Shoshana Pearl's Wedding

[debrand]

nogreaterjoy.org/articles/the-wedding/

This is for those of you who have never read about Shoshana Pearl's wedding.

The groom’s father addressed the wedding attendees, disclosing to them that he had invested in his son, extolling all his skills of mountain climbing and rappelling, airplane piloting, wrestling, martial arts, etc., which no doubt ably prepared him to marry Shanna. It was funny, because it is so true. It took a MAN to win her.

and

She arrives on a horse

I sensed James starting to bolt—to run to her and scarcely restrained him with a quiet “Just stay here; she will come to you.â€

And

After kissing…and kissing…and…you get the idea, the two of them rushed back down the aisle to their waiting steed. They mounted together. This time she was folded in his arms and they rode out before us against the now crimson sky.

and

But the celebration was just starting. As the light from the many lamps began to replace the fading sun, we could smell the barbeque cooking. After we had all eaten, there was a pie auction with a real auctioneer. Everyone got into it. Some of the young guys paid as much as $95.00 for a blueberry pie. They raised several hundred dollars to help pay for the honeymoon.

and

S

hoshanna persuaded James to sing a love song to her while she slowly danced around him. Now, you know we don’t believe in dancing, as is commonly done at weddings, but this was beautiful. After James was well salivated, she reached up and passionately threw her flowered crown from her head. Hand in hand they ran across the hill to their waiting…no, not steed…car this time.

and

Postscript

None of my daughters or their husbands asked the state of Tennessee for permission to marry. They did not yoke themselves to government. It was a personal, private covenant, binding them together forever—until death. So when the sodomites have come to share in the state marriage licenses, which will eventually be the law, James and Shoshanna will not be in league with those perverts. And, while I am on the subject, there will come a time when faithful Christians will either revoke their state marriage licenses and establish an exclusively one man-one woman covenant of marriage, or, they will forfeit the sanctity of their covenant by being unequally yoked together with perverts. The sooner there is such a movement, the sooner we will have a voice in government. Some of you attorneys and statesmen reading this should get together and come up with an approach that will have credibility and help to impact the political process. Please contact me when you do and I will assist with publicity.

Michael Pearl

[ILoveJellybeans]

Sooooooooooooooooooo they are advocating Christians not getting marriage licenses because at some point in the future gay people will be allowed to marry? But the thing is, their relationship is equal to gay people (depending on where they live) as in places gay marriage isnt legal, gay people live as if they were married.

[lilith]

Salivating? Ew.

[wtylcf]

After kissing…and kissing…and…you get the idea, the two of them rushed back down the aisle to their waiting steed. They mounted together. This time she was folded in his arms and they rode out before us against the now crimson sky.

Oh my God. I don't think I've ever read a more sexually charged sentence describing a wedding than "They mounted together." AAAH. Well, I guess "after James was well-salivated, she reached up and passionately threw her flowered crown from her head," is equally salacious. SALIVATED. FLOWERED CROWN. If the next sentence were, "He threw aside her garments and took the blossom of her virginity," it would be entirely in keeping with the preceding. I feel dirty now.

[debrand]

Salivating? Ew.

Remember, her dad wrote that. :?

[debrand]

Oh my God. I don't think I've ever read a more sexually charged sentence describing a wedding than "They mounted together." AAAH. Well, I guess "after James was well-salivated, she reached up and passionately threw her flowered crown from her head," is equally salacious. SALIVATED. FLOWERED CROWN. If the next sentence were, "He threw aside her garments and took the blossom of her virginity," it would be entirely in keeping with the preceding. I feel dirty now.

And again, her father wrote that. :angry-screaming:

[wtylcf]

And again, her father wrote that. :angry-screaming:

When I "liked" this comment, I mean to imply that I am writhing inside at how fucked-up this all is. If my Dad wrote descriptions of my wedding like that, I'd assume there was something deeply wrong with him.

[JMarie]

Remember, her dad wrote that. :?

Yuck. I feel gross all over.

[Anise]

Well, at least Shoshanna's new husband didn't actually salivate and spit on her like Shalom's husband did.

[holierthanyou]

[OkToBeTakei]

Fundie porn.

[pixydust]

Well, at least Shoshanna's new husband didn't actually salivate and spit on her like Shalom's husband did.

Wait WHAT?!?!?

[Inky]

Sooooooooooooooooooo they are advocating Christians not getting marriage licenses because at some point in the future gay people will be allowed to marry? But the thing is, their relationship is equal to gay people (depending on where they live) as in places gay marriage isnt legal, gay people live as if they were married.

It is the equivalent of a child getting mad because other children want to play in the sandbox too...so they take their toys and go home.

[formergothardite]

I think regular dancing would have been better for the guest than whatever happened there. Watching someone dance to get their husband horny at a wedding would be very awkward.

[Justme]

Wonder if Christopher Maxwell photographed the wedding..... :whistle: I believe he has to "inspect" the marriage licence first... :think:

[Inky]

It sounds like they're moving closer and closer to hanging a bloodied sheet out the window the morning after the ceremony.

[applejack]

I hate that I share a state with these people. Granted, I'm way over here in the Northeast corner, but still too close for comfort for me.

[kpmom]

I hate that I share a state with these people. Granted, I'm way over here in the Northeast corner, but still too close for comfort for me.

Sharing a planet with these people is too close for comfort.

[Izzybee]

Question about the whole marriage license thing... Does that mean that they're not married in the eyes of the law? If so, that must be really hard to do. If not, then what's the point of anyone getting a marriage license?

[Black Aliss]

And again, her father wrote that. :angry-screaming:

Don't use it all. Lots of FJers gonna' need a splash:

[slickcat79]

Question about the whole marriage license thing... Does that mean that they're not married in the eyes of the law? If so, that must be really hard to do. If not, then what's the point of anyone getting a marriage license?

Yes, they're not married in the eyes of the law. I don't know what TN laws are re: common law marriage/domestic partnership, but I'm pretty sure you have to have lived together for a certain amount of time for that to be recognized. Then again, I'm sure James and Shoshana make it a point to live off the grid as much as possible. Wouldn't want people to think a Manly Man who lives up to Michael Pearl's example has become Uncle Sam's bitch or anything :roll:

[Coldest Winter]

I wonder how much sweet, sweet fellowship there was beforehand...

[nonymouse]

I just had this mental picture of Michael Pearl and Jessica Simpson's father going into a wedding planning business together. Please pass the brain bleach.

[ceg045]

I see that they're quite outspoken in their decision not to take part in any tradition that teh gayz do. May I just say, I fully support them in this endeavor and humbly offer some additional advice.

The, ahem, "sodomites" also breathe and eat. In solidarity with their noble heavenly goals, I strongly suggest that the Pearls immediately cease doing at least one of these activities ASAP. For the good of their souls, naturally.

[Beammeup]

Wonder if they commit tax fraud and file "married filing jointly"? Wonder if they have taken the other legal steps to ensure that the other can make the decisions normally that go to a legal spouse ie: medical care, end of life issues, custody of remains and burial, housing issues, etc. I doubt it.