Practical Lessons to Learn Before Marriage

[dairyfreelife]

I don't know if this has been posted already.

Learn to not spend money. I know, I know...you are probably thinking, "What do we do then??? We have to spend money to live.'' That's not what I'm saying...learn to not spend money on every little whim. When you're single, this is so easy to do.

I really hate this perception that women just want to spend money and often do it on a whim. Such bull. I'm single and I don't think I ever spend money on a whim. I know perfectly well how to not spend money and live simply and save. It's not to help with marriage either. It's life as a single college student trying to make ends met.

Learn at least one family get-together/company meal that you can prepare super well and easy. This is a must!

A total must. A lady must know how to cook for a crowd when she has her baker's dozen worth of kids.

Learn to use a sewing machine.

No man wants a lady who can't sew.

Learn simple meals. Macaroni and cheese is great out of a box every now and then, but if that's all you can do, girl, you are going to have one hungry man!

Way to a man's heart is through his stomach so feed your man. Kraft Mac n Cheese is worthless! He wants a home cooked meal.

Learn to iron!

Here in the states, ironing is rarely necessary, but of course all men want fully ironed underpants.

isaiah4120.blogspot.com/2012/04/practical-lessons-to-learn-before.html

Learn to plan a menu.

Which is so hard you must learn it before and not after marriage.

Learn to use coupons.

I only use coupons occasionally. I've found that generic Wal-Mart brands are much cheaper than using a coupon for a name-brand and it's usually for bulk items, which I don't have any use for since I live alone. It's only when I need a name-brand or more expensive items that I look for savings when I can.

Cultivate a talent.

Which sounds nice and she mentions using that talent, like giving piano lessons, to earn extra money. But she ruins it by talking about using such a talent to futher hubby's dreams instead of your own.

Things like teaching music, sewing, quilting, making soap, babysitting can all be done at home.

I babysat in high school. I don't make soap, quilt or sew and don't have a lick of musical talent. Any man who marries me will have to accept that.

Learn to be around children and babies.

Start practicing early for the quiverfull life of house-keeping and child-rearing.

Learn to drive

Which is good, but I know a couple women who can't because of seizure disorders, nearly blind and such. I know men like this too.

isaiah4120.blogspot.com/2012/04/practical-lessons-to-learn-before_16.html

[Loveday]

"Learn to use a sewing machine."

Well, I suppose my 25-year marriage is doomed to eventual failure, then. I don't sew. :doh:

[constantgardener]

I am ashamed to say ... (covers face in embarassment) ... I do iron my husbands underwear. :oops: In fact, I iron everything except socks and towels. I am the perfect wife.

[Anise]

I.e. Ways in which to occupy oneself while waiting for The-One-God-Has-In-Store-(Stock)-For-You.

[FireIsCatching89]

"Learn to use a sewing machine."

Well, I suppose my 25-year marriage is doomed to eventual failure, then. I don't sew. :doh:

Guh, nice to know my parent's 33 year old marriage is headed down the shitter, too. Also, my mom can't cook or menu plan for shit- that's Dad's job. Mom does the landscaping and vacuuming.

My mom's advice on marriage? Get different bars of soap. Hubby sucks at not leaving hairs in the Leaver 2000.

[Loveday]

I.e. Ways in which to occupy oneself while waiting for The-One-God-Has-In-Store-(Stock)-For-You.

[samurai_sarah]

Sounds like "How to be a Victorian Lady, who's going to be completely lost if ever she needs to make a living on her own" 101. No offense to Victorian ladies, I just consider most of the practical stuff (learn to how to cook/clean/do laundry/wash your dishes/save yourself from basic food poisoning etc) to be fairly essential for men AND women. It mostly falls under "Being an independent adult" 101 for me. Although I can't use a sewing machine to save my life...

[dairyfreelife]

I am ashamed to say ... (covers face in embarassment) ... I do iron my husbands underwear. :oops: In fact, I iron everything except socks and towels. I am the perfect wife.

Don't be. If you want to do that, that's up to you. As long as you do it because you want to and not because you're supposed to do that as a wife.

I.e. Ways in which to occupy oneself while waiting for The-One-God-Has-In-Store-(Stock)-For-You.

Love. :clap:

[ElphabaGalinda]

Some of these things seem like things you should learn before adulthood... like cook, drive, budget. But most of those things are just things to keep you busy so you don't question how horrible life with your headship really is. If you learn to do all that and have to, you'll be too busy to consider leaving.

[clibbyjo]

I do the opposite of everything she says to do or not do. I have been married 20 years. :dance:

I always buy stuff on a whim, that is nothing new and its not going to stop. My husband is worse than me,he is not allowed to go any stores alone because even the kids know he will buy useless shit and waste money.

[TVR]

I think some of those things are valuable for MEN AND WOMEN before they leave home.

Having said that, I can't sew and I have no desire to learn. I cannot iron, but my husband can, so all it good.

[Loveday]

My mom's advice on marriage? Get different bars of soap. Hubby sucks at not leaving hairs in the Leaver 2000.

Okay, now that cancels out my lack in the sewing department. Hubby and I have always had different bars of soap! :lol:

[sugaree]

All this work-at-home stuff...does anybody else realize how hard it is to sew or write while caring for an active toddler or three? And what is the stay-at-home music teacher supposed to do with her 4:30 piano student if at 4:35 the baby needs fed, the two-year-old needs changed, and the four-year-old has discovered that crayons fed into the radiator grooves melt in the most spectacular patterns?

Work at home is great, but it's going to be damn hard until the kids are old enough to entertain themselves for an hour or two. Or, I guess, until the older kids are capable enough for the babies to be foisted off on.

[TVR]

Sugaree, you make a good point. We have a large family (8 kids), we homeschool, and I have a home business (I'm a photographer, a decent one at that, LOL). I limit my sessions to 2-3 a month, I usually only shoot on weekends, and I answer business emails early in the morning before dh leaves for work. I do my editing/marketing/ordering/packaging/blogging etc. etc. etc. once the kids are in bed. There is no way I could work much during the day.

[currywurst]

I think some of those things are valuable for MEN AND WOMEN before they leave home.

Having said that, I can't sew and I have no desire to learn. I cannot iron, but my husband can, so all it good.

I agree, most of this is just basic advice for taking care of yourself. ALL PEOPLE - did you hear that fundies? - need to know how to cook basic meals and budget. What if your wife dies? Everyone needs life skills.

BTW, I know most of you laugh, but I got a cheap sewing machine about ten years ago, taught myself to use it, and it has come in handy on numerous occasions. It truly is one of those skills that most people do not have, but that I think most people could benefit from.

[emmyfair]

With regards to the whole "cultivate a talent" bit - I make soap, sew, knit, and a million other crafty things. You know what? It's a total money drain, and I have to be really careful, I have some expensive hobbies. What I earn in return took a long time to balance the books. I needed regular sales to make things worth it, so trying to earn money from crafting takes dedicated effort, not just whenever hubby says it's ok.

[bananacat]

I think the best lesson to learn before marriage is to live on your own. I would never, ever even consider marrying a man who had never lived alone. If both people live on their own and have to be in charge of literally everything to keep their small household running, they will learn more lessons that way than from any condescending advice.

[dairyfreelife]

With regards to the whole "cultivate a talent" bit - I make soap, sew, knit, and a million other crafty things. You know what? It's a total money drain, and I have to be really careful, I have some expensive hobbies. What I earn in return took a long time to balance the books. I needed regular sales to make things worth it, so trying to earn money from crafting takes dedicated effort, not just whenever hubby says it's ok.

It is. I crochet. I do it for fun, but it's very time consuming. I find it hard to keep with my part-time jobs and college. I can't imagine trying to make things and run a business at home while caring for an infant and maybe a toddler and preschooler as well and your husband won't take care of the children ever because he's too old. Nothing wrong with a talent, except that the article was about helping your husband instead of about your interests. If you want to sew or make soap or whatever, there's nothing wrong with that. Telling women they need to "cultivate a talent" for their husbands is a little bothersome. Talents are good. When it's to please someone else, not so much.

I agree with the others. Most things are basic for men and women, like cooking and budgets.

[Glass Cowcatcher]

I could agree with almost all of these, were they not specifically aimed at the women and wrapped up in the "hope chest" mentality.

[genericJname]

Learn to drive...yes, you would be surprised how many girls don't know how! I'm not saying its right or wrong to drive or not to drive, but it would be wise to at least have your license before you have children in case of an emergency.

How about just have a driver's license before you finish high school?

[dairyfreelife]

How about just have a driver's license before you finish high school?

Whether it's right or wrong to learn to drive bothers me a lot. My grandmother claimed her father did not believe women should be allowed to drive. My grandmother and her sisters had to learn after high school. I'm rather shocked this lady wrote that since most fundies today would never adhere to such a belief.

[skrmom]

I can't sew either other than replacing a button or hemming something.

But we've been married 30 years.

Any surgeon will tell you the way to a man's heart is through the strenum, not the stomach.

[Feberin]

I can't sew and am not good enough at ironing to meet my husband's standards. So he does all the ironing himself including when my son or I need things ironed. He also does the cooking a lot of nights especially during the weekend since he's a much better cook. My two year old told me today that he was hungry and I asked him if he wanted me to cook dinner and he said "daddy cook."

[CrazyCatLady]

well, i'm off to have the divorce papers drawn up since i can't sew. i can't believe my husband married me!

[ADoyle90815]

I think the best lesson to learn before marriage is to live on your own. I would never, ever even consider marrying a man who had never lived alone. If both people live on their own and have to be in charge of literally everything to keep their small household running, they will learn more lessons that way than from any condescending advice.

This. I learned that the hard way, and fortunately for my second time around, my fiancee has lived on his own since he went to college. As a result, not only does he know how to keep a budget, he cooks, cleans, and does his own laundry.