Lori Alexander 33: Counting Everyone's Calories

[Loveday]

Most of the year, housework takes me about an hour, maybe two, a day. That includes cleaning up the kitchen after meals, and keeping the laundry caught up. The only time I do deep cleaning is around a holiday or when I'm expecting overnight guests. I've been cleaning like a madwoman for the past week or so, as my mother is staying overnight Wednesday and Thursday for Thanksgiving, and I'm doing the big meal for the extended family. So I want everything to be immaculate, which seems to take hours and hours longer to achieve now that I'm older.  The good thing is, I won't have much to do for Christmas as we're not filthy people--I vacuum my carpets a bit more often than Lori does!-- and everything should stay fairly clean between now and then.  

So once my current cleaning frenzy is over, it will be back to my slothful, evil feminist ways. I'll do another deep clean just before Easter. 

 

Edited to add that I'm so pleased to finally be at 2500 posts. I've been wanting to hit the Pearls with some of their own plumbing line for years!

[TeddyBonkers]

Lori today:

Quote

“In 2013 researchers from Washington University in St. Louis studied data from 200,000 married couples in Denmark. They found that when women earned more than their husbands, they were more likely to use anti-anxiety medications and more likely to suffer from insomnia. One might conclude from this study that women, as a rule, aren’t wired to be providers.”

Me, today:

Quote

Women whose moms worked outside the home are more likely to have jobs themselves, are more likely to hold supervisory responsibility at those jobs, and earn higher wages than women whose mothers stayed home full time, according to research by Kathleen McGinn and colleagues.

source: hbswk.hbs.edu/item/kids-benefit-from-having-a-working-mom 

(If that did not break the link, plz fix, mods)

The point of this? If you want a study to confirm your beliefs, you can find one. Do what works best for YOU and your family. No two family units are exactly the same. What works for Lori doesn't work for everyone. For example, I married for love, not to have a sugar daddy.

[usmcmom]

Let's take a look at this wall-o-lies; shall we? First, Lori is minimizing the role of stay at home mothers by using the word "just" before the term.  Why qualify THE MOST IMPORTANT ROLE IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD with such a word? 

Second, the latter underlined part is not quite true. Ken was NOT on board with Lori's desire to be a stay at home mom until they had two children. He clearly did not care if she was home with their first one or not. Seems to me Ken was not on board at all and had to be convinced. And by convinced, I mean deceived. 

Holes in the diaphragm, anyone??

i think Ken would have been very happy with Lori working even with four children at home. Lori always gets her way, remember? 

[Frog99]

Today’s post idea came from a post that Lindsay made on her page. I have no trouble recognizing that the assertions shared are the ones that fit whatever narrative runs through their heads. 

She and her readers need to step out of their echo chamber. 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

@usmcmom Yup and here is the screenshot to prove it. 

 

[Frog99]

I also don’t know where she gets the notion that the women in dental and medical school are taking jobs away from men. My region is identified as a healthcare shortage area (medical, ob-gyn, dental, mental health) by HRSA. That’s a federal designation. I would bet that most of her readers also reside in HRSA designated healthcare shortage areas with significant underserved populations. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I too am an evil feminist with a full time job, and somehow manage to keep my house clean, the laundry done folded and put away and cook dinner from scratch nearly every night.   By that I mean 27 days out of 30 --Chinese take-out is the bomb sometimes. I also make lunch on the weekends when we're both home,  With  all this I manage to read, do crafts, tend my houseplants, and watch old movies and Netflix/Amazon series  with Mr Dress.

Granted Mr. Dress helps and does all the grocery shopping/errands -- I'd rather have a root canal than do either.  But ...... it doesn't take hours every day (more like 30 min) nor all weekend long to be "a keeper at home." So I cannot figure out why Lori and the leghumper fangirls think it does.

For those of you raised fundie/ fundie-lite would you give us some insight on this idea that housework/ cooking takes 7-8-10 hours a day?

 

 

[Free Jana Duggar]

1 hour ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

 

For those of you raised fundie/ fundie-lite would you give us some insight on this idea that housework/ cooking takes 7-8-10 hours a day?

 

 

I wasn't raised fundie, but my guess is it takes that long to clean because they have eleventy children and are also trying to homeschool.  I imagine it is hard to keep a house clean when you  hardly leave the house, and have that many people in the home constantly making a mess, you never really get caught up.  It's kinda hard to mop a floor with a one AND two-year old running around. You can't clean and watch toddlers properly.

If the children go to school and both parents work, no one is at home making a mess so it's easy to keep clean. When I stayed home with my kids, we went places (to the park or to play at the play area in the mall) so we weren't home destroying the house. I also did not fix a hot meal for lunch unless it was to heat up leftovers. Most of the time I cheated with sandwiches and paper plates for easy clean up.

[AuntKrazy]

12 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

 

@AuntKrazy Love your post on the Greek! Would you mind telling me what you used for the translation or did you use a website? I'd like to see if my school library has it if its a book because that stuff fascinates me. 

Sarah,

I begin with Net.bible.org - because it is a good tool and it pretty easy to understand.  It is an evangelical/conservative site, but maintained by scholars - so I tend to think it's a good resource to use with the fundamentalist crowd as they can't dismiss it as "the opinions of liberals/atheist/_________".

[fundamentallyfearless]

“Fundie housework taking forever” has a simple answer. It does take forever. My husband’s family cleans non-stop but nothing ever gets fully clean because they farm and do lots of fundie-type stuff. There were 12 kids total and so cleaning up after all of them did indeed take forever, especially when gardening in the mud and whatnot. I think cooking and doing dishes takes them the longest and some fundie families don’t use dish washers (like my in-laws)

[EowynW]

I was raised to think it's an all day full time job thing too. It isn't, really. My fundie family taught me that you'd have more time to learn to and then do sewing, crafts, etc but it sounds like such a dull life to me. If I'm home full time I want to be out and dirty with the animals and land. Building it up for a purpose. 

And thanks for thinking we aren't crazy, guys! I really love this place. It's given me a safe space. 

We are serious about that little house on land. We were in town earlier this morning brainstorming about how to convert cabin buildings into small houses. 

[Koala]

@EowynW (replying to your comment from yesterday)

No, it's the opposite of selfish!  It would be selfish if you purposefully brought children into a situation where you were not ready for them.  It would be selfish if you had children because Lori Alexander/the church/your parents tell you that having children is what is commanded of you (whether you are ready or not).  It would be selfish if you ALREADY HAD children and then decided to adopt a "us first" mentality.  

It sounds like you and your husband have a plan for your future.  Don't let anyone guilt you into their plan.  They have their own lives for that...this is your show.  

[EowynW]

[Loveday]

Way to place the blame, Lori. You might as well have said, "It's all YOUR fault you have anxiety."

Just when I think she can't possibly get more rude and snotty...she does.  

 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Remember Lori says we can choose to be happy. just like we can choose to love jerk husbands, and we can choose to get over sexual and emotional abuse. 

Conversely we can choose to have anxiety.  So Mary G just needs to "choose" to stop having 'medical' anxiety.

Of course if she took her medication it would be a whole lot easier, maybe some therapy too.  But what do I know ... I"m a evil feminist with a career who believes in vaccines and necessary medication.  

[delphinium65]

44 minutes ago, Loveday said:

Way to place the blame, Lori. You might as well have said, "It's all YOUR fault you have anxiety."

Just when I think she can't possibly get more rude and snotty...she does.  

 

She might sing a different tune if she experienced a bout of severe depression, just up to the point of suicidal ideation. Maybe, just mayyyyybe she would have a tiny grain of compassion for others afterwards. Or maybe it wouldn't make any difference at all. This is Lori we're talking about, after all. 

[Georgiana]

Well if God is looking for Job 2.0, I would like to nominate Lori as a great candidate.

Also, if this time God would like to LEAVE her in the whale belly, I would be completely in support of that revision.  

Edit: I would also support Lori being turned into a LITERAL pillar of salt which would actually work really well since she's metaphorically saltier than the Dead Sea about everything.

[SueEllenMishke]

1 hour ago, EowynW said:

Thank you for getting this! I wanted to screen shot it earlier but got busy. Just when you think she can't get more haughty and condescending to her supposed "sisters." I was honestly shocked when I read her response. 

[desertvixen]

@Frog99, not sure where they get the idea that women are taking all the mens' jobs but the claim has been made since the 1920s and 1930s...

[quiversR4hunting]

@EowynW have you thought of a steel home by Kodak or Morten Builders? These buildings have residential electrical, HVAC, plumbing etc. architectural plans. The entire plan is meant for human occupation. Here is a 900sq ft plan by Kodiak. They say this is one of the most economical to build. http://m.kodiaksteelhomes.com/site/models/39?imz_st

[Sarah92]

Soooo..... I took a look at the research studies Lori attempted to use. The first one she doesn't even have full access to unless she paid for it and has a login to Sage journal which I doubt she did or has. Heck, I wasn't even able to access it through my school database. Therefore, she didn't even read the entire study, what she did read was the abstract. So at this point, we can't really pinpoint whether or not the study is actually a good study. That's a big no, no. 

I read through the summary of "Men who earn less than their women are more likely to cheat" and the abstract of the other. Both of these studies suggest something much different than what she is preaching. The last line of the abstract states, "Our results suggest that social norms play important roles in dictating how individuals respond to upward social comparisons" (Pierce, Dahl, & Nielsen, 2013). Both studies from what I was able to read suggest that perception of what social roles should look like affect behavior. Neither seems to be saying that this is a biological aspect but rather a mental aspect. It would appear, that men perceive themselves to need more sexual conquests or to be more manly because they believe what society tells them a man looks like. This is what Lori preaches so it would seem that she actually helps perpetuate this dysfunction. 

A more feminist/ a version that actually respects men would say that how much you make doesn't define who you are as a person or man. Rather your heart and dedication to what you do is important. That manliness is not made up how many women you have sex with but how many you respect and love as human beings. 

[SuperNova]

6 hours ago, EowynW said:

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that there's a good chance Lori suffers from bouts of anxiety and depression herself. Although I think she takes shelter in her illnesses, there's no doubt that she's had some fairly serious and disruptive health problems. Ken hasn't shown himself to be very helpful or sympathetic to his wife. Remember the soup incident? Anxiety can cause control issues, anger, and even "illness behavior".

I definitely take issue with her for denying the validity of anxiety stemming from health problems because it's my life. It's very easy to be hard on myself for not being able to do everything I would like. It's anxiety-inducing when simple tasks are overwhelming and sometimes I struggle with self worth. I am surrounded by supportive people who love me for who I am, not how many dishes I can wash and I still have days when it's hard to cope. Without a loving partner, a support system, or healthy coping tools, I can see how a woman like Lori has become so bitter. I just wish she would keep it to herself. Some of her followers seem so fragile.

[KatBonD]

14 hours ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

@usmcmom Yup and here is the screenshot to prove it. 

 

@AlwaysDiscerning This is in her book too. So, if she were to ever scrub her old blog post of this "hilarious" story, it's still in writing in her book.

[SueEllenMishke]

So Lori' s post today...she claims her mom got cancer because she used nail polish and nail polish remover...

I'm gonna need some time to process this before I have thoughts 

[Frog99]

9 minutes ago, SueEllenMishke said:

So Lori' s post today...she claims her mom got cancer because she used nail polish and nail polish remover...

I'm gonna need some time to process this before I have thoughts 

Same.

Does this have something to do with being keepers AT home? 

In other news, the Junia Project shared a quote from Sarah Bessy. Very well articulated thoughts about patriarchy within the church.