I am so much happier now that I accept what an ass I married

[ILoveJellybeans]

Pinching and pushing??? Are they five??

If their arguments result in physical violence (even if it is silly things like pinching), they need to either divorce or see a real marriage counsellor, not a complete monster who passive aggressively whines about her own husband being a douchebag on the internet. They should at least get advice from someone who actually has a happy marriage.

[nokidsmom]

Don't really follow all the idiocy that is Lori, but count me in as another who suspected that this thread was about her.

Do believe she posts what she does because she is freaking unhappy.

[wild little fox]

My mum divorced her husband who treated her like this. Now she's happily married to my stepdad in an equal partnership and their home is conflict free.

Same here. They created a much more stable home for us kids. My nephew has never known a violent home. I've had my share of bad relationships but those days are over.

I wish I could talk to the woman who posted the comment.

[dairyfreelife]

I sent a message to MBB, and I hope it is approved so she can read it. I am very concerned for her and her children, but I knew telling her to get the hell out would not be approved, so I wrote this...

I would suggest you see a marriage counselor. I am concerned for your safety, but that doesn't mean it can't be fixed. There are religious counselors, but even most 'secular' counselors want your marriage to work. Violent homes are very bad for children and increase the risk of drug and alcohol abuse and criminal behavior, not to mention that your daughters will likely end up in similar relationships. I want you and your children safe, so I hope you will seek advice outside of blogs and the internet and get some professional help before it escalates and gets out of control. I wish you and your family luck and hope life will get happier for all of you, including your husband.

[LynnJ0516]

And as usual doesn't realize it's talking about her in a negative way since that's exactly what she's doing. Ken comes across as a seriously egotistical asshole and I only know that from the words she writes about him. Her clueless-ness continues to astound me.

See I actually don't think she is clueless, I think she WANTS Ken to come across as an egotistical asshole so she can look more like a Godly/Saintly Wife by putting up with it all with her quiet meek humble spirit while she secretly fumes inside. I think she also wants to see if other women are in her same boat, and by all the Lori followers out there my guess is she found what she was looking for: a choir to preach to.

[dairyfreelife]

I sent a message to MBB, and I hope it is approved so she can read it. I am very concerned for her and her children, but I knew telling her to get the hell out would not be approved, so I wrote this...

I would suggest you see a marriage counselor. I am concerned for your safety, but that doesn't mean it can't be fixed. There are religious counselors, but even most 'secular' counselors want your marriage to work. Violent homes are very bad for children and increase the risk of drug and alcohol abuse and criminal behavior, not to mention that your daughters will likely end up in similar relationships. I want you and your children safe, so I hope you will seek advice outside of blogs and the internet and get some professional help before it escalates and gets out of control. I wish you and your family luck and hope life will get happier for all of you, including your husband.

Surprise...she didn't post my comment. I really want to know why because I really am concerned for mbb and her family and I don't think my comment was at all bad. I want her to safe and counseling can help.

[HoneyBunny]

Didja post it on Always Preaching? Didja? Didja? The thought of the monster just reading that (she'll never post it) makes my heart sooooo happy, I'm going to have a great day! Thanks!

She DID post it! She truly is clueless, isn't she? A moron and another moron...what a perfect couple.

I'm shocked her daughter lasted as long as she did.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Pinching and pushing??? Are they five??

If their arguments result in physical violence (even if it is silly things like pinching), they need to either divorce or see a real marriage counsellor, not a complete monster who passive aggressively whines about her own husband being a douchebag on the internet. They should at least get advice from someone who actually has a happy marriage.

Agreed. Those poor kids don't need to see parents who physically hurt each other. They need parents who get some professional help including some decent anger management classes, followed by learning some effective communication skills.

And yes, there are some people who simply should not be married to each other. I've done some divorces where the end result is simply relief, and where the people had a far better relationship when they no longer had to live together. The children benefited from a happier home as well.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Wow, she published my comment urging that poor woman to go to counseling - even though it was pretty much the same as a comment from another poster that was rejected.

Apparently, if you insert enough fundie code words, you can say anything.

[Koala]

She's plugging Debi Pearl's book again:

A couple of people called her on it in comments:

The book isn't for everybody. Just because it inspires some, doesn't mean if a lady doesn't wish to read or apply it's contents, she needs prayer. Mrs. Pearl is a person, not God. While I am sure she has inspired many and helped as much, remember that *her* words are not GOLD. The Bible is the best guide. My husband and I both read the book and didn't have negative feelings, but did not feel it was for us. We are married almost 29 years and our marriage has improved by God's love and grace...without applying the principles of this book. Maybe you can remember that if something impacts you, it may just be for you.

Lori's response:

I have seen many marriages dramatically improved and even saved through Debi Pearl's sound advice. She is the older women who taught us to love and obey our husbands, something most churches and specifically older women have dropped the ball on and don't teach and obey.

Men and women should only be encouraged to read the bible, nothing much else really matters as everything else is written by man and its only their interpretation of the Word of God, nothing more. I am no fan of the Pearls and wouldn’t recommend it to others so we shouldn’t be pushing books on people so forcefully at all. Just because she is a paster’s wife doesn’t make her more right than others and perhaps his man should be reading the bible together with his wife. Working in partnership with his wife.

Lori's response:

I have to disagree with you, Jo, since I was a student of the Word and I was still a bad wife. The Bible admonishes older women to teach the younger women to love and obey their husband and be keepers at home. Debi Pearl was my older woman, praise the Lord, who taught me to love and obey my husband.

I think it's important that we not make an idol out of any person or book. Only the Bible is the Bible. Yes, there are many other books out there that may provide valuable counsel, but even if they quote scripture, they are filtered through humans.

Sometimes, one person may find a book by another person compelling, while another person will not. It's a matter of individual preference and personalities. I'm a bit wary referring to a book written by a mere mortal as the TRUTH.

For example, I was greatly encouraged by a mother of 13 in my congregation. The little things that I found compelling - like the way that she invited my family of 5 to dinner that night and managed to have everything under control, calmly and quietly directing her children as they assisted, and having a peaceful dinner with no yelling, fighting or tension - spoke deeply to my heart, but they may not have the same effect on another woman. The books that she recommended and the approach that she took also quoted scripture, but were quite different in outlook from the Pearls.

[2xx1xy1JD]

BTW, that mother of 13 really exists.

I wonder how Lori would react to her (aside from thinking that she was doomed to hell for not being Christian). You know one of the things that I found impressive about her? I ran into her at the (women-only) gym. She put her toddler in their on-site child care, and then did a Nia class so she wouldn't be stressed out for Friday night dinner. Everyone was genuinely helpful and relaxed, and her husband didn't treat her like a child or slave. More importantly, her parenting philosophy was pretty much the opposite of the Pearls. They believed that the key to raising moral kids in today's world was to build a strong parent-child relationship and set a good example so that your child would want to follow your lead. She was against spanking, and downright horrified when I told her about the Pearls and their fans.