Dillards 93: Counting the Cost - Indeed

[sndral]

3 hours ago, postscript said:

Jim Bob, shut up about the pants already. It has nothing to do with modesty and everything to do with your need for absolute control over your family. What you really want is a family cult with yourself at the head. 

At this point, the five oldest girls have all worn pants in public. The only reason the younger four haven’t is because they’re still under Jim Bob’s roof. Of the daughters in law, I think only Anna and Kendra haven’t been spotted in pants, and Anna has let Mackenzie wear pants. JB has lost that battle. 

Even before Jill’s book, I would have been willing to bet Jim Bob played inheritance games, how will he know if some kid has read Jill’s book? What if they don’t read it now, but read it in a couple of years? At some point, some of the kids will get tired of the constant you’re in-you’re out games and say “screw it, we don’t care of you cut us out of your will. Stop playing head games.” I would not be surprised if there’s a will contest when he dies. 

Yes. In the US you can leave your money however you want. He could leave it all to one kid, or to Michelle, or to charity. No matter what he ultimately decides, given the number of kids, I think there will be family infighting at his death. 

Anna has been photographed in pants, there’s a photo of her on an outing at Silver Dollar City(?) in jeans shortly after the conviction & another of her in black pants visiting Josh in prison.

[Coconut Flan]

1 hour ago, nolongerIFBx said:

without confirming with their legal department that it was discoverable under FOIA

The sad part is that they did consult their legal department and also a lawyer in Little Rock who had some official connection.  Due to that I never, ever expected the releasers to be held responsible.  They had evidence that they were trying to follow the law.  That the lawyers apparently had tunnel vision limited to FOIA is very disturbing.

[Cults-r-us]

On 9/19/2023 at 3:33 PM, sixcatatty said:

I'm closer with the three women who are my sisters from other misters than I am my blood sibling. 

My siblings are nice, but we are all polar opposites and have nothing in common. We have cordial, but not close, relationships.

[Bobology]

<No longer relevant>

Edited September 21, 2023 by Bobology
unneccesary

[Antipatriarch]

6 hours ago, Cam said:

JB confronts her for wearing pants. She was 26, married, with two kids. She mentions that because of the “Google alerts Pops had set up to monitor anything and everything posted about the family”, he learned she’d worn pants in public after someone posted a pants photo of her online. 

He asked to speak with her. “Mom wasn’t there, neither was Derick. I followed Pops up to his and Mom’s bedroom, the scene where all the most serious conversations always took place.”

Like she was a child. UGH!

[nolongerIFBx]

1 hour ago, Coconut Flan said:

The sad part is that they did consult their legal department and also a lawyer in Little Rock who had some official connection.  Due to that I never, ever expected the releasers to be held responsible.  They had evidence that they were trying to follow the law.  That the lawyers apparently had tunnel vision limited to FOIA is very disturbing.

That is disturbing.

But then my family is trying to prove that all four children of my grandparents aren't dead since the lawyer marked them all as deceased when turning in their inheritance paperwork to the state. Now they have to determine if there is enough of an inheritance to pay a lawyers to make them undead so they can inherit. 💀

Some lawyers aren't very good lawyers.

Edited September 21, 2023 by nolongerIFBx

[sixcatatty]

21 hours ago, Father Son Holy Goat said:

Does she want a good relationship with her parents or does she need that to continue to see her former buddies? There is a significant difference.Se

We've been exploring something close in therapy. If I had cut off my mother and brother, I would also have cut off my father and grandmother. I couldn't do that.

[Brittany15]

I went online to check in the status of my copy from the library. I noticed that my expected wait time had decreased significantly. Then I noticed there were a lot more copies of the book now. So I guess this book is popular enough that my library is acquiring more and more copies. I wonder how much money Jill is going to make. 

[viii]

And it's an incredibly easy read. I read it in a day. 

[noseybutt]

On 9/20/2023 at 1:42 PM, Father Son Holy Goat said:

I read on Facebook that Jim Bob is threatening to disinherit any of the kids who read Jill’s book. I don’t trust the source but it wouldn’t surprise me if there were threats.

I am laughing not because the threat of disinheritance is funny, but at JB’s desperation.

[Fun-Dee]

I wouldn't actually do it, but it would be worth the money to send an anonymous gift of a book to a certain address in Arkansas!

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, Fun-Dee said:

I wouldn't actually do it, but it would be worth the money to send an anonymous gift of a book to a certain address in Arkansas!

I bet he’s reading it. Or reading a very thorough description. Controlling assholes must know what’s being written about them.

[Coconut Flan]

Anyone with Google alerts for all his family members did a pre-order the first second that he could.

[Giraffe]

17 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

Anyone with Google alerts for all his family members did a pre-order the first second that he could.

Yeah, that’s some first rate stalker shit right there. 

[Baba O'Riley]

Jill's book is No. 2 on the new NY Times Best Seller list for non-fiction.  It is the October 1 list, which has just been published on their site.  Interesting that Jill's book is classified as "Non-Fiction", whereas Jinger's book was classified as "Advice, How-To, and Miscellaneous."    https://www.nytimes.com/books/best-sellers/combined-print-and-e-book-nonfiction/?smid=url-share

Edited September 22, 2023 by Baba O'Riley

[Father Son Holy Goat]

3 hours ago, Fun-Dee said:

I wouldn't actually do it, but it would be worth the money to send an anonymous gift of a book to a certain address in Arkansas!

I’m tempted to send a copy (or 10) to a certain Texas correctional facility. 

[St.Clara]

7 hours ago, Baba O&#x27;Riley said:

Jill's book is No. 2 on the new NY Times Best Seller list for non-fiction.  It is the October 1 list, which has just been published on their site.  Interesting that Jill's book is classified as "Non-Fiction", whereas Jinger's book was classified as "Advice, How-To, and Miscellaneous."    https://www.nytimes.com/books/best-sellers/combined-print-and-e-book-nonfiction/?smid=url-share

How is there a October 1 list? In my part of the world it is September 22.

(I do know that there is a time difference between Europe and the US but that much time?)

[Kiki03910]

The thought of a father taking his adult daughter into his bedroom for a talk about her "slutty" clothing choices makes me want to run screaming into the night. Why is it always women's fault that men have naughty thoughts? Why do the women have to cover up? How about we lock up the motherfuckers who allege they can't help themselves? JFC.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, Kiki03910 said:

The thought of a father taking his adult daughter into his bedroom for a talk about her "slutty" clothing choices makes me want to run screaming into the night. Why is it always women's fault that men have naughty thoughts? Why do the women have to cover up? How about we lock up the motherfuckers who allege they can't help themselves? JFC.

Because the people in power under patriarchy are men. And men don’t want to take responsibility for themselves. So they blame women. They also blame children for their sinful natures. And that’s why those kids need to be beaten into submission. And then they blame Satan when they lose a job or don’t have enough money to feed their 19 kids. They basically blame everyone else (including a mythical being) for all the problems. But never themselves. 

[Cam]

I can’t imagine being taught from a very young age that men have sex on the brain at all times and therefore all my actions must be done with that in mind so as not to tempt all of them. Because the message is that ALL men are like that. It is pounded into the female fundie brain. When Jill had a discussion with Derick about wearing  pants, she writes that part of his response was, “Seeing a woman wearing pants doesn’t make me have bad thoughts.”

She also mentions that at the start of the conversation, Derick was watching a replay of an OSU game on tv. It makes me think she added that detail to show Derick is just a normal guy doing guy stuff and isn’t like JB who is obsessed with his image, fame, money, control.

Edited September 22, 2023 by Cam

[Giraffe]

 

28 minutes ago, Cam said:

I can’t imagine being taught from a very young age that men have sex on the brain at all times and therefore all my actions must be done with that in mind so as not to tempt all of them. Because the message is that ALL men are like that. It is pounded into the female fundie brain.

It’s its own abuse.

And then when men or boys (brothers or fathers) assault their sisters or daughters it creates even more blame and shame in the women or girls than it already would in a non fundy. It’s utterly disgusting and JB (and Gil Bates and so many other parents teaching this same mindf*) ought to be ashamed of themselves! 

Edited September 22, 2023 by Giraffe

[JermajestyDuggar]

I watch the movie “Women Talking.” It’s about a colony of people who are meant to look similar to old order mennonite because the true events it was based on took place in a mennonite colony in Bolivia. In the movie, it’s made obvious how these women became such easy targets of rape. They aren’t allowed any independence, they aren’t allowed any power, they can’t share their opinions, they can’t read, they just do as they are told. They are gaslit to believe they are imagining things. They are blamed for their own assaults. They are so isolated they have no where to go if they do want to escape. It’s basically an extreme version of what you see in these fundie circles where sexual assault runs rampant. 

[TN-peach]

2 hours ago, Cam said:

I can’t imagine being taught from a very young age that men have sex on the brain at all times and therefore all my actions must be done with that in mind so as not to tempt all of them. Because the message is that ALL men are like that. It is pounded into the female fundie brain. When Jill had a discussion with Derick about wearing  pants, she writes that part of his response was, “Seeing a woman wearing pants doesn’t make me have bad thoughts.”

She also mentions that at the start of the conversation, Derick was watching a replay of an OSU game on tv. It makes me think she added that detail to show Derick is just a normal guy doing guy stuff and isn’t like JB who is obsessed with his image, fame, money, control.

Thank goodness it was a replay and not live.  Because in my house, if you asked me a question that you wanted a real serious answer to during a game I may not answer (my poor family but they still love me).  My kids might be better off asking Mr.Peach than me because I am too busy yelling at the refs on the tv and pacing with nervous energy.  Or I will say, "hey its a commercial, what were you asking me?").

[OldFadedStar]

Something interesting I found in the book in comparison to what we have discussed here is Jill driving Derrick to and from work. I found it interesting that we were saying it’s because she is a clinger and so on whereas she is saying she did that so the two of them could get some alone time to talk due to the crazy demands of filming. 

[Cam]

48 minutes ago, OldFadedStar said:

Something interesting I found in the book in comparison to what we have discussed here is Jill driving Derrick to and from work. I found it interesting that we were saying it’s because she is a clinger and so on whereas she is saying she did that so the two of them could get some alone time to talk due to the crazy demands of filming. 

Yes, when I read that, it made a lot of sense. My husband and I, married for decades, still have good discussions driving in the car. Something about being alone together, side by side, both looking out into the same direction, less distractions, seems to lend itself to these conversations. We still have plenty of times where we just to listen to the radio or not even talk, too. 

Edited September 22, 2023 by Cam