Another Pearl Article On Training Babies

[Effie]

I wonder if Melissa has naturally such serious lack of empathy and compassion, or if she is suffering from a postnatal depression. Anyway, I tried to reach her. I wanted to give her some advice, but she declined it with the following motivation: "..." :roll: (I'm slightly curious what she could see in my blog, since it's mostly a blog with pictures... a rainbow-coloured sheep maybe?)

Oh I felt so furious I had a difficult time answering in a polite way! She condemns what I have to say, before even hearing what I have to say! If it's true that she has flicked her baby as hard as possible, I think she should take advice from other people. How can a grown-up person be this stubborn? Does she really believe that what she is doing, is working?

[holothuroidea]

I wonder if Melissa has naturally such serious lack of empathy and compassion, or if she is suffering from a postnatal depression. Anyway, I tried to reach her. I wanted to give her some advice, but she declined it with the following motivation: "From what I can see from you blog, it appears that you don't share my belief that the Bible is absolute truth and thus governs our lives. So, I don't think your opinion is going to be helpful to me. But thank you anyway!" :roll: (I'm slightly curious what she could see in my blog, since it's mostly a blog with pictures... a rainbow-coloured sheep maybe?)

Oh I felt so furious I had a difficult time answering in a polite way! She condemns what I have to say, before even hearing what I have to say! If it's true that she has flicked her baby as hard as possible, I think she should take advice from other people. How can a grown-up person be this stubborn? Does she really believe that what she is doing, is working?

:( It was very admirable to try to reach out to her. I'm sorry your hand got burned, though. That really sucks.

I wish there was something to do for the poor little baby. :(

[dawbs]

Honestly, I'm pretty horrified by a mother who thinks it's a good idea to "flick" a newborn. The Pearls are beyond redemption, IMO, but how can a woman be so lacking in maternal instinct as to purposely hurt her NEWBORN in order to prevent developmentally-appropriate behavior?

On my kidest day, I think it's because they honestly think that the behavior is bad for them. Really.

It's like me taking my kid in to be vaccinated--she hates it. It makes her cry. It's miserable all around. Since she got stitches in January, she FLIPS at the sight of scrubs/white coats. Like screams until she's purple. It sucks.

But I go in anyhow because I think the few hours of her hating me is better than her dying of a preventable disease.

The kindest take I can have on some of the 'flick' is that they honestly think they're 'vaccinating' the child against a life time of 'acting bad' or eternal hell.

(Although, I dunno...I didn't flick my almost-2-year old when she tried to intentionally grind a goldfish cracker into the carpet w/her shoe--I took away the goldfish. Which I think was worse for her--she went limp, threw herself on the floor and screamed while kicking her feet. And I tried not to laugh)

[ilovetchotchkes]

Here's the thing. I'm one of those people who would get annoyed if a toddler disrupted my enjoyment of a sermon every week, not because the kid's not being forced to behave but because the kid's being forced to sit through something they get no benefit from in such a way that everyone loses out. There's a reason most churches have a creche for infants and toddlers. It lets them play and explore in a way that's suitable for their age without disrupting the service.

See, my 2 year old sometimes sits through, sometimes he doesn't. So what happens is, we take him out if he starts making noise. I would take him to the nursery instead at the beginning but he clearly enjoys it especially the songs, he just can't sit still for an hour. He usually makes it about 3/4ths of the way through. So, we just adapt. I mean, I don't force him to sit still, that just SERIOUSLY makes it worse. I do my best to be considerate to the other folks at the service. I actually REALLY miss nursing because that was the #1 way to keep him quiet the whole time.

[alba]

See, my 2 year old sometimes sits through, sometimes he doesn't. So what happens is, we take him out if he starts making noise. I would take him to the nursery instead at the beginning but he clearly enjoys it especially the songs, he just can't sit still for an hour. He usually makes it about 3/4ths of the way through. So, we just adapt. I mean, I don't force him to sit still, that just SERIOUSLY makes it worse. I do my best to be considerate to the other folks at the service. I actually REALLY miss nursing because that was the #1 way to keep him quiet the whole time.

It sounds like you have a sensible approach :) Every child is different, and I don't think children should be prohibited from the service, just that if they're disruptive they shouldn't be forced to sit there. It's not fair to them, and it's not fair to the rest of the congregation. It's the parents who ignore the bored and restless child that bother me ;)

[TXDuck]

Some of the memories that his kids have written about him make it appear that he was obsessed with protecting them from sexual abuse. He didn't let the kids go on any sleepovers, for instance.

I have a more cynical take on this. I've seen other fundies use "protect kids from abuse" as a reason to ban sleepovers. However, I think it's more likely that they don't want to risk having their abuse exposed. Can you imagine what a normal parent would make of the Pearls' "training"? I know that if one of my kids' friends expressed such a story, I'd call CPS and probably stall returning the child as long as I could. They don't want to risk that, so no sleepovers*.

*Sleepovers provide a lot of time for non-family members to interact with a kid, much more than visiting for an afternoon or taking them to movies.

[hoipolloi]

I have a more cynical take on this. I've seen other fundies use "protect kids from abuse" as a reason to ban sleepovers. However, I think it's more likely that they don't want to risk having their abuse exposed. Can you imagine what a normal parent would make of the Pearls' "training"? I know that if one of my kids' friends expressed such a story, I'd call CPS and probably stall returning the child as long as I could. They don't want to risk that, so no sleepovers*.

*Sleepovers provide a lot of time for non-family members to interact with a kid, much more than visiting for an afternoon or taking them to movies.

Totally agree. One wonders what other people would learned about the Pearls' family life & treatment of their kids had the Pearl children had normal interactions with their peers & their peers' families.

Michael Pearl is obsessed with sex, and it shows in nearly everything he's written about his child training abuse methods.

[guidedbybobafett]

I know this has been said in every way possible already but this is so disgusting and horrifying to me that I think I'm going to cry. I've consistently tried to avoid anything connected with the Pearls because the little I have heard is incredibly repugnant, but this is terrifying. Your baby is touching your necklace and you're supposed to physically harm them?! BECAUSE THEY'RE CURIOUS?! I can't imagine that this doesn't have incredibly devastating effects on development. This is no God I've ever heard of.