I am so much happier now that I accept what an ass I married

[GeoBQn]

Maybe someone can send a comment written in the most flowery, Titus-2-y language possible that her posts are making her marriage look bad and see how she reacts.

[alwayscaffeinated]

She might as well come right out and say, "All men are insensitive, clueless fools." How insulting to men in general.

[Closed Womb]

Having been around a lot of fundie-lites, the saddest thing about this is that if Lori were to leave this abusive asshole, he would be snapped up in a second by one of the many women praying for a Godly Man while she would likely go through her myriad of health issues without a partner (although she certainly might find support among friends and family.)

I knew a church going woman who was married to a Ken type for some 20 years. Demanding, belittling, you name it. She actually started sleeping in the closet as she would sometimes wake up to him sodomizing her if she slept in bed (the rape also known as her preforming her marital duties.) She eventually couldn't handle the stress (even with all the praying/crying to the LORD/Christian counseling/Christian marriage books) and divorced him. He was married at break-neck speed; she still unmarried and emotionally damaged.

Most churches I have been in have presented marriage as such as validating institution for women. They'd rather be abused than have the shame of being unmarried. It's nauseating, ESPECIALLY in light of what the Bible has to say about marriage (it's nothing special, just distracts from God.)

[littlemommy]

I can't believe she didn't approve my comment! I pointed out that two things are obvious: her disdain for Ken and the fact that he is a jackhole. I did get a thrill out of knowing she'll read it, at least. In fact, I feel quite gleeful. Possibly that means I'm a bad person, but...meh.

[Artemis]

Holy shit, I ask the poor bastard to do things maybe as often as every day. Major wife fail!

I can only assume that she means that she doesn't ask him to change rather than she never asks him for anything. Because really, how surreal would that be to be in a relationship where you can't ask for *anything*? I'm kind of imagining that rather than saying "Hey, honey, can you open this jar of applesauce for me?" (because as we all know feminine = poor grip strength), she prays for a quiet spirit and serves canned peaches.[/

'Prays for a quiet spirit and serves canned peaches'

The new post count marker.

I love it.

Might try my hand at the Titus 2 sweet talk 'your husband is an ass'.

[Loveday]

She didn't approve my comment either. I just pointed out that when I wanted something from my husband, I simply came out and asked. No manipulation, just a straightforward request. I guess that's not allowed in Lori's marriage. :roll:

[rward]

Does she get how awful she makes her marriage look? It's just mind boggling. :cray-cray:

There are some things you should give up changing about a person. My husband is not the person who should be handling the finances in our marriage. He also just can't seem to stop dropping his shoes and socks in random places throughout the house. It used to drive me nuts, then I learned to accept it and occasionally yell when I trip over shoes.

But making requests? All day long. Please keep an eye on the dog, he seemed a little listless this morning. When you're out today, please grab _________ for me. Can you start dinner before I get home, I'm starving. Could you text your sister and ask her about ____________.

He does the same to me. Please stop by the pharmacy and grab ________. Please deposit this money in the bank. Could you pick something up to eat while you're out, I'm working 6 til 9. My mom needs ____________, could you dig it out of the closet for her.

That's called marriage. If I'm going to have to do all the things for myself and another person, it's going to be a dog. At least the dog isn't capable of doing for himself, nor is he capable of being an ass to me.

[MrsYoungie]

Someone in the comments asked Lori to clarify about the "once a month request" rule. Here is her answer (warning: may cause nausea)

"Say a wife really would like her husband to hang up his towel after taking a shower so she tells him once. He keeps forgetting and leaving it on the floor so Ken thinks she should remind him once a month. I would encourage her to be a servant and just hang up the towel for him and forget about it. Don't let small things like this hurt your marriage. I had a friend whose husband was always late for dinner. He was very social and loved talking to people. For 30 years she has nagged, pouted and been angry with him about it. She needed to give it up long ago and just heat up his dinner when he came home and give him a big hug and kiss telling him how happy she was to see him.

Since the husband is the head of the home, he can make as many requests as he likes. He's the boss and the boss gets to run the show. Thankfully, most of us are married to very benevolent bosses and want their wives' opinions. But I know what Ken likes now and I try very hard to accommodate him in all of his wishes."

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

[Loveday]

Someone in the comments asked Lori to clarify about the "once a month request" rule. Here is her answer (warning: may cause nausea)

"Say a wife really would like her husband to hang up his towel after taking a shower so she tells him once. He keeps forgetting and leaving it on the floor so Ken thinks she should remind him once a month. I would encourage her to be a servant and just hang up the towel for him and forget about it. Don't let small things like this hurt your marriage. I had a friend whose husband was always late for dinner. He was very social and loved talking to people. For 30 years she has nagged, pouted and been angry with him about it. She needed to give it up long ago and just heat up his dinner when he came home and give him a big hug and kiss telling him how happy she was to see him.

Since the husband is the head of the home, he can make as many requests as he likes. He's the boss and the boss gets to run the show. Thankfully, most of us are married to very benevolent bosses and want their wives' opinions. But I know what Ken likes now and I try very hard to accommodate him in all of his wishes."

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Ugh. You and me both. I'd encourage the wife to just leave the damned towel on the floor. He'd get the message eventually. :roll:

I can't even with the 'he's the boss' crap.

[lizziesmom]

I am very much a 'pick your battles' kinda gal but Lori is the biggest doormat on the planet and also delusional if she thinks any of us believe Ken is a benevolent boss who wants his wife's opinion. He sounds like the biggest adult baby from her blogs.

[Black Aliss]

Lori is a fucking monster but Ken's an abusive fucking moron.

fixed it for you

[fakepigtails73]

The original post is reason # 25 928 why I hate Lori A. with a passion.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Maybe someone can send a comment written in the most flowery, Titus-2-y language possible that her posts are making her marriage look bad and see how she reacts.

If I survive the Justin Bieber concert tonight (I'm the mother of a 13 yr old girl), I'll get on it.

[littlemommy]

That Lori response makes me feel like I stumbled into a "how to interact with your Dom" discussion.

[Rainytown]

I recently posted the above paragraph on facebook and told Ken. He said that a wife should be able to make a request to her husband once a month if she wants something from him. I told him my life has been SO much better since I didn't expect anything from him.

She doesn't have a marriage. She has a roommate. I might also add that he'd pay a lot more on the open market for someone to cook, clean, cater to his every desire, etcetera. Perhaps she should start charging him.

If Ken believes that he should only be asked for anything once a month, it's time to get the pastor/marriage counselor involved. There's a difference between a "servant's heart" and a doormat. She doesn't respect herself, and he doesn't respect her, either. What's more, he's taking advantage and thinks it's his right.

I can't stand this woman. It makes me sick to my stomach to read her bullshit, carefully wrapped in the "correct" Bible verses and legalistic Christian dogma to explain her bad choices and her unwillingness to take responsibility for herself and her own happiness. If this is "submitting to one's husband", no thanks.

I make requests of my husband before we're even out of bed in the morning. He went to work, and I'm doing some research today on something we need a couple of opinions on before spending the money. Marriage is a give-and-take, but both parties contribute to the work the household generates. I am not a fashion model. I don't look like the woman my husband married anymore, but he tells me he loves me every day, and I do the same for him.

I know someone else who is enduring a marriage like Lori Alexander's, but she has small children. I've never met her husband, but I'm afraid I could not be civil to him if I did so. That isn't "Biblical marriage". It's guys like Mark Driscoll, who treat their wives like indentured servants.

And hey, Ken Alexander, I can't wait for the inevitable news to emerge that you're seeing someone outside of your primary relationship. Guys that do not have one kind or thoughtful thing to say to their wives have checked out of the relationship and are actively looking, if they haven't already hooked up with someone else.

[ADoyle90815]

One thing that I can say is that I'm so much happier since I divorced the abusive asshole I married. In fact, he was like Ken in that he considered too many requests to be "manipulation" as stopping by the store on his way home was too much of an inconvenience for him. Now, I'm with someone who wants an EQUAL partner, not a slave who isn't able to make requests more than once a month.

[Arete]

Nasty little hypocrite. "I am such a Titus2 wife I only make requests of my husband once a month, but my entire blog functions as a passive-aggressive expose so the world knows what an asshole I am married to." MighTee Christlike there, Lori.

[Koala]

From her facebook today:

As a married woman, you are to give your all when it comes to the sexual side of your marriage. And you are to give it freely, unashamedly, joyfully, heartily, regularly, purposing not to withhold this most precious gift ~ and right! ~ from your husband. {Elizabeth George}

Now sex is a man's "right". :pull-hair:

[dairyfreelife]

From her facebook today:

Now sex is a man's "right". :pull-hair:

Where's the Bible verse to back up that claim? I can't recall ever reading one about sex being a man's right. Do enlighten me, Lori the evil monster.

[Mama Mia]

Nasty little hypocrite. "I am such a Titus2 wife I only make requests of my husband once a month, but my entire blog functions as a passive-aggressive expose so the world knows what an asshole I am married to." MighTee Christlike there, Lori.

Exactly. When she isn't posting about abusing her kids because they are evil, she's posting about how awesome she is to put up with her husband the jerk. Personally I think she's a frustrated dominatrix.

[GeoBQn]

I once sent a comment about how in Judaism, sex within marriage is the woman's right, but she never posted it.

Lori clarifies the request ratio:

Courtney

I'm really curious about this once a month thing. Can you elaborate on what he means a little? What would an example of a request be? In contrast, how often should a husband be able to make a request to his wife?

Lori Alexander

Say a wife really would like her husband to hang up his towel after taking a shower so she tells him once. He keeps forgetting and leaving it on the floor so Ken thinks she should remind him once a month. I would encourage her to be a servant and just hang up the towel for him and forget about it. Don't let small things like this hurt your marriage. I had a friend whose husband was always late for dinner. He was very social and loved talking to people. For 30 years she has nagged, pouted and been angry with him about it. She needed to give it up long ago and just heat up his dinner when he came home and give him a big hug and kiss telling him how happy she was to see him.

Since the husband is the head of the home, he can make as many requests as he likes. He's the boss and the boss gets to run the show. Thankfully, most of us are married to very benevolent bosses and want their wives' opinions. But I know what Ken likes now and I try very hard to accommodate him in all of his wishes.

[cindyluvs24]

I am really glad this was about Lori and not you, Koala.

I was thinking the same thing.

[DarkAnts]

I find this whole post incredibly ridiculous considering that she recommends Fascinating Womanhood- THE manual for manipulating husbands

Fascinating Womanhood is now available on kindle incase anyone wants to read it.

[polabear]

I really only expect a few things from my husband. I expect that he loves asks respects me. I expect him and his son to try their hardest to not yell or bicker in front of me although I'm happy to help mediate arguments. I expect him to let me have some alone time and to let me be silly.

He really only expects a few things of me beyond love and respect. He expects me to not move his remote (we have two). He expects that I'll spend Friday nights with him and his son.

Anything else is gravy. We are both really good at letting things go. So in the sense that not expecting a lot from your spouse is a good way to live I agree with Lori. But it requires that there is respect and caring on both sides.

[Burris]

Nasty little hypocrite. "I am such a Titus2 wife I only make requests of my husband once a month, but my entire blog functions as a passive-aggressive expose so the world knows what an asshole I am married to." MighTee Christlike there, Lori.

This.

I don't know about Ken, but my own husband would be just a little pissed if I aired his dirty laundry - what there is of it - on a blog.

Lori makes Ken out to be a selfish asshole, and then she tells him about her posts so he’ll know to read: 'I used to want little things such as politeness from my husband, but I'm such a perfect Christian I no longer want to be treated like a human being by the father of my children. I am sooo happy!'