The Courtship of Jessa Duggar - Part 2

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Probably a VSE of everyone pitching it and fixing up the new home.

[sunshine]

Given that Ben first "met" Jessa via the TV show, I doubt he cares. Hell, he probably wants a cut of the TLC pie, which he'll get, at least for the VSE Wedding of the Year.

Boob will be on full display for that one. How creepy will it be to hear him give the "first kiss" speech? Will Gothard be on hand to remind Jessa that she is now Ben's property, or will he stay away because Ben's family is VF? I don't know that I've seen him at a "mixed" marriage before.

It is very very creepy that Jimbob said that Josh could kiss Anna. Gothard will be there, but we won't see him on tv. The Duggars are a part of the Gothard dynasty, so it doesn't matter that it will be a mixed marriage. (funny.) I am sure Gothard will probably use the VF downfall as a way to get more followers.

[Katydid]

That turns up on my Facebook feed pretty regularly. I don't think the people I've seen posting it are promoting the "waiting" part as in wait for courtship, or for him to find you. They do it more as a "don't fall for assholes, there's guys who aren't jerks out there" .

The only people on my feed who have posted that meme are very definitely not fundie or fundie light (the majority of my friends are either Catholic or don't subscribe to any particular faith). It's definitely posted in a "Don't fall for an idiot, y'all" kind of way.

[silverspoons]

I kind of feel like this courtship is like Joe Maxwell & Elizabeth Munck. You have one family that is clearly more dominate and controlling but Ben isn't allowed to back out? I bet Jim Bob is giving Ben real estate advice, and helping him pick out the cheapo fixer(I also don't get why anyone would want to lease a fixer?). I know Jim Bob has had his success in the past in real estate but I don't think he is as savy today except for finding dumps to put his kids to work cleaning & renting them out. The kids can clean up trash and paint but I doubt the Duggar team can do proper plumbing, electrical, and other major work. I would hope JB would rather Jessa live in a new manufactured home , then some run down fixer. Didn't they take 4 or more years on the TTT and it wasn't even near done when TLC came in. I doubt they have gained more "life skills" since then.

I bet Jim Bob loves being able to give his advice to a family and future son SIL that eagerly eat it up. This is the perfect way that Jim bob does not really have to give up authority over Jessa. If Jim did truly give authority over to 18 year old Ben, what is life going to be like living in a dump in the woods? Either it could be great to be far away from daddy and your siblings or it could be very scary.

[JenniferJuniper]

I bet Jim Bob loves being able to give his advice to a family and future son SIL that eagerly eat it up. This is the perfect way that Jim bob does not really have to give up authority over Jessa. If Jim did truly give authority over to 18 year old Ben, what is life going to be like living in a dump in the woods? Either it could be great to be far away from daddy and your siblings or it could be very scary.

To keep up pretenses, I think Jessa is going to have to live in that dump in the woods.

And although she seems to be pretty tough (just like her little lost buddy Jordyn), I'm still going with scary. It's all such bullshit. These kids with zero life experience have no business getting married, especially when you consider that do-overs aren't permitted in their culture.

[upkacrane]

It is very very creepy that Jimbob said that Josh could kiss Anna. Gothard will be there, but we won't see him on tv. The Duggars are a part of the Gothard dynasty, so it doesn't matter that it will be a mixed marriage. (funny.) I am sure Gothard will probably use the VF downfall as a way to get more followers.

So, was VF rivalling with ATI/IBLP? I started a thread in the SOTDRT forum asking about differences between Doug Phillips' and Gothard's versions of Christian patriarchy and whether the two of them know each other personally, but nobody seems to answer. Could somebody please elaborate on how VF and Ati folks get along? Do their beliefs differ?

[sunshine]

So, was VF rivalling with ATI/IBLP? I started a thread in the SOTDRT forum asking about differences between Doug Phillips' and Gothard's versions of Christian patriarchy and whether the two of them know each other personally, but nobody seems to answer. Could somebody please elaborate on how VF and Ati folks get along? Do their beliefs differ?

This is just my observation only. I don't believe this is a rivalry because members of either group do socialize with one another. The whole point of both organization is to show the teaching of Christ and to bring people into the fold. Like, hey your life seems different...and a conversation forms about their organization etc. I'm sure that people who attend Gothard organization could say hey, come to our programs; thus the transition. News like VF and others do travel quickly in other organization...so it is likely people will encourage them to come to Gothard.

[gustava]

Apparently, there are definite theological differences, though I can't tell you what they are. And I apologize that no one responded to your thread on SOTDRT. I'll wander over to Google and see if I can figure it out.

This is just my observation only. I don't believe this is a rivalry because members of either group do socialize with one another. The whole point of both organization is to show the teaching of Christ and to bring people into the fold. Like, hey your life seems different...and a conversation forms about their organization etc. I'm sure that people who attend Gothard organization could say hey, come to our programs; thus the transition. News like VF and others do travel quickly in other organization...so it is likely people will encourage them to come to Gothard.

[Iokaste]

At least she's getting away - how far is Hot Springs, anyway?

Will she need to be chaperoned with her own husband like J'uterus wants to do with Smuggar? Divide up the rest of the girls to keep an eye on them?

Well, that's how her life turned out isn't it? Having your husband's mother breathing down your neck for ever seems to be expected in this lifestyle, ugh

[Incognito22]

This "courtship" is more full of crap than Dede's 13 year lung horse angel.

[GeoBQn]

I can't even read Ben's FB page for snark value anymore. He's posted every damn anti-abortion meme on the internet.

[curlykate]

I know earlier in the thread we had a discussion about some pictures of Jessa with Ben's family, in which she had her arms crossed.

Last night I finally got around to actually watching some of my recorded episodes of 19kac, and I noticed in the episode where all the girls go camping, Jessa has a similar posture/stance. When they're all sitting around the campfire and Erin is sharing the story of her and Chad, Jessa is sitting there with her arms crossed pretty much identically to her posture in those pictures.

This leads me to believe that she just naturally crosses her arms like that. Originally some of us had speculated that she was trying to hide a ring, but there's no way she would have had a ring at that point, without already being married. Unless of course they have a longer-than-normal engagement for a fundie couple, and I just don't see that happening.

[sunshine]

We probably won't hear about Jessa's engagement until after her honeymoon. Hopefully, another Duggar woman or man would be engaged by then.

[Rescinded and Mended]

I'm wondering if, since the release date for the Duggar daughters' book on courtship has been pushed back to March of next year, JB and M plan to have Jessa married to Ben before then. I hope not - seems like things are moving along quickly, and Ben's abortion posts are rather creepy and unsettling. I hope this is something Jessa wants rather than it being a choice that has been made for her.

[fullmetalheart]

Going back to VF vs ATI, it's my understanding that one is more Baptist and the other is more Calvinist. There are certainly theological differences there (which I could elaborate more on if anyone wants, just know that I have strep and possibly mono, so a post may take a couple days). So that's the big thing, I believe.

I naturally cross my arms and pop my hip a bit too. In all the casual photos of the wedding I videographed last year, I have the arm crossing going on. So it could just be natural for Jessa as well.

[gustava]

Going back to VF vs ATI, it's my understanding that one is more Baptist and the other is more Calvinist. There are certainly theological differences there (which I could elaborate more on if anyone wants, just know that I have strep and possibly mono, so a post may take a couple days). So that's the big thing, I believe.

I naturally cross my arms and pop my hip a bit too. In all the casual photos of the wedding I videographed last year, I have the arm crossing going on. So it could just be natural for Jessa as well.

Thanks for this info. I went to both web sites and couldn't figure out what ATIers believe. For my own curiosity, and when you feel better, would you provide source links?

[upkacrane]

Going back to VF vs ATI, it's my understanding that one is more Baptist and the other is more Calvinist. There are certainly theological differences there (which I could elaborate more on if anyone wants, just know that I have strep and possibly mono, so a post may take a couple days). So that's the big thing, I believe.

I naturally cross my arms and pop my hip a bit too. In all the casual photos of the wedding I videographed last year, I have the arm crossing going on. So it could just be natural for Jessa as well.

I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on the theological differences between ATI and VF! I'd be soooo grateful if you could take the time to write a post. No rush, though! Make sure you feel better before you do.

Take care :)

[Mela99]

I'm wondering if, since the release date for the Duggar daughters' book on courtship has been pushed back to March of next year, JB and M plan to have Jessa married to Ben before then. I hope not - seems like things are moving along quickly, and Ben's abortion posts are rather creepy and unsettling. I hope this is something Jessa wants rather than it being a choice that has been made for her.

Side note, but isn't that why they changed the date for their other book? To include wedding photos from Smuggar's wedding?

[actuallyjessica]

I'm wondering if, since the release date for the Duggar daughters' book on courtship has been pushed back to March of next year, JB and M plan to have Jessa married to Ben before then. I hope not - seems like things are moving along quickly, and Ben's abortion posts are rather creepy and unsettling. I hope this is something Jessa wants rather than it being a choice that has been made for her.

well, it's not much of an advice book about love and marriage without any of them having experienced it, is it? so... i'm betting yes.

[nelliebelle1197]

I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on the theological differences between ATI and VF! I'd be soooo grateful if you could take the time to write a post. No rush, though! Make sure you feel better before you do.

Take care :)

Maybe ask Happy Atheist if this should go in SODRT??

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Ben's going to be a fun one. I looked thoroughly at his fb likes. He may look semi normal and his extended family may be normal, but he is deeply into theology (and of course the pro life movement). And why would someone "like" Robert E. Lee?

[Rescinded and Mended]

Why do I keep picturing this kid ending up as the next Nathan Price from The Poisonwood Bible?

[nellautumngirl]

Ben's going to be a fun one. I looked thoroughly at his fb likes. He may look semi normal and his extended family may be normal, but he is deeply into theology (and of course the pro life movement). And why would someone "like" Robert E. Lee?

Yeah, his aunt and their family almost look like normal conservative Christians, but if you look at his parents, his mother always has that plastered on smile and the slightly crazy eyes of a fundie. Not exactly promising for Jessa.

[lizziesmom]

Do we know how Jim Bob found Ben? I can't imagine that Jessa had any say in this initially.

[twinmama]

Can you imagine what her first night alone in a house with him would be like? I wouldn't be surprised if the relative, howler-free silence was downright spooky for her. At least Smugger was able to get out of the house from time to time to "work" at the car lot, but Jessa's been pretty much surrounded by a constant buzz since she was old enough to be a buddy.

I keep thinking of how much of a break she's going to get!! Even if she gets pregnant on her wedding night, that's no kids to take care of for 9 whole months. Of course, it'll probably be the last break she gets until menopause.