It's her dream house, and everything is perfect.

Some commentors think it's a manufactured/mobile home. IT IS NOT, YOU GUYS. Candy is very adamant about this.

The Trigger: Lambchop comments on Candy's house tour and compliments it. Unfortunately, Lambchop is new to Candy and makes a rookie mistake: she dares to disagree.

In a very friendly, normal, and polite comment, Lambchop asserts that her and Candy must live in the same type of (mobile) home. She gives the make, and talks about how her house is basically the same and has all the same unique features that Candy's does. She ALSO has those mirrors on the ceiling, except Lambchop hates them (she's happy Candy likes them though). She will later post pictures on her blog that prove her comment to be legit: Lambchop and Candy live in the same manufactured home.

The Meltdown: Commentors look up the make that Lambchop mentions and confirm that it's pretty obvious Candy lives in a mobile home. No one is mean about it. Many people come forward talking about how they love their manufactured homes. It's pretty pleasant.

Candy goes ape, puts up several posts about how it is not manufactured or something and uses some weird logic about the foundation to try and get out of that. Candy goes crazy, insulting Lambchop on her blog and on Candy's blog for essentially not liking the mirrors above the bed. Candy calls Lambchop all sorts of names. Makes posts on Lambchop and the haters.

Candy is DONE blogging. Everyone is jealous. Everyone is Satan.

The posts are scrubbed within a day and Candy is back to blogging within 3.

[Cran]

Wait, did that happen again or is this a recap of the epic meltdown that happened years ago (2007?8?9?) when there were still several Anti-Candy-Blogs?

[Georgiana]

Wait, did that happen again or is this a recap of the epic meltdown that happened years ago (2007?8?9?) when there were still several Anti-Candy-Blogs?

Oh, this is just a recap of one of my favorite things that happened a few years ago. There were still several Anti-Candy blogs, and I believe the year was around 2010 because I was still in school, though in or close to my final year.

[Jessica]

It wasn't a manufactured home, it was a CLAYTON HOME THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!! ;)

I wish Sweeping the Cobwebs were still around. So much crazy was recorded there. Like when the blog went down because they were LIVING THE DREAM of "Christian homesteading"... in a mobile home park. With no garden. Or livestock. But she was making her own kombucha, yogurt (from Walmart brand whole milk, buttermilk, and sourdough starter so therefore they were homesteading!

Or the time she caught a rattlesnake, killed it, got it all prepped for eating and they feasted on it for dinner. She removed the not-yet-digested mouse first, and even got it on video. I think she also caught a catfish and there was a bizarre video of her stabbing it in her bathtub. I just remember her praying over it first and roaring "LOOOOOORRRD!!!!!!!!" as she swung the knife down into it.

Or that other time where everything was great in Candyland, but then someone found an entry from Candy for a contest to win $40,000 because her "hardworking" husband didn't have work. After STC found it, the entry went down and suddenly everything was a-okay. I offered (and I think several other posters did too) to send her a gift certificate to a local grocery store so she could buy food, and she called us all stalkers. Then not even two weeks later she was buying a new leather-bound KJV Bible for each of her kids. Because... yes... Begging for money on the internet because you don't habe enough money to feed your kids is a GREAT time to be spending probably over $100 on books that you already own half a million copies of!!!

[VooDooChild]

It wasn't a manufactured home, it was a CLAYTON HOME THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!! ;)

I wish Sweeping the Cobwebs were still around. So much crazy was recorded there. Like when the blog went down because they were LIVING THE DREAM of "Christian homesteading"... in a mobile home park. With no garden. Or livestock. But she was making her own kombucha, yogurt (from Walmart brand whole milk, buttermilk, and sourdough starter so therefore they were homesteading!

Or the time she caught a rattlesnake, killed it, got it all prepped for eating and they feasted on it for dinner. She removed the not-yet-digested mouse first, and even got it on video. I think she also caught a catfish and there was a bizarre video of her stabbing it in her bathtub. I just remember her praying over it first and roaring "LOOOOOORRRD!!!!!!!!" as she swung the knife down into it.

Or that other time where everything was great in Candyland, but then someone found an entry from Candy for a contest to win $40,000 because her "hardworking" husband didn't have work. After STC found it, the entry went down and suddenly everything was a-okay. I offered (and I think several other posters did too) to send her a gift certificate to a local grocery store so she could buy food, and she called us all stalkers. Then not even two weeks later she was buying a new leather-bound KJV Bible for each of her kids. Because... yes... Begging for money on the internet because you don't habe enough money to feed your kids is a GREAT time to be spending probably over $100 on books that you already own half a million copies of!!!

:pink-shock: I just.... :pink-shock:

[salex]

yousaytoo.com/meet-a-true-mobile-home-advocate-mrs-candy-brauer/1722000

DOn't know much about this chick, but found this when I googled.....

[danvillebelle]

It wasn't a manufactured home, it was a CLAYTON HOME THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!! ;)

I wish Sweeping the Cobwebs were still around. So much crazy was recorded there. Like when the blog went down because they were LIVING THE DREAM of "Christian homesteading"... in a mobile home park. With no garden. Or livestock. But she was making her own kombucha, yogurt (from Walmart brand whole milk, buttermilk, and sourdough starter so therefore they were homesteading!

Or the time she caught a rattlesnake, killed it, got it all prepped for eating and they feasted on it for dinner. She removed the not-yet-digested mouse first, and even got it on video. I think she also caught a catfish and there was a bizarre video of her stabbing it in her bathtub. I just remember her praying over it first and roaring "LOOOOOORRRD!!!!!!!!" as she swung the knife down into it.

Or that other time where everything was great in Candyland, but then someone found an entry from Candy for a contest to win $40,000 because her "hardworking" husband didn't have work. After STC found it, the entry went down and suddenly everything was a-okay. I offered (and I think several other posters did too) to send her a gift certificate to a local grocery store so she could buy food, and she called us all stalkers. Then not even two weeks later she was buying a new leather-bound KJV Bible for each of her kids. Because... yes... Begging for money on the internet because you don't habe enough money to feed your kids is a GREAT time to be spending probably over $100 on books that you already own half a million copies of!!!

:shock: Wow. Apparently in only reading her for the last couple of years, I have barely scratched the surface of the cray-cray.

We lived in the country for 4 years and actually had a flock of 30 laying hens, but I never considered us homesteaders because we didn't have a garden or dairy goats or any meat animals. I guess we had Candy beat all to hell! :lol:

[ILoveJellybeans]

It wasn't a manufactured home, it was a CLAYTON HOME THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!! ;)

I wish Sweeping the Cobwebs were still around. So much crazy was recorded there. Like when the blog went down because they were LIVING THE DREAM of "Christian homesteading"... in a mobile home park. With no garden. Or livestock. But she was making her own kombucha, yogurt (from Walmart brand whole milk, buttermilk, and sourdough starter so therefore they were homesteading!

Or the time she caught a rattlesnake, killed it, got it all prepped for eating and they feasted on it for dinner. She removed the not-yet-digested mouse first, and even got it on video. I think she also caught a catfish and there was a bizarre video of her stabbing it in her bathtub. I just remember her praying over it first and roaring "LOOOOOORRRD!!!!!!!!" as she swung the knife down into it.

Or that other time where everything was great in Candyland, but then someone found an entry from Candy for a contest to win $40,000 because her "hardworking" husband didn't have work. After STC found it, the entry went down and suddenly everything was a-okay. I offered (and I think several other posters did too) to send her a gift certificate to a local grocery store so she could buy food, and she called us all stalkers. Then not even two weeks later she was buying a new leather-bound KJV Bible for each of her kids. Because... yes... Begging for money on the internet because you don't habe enough money to feed your kids is a GREAT time to be spending probably over $100 on books that you already own half a million copies of!!!

She caught and ate a rattlesnake? Snakes don't seem to have much meat on them :/ Also aren't they poisonous.

There is a video of her stabbing a fish in her bathtub praying over it and shouting about God? I think this woman is insane.

[Jessica]

She told someone at STC that their grandmother was in Hell because she was Catholic.

Divorce is bad, except when you're Erik & Candy who "divorced" his family because they're Catholic...

She got mad at a commenter who disagreed with her so to get back at her, she posted a Google Maps street view image of their house.

At one point several years ago, she was charging, I think, about $7 for a recipe "e-book" which included recipes for ants on a log and spaghetti (the recipe used store-bought spaghetti sauce).

She eats a "Nourishing Traditions" diet (yet loves Taco Bell and soda) and exercises for an hour every day and is always in such great health (even her sweat and poop are completely odorless because of her amazing diet!) yet she always needs to lose 10-15 pounds... until she gets bored then she is happy with her weight again. She loves kombucha except she doesn't.... except she does... depending on her mood I guess?

She and Erik "married themselves" instead of having someone else officiate.

You don't need real glasses, or even to see an actual eye doctor. Just make your own pinhole glasses instead!

CHEMTRAILZZZ!!!!

And always remember, folks! You can cure brown recluse bites with hot tap water! Nothing to worry about!

[fundiefan]

She told someone at STC that their grandmother was in Hell because she was Catholic.

Divorce is bad, except when you're Erik & Candy who "divorced" his family because they're Catholic...

She got mad at a commenter who disagreed with her so to get back at her, she posted a Google Maps street view image of their house.

At one point several years ago, she was charging, I think, about $7 for a recipe "e-book" which included recipes for ants on a log and spaghetti (the recipe used store-bought spaghetti sauce).

She eats a "Nourishing Traditions" diet (yet loves Taco Bell and soda) and exercises for an hour every day and is always in such great health (even her sweat and poop are completely odorless because of her amazing diet!) yet she always needs to lose 10-15 pounds... until she gets bored then she is happy with her weight again. She loves kombucha except she doesn't.... except she does... depending on her mood I guess?

She and Erik "married themselves" instead of having someone else officiate.

You don't need real glasses, or even to see an actual eye doctor. Just make your own pinhole glasses instead!

CHEMTRAILZZZ!!!!

And always remember, folks! You can cure brown recluse bites with hot tap water! Nothing to worry about!

Don't forget to add the raw celery to the jarred spaghetti sauce. And, that her recipe is special because she uses two jars, not just one.

I still have the recipe 'ebook' as well as a couple of others. Some things are just too priceless to put in the trash. It begins with a bible verse, the one that claims if you are a Christian you just thank god for your food and he automatically makes it healthy for you. But, if you're not a Christian you're shit out of luck unless you follow her links and learn how to be saved the Candy Way.

[Georgiana]

And the annual week's worth of posts on the excellence of her Home Management Binder, which helps you keep everything organized and that's why Candy always remembers to do everything!

....Except renew the tabs on her car. Evidently that didn't make it into the HMB.

Edit:

How it's always important to look FEMININE, wear make-up, dresses only, long hair.....but clunky tennis shoes with your long dress is OK and totally part of the feminine mystique.

Head Cover! No don't! Yes do! Always or you dishonor your husband....except if you are working out. Then don't.

[Savoring Samsara]

Candy was one of my gateway fundies. Doesn't her husband also fancy himself to be some sort of genius inventor? I can't remember what the great invention he was seeking funding for was exactly, except that it was something really ridiculous.

[spud]

You guys forgot their home-made video of predictions of life under Obama.....the one where they predict the government will create and release a virus that kills dogs.

Candy was my gateway fundie too. I stayed up til 3 am on a school night reading her blog cos I'd never seen anything like it before and was fascinated by crazy.

[fundiefan]

Candy was one of my gateway fundies. Doesn't her husband also fancy himself to be some sort of genius inventor? I can't remember what the great invention he was seeking funding for was exactly, except that it was something really ridiculous.

Yes. It was his great work in super secret technology that brought the feds calling to spy on them, bug their house and follow them in order to keep it from getting out.

He also sold many patents and was inducted into the 'inventor hall of fame' or something at some unnamed time in the past. But, if you look up the organization that actually awards such things, he is not listed. Candy says that's because there are two organizations...I can't remember why there is no public information regarding the second one, but there was some story to explain why no one could find any record of this prestigious award and recognition.

[jerkit]

You guys forgot their home-made video of predictions of life under Obama.....the one where they predict the government will create and release a virus that kills dogs.

Please tell me this still exists somewhere in internetland.

[salex]

antislavery.freeservers.com/profile.htm is this her husband(running for office a long time ago)?

[fundiefan]

antislavery.freeservers.com/profile.htm is this her husband(running for office a long time ago)?

Yes, that's him.

[spud]

Please tell me this still exists somewhere in internetland.

I haven't been able to find it for you, maybe someone with better Google-Fu can. It was basically their imaginings of life a few years into the future (dystopian, post-revolution under Obama) filmed as though they'd survived it as recent history. I don't think they explained why anyone would want to kill all the dogs. It was truly bizarre. I remember them filming themselves driving round some bleak landscape and turning the camera to their dog lying on the backseat to show that they'd managed to get a dog that was immune. It ended with Candy lunging towards the camera to warn that this would come to pass if Obama was elected.

[Cannelle]

Count me in as another one for whom Candy was a gateway fundy. I'd seen fundies before, out and about with their long hair and skirts/dresses, but never before had I been made aware of what their lives looked like. I was fascinated and hooked immediately.

[FundieWatcher]

She was my gateway fundie as well. I have no idea how in the world I ended up on her blog all those years ago...I didn't read her blog for a very long time. When I lost interest she did not wear a hair cover. In fact she wrote against it.

I feel for her. I do believe she has always been different and wasn't treated right because of it. I believe that a lot of the crazy is a giant defense mechanism. I wish her children well. I think she has been decent in teaching them. How they will react in the real world remains to be seen.

[nelliebelle1197]

And the annual week's worth of posts on the excellence of her Home Management Binder, which helps you keep everything organized and that's why Candy always remembers to do everything!

....Except renew the tabs on her car. Evidently that didn't make it into the HMB.

Edit:

How it's always important to look FEMININE, wear make-up, dresses only, long hair.....but clunky tennis shoes with your long dress is OK and totally part of the feminine mystique.

Head Cover! No don't! Yes do! Always or you dishonor your husband....except if you are working out. Then don't.

And don't forget you need the headcovering so fallen angels don't want to have sex with you and breed 1/2 demon spawn. Or something.