Duggars, Duggars Everywhere - general discussion Part 4

[tabitha2]

Yes, Cousin Amy is hurting, & that sucks. And she could have avoided that hurt by "guarding her heart" & following the courtship model. But guess what, I bet she learned a whole lot from this relationship. She learned more about who she, herself is. She learned what she wants & doesn't want out of a relationship. She learned how she wants to be treated & how she would want to feel in a relationship. Maybe she learned how she does & doesn't want to communicate, & how to do that more effectively. She learned what NOT to look for in a future partner, and maybe some non-negotiables. She's also going to learn how strong she is, that she can overcome trials & tribulations, & that she can pick herself up & dust herself off and she's a better person for the experience. She also might be a better girlfriend &/or wife because of the experience. This is life. It's not always nice & pretty & comfortable. But the more we fall, the more we learn how to better avoid those pot holes & learn how to recover & heal.

You are a more charitable person than I...all I see is a rather flighty, rather aimless women child in her 30's eternally looking for A man. If she had absorbed or learned so uch I would thing she'd be the same position she was in the exact 3 years ago.

[HereticHick]

I think Amy smothers her men. She comes off as desperate.

[JenniferJuniper]

I think Amy smothers her men. She comes off as desperate.

I'll bet she starts thinking marriage on Date 1 and starts talking marriage after Month 1. Which is guaranteed to scare off the type of men she's attracted to.

[FloraDoraDolly]

On this forum, we often discuss how fundies in their 20s and 30s still act like children. Amy is not a fundie, but to me she seems stuck somewhere between 16 and 20 years old. She's still figuring out who she is and what she wants out of life. Amy is a fun person who has a lot of energy, but she doesn't seem to know what to do with herself. I can't help but wonder if ADHD runs in that family. As for the boyfriends, I don't know if she's picking the wrong guys or if she's doing something that prevents these relationships from succeeding. But it's not good for her to keep putting herself through these same scenarios. One or two bad relationships can be a learning experience, but when the same thing keeps happening over and over and over again, it's time to do some serious thinking.

[FlorenceHamilton]

I think FAMY has several reasons to self-sabotage in relationships. I do think that being the Duggar relative plays strongly into her issues. She is a child conceived outside marriage. From the moment of her birth, she has been the "lesser" grandchild. She is surrounded by this rigid, legalistic fundamentalism, but it is likely that even her mainstram infuences have been religiously conservative and judgemental.

Yes, Amy chooses mates poorly and impulsively. She can't have very good self esteem. when she gets affirmation from a man, she bandages the hurt with this affirmation and eventually it is too heavy a burden for these men to bear.

Amy is mainstream, but her take home message is the same. She is, as a human, a lowly wretched sinner. She is, as a woman lower than men. As an illegitimate chid she is lower than children born inside of a marriage. Just like her female cousins, her only value is that attached to a man....but less deserving.

I don't wonder why she behaves as she does.

[Mama Mia]

Amy annoys me to death, but she doesn't seem that different than many people in their mid-twenties. A career goal in mind, but various crappy jobs while trying to make that happen ( she works sometimes right? ) going out a lot with friends and a series of relationships that last a couple years.

[marmalade]

I think Amy's problem is immaturity and a shallow personality. She's bubbly and fun to be with but after a few weeks or months that wears thin and the guy wants more substance while Amy wants an engagement and the result is a break up. Just my view but I think at least a couple of years at a college at least an hour from home would do her a world of good.

It's also spring training. DIdn't this entire relationship take place during the off-season, giving her more access to see him? I think his having to go on with his LIFE had a lot to do with this.

[ljohnson2006]

Her last name isn't even Duggar! It's Jordan, which is her father's last name.

[singsingsing]

Did you guys seen this post on the Duggars tumblr?:

Anonymous asked: I live in Springdale. I saw Jim Bob, Jinger, and a couple of the younger kids in Wal-Mart. Jinger was upset about something, crying and red faced. She said "I'm not going to do it." Jim Bob looked livid and told her in a stern voice they would discuss it when they got home.

Interesting if it's true (and I hope it is because I love the idea of one of these girls saying "I'm not going to do it" to Jim Bob). Maybe she didn't want to go on the book tour. I wouldn't blame her. Some of them MUST hate being dragged all around hell's half acre for their family's shenanigans.

[Coconut Flan]

If only that will lead to the revolt of heading out on her own away from the cult. One of them has to leave, don't they?

[breaker]

The title of the new episode is "A Duggar Says Yes" :think:

04-01-2014 A Duggar Says Yes

The Duggar boys put Ben to the test; Jessa visits Ben's hometown; a Duggar daughter leaves the nest.

[lillybeth]

The title of the new episode is "A Duggar Says Yes" :think:

Ugh. View ploy.

It's definitely yes to a courtship. They'll stretch that sucker out all season long. We'll have spent as much time with the couple as they'll have actually spent together before getting hitched.

[lilith]

Ugh. View ploy.

It's definitely yes to a courtship. They'll stretch that sucker out all season long. We'll have spent as much time with the couple as they'll have actually spent together before getting hitched.

And the "Duggar girl leaving the nest" will be Jana going off to lead another Journey to the Heart.

[Ting1789]

That instagram video of Jinger - please tell me I wasn't the only one who thought that Jinger had been taken by the body snatchers and Chloe Sevingny decided to stand in and went with her Nicki Grant attitude.

[bal maiden]

Amy annoys me to death, but she doesn't seem that different than many people in their mid-twenties. A career goal in mind, but various crappy jobs while trying to make that happen ( she works sometimes right? ) going out a lot with friends and a series of relationships that last a couple years.

I agree - I wouldn't want to be friends with her due to her general twattishness, but she seems like a perfectly normal person for her age.

[isarhenne]

That instagram video of Jinger - please tell me I wasn't the only one who thought that Jinger had been taken by the body snatchers and Chloe Sevingny decided to stand in and went with her Nicki Grant attitude.

haha, I can see what you mean. Also, my first thought was that the tone of her voice (deep, monotone), her sarcastic, unsure facial expressions and her hand movements are very much like Kristen Stewart's. In general, Jinger reminds me so much of Kristen Stewart. I really don't know why?

[ILoveJellybeans]

Did you guys seen this post on the Duggars tumblr?:

Interesting if it's true (and I hope it is because I love the idea of one of these girls saying "I'm not going to do it" to Jim Bob). Maybe she didn't want to go on the book tour. I wouldn't blame her. Some of them MUST hate being dragged all around hell's half acre for their family's shenanigans.

Awww I hope shes okay :( Good for her for standing up for herself, if its true, but I hope the consequences of her saying no weren't too bad :( I wonder what it was :(

[JenniferJuniper]

I agree - I wouldn't want to be friends with her due to her general twattishness, but she seems like a perfectly normal person for her age.

Nothing about her behavior seems perfectly normal to me.

She's 28 years old this year and acts like a child. I know it's traditional for an older generation to believe the next generation isn't as hardworking or as independent as they were, and I know economic times are tough. But as far as I can see, Amy is making no effort to grow up and get on with her life. She babysits, she goes to lunch, she manhunts. Using her family name, she flirted with a singing career that even a casual listener could see was not going to get off the ground. And she does the endless teenage angst shit out on social media.

Do some people in their late 20's behave that way? Sure. But most do not. Many don't have parents who can afford to indulge this sort of nonsense, so they bust their asses at multiple jobs to pay their share of the rent. Many have families of their own. Most are acting like adults.

Amy doesn't have the fundie excuse. I think she's just been spoiled and pampered by her parents and is looking to continue that pampering via an adoring husband. Maybe she'll find some 50 year old guy willing to do it, but none of the young bucks she's dating are going to put up with a 16 year old mentality for very long. And I bet she does tons of drama and weeping and wailing when things don't go her way. Blech.

30 beckons, F'Amy. Time to grow up.

[Mela99]

Amy is 28!?

Wow. I thought maybe 22 or 23..

[FJismyheadship]

What are the odds of TLC filming Ben at college? Non existent right?

[JellyHope]

You are a more charitable person than I...all I see is a rather flighty, rather aimless women child in her 30's eternally looking for A man. If she had absorbed or learned so uch I would thing she'd be the same position she was in the exact 3 years ago.

Oh don't get me wrong. I completely agree with you! I can't stand Cousin Famy, she makes me want to slap my tv. But it makes me gag that Boob & the J-Shell have, what they will pass off as "evidence", that the courtship model is the only way to go.

ETA: and this is what I would like to tell the Duggar girls, as a rebuttal to however their little fundie logic spins it

[Cleopatra7]

Awww I hope shes okay :( Good for her for standing up for herself, if its true, but I hope the consequences of her saying no weren't too bad :( I wonder what it was :(

Regardless of whether this particular incident is true (and I believe it is), I suspect that the people who live in Springdale and Tonitown have a lot of dirt on the Duggars. At this point, the older kids must be aware of how strange their upbringing is compared to their peers. JD and Joseph have never seemed comfortable on camera, and it wouldn't surprise me if the J'slaves are tired of it too. Jessa seems like one of the more social kids, but I can't imagine how embarrassing it must be to have the details of your romance and upcoming sex life paraded for public consumption. Perhaps Jessa's defensiveness about her lifestyle -- the declaration that they can do anything in skirts, the statement where she says the J'slaves don't sit around and eat bonbons, the weird Cosmo interview where she defends her "decision" to be a virgin until marriage -- come from a place of wanting to believe that her life is just as rich as everyone else's despite the evidence to the contrary.

[lagenialester]

Amy is 28!?

Wow. I thought maybe 22 or 23..

Same here! I'm 24, married, with a kid, and I have a master's degree. She seems to be trolling around in life waiting for someone to do something to make her a grown-up.

[Becket70]

I am so sick of the Duggars and their "our way is the best way" attitude. Life is not a one-size-fits-all thing. My brother got his girlfriend pregnant when he was 18 and she was 17. They got married, had four children and now have three grandchildren. He has a fine career in avionics due his training in the Marine Corps. I have three family who were in the Marines. What's the deal with the Duggars and their lack of military service?

[ljohnson2006]

Obviously how the Duggars run their kids lives isn't working, because they're depressed, but Boob and Mullet are too stupid to see it. If you can't see that your kids are sick of the dog and pony show by how they act during appearances, than you're blind. Get a clue!