Patriarchy. Still shit.

[Austin]

Could you just say "I'm hearing you being pedantic and condescending, an I don't like it"?

I could, but I don't see any reason to. I regret that you're offended by it but I just don't agree.

[Austin]

It also comes dangerously close to misandry. It's too easy to dismiss anything a man we don't like when he's saying, well, anything other than agreeing with us.

Let us not in our battle for equality, become the very sexists we despise.

Yes, AD, I am a secret misandrist. :roll: Have you ever actually read anything I've written?

Please don't attempt to lecture others on the battle for equality. I'm glad you're coming to these conclusions, but I doubt seriously you've ever done much to advance equality other than opining on the internet.

[Austin]

Hi, all. First-time poster, 4-week lurker.

I think I might have been denied a second interview for a job because I didn't wear a skirt to the first one. Maybe the place is run by fundies. I wear glasses (I had contacts for years, but they damaged my eyes,) and I noticed the women at this small "job fair" wearing glasses and dressing modestly, as I do. I dress that way because I *am* modest, not because of some dictate.

I thought this might be a cool place to work. I have many years experience in restaurants and food; this is a high-end grocery in a metropolitan area sorely in need of such.

Thoughts?

Welcome to FJ.

Can you share specifically why you think you were denied a second interview for that particular reason?

[CanadianHippie]

omg, it is always about the men with you, isn't it? :?

What?

[CanadianHippie]

I could, but I don't see any reason to. I regret that you're offended by it but I just don't agree.

I think you and emmiedahl are reading an entirely different thread...

I said "it takes away from the actual argument" which is what any made-up word does. It's not my fault people are better at listening to actual words instead of some mash up that sounds like it comes from a 5 year old (or in the case of the poster who mentioned it reminded her of Rugrats, a one year old).

[JesusFightClub]

I think you and emmiedahl are reading an entirely different thread...

I said "it takes away from the actual argument" which is what any made-up word does. It's not my fault people are better at listening to actual words instead of some mash up that sounds like it comes from a 5 year old (or in the case of the poster who mentioned it reminded her of Rugrats, a one year old).

*hands CH a tissue and reminds her to throw it away after*

Look, we all get it. The tragic plight of teh menz is super tragic. Every time a woman uses an inappropriate word, a man bursts into tears, a kitten dies, and CanadianHippie shows up to pearlclutch.

I agreed not to use that word if it winds up a poster I respect (LynnKaboom) and now folk are just discussing the word. No one was being rude.

If you really struggle so much, make a reasoned case as to why. If you can.

[CanadianHippie]

*hands CH a tissue and reminds her to throw it away after*

Look, we all get it. The tragic plight of teh menz is super tragic. Every time a woman uses an inappropriate word, a man bursts into tears, a kitten dies, and CanadianHippie shows up to pearlclutch.

I agreed not to use that word if it winds up a poster I respect (LynnKaboom) and now folk are just discussing the word. No one was being rude.

If you really struggle so much, make a reasoned case as to why. If you can.

I am seriously confused where the men part of this is coming from... Please explain?

But really, you want to sound like a child go ahead, just understand the people of any gender might hear/read it and brush you off.

[JesusFightClub]

Read the whole thread. I gave two quick examples.

To recap. My mother is an expert in one area of law. She is intelligent, very articulate and not shy in expounding her views. She still gets far less educated men saying to her, " Well...did you know this, probably not" and explaining basic concepts she learnt on her first day of study. No woman has ever done this to her.

I have read more Marx, Trotsky and Lenin than most people I know. I have been politically active for over ten years. And I still get comments like "You read books, how cute!" and "Let me tell ya about a guy called Marx" from men who were in primary school when I became a Marxist. I have never had a woman do that to me.

I can tell you so many women's experiences that have been the same. That is "male answer syndrome." A silly little girl tries her best, but even if she has a law degree, the guy will always be the expert and he needs to explain why.

[CanadianHippie]

Read the whole thread. I gave two quick examples.

To recap. My mother is an expert in one area of law. She is intelligent, very articulate and not shy in expounding her views. She still gets far less educated men saying to her, " Well...did you know this, probably not" and explaining basic concepts she learnt on her first day of study. No woman has ever done this to her.

I have read more Marx, Trotsky and Lenin than most people I know. I have been politically active for over ten years. And I still get comments like "You read books, how cute!" and "Let me tell ya about a guy called Marx" from men who were in primary school when I became a Marxist. I have never had a woman do that to me.

I can tell you so many women's experiences that have been the same. That is "male answer syndrome." A silly little girl tries her best, but even if she has a law degree, the guy will always be the expert and he needs to explain why.

Ok, I meant I am confused about where you and emmiedahl are getting "poor men" from my posts here. I just posted to agree with a couple of posters. I get what "mansplaining" and "male answer syndrome" comes from, I just don't get why you can't just say someone is being condescending.

[Patsy]

In my experience 'mansplaining' is more often used in feminist discussions, so obviously there it expresses more than just 'being condescending' - it's the helpful ol' man coming in to inform these poor ladies, because of course they couldn't figure it out on their own, they need help. From a man. Because men know better. It's particularly insulting when it comes from a man, to women, about women's issues, and when that does happen it's safe to assume that some of the audience would be very familiar with the term 'mansplaining'.

[deelaem]

Ok, I meant I am confused about where you and emmiedahl are getting "poor men" from my posts here. I just posted to agree with a couple of posters. I get what "mansplaining" and "male answer syndrome" comes from, I just don't get why you can't just say someone is being condescending.

Because men do this to women and they generally don't talk down to each other. I should think that would be obvious.

Not sure why the term mansplaining is so off-putting. I think it's a lot more explanatory and acceptable than what passes for language in this age of LOL and IDK.

[Witsec1]

ZOMG, Dee y r u being such a feminazi, LOL, IDK!!!1111 ;) :roll:

The OED "Word of the Year a few years ago was a mash-up word: "locavore".

[CanadianHippie]

Because men do this to women and they generally don't talk down to each other. I should think that would be obvious.

Not sure why the term mansplaining is so off-putting. I think it's a lot more explanatory and acceptable than what passes for language in this age of LOL and IDK.

LOL and IDK don't pass for "language" they pass for internet slang. As for mansplaining, as I've said before, it's a mishmash of words that makes it sound like your five years old. It's no different than using "embiggens" or "craptacular" in a serious discussion.

Finally, you still didn't answer my question. I asked how someone got "poor men" from my posts, not what it is this thread is about. I know what this thread is about, I also know I only voiced my opinion of a word with no mention of men or anything relating to the main points of discussion.

[fundiefan]

I haven't read the whole thread, but as far as the original topic goes. I don't believe finding a wedding attractive, or even 'squeeing' over it is promoting patriarchy or anything it stands for. You can be offended and appalled by beliefs, yet still think someone has a nice hair cut or pretty dress. The thoughts and ideas are not mutually exclusive. It isn't one or the other. It isn't 'hate all things fundie' or 'love all things fundie'.

I don't believe in any god and I am beyond disgusted by those who take their belief to absurd, dangerous levels. As people, I think they suck. That doesn't mean I can't think they had a nice looking wedding. I don't get where the thinking comes from that that would even be necessary.

Unlike fundies, I don't live a black and white life and I don't think anyone else here does either. There are shades and levels and degrees to everything.

[emmiedahl]

CanadianHippie, in every thread possible you come in to chide us not to forget about the men, not to use words that are negative in connotation to them, etc. I was noting a pattern that I have observed.

Language changes. In modern times, it changes quickly. Mansplaining is a concise and accurate way of describing the way that certain men talk to women. It is a somewhat shaming term that immediately exposes an anti-feminist action. I'm sorry if you don't like that. No, actually I am not sorry at all.

[CanadianHippie]

CanadianHippie, in every thread possible you come in to chide us not to forget about the men, not to use words that are negative in connotation to them, etc. I was noting a pattern that I have observed.

Language changes. In modern times, it changes quickly. Mansplaining is a concise and accurate way of describing the way that certain men talk to women. It is a somewhat shaming term that immediately exposes an anti-feminist action. I'm sorry if you don't like that. No, actually I am not sorry at all.

But where in this thread? Really, I am thinking you are just reacting to me and not what I said. And no I have not in "every thread possible" come in to "chide you" about not forgetting men. Case in point, this thread.

I'm not sorry you can't figure out a more intelligent way to state your feelings than some internet meme. I have come to realize that you are just one of those people who flies off the handle just because you don't like someone.

[Rachel333]

Language changes. I guess some of the posters on this thread would have hated Shakespeare.

Some word mashes really bug me (for example, I'm not a fan of guesstimate or anything with -aholic, such as shopaholic or chocoholic). Others I like. I think "mansplaininig" is a great term and it implies more than just "being condescending."

Regarding the original topic, I'm definitely tired of fundies coming on here. There have been a few non-Christian fundies on here that really bugged me, but who were getting almost fawned over by other people here. Sooner or later, though, they will say something really stupid, and I love seeing FJers call them out on it.

[emmiedahl]

I am thinking you are just reacting to me and not what I said. And no I have not in "every thread possible" come in to "chide you" about not forgetting men. Case in point, this thread.

I'm not sorry you can't figure out a more intelligent way to state your feelings than some internet meme. I have come to realize that you are just one of those people who flies off the handle just because you don't like someone.

I have no personal dislike toward you.

I was not the one who used the term mansplaining, so I am not writing to defend my "flying off the handle." Several people have intelligently and eloquently explained why the term is useful and succinct. This is not the first thread in which you have showed up to tell the feminists that we are being mean to the poor men. I have not noticed your criticism of other phrases--why is it that only the one which is derogatory to men inspires you to comment? I admit that I am pulling from experience here; there was a recent thread in which you vehemently defended a belief that women cannot talk about unreasonable body expectations because in your opinion men face the same pressures. In that context, your statements that someone else should perhaps use a paragraph instead of a term with the word "man" definitely sound like "oh, the poor men".

I apologize if you are merely a speech proscriptivist who randomly chose this moment to speak up, but honestly, in the context of other posts, that is not the impression you are giving.

[Austin]

CH, here's a thought: if you don't like it, then just don't say it. Problem solved.

[StarrieEyedKat]

I'm not sorry you can't figure out a more intelligent way to state your feelings than some internet meme.

It's one thing to dislike mash up words, but I think it's quite rude to insult the intelligence of those that do use them.

[CanadianHippie]

I have no personal dislike toward you.

I was not the one who used the term mansplaining, so I am not writing to defend my "flying off the handle." Several people have intelligently and eloquently explained why the term is useful and succinct. This is not the first thread in which you have showed up to tell the feminists that we are being mean to the poor men. I have not noticed your criticism of other phrases--why is it that only the one which is derogatory to men inspires you to comment? I admit that I am pulling from experience here; there was a recent thread in which you vehemently defended a belief that women cannot talk about unreasonable body expectations because in your opinion men face the same pressures. In that context, your statements that someone else should perhaps use a paragraph instead of a term with the word "man" definitely sound like "oh, the poor men".

I apologize if you are merely a speech proscriptivist who randomly chose this moment to speak up, but honestly, in the context of other posts, that is not the impression you are giving.

This is not a thread in which I did that. You were the one who decided that an agreement with those who dislike the word meant that. I also never said it was derogatory to men. I merely said it was a word that I found childish.

And a point I don't need to make but I will. I also never said women weren't allowed to talk about unrealistic body image.

You are making claims about be that are either blatantly false, or a hyperbole of what I actually said.

[CanadianHippie]

CH, here's a thought: if you don't like it, then just don't say it. Problem solved.

Really? You really just said that?

Would to say that to someone pissed off about her husband deciding she can't work outside the home?

[Austin]

Really? You really just said that?

Would to say that to someone pissed off about her husband deciding she can't work outside the home?

Yes, I just "said" that. Really. Do you need me to write it again?

WTF does the term over which your undies are all wadded up have to do with some woman's husband being a patriarchal jerk?

[CanadianHippie]

I'm done. I can't understand how an agreement with LynnKaboom became "think of the men", and no one here seems to be able to tell me so I am just going to assume no one actually read what I wrote initially that sparked this and leave it at that. And yes, I am allowed to agree with someone, even if I'm otherwise just lurking.

[CanadianHippie]

WTF does the term over which your undies are all wadded up have to do with some woman's husband being a patriarchal jerk?

My undies are in a bunch because people have translated my dislike of the term into support for chauvinistic men, not the word itself.