Viewer discretion is advised judge abusing his daughter

[TeCha]

"For Children Who Are Broken" by Elia Wise.

(Her book is Letters to Earth, and her website is http://www.lettertoearth.com.)

For children who were broken

it is very hard to mend......

Our pain was rarely spoken

and we hid the truth from friends.

Our parents said they loved us,

but they didn't act that way.

They broke our hearts and stole our worth,

with the things that they would say.

We wanted them to love us.

We didn't know what we did

to make them yell at us and hit us,

and wish we weren't their kid.

They'd beat us up and scream at us

and blame us for their lives.

Then they'd hold us close inside their

arms and tell us confusing lies

of how they really loved us

-- even though we were BAD,

and how it was OUR fault they hit us,

OUR fault that they were mad.

When days were just beginning

we sometimes prayed for them to end,

and when the pain kept coming,

we learned to just pretend

that we were good and so were they

and this was just one of those days

...tomorrow we'd be friends.

We had to believe it so.

We had nowhere else to go.

Each day that we pretended,

we replaced reality

with lies, or dreams,

or angry schemes,

in search of dignity ....

until our lies got bigger

than the truth,

and we had no one real to be

Our bodies were forsaken.

With no safe place to hide,

we learned to stop

hearing and feeling

what they did to our outsides.

We tried to make them love us,

till we hated ourselves instead,

and couldn't see a way out,

and wished that they were dead.

We scared ourselves by thinking that

and scared ourselves to know,

that we were acting just like them

--and might ever more be so.

To be half the size of a grown-

up and trapped inside their pain....

To every day lose everything

with no savior or refrain...

To wonder how it is possible

that God could so forget

the worthy child you knew you were,

when you had not been damaged yet ...

To figure on your fingers

the years till you'd be grown

enough to leave the torment

and survive away from home,

were more than you could count to,

or more than you could bear,

was the reality we lived in

and we knew it wasn't fair.

We who grew up broken

are somewhat out of time,

struggling to mend our childhood,

when our peers are in their prime.

Where others find love and contentment,

we still often have to strive

to remember we are worthy,

and heroes just to be alive.

Some of us are healing.

some of us are stealing.

Most are passing the anger on.

Some give their lives away to drugs,

or the promise of like beyond.

Some still hide from society.

Some struggle to belong.

But all of us are wishing

the past would not hold on so long.

There's a lot of digging down to do

to find the child within,

to love away the ugly pain

and feel innocence again.

There is forgiveness worthy of angel's

wings for remembering those at all,

who abused our sacred childhood

and programmed us to fall.

To seek to understand them,

and how their pain became our own,

is to risk the ground we stand on

to climb the mountain home.

The journey is not so lonely

as in the past it has been ...

More of us are strong enough

to let the growth begin.

But while we're trekking up the mountain

we need everything we've got,

to face the adults we have become,

and all that we are not.

So when you see us weary

from the day's internal climb ...

When we find fault with your best efforts,

or treat imperfection as purposeful crime ...

When you see our quick defenses,

our efforts to control,

our readiness to form a

plan of unrealistic goals ...

When we run into a conflict

and fight to the bitter end,

remember ....

We think that winning means

we won't be hurt again.

When we abandon OUR thoughts and feelings,

to be what we believe YOU want us to,

or look at trouble we're having,

and want to blame it all on you...

When life calls for new beginnings,

and we fear they re doomed to end,

remember...

Wounded trust is like a wounded knee--

It is very hard to bend.

Please remember this

when we are out of sorts.

Tell us the truth, and be our friend.

For children who were broken...

it is very hard to mend.

[Yo Nurse]

TeCha, love that poem! Thanks for posting it.

[AnnieC 305]

If it's any help it looks like this video may have come to the attention of a group that prefers to remain Anonymous.

I'm really hoping something good comes of that.

[Witsec7]

If it's any help it looks like this video may have come to the attention of a group that prefers to remain Anonymous.

I'm really hoping something good comes of that.

I noticed that myself 8-)

[Guest Anonymous]

I noticed that myself 8-)

Knock knock!

Who's there?

It's the Internet! And the Internet isn't happy. :evil:

[Biscuit]

But just the same, wouldn't you do something more related to the nature of the focus, like deny internet access or game-playing for a time? Or work to earn or pay for what was obtained for free? Give that sum money to the parent or a charity and delete the material? Hold a "mock court" and make her do community service for breaking the law. Deny the person a reward ("I've decided that in lieu of what you did, I'm not buying you that new cell phone?").

This. But the father in the video doesn't seem to care about true discipline, and is obviously more interested in hurting and humiliating his daughter.

I think the purpose of discipline is to socialize children and teach them self-control. Not to fundy extremes, but just to control impulses like grabbing a toy from a playmate or hitting when they are angry. For an older child or teen, there are more complex issues, like recognizing that illegal downloading is stealing, but it still boils down to self-control: turning the computer off instead of downloading that game that you really, really want.

If he was so concerned that his daughter was stealing, wouldn't it be far better, make much better sense, for him to model the self-control he wants his daughter to exhibit? If he, a grown man and a judge, cannot control himself, why is he so shocked that his 16-year-old shows a lapse in judgement? Isn't there even a verse in the bible about not being too harsh with children? I'm not really familiar with the bible, so I may be way off here, but anyway, teens will not respect parents that are so brutal and cruel, and if they don't respect their parents, they won't accept or internalize their values.

[BravaAmica]

If it's any help it looks like this video may have come to the attention of a group that prefers to remain Anonymous.

I'm really hoping something good comes of that.

Good. They can bring the pain like no one else.

[apple1]

Isn't there even a verse in the bible about not being too harsh with children? I'm not really familiar with the bible, so I may be way off here, but anyway, teens will not respect parents that are so brutal and cruel, and if they don't respect their parents, they won't accept or internalize their values.

Colossians 3:21

"Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged."

[Biscuit]

Yes, that's the one I was thinking of! Thank you, apple1.

[Doomed Harlottt]

Call me dense, but . . . who is the group that prefers to remain anonymous? I really don't like vigilantism!

[CanticleoftheTurning]

The fact that she set up the camera beforehand, that she knew from previous experience that something bad was going to happen, speaks volumes. It screams that this had happened many times and she was getting older, getting smarter than dear-old-dad, and she decided that she needed proof. For whatever reason.

One thing I've missed in looking at all of these different articles and news reports: does anyone know how long the "father" has known about the existence of the tape? I mean, did she just tell him recently (she said that he knew she had it) or has he known for some time?

I think it was in the MSNBC article/interview on the Today show--she mentioned the video when he was being verbally abusive toward her on the phone, and she said he was almost dismissive of the video, and "practically dared" her to post it.

So he knew the day she posted, basically.

[BravaAmica]

Call me dense, but . . . who is the group that prefers to remain anonymous? I really don't like vigilantism!

they're an on-line vigilante group. No one knows who they are.

[CanticleoftheTurning]

TeCha, love that poem! Thanks for posting it.

I agree--thank you. <3

[CanticleoftheTurning]

There's a support page on facebook for the dad. Reading some of the comments there made me feel stabby. :evil: Fortunately they only have 40+ members, as opposed to the "Don't re-elect Judge William Adams" page that has 32,000+ members.

I'm going to steer clear of that group then. I've been feeling stabby enough as is about the whole case. :angry-cussingblack:

[StarrieEyedKat]

I noticed that myself 8-)

Where did you guys hear about this? This could turn a lot more fascinating if Anon gets in on it. Aren't they the ones that hacked WBC?

[Kitchen Princess]

Regarding her downloading illegally, she said something about this on the Today show interview. It was something to the effect of, the item she wanted wasn't available for sale anywhere except China, and someone in China was giving it away (which was probably illegal).

I don't believe she was using Napster to download pop tunes. I seem to think it was software.

Also, she said she told him about the tape in April.

She's a very smart girl. I think she was probably driving his Mercedes and using his money just to put the screws to him for the way he treated her. I know I would.

[emmiedahl]

He is yelling at her over and over for playing games, and the mother reiterates that she can only use her computer for schoolwork. Music is never even brought up.

[AnnieC 305]

Where did you guys hear about this? This could turn a lot more fascinating if Anon gets in on it. Aren't they the ones that hacked WBC?

Well that was quick

http://anonops.blogspot.com/2011/11/jud ... r-for.html

Yes, the Internet is at the door and it is not happy with the Judge....

[annalena]

Jeez I posted this video on my FB and this republican girl I know (who still has 3 books of mine) is giving me a shit about me being all French and criticizing this country and I can just leave if I don't like it O_o

Well as some may know by now I am more conservative politically than a lot of others on this board...

but beating children is not republican, or conservative, or even sane. It is NEVER right. Doesn't matter in which country.

It's just WRONG.

[annalena]

Regarding her downloading illegally, she said something about this on the Today show interview. It was something to the effect of, the item she wanted wasn't available for sale anywhere except China, and someone in China was giving it away (which was probably illegal).

.

I think it was a game. Didn't she say that?

Oh please law system, do not get the idea to file her charges for illegally downloading this.

[Sola]

Well that was quick

http://anonops.blogspot.com/2011/11/jud ... r-for.html

Yes, the Internet is at the door and it is not happy with the Judge....

I wondered how long it would be before Anonymous picked it up.

The judge would probably have been better off if he had been locked up for this. Now Anon are involved, his life will be hell.

[JesusFightClub]

Aaah, Anonymous :) :)

Not normally a vengeance inclined person, but happy they are on the case. That was horrible, absolutely horrible to watch.

[annalena]

Well I didn't know the Anonymous site but I sure like their ideas. :twisted:

This is JUST what he deserves. Might even be worse than going straight to jail.

[BravaAmica]

Well I didn't know the Anonymous site but I sure like their ideas. :twisted:

This is JUST what he deserves. Might even be worse than going straight to jail.

This going beyond pizzas being delivered to his house. Or free samples of anal lube. If Anon is involved, he needs to get his money out his banks, cancel his credit cards, and sever his internet connection. They will pick pick pick at him until he breaks. It will be subtle and random. And he will have no idea it's them.

I like it.

[AnnieC 305]

For those who might be interested some information about recent activities.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_AntiSec

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45169382/ns ... rU4WvTDVEs

http://www.securitynewsdaily.com/anonym ... ites-1260/

http://www.techspot.com/news/45975-anon ... tails.html

http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/193788/ ... e-info.htm

And then there was the Westboro Baptist hack

http://www.salon.com/2011/02/25/westbor ... s_website/

Edited to add a few more links.

/thread hijack