Viewer discretion is advised judge abusing his daughter

[Deleted03]

You know, I've thought about that some this week. Imagine if that was a video of a dog being beat like that - 17 times with an implement. I think there would be outcry, but with more consensus than there may be on the Hillary Adams situation. I like animals fine and have had them all my life and would never, ever hurt one, but I find that to be disconcerting.

I think there is a segment of the population here in the US who is so invested in holding onto their legal right to spank their children that it skews what would otherwise be their outraged response into a "well, that wasn't right, but it wasn't so bad, either". Some of it is deeply tied to religion and some of it is tied to unrecognized or minimized dysfunction in some people's own upbringings.

I was told by a friend that there was no need to have philosophical ethical questions when it comes to raising a child. I think in some cases, it's the person who does not want to go back on their upbringing and interpret their parents' actions as abuse usually because the parents are incredibly idealized and for others it's about not looking back on their actions/ failures.

[emmiedahl]

It's hard to say, "My parents loved me and did their best, yet some of their discipline was abusive." I have had to come to that realization, that my kick-ass feminist mother was abusive at times. I have had to have that discussion with her and we have both healed from it. She cried and told me that she did her best, and that there was so much that she regretted. I told her: she did better than her parents, and I will do better than mine, and we will stop this horrible cycle here. It's really heavy, but our relationship has never been better.

My mother is a psychologist, so we can have these discussions. She *gets* it now. If my mother were different, I would be left to choose between blaming her or accepting her behavior as right.

Our nation needs a lot of healing. The way we raise children is one particularly festering area. I hope this tape can get people talking about how to stop this, and what laws should be put in place to stop it. Many, many Americans hit their children. It is normal, and it should not be.

[Witsec7]

I originally hoped that the conversation around this tape would open some eyes. With regards to the IFBs I post with its been painful and more than disheartening. Folks continue to justify their own status quo and reach to bible verses to support physical, emotional, spiritual and psychological abuse.

[Doomed Harlottt]

As far as extortion, it could just as easily be argued that she no longer had anything to lose. We recently discussed about parents controlling adult children in Chatter. The consensus was largely to not give those sorts of parents cards to play against you: to take no financial help from them, to get your own car, car/health insurance, legal documents and put yourself in a position where, if you need to, you can basically tell them to take a hike. Maybe Hillary was at the point where she realized he had nothing to hold over her any more and acted from that place. Plus on the extortion issue, it could have been going the other way all along, where he was extorting her in that if she didn't do exactly as he wanted, he would withdraw support she counted on.

In any case, I don't think it matters.

Right on! The judge's accusation of extortion makes me furious. Classic victim blaming. He is removing the focus from his actions in the hopes that we will all have a conversation about what his daughter might or might not have done wrong.

And I TOTALLY agree as to the importance of not letting abusive parents have a hold on your life once you reach adulthood. I remember in college walking out on my father after he threw something at me. It was chilling to realize that I needed to use his credit card in order to have a place to stay that night. After I finished college, I made sure never to be dependent on him in any way -- no loans, no support, no paying for my wedding, none of that. I know for a fact that he would have used money to try to control me if I had let him. Even now, he is using my supposed (small) inheritance as leverage, but even he knows that's never gonna work since I am supporting myself just fine. He is not even sure who else he would leave it to.

[emmiedahl]

If Hilary's dad beat and abused her, I completely support her in using his resources to get out via college and other pursuits. His beating her does not change his status as a wealthy parent who can and should help; her victim status does not make her less in need of a parent's help.

His whole argument of "she's just mad cuz I took away her cell phone!" does not fly with me. If anything, he fucked up her childhood, so a car and cell phone are a mere pittance.

[Deleted03]

Jeez I posted this video on my FB and this republican girl I know (who still has 3 books of mine) is giving me a shit about me being all French and criticizing this country and I can just leave if I don't like it O_o

[emmiedahl]

Unfriend her. That is bullshit. You are criticizing child abuse, not Americans.

[Deleted03]

Unfriend her. That is bullshit. You are criticizing child abuse, not Americans.

I was criticizing the system for him still being a judge and for limiting the statute of limitation to 5 years. Well she also said the girl just needed to grow up.

I wanted my books back but now I'm thinking this is a gift to her...

[notsocommon]

I don't even know that here in the US it is legal to treat an animal like that. Sometimes, this country . . . just, :( Don't even know what to say.

It is a felony to do that to an animal in Texas.

[Witsec7]

If Hilary's dad beat and abused her, I completely support her in using his resources to get out via college and other pursuits. His beating her does not change his status as a wealthy parent who can and should help; her victim status does not make her less in need of a parent's help.

His whole argument of "she's just mad cuz I took away her cell phone!" does not fly with me. If anything, he fucked up her childhood, so a car and cell phone are a mere pittance.

Doesn't matter if it was a Mercedes or a clunker. The patriarchy will use what ever means necessary to exert power and control. When she was out of his physical grasp he just used economics as another cudgel.

[Ralar]

Whether or not the daughter is "extorting" her father is a separate discussion. William Adams is an abuser who committed (at least one) crime against his daughter. He should be charged as any other citizen would be. The statute of limitation may have run for a misdemeanor, but I'm pretty sure a felony was also committed. I'm glad other agencies, in addition to the local officials who are probably close to the judge, are investigating. I can't stand Nancy Grace, but I watched her show last night because one of my friends was a guest. i actually cheered when NG said she's going after William Adams.

[StarrieEyedKat]

I just watched it again - did he turn the lights off before he started hitting her? Why?

[emmiedahl]

The lawyers here might be able to help, but I think I have heard of extensions of the statute of limitations in cases where the victim was threatened or otherwise under the control of the perpetrator. I keep thinking of a case in Northern California in which a daughter was kept trapped in a remote cabin by her father, who repeatedly raped her and was the father of her child. She was older when it was discovered, but I think they still got him for child abuse. Any thoughts?

[CanticleoftheTurning]

If Hilary's dad beat and abused her, I completely support her in using his resources to get out via college and other pursuits. His beating her does not change his status as a wealthy parent who can and should help; her victim status does not make her less in need of a parent's help.

His whole argument of "she's just mad cuz I took away her cell phone!" does not fly with me. If anything, he fucked up her childhood, so a car and cell phone are a mere pittance.

This.

I found his letter really ridiculous. It's amazing how people can gaslight situations to make it look like THEY'RE the ones who are the victims.

[CanticleoftheTurning]

I just watched it again - did he turn the lights off before he started hitting her? Why?

So he wouldn't have to look at her cry and writhe on the ground. Which just shows even more of his sociopathic nature. It also is a subconscious cue that the control of the situation is in HIS hands, and not Hillary's.

[Austin]

The lawyers here might be able to help, but I think I have heard of extensions of the statute of limitations in cases where the victim was threatened or otherwise under the control of the perpetrator. I keep thinking of a case in Northern California in which a daughter was kept trapped in a remote cabin by her father, who repeatedly raped her and was the father of her child. She was older when it was discovered, but I think they still got him for child abuse. Any thoughts?

Years ago, I remember there being discussion about cases of child abuse that came to light only because the victims remembered the abuse years later, having repressed the memory of the events because of the trauma. There may have been localities where the statutes of limitations were adjusted to the clock starting when the victim remembered the crimes, not when they occurred.

Of course, repressed memories and memory retrieval are very controversial topics, so I'm not sure what ever happened with it.

[SamuraiKatz]

So he wouldn't have to look at her cry and writhe on the ground. Which just shows even more of his sociopathic nature. It also is a subconscious cue that the control of the situation is in HIS hands, and not Hillary's.

It appears this event happened in the evening. IF the lights were on, someone could look in and see what he was doing. Didn't anyone calling the cops...so he knew what he was doing was wrong...

And....after some thought, I wonder if part of the reason Ms. Adams made this tape public was that her younger sister was at or close to the age when Ms. Adams' abuse began. Maybe it was a way to protect her younger sibling? "Judge" Adams damn sure can't raise a hand to the younger girl now.... :?

[Brainsample]

Newsy reported today (at the very end of the clip) that there will be a police investigation and a "judicial probe."

http://www.newsy.com/videos/daughter-of ... t-on-tape/

On the clip, they quote, I think an LA newspaper, that postulates that she was downloading illegal material, insinuating that there are two sides to the story. But with someone older, don't punishments usually have something to do with the nature of the infraction?

But just the same, wouldn't you do something more related to the nature of the focus, like deny internet access or game-playing for a time? Or work to earn or pay for what was obtained for free? Give that sum money to the parent or a charity and delete the material? Hold a "mock court" and make her do community service for breaking the law. Deny the person a reward ("I've decided that in lieu of what you did, I'm not buying you that new cell phone?"). ????

That interjection to consider the judge's perspective is not invalid if the girl did something that was illegal or forbidden by the family. I don't think that's the issue.

The more disturbing thing is the aggression he used with the belt, leaving the room and returning for more, and then saying the miserable stuff that he said to her. What's with the language? He wanted to beat her in the face???? My mother has said some truly stupid things to me in the heat of emotion, but I never heard anything like that.

[Deleted03]

What I find problematic too is that people who just shrug seem to ignore, that it is not only this beating that would be investigated, but multiple beatings., The way this is set up, the way the dad talks is just disturbing and shows that this happened on a regular basis.

[Witsec7]

A good punishment for a girl her age who has violated a computer use agreement with her parents would be to move the computer to a common area of the home. That way she could have access to what she needed regarding school but still be supervised. Or perhaps there is filtering software?? (I'm not sure about this part.)

[Austin]

The fact that she set up the camera beforehand, that she knew from previous experience that something bad was going to happen, speaks volumes. It screams that this had happened many times and she was getting older, getting smarter than dear-old-dad, and she decided that she needed proof. For whatever reason.

One thing I've missed in looking at all of these different articles and news reports: does anyone know how long the "father" has known about the existence of the tape? I mean, did she just tell him recently (she said that he knew she had it) or has he known for some time?

[StarrieEyedKat]

There's a support page on facebook for the dad. Reading some of the comments there made me feel stabby. :evil: Fortunately they only have 40+ members, as opposed to the "Don't re-elect Judge William Adams" page that has 32,000+ members.

[icecreamycakeycake]

A good punishment for a girl her age who has violated a computer use agreement with her parents would be to move the computer to a common area of the home. That way she could have access to what she needed regarding school but still be supervised. Or perhaps there is filtering software?? (I'm not sure about this part.)

Exactly... take the computer away. Logical consequence.

[Witsec7]

The fact that she set up the camera beforehand, that she knew from previous experience that something bad was going to happen, speaks volumes. It screams that this had happened many times and she was getting older, getting smarter than dear-old-dad, and she decided that she needed proof. For whatever reason.

One thing I've missed in looking at all of these different articles and news reports: does anyone know how long the "father" has known about the existence of the tape? I mean, did she just tell him recently (she said that he knew she had it) or has he known for some time?

For those of us who were assaulted with regularity by our parents the warning signs were evident. Once i was so terrified of a beating I knew I would receive (B- on a report card) I ran away and slept in the woods for two days. It was an east coast autumn IIRC.

edited for syntax

[survivor]

I have two friends who left abusive marriages. In both cases the abuse was mostly emotional and became physical later in the marriage, and the scale of the situation only crept up on them later. Both were worn down over years of systematic abuse until they felt unworthy of any other treatment. But the tipping point in each case came immediately when the spouse began to abuse the children. Both left immediately and finally. Both are still racked with guilt that they "allowed" even that one first time to happen. Happily they are both now grandparents to beautiful families in which the cycle of abuse has been broken completely.

At the time of leaving the abuser, one of my friends was completely penniless and lived in totally unsuitable housing for years afterwards, and still now is approaching retirement with no pension because she had no fight left at the time of the divorce to secure anything but freedom - but she says now that when faced with the reality of her child being beaten, she did the only thing she could humanly do, and took him and walked out and never looked back.

This was me. My x was verbally abusive to all of us, but the minute I felt my son was in danger of physical harm, we were out. We went immediately to a shelter. Honestly I'd have left sooner, but my son didn't want to leave - I think to protect his sisters from the pain of divorce. I took a lot of sh!t, but no way would I have let my son take it.