Erin & Chad are offical...

[Iokaste]

The whole idea of discussing family planning before having one child as a couple seems :cray-cray:.

So you should get married without even discussing how many kids you'd each like to have? That seems :cray-cray: to me.

I agree that it's crazy for two almost-teenagers (or anyone actually) to make a commitment to a huge family before having any kids at all, but I really really think it's one of the things you should have talked about before you decide it's a good idea to spend life together.

[love2scrap]

The angle of that pic on chads engagement post makes it appear that Erin does not tease her hair. It looks sort of thick. Looks waaaay better without the poofy bangs she used to have

[scc12]

I sometimes wonder if this is a requirement to be written into the vows since we have seen it in almost every fundie wedding that has been streamed. The whole idea of discussing family planning before having one child as a couple seems :cray-cray:. Then again they would say we are following a higher calling and being true Christians. I find this logic funny since if I recall correctly there are not different grades of Christians discussed in the Bible. We are all suppose to be equal or so the theory goes.

I wonder as well.I do think it'll be included,given Gil's ATI position.

Michelle has made a point to mention it was inc. in Josh and Anna's vows,even in their 2nd book.I think she thinks if she keeps mentioning it,they'll feel obligated to stick to it.

I do recall the segment on the Today show where Josh was asked how many kids they want,and he said "we were thinking maybe 2 or 3...18 isn't for everybody".This was when they found out if Mack was a boy or a girl.

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

I simply do not understand why everyone is so convinced that Erin is some kind of "princess" who doesn't want to get her hands dirty. We have zero evidence that she does any less work around the house or anything, plus she is actually working on a degree on top of that. She just happens to be pretty and to lime doing her hair, and is a little standoffish, but I honestly don't see her as that much more obnoxious than any other young QFer.

[Guest]

I think people think of Erin as a princess because she's the most fashion conscious of the bunch, and she seems to enjoy her music far more than taking care of her parents' kids. I think the difference between her and her older sister Michael makes all of this especially apparent. I don't think anyone blames her for it either. Hell, if I were in her place, I would probably find an outlet in music too, and I think that her looks are just her expressing her individuality in an acceptable manner. I can't speak for everyone, but when I think of Erin as a "princess," I don't think that it's negative.

[bal maiden]

I don't know whether it's worth reading much into their future religious orientation through clothing choice, but in the picture on Chad's blog, Erin is wearing a dress that would be a low cut cross over front style, with another top underneath for modesty. Is it too much to hope that her owning such a potentially immodest(!) dress might mean she might one day wear it without the modesty top underneath (the horror!)?

[scc12]

Erin doesn't even like to cook...how is she going to cope with that,plus all the other givens of daily life,if she has a large family?

[walnut]

Erin doesn't even like to cook...how is she going to cope with that,plus all the other givens of daily life,if she has a large family?

Maybe Chad isn't looking for a servant and a broodmare and is willing to hire someone to clean up after them once a week and is financially stable enough to be able to eat out with his wife in the future. There's nothing wrong with sparing your wife from burdens. He adores Erin, and he probably has no intentions to turn her into a raggady, tired slave.

[singsingsing]

Learning to cook isn't exactly difficult. It's not like she's going to wake up the day after her honeymoon and suddenly discover that she has a husband and 12 children to feed. It's not like fundies are the only ones who have to cook, everyone does unless you're rich enough to eat out every single meal. I'm sure she'll be fine.

[walnut]

Actually, around here if you are just a couple, or single, or even a couple with one kid it IS cheaper to eat out at a diner than to drive to the supermarket, buy the food, prepare the food, cook the food, wash the dishes, etc. All in all, it's cheaper and it saves a lot of time, and we know time is money.

[love2scrap]

I simply do not understand why everyone is so convinced that Erin is some kind of "princess" who doesn't want to get her hands dirty. We have zero evidence that she does any less work around the house or anything, plus she is actually working on a degree on top of that. She just happens to be pretty and to lime doing her hair, and is a little standoffish, but I honestly don't see her as that much more obnoxious than any other young QFer.

It bothers me too. From the TV show there were observations drawn that she was lazing around on the sofa while the others did housework. Well because TV shows represent life exactly as it is, right? From experience, growing up in a fundie home means the kids take turns to have jobs. Free time is for lazing around! and doing fundie kid/teen stuff. And let me tell you, if aa fundie girl is princessy, likes to do her hair or escape from jobs, she will definitelg not be seen as a model child. In fact there is a mild stigma attached to being the "lazy" type. all girls are expected to be hardworking housewifely types.

In the fundie culture there is judgmentalism on the princessy types. So it kinda feels weird to find a similar attitude on FJ.

just my two cents...

[nokidsmom]

It bothers me too. From the TV show there were observations drawn that she was lazing around on the sofa while the others did housework. Well because TV shows represent life exactly as it is, right? From experience, growing up in a fundie home means the kids take turns to have jobs. Free time is for lazing around! and doing fundie kid/teen stuff. And let me tell you, if aa fundie girl is princessy, likes to do her hair or escape from jobs, she will definitelg not be seen as a model child. In fact there is a mild stigma attached to being the "lazy" type. all girls are expected to be hardworking housewifely types.

In the fundie culture there is judgmentalism on the princessy types. So it kinda feels weird to find a similar attitude on FJ.

just my two cents...

While I have gotten a "princessey vibe" from Erin and have said so here, I also know that's my own impression and I could be totally wrong. Also, to be honest, I highly doubt that Gil and Kelly would allow her to slack off while other kids do the work. They seem to make sure that chores divided more fairly amongst their kids, so she has to know some things about cooking and housework. And as stated above, a housewifely type is going to be sought after in fundie circles.

Also, in the pics with Chad, Erin seems more relaxed and genuinely happy. Less "princessey" in other words.

[HereticHick]

I also think that Erin looks genuinely happy in the pics. Also, she teaches piano lessons (and not just to her siblings) so, no, she doesn't lounge around on the sofa rolling her hair all day. I am DYING to know where she & Chad are going to live when they marry. Kelly wrote that the family will visit their house often--so it sounds like near the Bates. Is Chad just going to find some construction work? (in the winter in the foothills of Appalachia? good luck with that!) Or maybe work with Gil's tree service. How may sons/sons in law can Gil's business support?

Are they buying or renting a house? Maybe a trailer on the Bates property?

[bal maiden]

I also think that Erin looks genuinely happy in the pics. Also, she teaches piano lessons (and not just to her siblings) so, no, she doesn't lounge around on the sofa rolling her hair all day. I am DYING to know where she & Chad are going to live when they marry. Kelly wrote that the family will visit their house often--so it sounds like near the Bates. Is Chad just going to find some construction work? (in the winter in the foothills of Appalachia? good luck with that!) Or maybe work with Gil's tree service. How may sons/sons in law can Gil's business support?

Are they buying or renting a house? Maybe a trailer on the Bates property?

I asked that question on their blog - apparently they are going to live in TN whilst Erin finishes her degree... Who knows if that is a precursor/excuse for her to stay closer to home longer term?

[ILoveJellybeans]

I quite like the princessy kind of fundie daughter (except for Raquel, who is just awful), cause theyve got a bit of extra personality and usually arent the keeping sweet submissive sort-theres a bit more hope for them as raising 300 kids in a tiny house and being their husbands slave probably sounds as unappealing to them as it does for most of us.

[walnut]

That princessy thing isn't necessarily bad in everyone's eyes. If I had her features... : ) But then again, I don't. I wish her nothing less but a long life of pampered princesshood.

[anjulibai]

I see princessyness is Erin for a number of reasons:

1) She's the only girl so far allowed to really follow her passion. Only recently has Michael been allowed to do stuff really away from home, and I have a feeling that's because people are always asking about her. None of the other girls seem to be encouraged to do anything remotely similar. With the boys, we see them encouraged to do a lot of different things.

2) Her hair. None of the other Bates girls, even ones with very thick hair, do that stuff. She obviously takes time on her appearance, which is fine in general, but it's to a degree not seen in the other kids so it's obviously not something super pushed on them.

3) There have been several blog entries where Kelly has commented about Erin praying for her siblings' spiritual welfare, worrying about their souls, pushing them to read the Bible more, etc. She is highly praised for doing so. That says to me that Erin enjoys getting into her siblings' business and being a bit of a nark. None of the other children have ever been described that way.

4) Her general attitude on both of the shows. Yes, TV can edit, but she's definitely got a superior attitude going on. Whenever I have seen her, I have thought her horribly smug.

I certainly wish her a happy life, and she does look happy, but I think I would find her totally insufferable to be around.

[infooverload]

So you should get married without even discussing how many kids you'd each like to have? That seems :cray-cray: to me.

I agree that it's crazy for two almost-teenagers (or anyone actually) to make a commitment to a huge family before having any kids at all, but I really really think it's one of the things you should have talked about before you decide it's a good idea to spend life together.

I should have been clearer what I meant was I think it is a little :cray-cray: to state you are going to have an indefinite number of kids before you have even had 1 child together. I mean there are so many variables that go into family planning and there should be room for the couple to decide on their own. I do not think family planning should be a part of the vows, since it is private. To me it seems almost akin to this is how we will have relations. There are certain things a couple should be allowed to discuss in private and come to a decision together. This part of the vows seems like a pressure and control tactic for their community to hold over them.

[Sweetpea1]

Does anybody want to take bets on how high Erin's hair will be on the wedding day? And how many cans of hairspray will be needed?

[Daenerys]

I can't imagine Erin spends a lot of time doing housework if she does that crazy hairdo every day... it must take ages.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Does anybody want to take bets on how high Erin's hair will be on the wedding day? And how many cans of hairspray will be needed?

Nearly as high as she is tall, using more hairspray than Jimbob uses in a week.

Or about as high as you have to be to believe anything that fundies do is actual science.

[slickcat79]

I don't think Erin's "OMG I might have to go to school with a guy who has green hair" speaks very highly of her general attitude. But it probably doesn't make her very different from other fundie kids either.

[Mela99]

Does anybody want to take bets on how high Erin's hair will be on the wedding day? And how many cans of hairspray will be needed?

I think she'll do her hair up and leave off veils and such.

[Sweetpea1]

I think she'll do her hair up and leave off veils and such.

I'm putting money on that along with some flowers. A veil would mess with things.

[scc12]

Well.I certainly hope that is the case,for Erin's sake (that he doesn't want to turn her into a broodmare).But just by virtue of marrying a fundie,it appears that is what is expected of one.

But I recall Kelly saying they had put off marriage until Chad found 'gainful employment',so it doesn't sound like he has a pot there waiting.