Viewer discretion is advised judge abusing his daughter

[Effie]

No, they deserve more rights than adults, due to their age-given dependence on others, inability to judge certain situations and to defend themselves.

It's definitely about time to outlaw corporal punishment. I think this video proves why. If this is what corporal punishment is about, then I can not understand how grown-up people can allow it. I somehow thought corporal punishment was about two spankings in a row, and that was upsetting to me. What's happening in the video is barbaric. I have no words for such a cruelty.

"Corporal punishment of children breaches their fundamental human rights to respect for human dignity and physical integrity."

-

www.endcorporalpunishment.org

[SamuraiKatz]

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/45146961/ ... ay_people/

Video from the Today Show. Not sure what to think about the mom.....

[JesusFightClub]

Seconding Effie. He was beating the living shit out of her and she was crying and begging him to stop. That is totally the sort of situation which led to Lydia Schatz's death.

The mum was trying to calm the dad by offering to deal but she could not. They kept coming back to hit her again.

If this is all legit, and I think it is, I feel sick.

[treemom]

Seconding Effie. He was beating the living shit out of her and she was crying and begging him to stop. That is totally the sort of situation which led to Lydia Schatz's death.

The mum was trying to calm the dad by offering to deal but she could not. They kept coming back to hit her again.

If this is all legit, and I think it is, I feel sick.

I will tell you even if isn't legit in this case it happens a lot.

[Austin]

Dr. Drew talked about this situation on his show last night. I am heartened by his strong reaction and hope more people who are visible in the media will speak up in similar ways.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bestof ... ng-hln.cnn

[Effie]

Interesting video on CNN. Annoying when they talk all at once though.

[colt13]

I watched half of the video yesterday, and I don't think I have ever been affected by anything on the internet as much as this. Admittedly, i'm writing not because I have anything new to add, but need to vent.

My feelings yesterday were that this was a brilliantly creative young girl, who realizing that if she went public 7 years ago, could have been a ward of the state. And I wasn't sure that she could live independently with CP. Todays interview confirmed some of that, and i'm just so amazed that she could stay in that situation and come out well adjusted.

The mom i'm not so sure about. I was pissed because she participated too. And it didn't look like she was in fear of hubby. If her plan was to have the child take the beating so she wouldn't have to, i'm not sure I want to finish that thought.

Finally the Judge. A bleepin Judge. I'm actually curious what his record is on child abuse cases. He got off on beating his daughter, being the big "man" of the house. He beat her, then mom got a swat in.......then it started all over again. She probably lost all respect for him at this point and mentally checked out, so while it is true that she isn't listening to him, she is in survival mode.

[emmiedahl]

I saw a clip in which that dad admitted it and said in his mind, he did not do anything wrong.

Do we really want that person as a family court judge?

[HoneyBunny]

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/45146961/ns/today-today_people/

Video from the Today Show. Not sure what to think about the mom.....

I'll be honest. I'm not certain the mom is that much of a prize either. It was as if she was quoting from the Domestic Abuse- Victims manual. It just seemed a little too scripted.

[doggie]

he admitted to the video that's as good as gold. no way he will keep his judgeship.

[Austin]

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/45146961/ns/today-today_people/

Video from the Today Show. Not sure what to think about the mom.....

This did not change my opinion of the mother one bit. I agree that it seemed very scripted. He is a monster, obviously. But she was/is a grown woman and that was her child. Adult women have responsibilities; that's part of feminism, too. We don't give fundie moms a pass when they stand there and watch their husbands beat their kids, and they can argue brainwashing and fear, too.

No doubt her choices were not great ones. No doubt they were scary and would have required a lot from her. But she still had choices. A relative of mine who allowed her children to be abused in a similar fashion whines when she's called on it, "I had two kids and a high school education. . . what was I supposed to dooooooooo?" Yeah, I've heard it all before.

And since when do we let people off the hook morally because they were "just taking orders"?

[emmiedahl]

Even if she could not leave, she did not have to report her daughter's misbehavior to a violent father. She did not have to spank the girl herself and exhort her to take it like a woman. This bitch is just as bad as the father. She is backtracking for legal reasons and to save face.

[Austin]

Even if she could not leave, she did not have to report her daughter's misbehavior to a violent father. She did not have to spank the girl herself and exhort her to take it like a woman. This bitch is just as bad as the father. She is backtracking for legal reasons and to save face.

I actually just caught that this morning. Listening from the very beginning with the volume turned up, you can hear her do this. It basically seems like she got this whole thing going (not that he wasn't a violent asshole on his own, but this particular incident).

[Yo Nurse]

I'm sorry if I'm repeating anything asked upthread. My guess as to the reason Hillary waited seven years to expose the video is that her younger sister has recently turned 18, and therefore can leave the household or refuse visitation with her father. Just a wild guess.

Something that resonated with me about the video: After the beating had somewhat subsided, the father asks "What happened to you Hillary, you used to be such a nice little girl, so obedient?". My guess is that her niceness and obedience was still not enough to obtain the love of her father or keep her from beatings. Perhaps Hillary gave up trying to please her father by that point, knowing she would get abused no matter what.

My view of the mother is rather dim. Perhaps she spanked Hillary, perhaps she only lied and said she did so the judge would lay off. That doesn't excuse the hitting or verbal abuse the mother administered. My guess as to why Hillary forgives her is that, had she not, she would essentially lose both parents.

[Austin]

Something that resonated with me about the video: After the beating had somewhat subsided, the father asks "What happened to you Hillary, you used to be such a nice little girl, so obedient?". My guess is that her niceness and obedience was still not enough to obtain the love of her father or keep her from beatings. Perhaps Hillary gave up trying to please her father by that point, knowing she would get abused no matter what.

Something that we've discussed many times at FJ is how children who are brought up in authoritarian homes with violence often become sneaky and start lying and become underhanded. Many of us have experienced this personally, or know people who have, as a coping mechanism to stave off abuse, or just so they don't have to be berated constantly.

Typical children can be physicallly coerced into behaving almost any way the parent wants them to. That does not mean the parent has won the mind and heart of the child. The child may outwardly behave "nicely" and "obediently", but their internal experience is much different.

[fundiefan]

I haven't read the latests posts so someone may have said this - I'm doing hit & run posting on my lunch hour. I read her Twitter. Apparently, her father paid her Internet and cell phone bills and he has cut them off, so she has no way of communicating. As of this morning, at least. Someone else posted on her Twitter for her.

Controlling, manipulative assholes can't hide their character easily.

[nuri]

I have mixed feelings on the mother. Before I can be all throw the book at her, I would want to know if she was being abused as well. Not because I think that completly exonerates her actions, but it might mitigate or explain some of them. Because I see a big difference between someone who is in the midst of their abuse and someone who has had time outside of it to figure things out.

Because smart, capable, intelligent people get stuck in abusive relationships, and are systematically stripped of their ability to see any choices, and it can take years to struggle out of it. What I see in the video is the mother potentially trying to lessen the abuse but be within the "rules" of the household.

I don't think there is a black and white answer for the mother. Clearly, Hilary has made her peace with her, and I think that says a lot as to how things worked in that family.

[CanticleoftheTurning]

Something that resonated with me about the video: After the beating had somewhat subsided, the father asks "What happened to you Hillary, you used to be such a nice little girl, so obedient?". My guess is that her niceness and obedience was still not enough to obtain the love of her father or keep her from beatings. Perhaps Hillary gave up trying to please her father by that point, knowing she would get abused no matter what.

I could not, I just could not watch it with the sound on. At first I was at work, but I decided against watching it again with the sound on at home because I thought it might be too triggering. And from the quotes people are pulling from the video, yes, it is triggering.

My dad did start saying that part way through high school as I started realizing what a poisonous koolaid I was drinking. He wouldn't say it during his Mr Hyde rages, but he would mention about how sweet I was and how I was always "daddy's girl" when I was younger, almost wistfully because I was becoming too independent. I was a teenager for fark's sake! And then when he disowned me, then he definitely did drag up all the perceived hurts I did to him because I wasn't so sweet and obedient to him anymore, which obviously meant I hated him.

What an asshole.

Typical children can be physicallly coerced into behaving almost any way the parent wants them to. That does not mean the parent has won the mind and heart of the child. The child may outwardly behave "nicely" and "obediently", but their internal experience is much different.

Kids can even be verbally or silently coerced into behaving in anyway the parent wants, as well. It's all about the guilt--we're not obeying dad by being unable to read his mind, so of course we're going to hell, so we need to look like we're fawning even more over him to make him think we're being sweet and obedient. Even when inside, we're rebelling and screaming.

I am still incredibly pissed off. But I'm glad Hillary shared the video, because it really does open up a conversation about corporal punishment. Hitting a teen with a belt just reeks of S&M to me. It's not even punishment anymore, but rather a way for the father to "get off" emotionally, to let out all his anger.

Please let him be disbarred and removed from office in disgrace, since it seems he can't be prosecuted. :evil:

[CanticleoftheTurning]

I have mixed feelings on the mother. Before I can be all throw the book at her, I would want to know if she was being abused as well. Not because I think that completly exonerates her actions, but it might mitigate or explain some of them. Because I see a big difference between someone who is in the midst of their abuse and someone who has had time outside of it to figure things out.

Because smart, capable, intelligent people get stuck in abusive relationships, and are systematically stripped of their ability to see any choices, and it can take years to struggle out of it. What I see in the video is the mother potentially trying to lessen the abuse but be within the "rules" of the household.

I don't think there is a black and white answer for the mother. Clearly, Hilary has made her peace with her, and I think that says a lot as to how things worked in that family.

Same here. While I am still angry at my mother for getting sucked in and enabling my dad's abuse, she has been wholly brainwashed. (Probably thanks to the evil book, "How To Change Your Husband" by some catholic cult.) and she cannot see things for the truth anymore. It comes from the BPD my dad likely has. Even if the sky is blue, if he says the sky is orange, then my mom will believe the sky is orange. If she tries to stand up and say, "No, it's really blue," then she'll be verbally and psychologically abused...just like how people get brainwashed.

On the other hand, what the hell happened to a parent's instinct to care for their child? Failing to protect your children is the worst any parent could do--it's downright incomprehensible.

[Effie]

I have mixed feelings on the mother.

Me too. Why did Hillary choose to stay with her father after her parents' divorce?

[Yo Nurse]

Something that we've discussed many times at FJ is how children who are brought up in authoritarian homes with violence often become sneaky and start lying and become underhanded. Many of us have experienced this personally, or know people who have, as a coping mechanism to stave off abuse, or just so they don't have to be berated constantly.

Typical children can be physicallly coerced into behaving almost any way the parent wants them to. That does not mean the parent has won the mind and heart of the child. The child may outwardly behave "nicely" and "obediently", but their internal experience is much different.

I did not mean my post as any criticism of Hillary. I think she went through numerous awful ordeals during her time with her 'father'. I guess I was merely reading my own experience into hers. At some point, even the most people-pleasing among us gives up. CanticleoftheTurning, I can relate to what you're saying. I was always hearing about what a compliant little girl I had been. It's funny, because I don't remember being praised for it as a little one. In fact, I heard, more times than I care to count, about how "hard headed" I was. I can also relate to learning to lie and be underhanded in my household due to my upbringing. It took me until I was 30 to even begin to get over it, and my dad didn't beat me quite as badly as Hillary's. My heart aches for her.

[nuri]

Me too. Why did Hillary choose to stay with her father after her parents' divorce?

I wish I knew a timeline, but my guess? Texas politics. Apparently he had been paying some of her bills too, and this was released after he threatened to cut them off. Couple that with the father wanting to regain custody of the 10-year old, made it a pretty good time to use what little leverage she had.

[Austin]

I did not mean my post as any criticism of Hillary. I think she went through numerous awful ordeals during her time with her 'father'. I guess I was merely reading my own experience into hers. At some point, even the most people-pleasing among us gives up. CanticleoftheTurning, I can relate to what you're saying. I was always hearing about what a compliant little girl I had been. It's funny, because I don't remember being praised for it as a little one. In fact, I heard, more times than I care to count, about how "hard headed" I was. I can also relate to learning to lie and be underhanded in my household due to my upbringing. It took me until I was 30 to even begin to get over it, and my dad didn't beat me quite as badly as Hillary's. My heart aches for her.

I didn't take your post as any criticism of Hillary. I was just attempting to express, in general, that an adult can manipulate or scare a child into acting any way they want, but it doesn't mean that the child is down with the plan for the long haul or behind the parents' back. I am not surprised when children raised in authoritarian homes sneak around or lie or whatever. I don't know if Hillary did any of that or not, and it doesn't matter in the least. I just want parents or potential parents to know that just because your child is "nice" or "obedient" does not mean you're "doing it right" or that hitting or scaring them is working.

[Witsec7]

I just posted the clip and an article on another forum I post on. Its populated mainly by IFBs. This was a response:

HUH, that looks like a warm up

[Shirley MacLaine]

I just posted the clip and an article on another forum I post on. Its populated mainly by IFBs. This was a response:

HUH, that looks like a warm up

Vomit.