Brandy starts over, all over again.

[fluttershies]

I don't agree with certain lifestyle choices, but I don't recall ever going on a "burn the witches and stone the gays" sort of rant. I've got a few homosexual friends that I went to high school with, actually. And, nope, I don't go all "you're going to hell" on 'em either. :lol:

Everyone should be free to make their own life choices. :)

I get what you're saying and you're totally cool being a bit reserved in believing me or not. Completely understandable.

People do make stupid decisions though .... sometimes quite often, in our case ;) .... doesn't mean they don't eventually come to see truth when it's smacked 'em in the face. As you said, time will tell. And I'll expect a damn party. :lol:

Being LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer/questioning) isn't a 'lifestyle choice'. Queer people don't inherently have a different way of life to heterosexual people, they're just...not heterosexual. As Lissar said, when did you decide to be straight?

I am a Christian (Anglican/Episcopalian) and openly queer (bisexual/pansexual is probably the most accurate label but queer is my preferred label since it's a blanket term for non-heterosexual and the gender identity of my romantic partners doesn't matter to me). I spent many years wondering why God had made me like this, but now am at peace with the fact that my sexuality is just another part of how God made me, and that He loves me, and that all things He makes are beautiful - including my non-heterosexual sexuality. I've been aware at a subconscious level of my queerness since I was a small child, and at a more conscious level since puberty - it's just who I am. There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus, and since I belong to the Body of Christ, I am not condemned for who I am either. It is not a choice, and my lifestyle isn't any different from any other Christian.

At the moment I'm looking for work and preparing for university in September, and I don't see how my sexuality affects either of those things seeing as that's my lifestyle right now?

[The Archivist]

I am very uneasy with Brandy being here - not because I have a problem with her personally, but because I think it is very, very unhealthy.

Brandy, I think you seek approval from anyone and everyone, and that is part of the reason you cannot stick to any one decision about your lifestyle. You are too impressionable and too easily swayed by anyone who holds out the promise of accepting you into their fold - and that is dangerous both for you and your children.

You don't come off to me as someone who has "seen the light" and has made a real change based on growth and new realizations - you strike me as someone whose choices are dictated by whether they will receive a lot of approval. When they do, you get a quick hit to your self-esteem, but it doesn't last. Apparently there is something missing inside, a hole that can't be filled by shallow friendships and dramatic lifestyle changes. And when the quick hit wears off, you go looking for a new fix, a new welcome, from someone else.

I'm not going to welcome you here, because I think it's bad for you to be here, and I think your coming over to talk with people is only a symptom of the same problem that causes you to flip between fundie and rasta, friend of Candy to not-friend of Candy.

I think you need therapy in order to get a stable sense of self, and to learn that you have fundamental worth as a human being, regardless of who you're friends with or what lifestyle you live. Please seek help. This isn't just about you - you have children you are responsible for now. I can promise you that continuing to live the way you do will be damaging to them. Get a social worker, get a counselor, get a therapist, and get some self-esteem counseling.

We all want attention, acceptance, and approval - it is only human. We all need it, to some degree. But this is not the way to get it, by isolating yourself in real life and enacting a bunch of dramatics and faux-friendships on the internet. It is unhealthy, and if you take any of this seriously, you will stop posting here, you will Google some psychological resources in your area, and you will pick up the phone and make an appointment.

Everyone else - does this not come off as a bit like AnnoDomini? Anyone? I wouldn't bother giving her the big lecture about why it's wrong to be homophobic, why sexism is bad, whatever - because she will smile and nod, and pretend to understand and agree, but she is only doing it for the supply she gets from you when she appears to change her ways. You will wear yourself out and not produce a bit of change, except to feed her addiction.

[brandyc]

I don't keep pet fundies, and I don't cut fundies any slack. I personally think you are a hot mess and need some help, and I'd like to see you get it before you get pregnant again. The crap you told your daughter about sex was vomit producing for many here. You need to get off the fucking internets, call community services and see what kind of assistance is out there. If you are unwilling to work outside of the home, find something to do volunteer wise in town. And quit being so friggin concerned that you're gonna run into or have contact with some ebil heathen. Thats life in the real world. Deal with it.

FWIW seeing peoples pictures on facebook isn't socialization. Your girls are how old now? And they've been isolated for 3 years? You've lived in a community for 3 years, and I'm guessing there isn't a person in town that you can count on for some respite care, or a ride to the library.

How many playdates did your girls have since March? When was the last time they went to story book hour at the library? Did they get to go to town for Xmas and see the any holiday programs at the schools or churches in town? Did you take them to the parks last summer or enroll them in any summer play programs? Internet 'friends' can't give you a ride to town can they Brandy?

I've been following your different incarnations for years, you always have the best of intentions when you do another switcheroo.

As I've said, I don't expect or asked to be cut any slack. Patience, maybe .... but I knew signing onto here, I'd get some honest questions. I've no problems with that. Bring it on, I'm cool with it.

I'm quite aware of the uproar my sex talk with my daughter brought here. I don't deny not reading this entire thread. I still don't see any problems with what I told her and I do think y'all blew it out of proportion .... but whatever. :)

As I said in an above comment ... and as I've said over and over here already .... getting OUT and about in our local community, in our state, in our region, is TOTALLY something we're going to be doing. Volunteering and all.

I'm not concerned with running into non-believers. Like you said, it's a part of life. :)

No, seeing pictures on FB isn't socialization. I never said that was the only source of socialization. My girls are 3 and 8. They've not been completely isolated for 3yrs now .... just not as social as we once were. Are you not reading all of my comments? I've said, several times, that we have a couple of families that we hang out with as often as is doable for each family. There's one family that I can call anytime for help with anything we need. And there's an entire church body that's told us to call them ANYTIME we need anything.

Come on now .... you know darn well that our vehicle isn't on the road. So, no, we didn't walk up to town in the middle of winter. We didn't go see any Christmas programs. Yes, we took them to the park last summer a couple times. Yes, we took them to the library a couple times. They've had two playdates in March. Not enough, I know .... but I never claimed it was enough. I never claimed anything we've done was enough. I never even denied being a hot freaking mess in a lot of areas.

Best of intentions are worthless unless you put some action behind it, I know.

This is probably where having our families as support systems would have been wonderful for us. But we don't have that. And we've been over a year without a vehicle and that's really screwed us. I get that. I'm not stupid.

I know I've been lazy .... I know I've been selfish ... I know I've made some pretty serious stupid damn decisions ..... I KNOW.

I sit back, sometimes, and am really concerned that we're REALLY royally screwing certain things up. I get scared, sometimes, that we're ruining ALL of our lives. I'm well aware that I have some SERIOUS trust issues with "in real life" people ever since our mentors screwed us over. And I know NOTHING is gonna get better if we don't get our asses out there and TRY.

What else can I say??

formerlyfundie, thank you for that encouragement. I really appreciate that.

Lissar and fluttershies, I wasn't trying to be hurtful in the least, so I do apologize for that. I was speaking to lifestyle choices in general, not the issue of whether someone being gay is of choice or not. That's not really something I would enjoy getting into here as it doesn't have much to do with the conversation and it's a pretty heated topic that I'm well aware that I'd probably be in the minority on.

Please know that whether someone has chosen homosexuality or believe they were born that way, it doesn't matter to me in the sense that it doesn't change the fact that I can respect their lives and love the person. And I hope that made sense without offending anyone in any way whatsoever.

The Archivist, you're entitled to your own thoughts, obviously. Welcome me or not ... think it's healthy or not ... I don't give a shit. Sorry.

Now.

Ok y'all .... wow, what a bombardment LOL .... I *think* I answered everyone so far. If I missed you, can you repost so I can answer you?

Now, I need to get off for a bit .... spend some time with family ... switch the girls out on what they're doing with homeschooling .... ya know, the usual. I'll be back on later, though :)

[The Archivist]

I think you do give a shit, or you wouldn't be swearing at me.

[Witsec7]

I am very uneasy with Brandy being here - not because I have a problem with her personally, but because I think it is very, very unhealthy.

Brandy, I think you seek approval from anyone and everyone, and that is part of the reason you cannot stick to any one decision about your lifestyle. You are too impressionable and too easily swayed by anyone who holds out the promise of accepting you into their fold - and that is dangerous both for you and your children.

You don't come off to me as someone who has "seen the light" and has made a real change based on growth and new realizations - you strike me as someone whose choices are dictated by whether they will receive a lot of approval. When they do, you get a quick hit to your self-esteem, but it doesn't last. Apparently there is something missing inside, a hole that can't be filled by shallow friendships and dramatic lifestyle changes. And when the quick hit wears off, you go looking for a new fix, a new welcome, from someone else.

I'm not going to welcome you here, because I think it's bad for you to be here, and I think your coming over to talk with people is only a symptom of the same problem that causes you to flip between fundie and rasta, friend of Candy to not-friend of Candy.

I think you need therapy in order to get a stable sense of self, and to learn that you have fundamental worth as a human being, regardless of who you're friends with or what lifestyle you live. Please seek help. This isn't just about you - you have children you are responsible for now. I can promise you that continuing to live the way you do will be damaging to them. Get a social worker, get a counselor, get a therapist, and get some self-esteem counseling.

Everyone else - does this not come off as a bit like AnnoDomini? Anyone? I wouldn't bother giving her the big lecture about why it's wrong to be homophobic, why sexism is bad, whatever - because she will smile and nod, and pretend to understand and agree, but she is only doing it for the supply she gets from doing that. You will wear yourself out and not produce a bit of change, except to feed more into her addiction.

Yup and I agree, BC is needy of approval. She needs help learning how to self validate and figure out why she cycles the way she does. And I hope to Cthulhu she gets it before she has her next kid.

[The Archivist]

Notice how she is quick to apologize to anyone she thinks she can get to like her, but when I state clearly that I will not welcome her, will not give her approval, she immediately tells me she doesn't give a shit?

She knows she can't impress me, so she's not going to even bother with the civility she accords people she can get approval from. This makes me really uncomfortable.

[Guest Anonymous]

Archivist, that is an extremely perceptive post.

I'm torn. I think Brandy is getting some approval but also challenges on things that are problematic. I don't believe that the issues in Brandy's home/life can be fixed via or by the internet. And while people have been pretty damn gentle so far, this being a snark forum, (and not a support forum) there's no guarantee that will continue to be the case. It almost definitely won't be. Then what happens? My bet is on liberal Christianity getting tossed out the window right along with FJ.

*ETA: This was in reference to your first post. The thread got away from me a bit while I had the reply window open.

[Guest Anonymous]

Notice how she is quick to apologize to anyone she thinks she can get to like her, but when I state clearly that I will not welcome her, will not give her approval, she immediately tells me she doesn't give a shit?

She knows she can't impress me, so she's not going to even bother with the civility she accords people she can get approval from. This makes me really uncomfortable.

I agree with your overall perception. I don't know how much of it is deliberate or planned but there seems to be a great deal of 'please like me and be my new friend' coming across in Brandy's posts, along with definite sidelining of any people/issues where she knows she isn't ready to be challenged.

I still have the carpet cleaner out from earlier on...

ETA: Because I cross-posted with Lissar and the toothache-ridden dog again and didn't want to appear to be ignoring her again.... :D

[The Archivist]

I doubt that it is deliberate or planned. I don't think Brandy is a troll - I think she is lacking insight. Yet that doesn't make what she's doing any less unhealthy or potentially damaging. I wish she would get real help, because I think she matters as a person, and I think her children deserve a healthy mom.

[Witsec7]

I'm tired of hearing this crap about the truck. If your family needs a vehicle then get off your computer and get a job, you and your husband can work opposing shifts, lots of folks do it so that they can provide for their family's needs. And a dependable vehicle, is a need for a family with children. If you worked minimum wage for all the hours you waste blogging or making stupid notebooks, your insurance would have been paid for by now.

riffle

[formerlyfundie]

I am very uneasy with Brandy being here - not because I have a problem with her personally, but because I think it is very, very unhealthy.

Brandy, I think you seek approval from anyone and everyone, and that is part of the reason you cannot stick to any one decision about your lifestyle. You are too impressionable and too easily swayed by anyone who holds out the promise of accepting you into their fold - and that is dangerous both for you and your children.

You don't come off to me as someone who has "seen the light" and has made a real change based on growth and new realizations - you strike me as someone whose choices are dictated by whether they will receive a lot of approval. When they do, you get a quick hit to your self-esteem, but it doesn't last. Apparently there is something missing inside, a hole that can't be filled by shallow friendships and dramatic lifestyle changes. And when the quick hit wears off, you go looking for a new fix, a new welcome, from someone else.

I'm not going to welcome you here, because I think it's bad for you to be here, and I think your coming over to talk with people is only a symptom of the same problem that causes you to flip between fundie and rasta, friend of Candy to not-friend of Candy.

I think you need therapy in order to get a stable sense of self, and to learn that you have fundamental worth as a human being, regardless of who you're friends with or what lifestyle you live. Please seek help. This isn't just about you - you have children you are responsible for now. I can promise you that continuing to live the way you do will be damaging to them. Get a social worker, get a counselor, get a therapist, and get some self-esteem counseling.

We all want attention, acceptance, and approval - it is only human. We all need it, to some degree. But this is not the way to get it, by isolating yourself in real life and enacting a bunch of dramatics and faux-friendships on the internet. It is unhealthy, and if you take any of this seriously, you will stop posting here, you will Google some psychological resources in your area, and you will pick up the phone and make an appointment.

Everyone else - does this not come off as a bit like AnnoDomini? Anyone? I wouldn't bother giving her the big lecture about why it's wrong to be homophobic, why sexism is bad, whatever - because she will smile and nod, and pretend to understand and agree, but she is only doing it for the supply she gets from you when she appears to change her ways. You will wear yourself out and not produce a bit of change, except to feed her addiction.

I second a lot of this.

I sincerely hope this is a step forward, I mean at least she's here right? She acknowledges that she has a lot of inconsistencies and is at least trying in some way to understand and listen...even if this is merely feeding the issues she has, at LEAST her coming here shuns her from a lot of fundies and their blogs. There won't be any forgiveness and crawling back another time, so she will have to actually make decisions on her own instead of being under the wing of these people.

We can only hope and watch hope and watch how it transpires.

But Brandy, talking to a counselor, expanding your network of friends, being unafraid of life and the world at large will make a hell of a difference in your life. You can indeed be a Christian and live in the world- also you can be a Christian and not be an asshole about it too. Do what you have to, move on, and don't rely on others to fill you up with happiness. The only person who can really make you happy is yourself. Take steps to get there and your happiness will fill everyone else around you. (I'm only being so real with you because I want you to get help, while all of your antics and phases have been interesting and quite a ride, it's also really sad. If not for you, do it for your family. You seem to have a husband that supports you and your girls need you. Step up.)

[fluttershies]

No Brandy, you clearly cannot respect my life, let alone love me, if you basically call me a liar. Seeing as I'm the queer one here and therefore have a better handle on what it feels like to not be straight, why can you not take me at my word that I was created this way by God? Why do you know my sexuality better than I do myself?

Again, if I chose to be queer (I am not homosexual as I am not attracted to women alone) when did you choose to be straight?

And Archivist, I think you're probably right. Brandy, you need some professional help. This isn't snark or an insult, but friendly advice. I think you have emotional issues which can only be helped by a professional. That's not me discounting God's work in you, but that God has given others gifts in the medical/therapy field that they can use to help you. Said help would make you happier, more stable and ultimately a better parent.

[The Archivist]

I sincerely hope this is a step forward, I mean at least she's here right? She acknowledges that she has a lot of inconsistencies and is at least trying in some way to understand and listen...even if this is merely feeding the issues she has, at LEAST her coming here shuns her from a lot of fundies and their blogs. There won't be any forgiveness and crawling back another time, so she will have to actually make decisions on her own instead of being under the wing of these people.

I would be inclined to agree with this if it were not for Brandy's history. She has a long, looong, loooooooooooooooooong, and repeated history of doing this same thing - coming to the "haters" for approval, and not actually seeming to come to any permanent realizations or conclusions.

I appreciate her impulse - I believe she believes she really wants to change and find the right thing and live the right kind of life and believe the right things, but her behavior - words and no action (except further approval-seeking) - shows that this is not the real reason she engages in these exchanges online.

[Anise]

I doubt that it is deliberate or planned. I don't think Brandy is a troll - I think she is lacking insight. Yet that doesn't make what she's doing any less unhealthy or potentially damaging. I wish she would get real help, because I think she matters as a person, and I think her children deserve a healthy mom.

This.

I don't know. I do like Brandy; she seems like a nice person, and I'd love for her get her life together, but I know it can't be done this way. Advice is all well and good, but we or anyone else shouldn't be a source of affirmation. :(

[Guest Anonymous]

Lissar and fluttershies, I wasn't trying to be hurtful in the least, so I do apologize for that. I was speaking to lifestyle choices in general, not the issue of whether someone being gay is of choice or not. That's not really something I would enjoy getting into here as it doesn't have much to do with the conversation and it's a pretty heated topic that I'm well aware that I'd probably be in the minority on.

Please know that whether someone has chosen homosexuality or believe they were born that way, it doesn't matter to me in the sense that it doesn't change the fact that I can respect their lives and love the person. And I hope that made sense without offending anyone in any way whatsoever.

You're right on one count. This little forum is one place where bigots are the minority, and thank goodness for it. With that, and taking The Archivist's words into account, I think I'm done here.

[prairiemuffin]

Hi, Brandy.

I'm not going to welcome you to fj right now, because as some others before me have expressed, I don't think you're in the right frame of mind for this to be a healthy exchange. Also, although at one point, I thought, "oh. I'd have so many questions for her if she decided to show her face", I've, shall we say, flip-flopped on that sentiment.

Here's the deal. As honorable and pure as your intentions may be, not a fucking thing is going to change in your life until YOU take some real, actionable steps to get YOURSELF in a healthier place-mentally/emotionally. I don't doubt for a second that you love your daughters dearly and want the best for them. But can we all just cut the crap here and acknowledge that you and your husband are not equipped at this point in time to make any long term plans, or make a call on what's the best lifestyle decision for your family? The sheer speed that you are swinging from one extreme to another kinda speaks for itself.

I'm not going to armchair diagnose you, but you and your husband need therapy. And no. That's not an attack. I've been in therapy for years, and I think pretty much everyone would benefit from it. Find out what it is that makes you feel so shitty about yourself. Figure out why, when one of you decides to do a 180, the other one just goes merrily along with it. Have a trained professional work with you to get your self-esteem up. Because until shed off all that bullshit, you can talk about the changes you're going to make in your life, and all that's going to happen is the continuing train wreck of flip-flopping that you're leaving behind you.

Call up Jason's parents and tell them what's really going on. Move back there and use that support system to get your shit figured out.

[Kitchen Princess]

I am very uneasy with Brandy being here - not because I have a problem with her personally, but because I think it is very, very unhealthy.

Brandy, I think you seek approval from anyone and everyone, and that is part of the reason you cannot stick to any one decision about your lifestyle. You are too impressionable and too easily swayed by anyone who holds out the promise of accepting you into their fold - and that is dangerous both for you and your children.

You don't come off to me as someone who has "seen the light" and has made a real change based on growth and new realizations - you strike me as someone whose choices are dictated by whether they will receive a lot of approval. When they do, you get a quick hit to your self-esteem, but it doesn't last. Apparently there is something missing inside, a hole that can't be filled by shallow friendships and dramatic lifestyle changes. And when the quick hit wears off, you go looking for a new fix, a new welcome, from someone else.

I'm not going to welcome you here, because I think it's bad for you to be here, and I think your coming over to talk with people is only a symptom of the same problem that causes you to flip between fundie and rasta, friend of Candy to not-friend of Candy.

I think you need therapy in order to get a stable sense of self, and to learn that you have fundamental worth as a human being, regardless of who you're friends with or what lifestyle you live. Please seek help. This isn't just about you - you have children you are responsible for now. I can promise you that continuing to live the way you do will be damaging to them. Get a social worker, get a counselor, get a therapist, and get some self-esteem counseling.

We all want attention, acceptance, and approval - it is only human. We all need it, to some degree. But this is not the way to get it, by isolating yourself in real life and enacting a bunch of dramatics and faux-friendships on the internet. It is unhealthy, and if you take any of this seriously, you will stop posting here, you will Google some psychological resources in your area, and you will pick up the phone and make an appointment.

Everyone else - does this not come off as a bit like AnnoDomini? Anyone? I wouldn't bother giving her the big lecture about why it's wrong to be homophobic, why sexism is bad, whatever - because she will smile and nod, and pretend to understand and agree, but she is only doing it for the supply she gets from you when she appears to change her ways. You will wear yourself out and not produce a bit of change, except to feed her addiction.

This. This. Brandy has a problem with boundaries, and I'm just getting that from this thread. I have never read her blog.

[fluttershies]

Hi, Brandy.

I'm not going to welcome you to fj right now, because as some others before me have expressed, I don't think you're in the right frame of mind for this to be a healthy exchange. Also, although at one point, I thought, "oh. I'd have so many questions for her if she decided to show her face", I've, shall we say, flip-flopped on that sentiment.

Here's the deal. As honorable and pure as your intentions may be, not a fucking thing is going to change in your life until YOU take some real, actionable steps to get YOURSELF in a healthier place-mentally/emotionally. I don't doubt for a second that you love your daughters dearly and want the best for them. But can we all just cut the crap here and acknowledge that you and your husband are not equipped at this point in time to make any long term plans, or make a call on what's the best lifestyle decision for your family? The sheer speed that you are swinging from one extreme to another kinda speaks for itself.

I'm not going to armchair diagnose you, but you and your husband need therapy. And no. That's not an attack. I've been in therapy for years, and I think pretty much everyone would benefit from it. Find out what it is that makes you feel so shitty about yourself. Figure out why, when one of you decides to do a 180, the other one just goes merrily along with it. Have a trained professional work with you to get your self-esteem up. Because until shed off all that bullshit, you can talk about the changes you're going to make in your life, and all that's going to happen is the continuing train wreck of flip-flopping that you're leaving behind you.

Call up Jason's parents and tell them what's really going on. Move back there and use that support system to get your shit figured out.

I agree with all of this, especially the last part. Sure going back to Jason's parents would take swallowing your pride but it would be so worth it, if only for the sake of the kids.

[Sola]

I couldn't do vegan organic. Love my meat too much ROFL.

I know EXACTLY what you mean. Exactly. We have people trying to talk us out of dreads because "what will people think of you? What will people think of Jesus? People will judge based on your appearance and you'll be telling them you're some rhastafarian druggie or something looking like that/dressing like that!"

Or something along those lines.

Some people are gonna judge no matter WHAT you look like or how you dress though. We can't look like other people think we need to look though or we'll never be happy, dang it.

And who are the people who are questioning you? Conservative Christians might I guess?

I am no Christian Brandy, but I know one thing; having dreads doesn't make you a bad person. I know of (online) plenty smartly dressed douchebag Christians. What you look like has no bearing on what type of person you are.

I have dyed red hair, hairy armpits, hairy legs, I am crunchy as they come, wear some pretty way out clothes at times. I don't do makeup, when I have a bad hair day I bung on a scarf instead of washing it (I don't have dreads, damn I would love them though). I am also a professional woman, mother of two and wife of one fantastic hubby. If you saw me you would think I was either a slightly way out fundie (I do love frumpers), or a hippy. Yet if you lived in the town where my job is and your child had difficulties, chances are I would be your child's educational psychologist.

Appearances can be deceptive.

[Sola]

I doubt that it is deliberate or planned. I don't think Brandy is a troll - I think she is lacking insight. Yet that doesn't make what she's doing any less unhealthy or potentially damaging. I wish she would get real help, because I think she matters as a person, and I think her children deserve a healthy mom.

I don't think she is trolling either. She honestly doesn't seem that type. But I do worry that she might latch onto us instead of getting out in the real world. I don't mind her being here, I welcome her - she can learn a lot from us. But she needs a real life too. I'm just concerned that she might be telling us what she thinks we want to hear, without even realising that she is doing that.

[fundiefan]

I so wish I had the time to read all of today's activity! I will just say this. Brandy, if you are still around, stick around. FJ is like any and every other place, on the Internet and otherwise - there are all kinds here. Not everyone will be 'nice'. Not everyone will want to hear what you have to say. But, overall, if you can stick around, you might get something out of it. You won't get approval or back patting, but you will get honest responses and opinions. The same kind that brought you here in the first place.

Like Sola said right above me - FJ can't replace interaction with people face to face. But, it can help you 'think out loud' and get honest input that isn't full of agenda or motive. It can give you something to think about, and something to take to interaction with people in your real life. Ideas to bounce and toss around. Things to think about.

I don't think Brandy is trolling either. I think she is continuing to do what she's done since I first read her - she's searching.

Whatever will be, will be.

I hope it's a start. For your sake, Brandy, and the sake of your family. Get that thick skin you posted about, don't fall into being defensive or a victim, and just...talk.

[Witsec7]

Unless you're a man {or, I guess, a woman until married} who's entering the medical field or maybe the law field .... then yes, college is a waste of money. You can learn all you want to learn {except in those few fields} at home, via internet and books readily available, without paying tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars for someone else to teach it to you.

Quite honestly, a trade school {carpentry, cooking, welding, whatnot} would be preferential in either case. Cheaper. And you're not being filled with all sorts of useless fluff {and anti-Biblical garbage} you don't always need for your career {as you would in college} ... you're focused solely on learning a trade that you can have the rest of your life.

So, like I said ... a class here or there, probably no problem. Most likely through an at-home site {such as College Plus, maybe}. Full-time college? Something that'd take some serious fasting and prayer to see if it is definitely of God.

I needed to repost BCs views on higher education.

[MonkeyMomma]

I needed to repost BCs views on higher education.

Thank you. This is exactly the quote I was thinking about and pained me so much.

[fluttershies]

Thank you. This is exactly the quote I was thinking about and pained me so much.

Seriously, that shows how little she knows about what university entails. Nothing wrong with going to a trade school if you want to work in one of those fields, but college also gives you skills for life. They might not be as obvious as say, carpentry, but critical thinking skills etc aren't exactly 'useless fluff'.

[Artemis]

Brandy: Like it says on the package, this isn't a self help forum, it's a snark forum. We do not provide a support service. (Although if you go to Chatter, and just listen, you'll see how people do support each other with strength, and without sentimentality or sugar. Once they know and care for and have proved each other.)

I have one word of advice for you. If you get a tutor for your children, get one who is a) qualified by an accredited organisation to teach what she teaches, b) holds a Criminal Records Bureau check, or whatever the American equivalent is, and has not just been teaching for a couple of years and c) is ALSO, as well as a) and b) recommended to you by word of mouth by parents with similar age children.

I don't want to get involved with you, I don't read your website, and I'm unlikely to post again on this thread (note to FJ: too many AD vibes here for me, tho' I didn't get involved in that one either.) But I do teach and also tutor. If you're getting someone to tutor your children, take care - and never leave them alone with your child. (I insist on parental presence in the house when I tutor, if not in the same room.)

Seconding the comments about LGBT. It is NOT a lifestyle choice. When did you consciously choose to be straight? Or did you always know you were straight? Well, LGBT people know they're LGBT. They don't choose. They are - just like you.

ETA I notice I've finally graduated to Anaconda Hunting. Now where did Dougie get to . . . ?

On second thoughts . . .