Artemis (Cynthia Jeub) 2: Still Grifting

[NurseNell]

I just added a new kitten after being cat free for about 18 months. I had forgotten how expensive it is to be a pet owner, and our vet appointment isn't until tomorrow. Pets are like children, if you cannot afford them don't have them. If you have to grift for litter, cat food, cat toys, and a new cat bed that is the universe telling you no cats for you.

[front hugs > duggs]

We’ve accumulated two cats and a dog since my boyfriend turned husband have lived together. Between extensive vet bills, food, litter, needs, etc. we do feel like it contributed to not being able to buy a house sooner in our marriage. We have no regrets as we are the type of people to be completely obsessed with our furbabies, but it was something we reminded ourselves of as we compared ourselves to our friends who were buying houses sooner than us. I’m not sure I could ever justify having animals if I couldn’t easily afford rent and other basic life expenses, despite how much I love animals. 

[Jackie3]

1 hour ago, LilMissMetaphor said:

They are going to keep begging because they keep, somehow, getting their "needs met".  Another $64 magically showed up.  Art fully admits that in a few days their entire paycheck is going to rent.  So now comes the food and kitty litter beg for the entire month of October.

For someone who doesn't want to work a job, it's odd that she keeps using the word "paycheck" to describe her Patreon money. Do all Patreon users do that? 

I also notice the careful use of the word "funds." It's always "Please send funds" and never "Please send money." The word "fundraise" is used in the same way--fundraising is usually done for a charitable cause, or at least a good cause. It's usually not applied to Doordash dinners.

Why does Ryann do absolutely nothing? Doesn't seem to cook, wash dishes, worry about the bills, ask for money, etc. It's a bit like the previous partner, where Art does everything also caretakes.

Art used to earn about $1000/month from Patreon and now it's down to about $600 or so. I think it's because she's not doing much to help herself. People don't want to sign up for a lifetime of supporting someone. They want to give someone a leg up. 

Art doesn't like the phrase "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps." However the truth of it is become increasingly clear. No one else will pull you up. You don't have to pull yourself up, that's true, but no one else is going to.

[formerhsfundie]

3 hours ago, Jackie3 said:

 

Why does Ryann do absolutely nothing? Doesn't seem to cook, wash dishes, worry about the bills, ask for money, etc. It's a bit like the previous partner, where Art does everything also caretakes.

 

This. Because for the amount of caregiving she does for the partners she chooses (if what she is saying is accurate), she could be doing that as employment and getting paid. Or even a live-in situation, where she does some caretaking in exchange for rent. Also her abilities demonstrated with these personal fundraising efforts. Don't corporations and non-profits need help fundraising for their organizations? The amount of work she puts in writing her requests for "funds" could be done for other organizations. 

She must have been raised with a higher standard of living (despite working to help care for her sibs and run the home) than most people who are raised around the poverty line, because her entitlement complex is off the charts and she doesn't seem to see it. She has no idea how much worse things could get, or she would be fighting harder to get on her feet where she is now.

Final thought: I can't shake the thought that she is living this way in an adolescent "I'll show you!" attitude towards her parents. Like trying to show them how badly they ruined her, how incapable she is. She is fighting for her limitations rather than just living her own life out of the family cult. I think that's the saddest thing of all, they've still got her.

 

[Jackie3]

10 minutes ago, formerhsfundie said:

Final thought: I can't shake the thought that she is living this way in an adolescent "I'll show you!" attitude towards her parents. Like trying to show them how badly they ruined her, how incapable she is. She is fighting for her limitations rather than just living her own life out of the family cult. I think that's the saddest thing of all, they've still got her.

 

I've long maintained that she is stuck in an adolescent developmental phase. It's the only thing that would explain her short-sighted decision making. I'm sure with therapy she can move past it, but you have to want to.

[keepercjr]

On 9/24/2023 at 1:26 PM, Jackie3 said:

I honestly don't see how they are surviving, with just a few hundred dollars a month from Patreon. Most people would be frantic with worry with an income like that.

They moved into a a low income unit that takes 1/3 of your income, whatever it is.  Being in the hotel probably helped them get this because they were considered homeless.  As far as I understand it, the partner does get SSI and they get food stamps.  If Art does ever manage to get on SSI they will get a huge check because it dates back to when you first applied.

 

On 9/25/2023 at 12:04 PM, Maggie Mae said:

Would this be the blog that was "lost" before the current blog at https://artemisstardust.com/? 

There are conversations to be had here, for sure. Art is intelligent, and I think that's why they struggle so much. They are also very similar to their father, unfortunately. Unfortunately, I find it really difficult to engage or offer encouragement to people who always have an excuse as to why they can't do something or why something won't work for them. 

I also think that a person who wants to go public with their story opens themselves up to all sorts of criticism, questions, and not all of it is fair. However, I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting details regarding steps taken, though, before offering to support another human. Not because we want medical information or are just nosy, but because people want to know they aren't being scammed.  People offer advice because they care and want to help. And sometimes that advice is to think about working, or at least disclosing the disability so that people are more interested in supporting a person who can not work vs supporting a person who chooses not to work. 

There are so many jobs in their area right now. Dog walking/cat sitting/front desk/call center/entry level office work. Tons of temporary grassroots stuff. They are able to walk, so they could be paid to hand out flyers, which is at least an income. And it's pretty flexible hours. There's always selling plasma/signing up for drug trials. There's virtual assisting and copywriting work. Non-profits and giant companies. 

Here's a link to their comments a few months ago on a reddit AMA they set up. I don't hate them. I also don't think it's ableist to question why they are asking for money all the time and encourage them to try different types of jobs. Having a steady income leads to a higher quality of life - for planning, for being able to budget, to be able to feel secure for more than a few days at a time. And jobs do come with benefits. 

 

 

I remember reading that reddit post and some stuff doesn't sit right with me.  While their partner's diagnosis is serious, they aren't exactly terminal.  If I remember correctly, he said the dr told him he didn't have any permanent damage yet.  And if you can get away from the mold that was triggering it, you are good.  There may be flares and whatever, but it isn't terminal.  I live with an actual terminal illness (although some somewhat recent medications have made it more of a chronic condition for many of us).  I was on SSI and now am on social security security disability as a disabled adult dependent (since my parents get social security now).  But I do what I can.  I have had a variety of odd jobs that were part time and not every day.  I have only once (1 month) made over the threshold that I have to report.  Now I am a notary and really enjoying it.  I have thought about trying to get off of disability and getting a full time job but honestly it is so scary.  Could I actually handle it?  I am lucky that I have been able to stay home with my kids and my partner and I have never gotten married because of the stupid laws regarding disability payments.  We literally could not afford the loss of my disability income and then having to add me to his insurance. 

 

5 hours ago, front hugs > duggs said:

We’ve accumulated two cats and a dog since my boyfriend turned husband have lived together. Between extensive vet bills, food, litter, needs, etc. we do feel like it contributed to not being able to buy a house sooner in our marriage. We have no regrets as we are the type of people to be completely obsessed with our furbabies, but it was something we reminded ourselves of as we compared ourselves to our friends who were buying houses sooner than us. I’m not sure I could ever justify having animals if I couldn’t easily afford rent and other basic life expenses, despite how much I love animals. 

We consider pets for life and that includes vet bills.  We recently rescued 2 tiny sick kittens.  The neighbor who's property they were found on gave me some money for food and vet visits (very kind of her) but we have still had to spend $.  One was neutered for $30 and the other should get spayed for about that same amount.  One of them has been struggling with diarrhea the past few weeks and that was about $150 in vet/meds/testing.  We put money every paycheck into a "pet" account so that if a larger bill comes up, we don't have to figure out a way to pay for it (HUGE plug for Smartypig - I love having the ability to make different "funds" and save specifically for different bills or goals.  Bonus points for being a high yield saving account)

[Maggie Mae]

4 hours ago, formerhsfundie said:

Don't corporations and non-profits need help fundraising for their organizations? The amount of work she puts in writing her requests for "funds" could be done for other organizations. 

Just an FYI, Art prefers they/them pronouns and is undergoing hormone therapy as part of their transition. 

I agree that they could do social media work, especially for an NPO, however Seattle is a tough market to get started in and they will be looked at as "too old." And they definitely need to be able to travel and take photos. I did it for a bit and absolutely hate that type of work. It's weirdly stressful, competitive, and exhausting to constantly ask for money and post creative and interesting content. 

4 hours ago, formerhsfundie said:

She must have been raised with a higher standard of living (despite working to help care for her sibs and run the home) than most people who are raised around the poverty line, because her entitlement complex is off the charts and she doesn't seem to see it. She has no idea how much worse things could get, or she would be fighting harder to get on her feet where she is now.

They got handouts and their father thinks the universe revolves around him. Thinking the apple might not fall far from the tree. 

Things could get so much worse for them. Patreons dropped - because no one wants to subscribe to a blog that's just about someone who, frankly, isn't that interesting. If they want to make money, they should pick a topic and put work in, like other content creators. It's a ton of work and a even more luck - right topic at the right time will take off. Some people started murder podcasts too early, some too late. Some people took a concept (making recipes seen in movies/tv) and now have their name on products in stores. 

I just think that if they want subscribers, they need to offer something people want. As distasteful it is, people want details. They want sordid gossip and a full story where the person learns something or grows in the end. Educated sold well so we know there's a market for this type of non-fiction. 

[LilMissMetaphor]

The other possibility is that Ryann does have some income/help available from other sources and they are not disclosing that, or perhaps Ryann chooses to keep some back.  I say this because Art shows screenshots of their own bank stuff to "prove" that they don't have anything left.  Ryann occasionally does health updates on Caringbridge, but I don't recall reading any financial stuff directly from Ryann.  Mutually, they may not be as desperate as they indicate, and that would beg (haha) the question why does Art continue in their solicitation? In which case I'd speculate that they do indeed get a kick out of the drama and somehow "sticking it to the man" since they are so resentful of anyone who is well-off, whether it be because they worked hard or were born into it.

Just a possibility.

[Coconut Flan]

To be on SSI one truly has to have no or exceedingly low income unless one is getting cash on the down low from someone so I wouldn't expect there is a lot of extra money from that side although SSI does come with Medicaid to covver those expenses.

[QuittersTry]

On 9/25/2023 at 3:04 PM, Maggie Mae said:

Would this be the blog that was "lost" before the current blog at https://artemisstardust.com/? 

Yes. It was the blog on the domain hosted by Chris Jeub for the family/business.

Edited October 3, 2023 by QuittersTry
double quoted myself

[QuittersTry]

On 9/29/2023 at 3:23 PM, formerhsfundie said:

That's too bad. I wonder if the early material could be sorted and edited into a book? Is there enough content there? 

Yes there were hundreds of entries and pulling it together to publish was what I thought the goal was.

The project was abandoned b/c they no longer agreed with the opinions expressed and didn't want to publish mis-information. 

But to me, the value was not the topic or opinion (what), but *how* the story was told... very strong narrative voice,  interesting sentence structure, pace that moved itself forward.

The posts about writing process were equally fascinating in that entire posts were "written" mentally before coming out thru the keyboard. Final versions rarely needed editing. 

It almost archival "must read" long format blog writing from the new millennium (before vlogging, tick tock, etc.)

Edited October 3, 2023 by QuittersTry
More ideas

[QuittersTry]

100% I believe Art is disabled. They may be able to interview and secure a job, but cannot maintain stability to stay employed. Adults only "boot strap themselves" for a few weeks/months and inevitably crash and burn due to sever mental illness so many times. Then it is time to document the pattern and file for disability. CPTSD, DID, bi-polar/ manic-depression, schizoaffective disorder... many people appear to be functional on the surface but it all unravels quickly.

I have a family member who was able to live with her parents well in to adulthood, she graduated high school and nursing school, she has a small rancher that is 100% paid for. She is still disabled due to mental health conditions. It happens.

[Maggie Mae]

On 10/2/2023 at 4:30 AM, LilMissMetaphor said:

The other possibility is that Ryann does have some income/help available from other sources and they are not disclosing that, or perhaps Ryann chooses to keep some back. 

I vaguely remember a post somewhere in which Art mentioned that in order for Ryann to be approved for disability payments, he couldn't have any income for several years, and lived off family & donations. Of course I can't find to reference it. 

I'm all for UBI. But I'm also for limiting the sale of homes in the US to individuals, for the US to incentivize developers to build more than just luxury single family homes, for greater density living - especially in the western States - and a thousand other things. I think that if we did switch to a UBI of, say, average market rate for a rental unit for each head of household, it would drive housing costs up (guarantee income!) and not necessarily help with housing costs. Especially housing costs in areas like where I live, and Seattle, which are limited by geography and zoning codes. 

[HumbleJillyMuffin]

@QuittersTry just have to say I love your username! Donna "The Missus" Strauss strikes again. 

[Jackie3]

27 minutes ago, QuittersTry said:

100% I believe Art is disabled. They may be able to interview and secure a job, but cannot maintain stability to stay employed. Adults only "boot strap themselves" for a few weeks/months and inevitably crash and burn due to sever mental illness so many times. Then it is time to document the pattern and file for disability. CPTSD, DID, bi-polar/ manic-depression, schizoaffective disorder... many people appear to be functional on the surface but it all unravels quickly.

 

What diagnosis do you think Art would meet the criteria for? I imagine to get disability on mental health grounds you need a diagnosis.

I'm not challenging you, I'm genuinely curious. Do you mean a personality disorder? I've looked at all 10 and I'm not sure she'd qualify for any of them.

Anxiety and depression? She navigates the health care system, has obtained low-cost housing, utilizes food banks. . . wouldn't the disability board find her pretty  functional?

DID? She hasn't shown signs of having parts.

PTSD? It's not easy to get disability at all, and there are so many with severe sexual and physical abuse who don't qualify, so I'm not sure this would be a viable route. Maybe because I work in mental health, I've seen so many people with horrific backgrounds and terrible symptoms. Once you've seen someone having an active flashback, it's hard to forget. Mercifully, Art doesn't seem to experience these things.

Of course, you cannot diagnose someone online, but you said you think Art qualifies for disability so I imagine you have a diagnosis in mind.

[QuittersTry]

20 minutes ago, HumbleJillyMuffin said:

@QuittersTry just have to say I love your username! Donna "The Missus" Strauss strikes again. 

This makes me happy 😊 

[QuittersTry]

18 hours ago, Jackie3 said:

Of course, you cannot diagnose someone online, but you said you think Art qualifies for disability so I imagine you have a diagnosis in mind.

I purposely posted many debilitating conditions so that it was not specific and I will not speculate on Art.

Just because a person can pull themselves together for a few social media posts doesn't mean they are capable of employment (no matter how menial). If you don't understand that, then I recommend you stop following Art.

Also, full disclosure, I do not donate to Art and am not a patron.

[Giraffe]

1 hour ago, QuittersTry said:

I purposely posted many debilitating conditions so that it was not specific and I will not speculate on Art.

Just because a person can pull themselves together for a few social media posts doesn't mean they are capable of employment (no matter how menial). If you don't understand that, then I recommend you stop following Art.

Also, full disclosure, I do not donate to Art and am not a patron.

FYI, this is Trolledonna trolling. They’ve become bored in the Royals threads and are branching out to new areas. 

[formerhsfundie]

On 10/3/2023 at 11:30 AM, QuittersTry said:

Yes there were hundreds of entries and pulling it together to publish was what I thought the goal was.

The project was abandoned b/c they no longer agreed with the opinions expressed and didn't want to publish mis-information. 

Thanks for that information! I didn't know they had abandoned it due to the content itself. Personally, I was hanging around as a reader ready to buy the book, because I thought they were going to tell their story. Sounds like that's over, so I guess I have to move on.

Watching someone with so many abilities and gifts live this way is disconcerting. That's the part that confuses me. There are so many skills involved in running a blog, an email newsletter, and posting regularly on social media sites. I get that work is hard, but so is living in abject poverty.

How is this not a lifestyle choice, just like Boomer fundies raising their children in some experimental way? To me it looks like the next generation of the same thing.

 

[Jackie3]

On 10/4/2023 at 10:02 AM, QuittersTry said:

I purposely posted many debilitating conditions so that it was not specific and I will not speculate on Art.

Just because a person can pull themselves together for a few social media posts doesn't mean they are capable of employment (no matter how menial). If you don't understand that, then I recommend you stop following Art.

Also, full disclosure, I do not donate to Art and am not a patron.

Don't sell Art short! That would be really unfair to her, imo.

I see Art as an intelligent person who can function very well, given her history. She's shown herself, again and again, to function within the system quite well.

It may not be good enough for you, but she gets things done. She has rented apartments, gone to food banks, she cooks, maintains personal hygiene, has moved several times, cares for her partners, navigates the healthcare system, makes it therapist appointments, etc.

You minimize all this by calling her "disabled." What exactly are you expecting from someone with no education or family support?

She may not be as functional as you'd like her to be. But to say you are "100% sure she's disabled"? That's minimizing her accomplishments. 

 

 

 

I'd like to add that being poor does not mean you are disabled. There are many people living in Art's low-income housing, and all of them are not disabled, I'm sure. 

It's a good idea to check your assumptions and privileges on this matter. People make a lot of assumptions about poverty and disability, but these can be hurtful and wrong.

[LilMissMetaphor]

Fish oil and acetaminophen are on the griftlist today.

[Coconut Flan]

9 minutes ago, LilMissMetaphor said:

Fish oil and acetaminophen are on the griftlist today.

That reminds me that Amazon subscribe and save cancelled an item for next week.  However, I'm not sure what they cancelled because what they say they cancelled is something I would never buy.  I only had five items on the list so it should hopefully pop to the top of my mind soon what is really missing.   

[formerhsfundie]

32 minutes ago, LilMissMetaphor said:

Fish oil and acetaminophen are on the griftlist today.

Yesterday it was CBD oil for their partner. Still baffling to me that said partner cannot ask for their own pain meds, if that is what is required. Instead Art is putting themselves on the line. A choice, to be sure. 

And every day they live beyond their means is another day they need to beg online for more funds for their alternative lifestyle (read: not working) from the general public. Every time they ask for something not related to rent or cat supplies, I know those posts are coming down the line in a few days or weeks. The requests are never going to end, there is no plan in place to get off the grifting train.  If this doesn't change soon, I predict that when the internet gets cut off for good the begging will move to the street with a cardboard sign. 

My ex had all sorts of personality issues that caused him to be fired from job after job after job. It was very aggravating, but he kept working even if it meant getting hired at a new place. Lots of interviews, lots of rejection. Art's not even trying to find a good fit. Their post on modifying the kitchen to enable dishwashing shows that they can be creative at adapting to new challenges.

I strongly believe the reason Art isn't working is not because they aren't able, but because they aren't trying. You can't get hired if you don't apply. You can't find out that it isn't a fit if you don't try working. Like a kid who refuses to eat a new food because they "know they won't like it" without ever trying it. 
 

[Maggie Mae]

Okay I agree that unemployed people need to have leisure activites, but there are plenty of free and low cost options. I would never expect people to fund my hobbies. 

And sure, maybe we could be better at elevating everyone's quality of life. How long before we start to hear about how the studio apartment doesn't work for them and they actually need 3 bedrooms and two bathrooms, recessed lighting and heated floors? 

Books, movies, shows, music are all free at the library. 

[Coconut Flan]

I gave up quite a few things to be able to send my kids to college.  I guess they'd think that was fine if they were on the receiving end.  The lack of being in touch with reality, the lack of a sense of being responsible for themselves, and the entitlement show they have not shed the fundie grifting roots at all. Sadly plenty of people give up, skimp on, or thrift many of those things every day to be able to pay the rent and other bills.  What reasonable people are doing is not begging for Door Dash money.  I doubt they planned to order a "healthy" dinner from Door Dash.