"God loves ME more!"

[Cran]

I notice she left the part about the "nasty" woman "murdering" her baby out...

[mockingbird]

I notice she left the part about the "nasty" woman "murdering" her baby out...

Oh no that was a different miscarriage. I think they named him Samuel.

[Cran]

Oh. And I already started to think she got some sense into that skull of hers. Shouldn't have gotten my hopes up.

[Rowan]

If you don't have Jesus, it's impossible to be nice to a pregnant woman. Impossible! That's where our prayers for God's mercy are supposed to come in."

I just want to bitchslap them.

I worked my ass off for my sister when she was pregnant - knitting for the baby, planning and executing her shower, cleaning her house, research re: the medical issues of her high bp and the 36-weeker my niece almost was, not to mention essential having NO family christmas because her inlaws took over and she had to host and they did shit. So my mom and I were setup, catering, and cleanup crew. For THEIR celebration - I sat down for 3 hours on Christmas day, when we ate breakfast and when we opened presents. And I live more than an hour away.

And I sure a hell don't have Jesus. FSM maybe after dinner tonight, but holy crap are they full of themselves!

[Seven Severn]

Your wish is my command, Mylady:

http://freejinger.org/viewtopic.php?f=8 ... mmy+daniel

And here's the parody thread:

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=6016&hilit=Maranatha+Agape

[singsingsing]

I'm definitely noticing a pattern with Abigail in reading the comments on her blog.

1. She posts something ridiculous.

2. Someone in the comments respectfully disagrees with her.

3. Abigail flips out. If she's feeling particularly persecuted that day she deletes the offending comment before she posts something like this:

That sign is mean spirited and it kicks mothers of small children when they are down.

IT IS NOT OKAY TO BE MEAN TO POOR MOTHERS!

I'm not angry at the County Clerk, I think he's being mean to Mary, the Mother of Jesus. I don't have control over his behavior. I will speak out in charity to admonish a serious sin.

4. Her husband jumps in to defend her as well.

5. The person who made the original critical comment falls all over themselves apologizing and begging Abigail to forgive them.

I'm pretty much convinced now that her husband is as crazy as she is. I used to think, "Man, it must suck for him, he seems like a nice guy and she's kind of taking him along for a ride." Nope. He's nuts.

[Witsec7]

And here's the parody thread:

http://www.freejinger.org/viewtopic.php ... atha+Agape

Poor Maranatha Agape :lol:

[desertvixen]

The whole thing with the sign is NUTS, but sort of a refreshing change from the fundies who tell us about how awesomely behaved their brood of children is.

Sometimes she makes that tiny little bit of sense, but then yes, it's right off the tracks into crazy land:

When I was a new stay-at-home mother, I read all sorts of blog posts that cheerfully boasted I could easily feed a family of 17 for $6 a day. They made me cry! I couldn't do this "food genie" thing to make us eat yummy, healthy dinners on that tiny of a grocery budget. It wasn't until YEARS later that I started seeing all these hidden "tricks" to "Feed your family on $20 a week."

I'm with her here. But then she goes to this:

Now I like to cook, and I learned how to cook far more things from scratch as a stay-at-home Mom--but there was also this thing I was busy doing as a Catholic wife---having Mr. Benjamin's babies. And babies are hard! It's hard to be pregnant. It's hard to breastfeed. It's hard to soothe colicky newborns.

Leaving aside the obvious fact that I think it is more important to feed the kids you HAVE as opposed to worrying about having more, I love this hop onto the martyr train.

I'm really excited to write about this because I think deep down this is what everyone else is afraid of doing. Isn't that one of the reason no one has five kids? What happens when you screw up the money and you run out of cash before the end of the month?

No, the reason most of us don't have 5 kids is because we want to give the kids we do have a better life. Also, she didn't "screw up" the money, she made deliberate decisions to spend outside their limits, even though they're in a bad place because of the thunderstorms (which they couldn't control):

On Saturday, we spent 8 hours at a Divisional Swim Meet in another City. My Wal-mart bill on Friday was $77.26.

That bill included Friday dinner, treats for the Swim Meet, $20 cash of the meet concession stand, and (just so we're totally honest here) $21.00 for a bat man toy for my seven year old son who fell off his starting block at Friday morning's practice and was completely traumatized by the blood, the pain, and three large coaches spending a very long time bandaging his knee.

Then we spent $20 at Sweet Frog to celebrate the end of the Swimming Season.

So I could have had $127.26 to spend on groceries this week--which is a more normal number for us, but instead I'm down to $30.

I won't lie, I make indulgent shopping choices at times when it comes to my child. The catch, of course, is that I have only one child, and that I don't get indulgent when money is tight.

My husband is trying to get me off my obsession with making "money mistakes". I seriously spend so much of my life second guessing my purchasing decisions as a Mother. I constantly feel like I "screwed up" or let my family down. My husband has laid down a rule that I'm not allowed to do that anymore. I'm not allowed to feel bad that I bought my son a toy, or that we tried to feed six starving people on $50 during a long swim meet, or that we had a delightful time at Sweet Frog. My husbands new mantra is "we're going to live our life. We're going to do our best to make good decisions in the moment. We're going to trust God to do the rest."

And yes, he is either enabling or just as crazy.

[Lady_M]

My 10 year old son died of CF five weeks ago. I actually walked away from a friendship after he came home via adoption because the friend had markers for CF and her fifth child was extremely symptomatic but said friend was thrilled her toddler was so "tiny" and refused to EVER take her to the doctor, despite her foul poops and near constant respiratory infections. I flat-out told her the child needed tested and then had to assume the chances said child was a CFer was extremely high and keep my son away from them (CFers are supposed to never be closer than 4 feet from each other as they will share bacteria that they culture from their lungs between each other.)

No idea what she's talking about that she carries a severe mutation for CF and he carries a mild mutation for CF. I think what she means is that she carries one of the six most common mutations and he carries a lesser mutation. However, the presentation and life expectancy is NO DIFFERENT with that combination than a classic DDF508 such as my son, except DDs tend to have more severe GI issues than other mutation CFers. There are 1600 KNOWN mutation combinations for CF at this point. They are ALL deadly.

I despise people who so cavalier don't take precautions about having CF children. Life is torture as a CFer. Rare is the CF adult patient who thinks there's anything ethical about intentionally allowing a child with CF to enter this world.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[chaotic life]

I make bad money choices sometimes. I drain our funds between paydays (because no matter your income level with a large family it's tighter than most people).

Know what I have NEVER done? Not even in the two years we went back to school and lived with eight kids at half the poverty level for our family?

I have NEVER blown the grocery funds and left the kids without food to eat!

We did bring home a medical needs adoptee and end up spending grocery funds to get him to the doctor seven years ago, and we borrowed twice from family to cover groceries.

I may play games with the car payment, or other bills. I NEVER touch the grocery funds, not even when we were at our worst. Grocery money is sacrosanct. And, I've spent enough years shuttling kids to activities to know you do NOT need to spend the funds she spent on one Saturday's activities. If money is that tight, we get 2 loaves of bread, peanut butter, jelly and water bottles. If we have a tiny bit more, we'll buy a bag of apples or a mixed bag of chips. I've spent more than one weekend at a soccer tourney feeding my kids PB&Js and refilling their water bottles at the water fountains by the field house. It's reasonably healthy that way and the kids don't go hungry but I don't blow the entire grocery budget.

It's CRAP to say it's all okay that she blew the grocery money and *only* spent $50 to feed the family all day. I've taken a hot plate and a cooler of food for cooking into a hotel room before, but again I don't blow the grocery budget EVER. It's not okay to spend the money my kids need for FOOD. We've had periods of time when we've bought cheap processed foods and skipped the fruits and veggies. We've had times when we packed every morsel of food we went to activities with from home. We don't get all blase and say, eh, it's a good lesson to teach the kids that we can go hungry and survive.

HECK, I've had times when I drain my overstocked food partially due to tight funds and partially due to needing to rotate stuff out from the back of the pantry and the bottom of the chest freezer. However, my children always eat and always eat without fear they will ever go hungry!

[slickcat79]

I'm definitely noticing a pattern with Abigail in reading the comments on her blog.

1. She posts something ridiculous.

2. Someone in the comments respectfully disagrees with her.

3. Abigail flips out. If she's feeling particularly persecuted that day she deletes the offending comment before she posts something like this:

4. Her husband jumps in to defend her as well.

5. The person who made the original critical comment falls all over themselves apologizing and begging Abigail to forgive them.

I'm pretty much convinced now that her husband is as crazy as she is. I used to think, "Man, it must suck for him, he seems like a nice guy and she's kind of taking him along for a ride." Nope. He's nuts.

I haven't seen any post where hubby defends her on the blog, so I may be missing something, but I constantly wonder if she's not just making up everything he supposedly says to her. I find it odd that they both seem to find the same ridiculous things totally rational. Maybe they're just a match made in...somewhere.

[Witsec7]

I cannot deny that these parents are irresponsible. They justify it via their religious beliefs, it's all a sacrifice for jebsus and if you suffer enough in this lifetime you will have pie in the sky when you die. The one thing these people don't do is attempt to shelter their children from housing and food insecurity. These insecurities are brought to the fore when the mother selfishly photographs her empty cabinets and fridge, while justifying pizzing away the grocery money without a rational thought as to how to cope with a limited budget.

There were times when I was a single mother that food and housing insecurity kept me awake many a long night. Those insecurities didn't keep me from following a budget, saving to buy a small chest freezer and keeping a back stock of food in the cupboards. During these years my daughter would joke that we didn't have a Mormon closet we had a Mormon sofa, with cases of canned goods stashed under our living room futon couch.

I cannot respect her for her faith, I see a basic immorality in a parent that isn't willing to do what is necessary to provide the basics for their children. In this case the mother has a JD and is capable of earning sufficient funds to move her family from the brink of privation and yet is unwilling to do so in the name of her faith.

[desertvixen]

I cannot respect her for her faith, I see a basic immorality in a parent that isn't willing to do what is necessary to provide the basics for their children.

This. I think she pretty well sums it up herself when she talks about how in addition to her job as a mom, her job as a Catholic wife is to pop out babies.

[Witsec7]

This. I think she pretty well sums it up herself when she talks about how in addition to her job as a mom, her job as a Catholic wife is to pop out babies.

I was raised RCC and observed the poverty of mothers in the '50's who ascribed to this theory. My GM had 13 children that survived to adulthood. When the priest at my christening party mentioned that my mother would welcome more blessings after me my Grandmother cold cocked him.

riffle

[chaotic life]

I agree, when money was that tight in the years we were both in school, our children were 100% sheltered from food and housing insecurities. I am STILL recovering MY health from that period of time, but my children never had a CLUE what was going on.

Her post on blowing all of the grocery money and how great she did to feed her family of 7 on $50 for the day is REALLY bugging me. I've been navigating that exact scenario and girfriend needs some SERIOUS education on how to do this if she thinks what she did was good.

First, when your grocery budget is $130, you do NOT spend $20 on a toy for your child. If you feel you must buy something, they will be just as thrilled with quarters for the toy machine at the front of the store (more actually then they get a nifty container AND a toy and think they made out like a real bandit). Second, how does she manage to spend SO MUCH for this outing???

I have a family of 10 and unlike her, almost all of mine are now teens and pre-teens. Assuming I needed to cover 3 meals and snacks, this is what *I* would do.

1. 18 eggs (she can do 1 dozen though)

2. 1 package tortillas

3. tiny bit of cheese

4. 2 loaves of whole wheat bread

5. One large container of peanut butter

6. One container of jelly

7. One case of water bottles from a gas station (my kids lose water bottles and you can pick the generics up at a gas station for $5 usually already cold in the fridge, but I could elimtinate this if money was really tight).

8. 2 bags of apples (she can get buy with one)

9. One large case of animal crackers or goldfish

Now, I'm feeding a lot more than her, but you scramble the eggs the night before. If you have some cheese or salsa you can toss that in, otherwise just salt and pepper the eggs. Roll them into tortillas. If you have nothing else to put them in, then stash them in the plastic grocery bag from buying your supplies. If you have better options, I would use a gallon ziploc bag. In the morning, you zap those burritos as you leave the house and grab the water bottles.

Breakfast is burtitos and water.

The case of crackers/goldfish are snacks. You parcel them out slowly throughout the morning but don't let the kids near the lunch items.

At lunch, it's PB&J with apples. Again, only water. It's healthier and cheaper anyway.

The only exceptions to the water rule is an athlete if it's REALLY hot, and in our case the Cystic had to have Gatorade as well but he's gone now.

Even with my family size, we have left-overs form the 2 loaves of bread and likely from the burritos, though those should have been parceled out before the kids were permitted to crack open the snack.

All of that will cost you less than $30. There wil be left overs from both meals you can ad hoc for dinner for the kids. Mom and Dad will be hungry for dinner, but that's just the way things happen sometimes. If you get *really* desperate, you can get $5 off the $1 menu at McDonalds but it's pretty gross.

For $30-35, I just covered my entire family of 10 who are bigger than hers. So, I would think at max of $25 would feed her family the entire day.

THAT would have left her $100 for groceries for the week, which would have required some creativity but would have left NO children hungry or worried about a lack of food at any point.

If she were posting saying, I messed up. I thought I was doing well, but somehow I didn't. I need to re-figure out how to accomplish this then that would be one thing. But the whole, haha, I did the best I could and we're not going to dwell on it anymore is crap. DWELL ON IT. Dwell on it and reflect and realize that you do NOT need to spend that kind of money for food at events. You just don't.

Honestly, even when we're doing well financially, I always plan ahead to pack at least half of our meals myself. I'd rather they eat PB&J on whole wheat bread with fruit than fast food all three meals in a day. When we're not *really* tight we normally would pack breakfast and lunch and set aside funds to buy dinner afterward. If we were tight, it would be packed dinner and a park for free entertainment if necessary.

[chaotic life]

TBH, I am rarely so tight financially that I can't get the $6-7 bag of assorted chips at Walmart. Those and a soccer ball have saved many a day full of bored siblings for me. I would give up the water bottles from the gas station before I would give up the bag of chips just to keep them occupied. Even with that, I just fed my family of 10 full of teens for $40 for 3 meals plus snacks and she can't get lower than $50 for 7 with them SO young? Makes absolutely NO sense to me. Heck, I'm paying New England food prices and she's in W.Va even!

[pixydust]

How can someone with so many kids have no concept of money?!? I have 3, and I am a super tight wad!

Someone had an accident? That gets extra hugs and cuddles and watching a movie on Netflix in mommy's bed. Cost: Free

Chaotic already covered the food at the swim meet. (I live closer to her, Virginia, and here I could have fed her family like Chaotic suggested for $15).

I most definitely would have skipped the dinner out, too! (or whatever sweet frog is...is that an ice cream place? Whatever, my kids think it is the coolest thing when we buy ice cream at the store and eat it at home. I don't think they even know that ice cream places exist)

If I calculated correctly, I saved her enough to have spent $106 on groceries, enough to feed 7 people on for a week...you might make spaghetti twice that week for dinner, but everyone is eating!

[Coconut Flan]

I agree, she doesn't think.

I'm fortunate and know it. I finished college and graduate education before thinking of having children. Well she did that I think, but I didn't quit work and become a baby factory because I always wanted to be in a position to provide for my children if "something happened." That was drilled into me by my mother. She was right as the children's father is among the dearly departed and has been for years.

Even having more than adequate financial resources, I would never go to a sporting event dependent upon the dubious snack bar or local fast food places. I always take a cooler and a cloth bag of dry or stable food. I want more for my children than a quick hot dog or nachos. I would also never reward/bribe a child with a toy because of a sporting event issue much less by using a large chunk of a meager food budget. I could afford to do it and still wouldn't and that's why I find her appalling.

I do find her foolish and again probably because of my mother. I was taught to always, always have a week of shelf stable food and water onhand and a hibachi or other grill, large bag of charcoal, and lighter and "a little propane stove" tucked away because "in case of a hurricane or earthquake you have to be able to feed those babies."

I get she doesn't have the resources I have for my family, but she's capable of providing them and won't so no sympathy on that score. She spends foolishly and as chaotic life has more than amply shown could do 100 times better if she just planned and thought about it.

[singsingsing]

It's irresponsibility in the name of Jesus and "Mommy" Mary. She's obsessed with being a Carmelite, which apparently involves intentional poverty. Obviously if she's spending her money on fencing lessons and batman toys, she's doing something wrong. She's also taking huge risks by having more children, but that's all part of it for her. She loves to show off how much she's suffering. I think she also infantilizes herself to deflect responsibility. She just comes across as being so childish ("Mommy Mary", "You're hurting the baby Jesus!", "How does my amazingly wise stong wonderful husband put up with little old me!")...

[MrsKay]

Maybe I'm a mean mommy after all, but when my kids scrape their knees, they don't get toys that I can't afford - they get to pick a bandaid from my stash, ointment, and they get lots of hugs and kisses. I make sure I have funds set aside to splurge on toys on holidays and birthdays, the last day of school (they're too excited about new clothes, backpacks etc. on the first day to notice anything else), and major life events - those are things like surgery, a new sibling, etc. We can't take our older son to Walmart without the autistic tantrum from hell, so we divide and conquer - one goes to Walmart, one looks after the kids at home. He likes to go grocery shopping with his dad, and he knows now that he can get something from the dollar store OR a treat from the candy rack at checkout, but only after he picks something out for whatever other kids are at home (trying to get the sharing and thinking about others thing down). Kids need to see adults making responsible choices, and to learn that it's not okay to blow your money and starve your family or skip bill paying. Her kids don't have a hope in hell of learning how to manage money or a home.

[smores]

I have one kid, I'm a WAHM and between my husband's income and my own, we're the kind of people who you would never suspect to make homemade, etc. I STILL am cheap as hell about things... I can and freeze my own produce, stock up on close-dated meat, if milk is on sale i buy and freeze, I make my own bread once a week so we don't go through bread as fast (we buy for sandwiches, but use that bread for toast and other things), and all kinds of other things.

It could have cost her about $1 to throw in two loaves of bread into the oven the night before the meet, and she could have sliced one up and with 8 or so eggs, a pinch of cinnamon, pinch of sugar and a little milk, made french toast sticks - easy to transport and the kids love them. For snacks, since this was last week and I'm reasonably close to her, enough to assume grocery prices, she could have bought a $5 bag of grapes and a $2.50 box of cheez-its for snack. For lunch, $2 bag of carrots and with the second loaf, made PB&J sandwiches.

Assuming the cost of eggs is $1, that she had at least flour, milk, cinnamon and sugar on hand, yeast $.50, $5 for grapes, $2.50 for cheez its, $3 for peanut butter, $2 for carrots and $1 for jelly, that's just $15. Even if they wanted to eat dinner out, 2 $5 Little Caesar's pizzas puts them at $25. And if she didn't want to make the bread, that's just $2.50 for two loaves at the store. Not exactly a budget buster.

But if she did that, she couldn't be a martyr, so... yeah. Guess the expensive stuff was worth it to her!

[smores]

Oh, and I mention all the "cheap" things I do because I do those either while I'm at the store already, during naptime or at bedtime. I don't have all the time in the world either but I sure as hell don't like wasting money on ridiculous things like a batman toy for a scraped knee.

[mockingbird]

I don't even have kids and I would be packing my own food for that type of thing - vending machines and snack bars are expensive! I still pack my lunch for school if I'll be there all day. I bought a bunch of boxes of individually wrapped snacks/snack bags (Goldfish, cookies, granola bars, etc.) and I bring those to school for snacks. She could do the same thing and it would still cost less than buying them individually at a snack bar.

[Arete]

I have barreled up and down the East Coast as a kid and have driven cross country as an adult, and I do not get this woman's food choices on the go AT ALL. Make friends with a cooler. Be a slut and make friends with two. You buy friggin' popcorn kernels in bulk, and pop and bag them the night before. You boil 1 pound of chickpeas in salted water. Drain them, let them dry, pack them. The are finger snacks as well as food, no to mention a damn good protein and fiber source. Buy a bag of apples, bunches of bannanas, whatever makes most sense in your area. Get raisins in bulk. chaotic life covered bread, peanut butter, jelly, and water. Make hummus from some of those chickpeas. Cut up carrots and celery stick. Use your head instead of your uterus for a change and THINK about how to feed you family.

Also, what is up with that "Mommy Mary" business! I know a LOT of practicing Catholics, the oldest being 93 and the youngest a few months old. I have heard them say Our Lady, The Blessed Mother, the Virgin Mary, the Lord's Mother. I am Eastern Orthodox and definitely have no issues with the Theotokos or the Virgin Mary as we call her. I have NEVER heard the mother of Jesus refered to as "Mommy" by those who venerate her. It is just creepy and wrong and makes me want to bleach my brain for some reason. This woman is straight up off her rocker and irresponsible to boot. People should pray her womb closes so she doesn't bring a CF kid into the world, if she hasn't already.

[pixydust]

It's irresponsibility in the name of Jesus and "Mommy" Mary. She's obsessed with being a Carmelite, which apparently involves intentional poverty. Obviously if she's spending her money on fencing lessons and batman toys, she's doing something wrong. She's also taking huge risks by having more children, but that's all part of it for her. She loves to show off how much she's suffering. I think she also infantilizes herself to deflect responsibility. She just comes across as being so childish ("Mommy Mary", "You're hurting the baby Jesus!", "How does my amazingly wise stong wonderful husband put up with little old me!")...

I have a question about this for the Catholics here. Can't she and her husband keep there personal level low (fewer clothes and personal possessions , no "fun" foods or eating our or whatever) while still providing for their kids? The Catholic church wouldn't expect the kids to live in poverty, too, would they?