Bro Gary Hawkins 22: The Church of Random and Unnecessary Capitalization

[thoughtful]

13 hours ago, Xan said:

Hey -- if putting Trump in jail will bring on the Rapture, I'm good with that. 

I am, as well.

Of course, Gary lives in his own time warp world. He could be referring to the indictments against Trump as the "things going on," or news related to Pride month, or them damn hippies with their long hair, or kids not going to church every day, or any number of things.

[shesinsane]

15 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary doesn't understand why people are surprised at all of the "things going on." Haven't they heard about the  imminent Rapture?

"History is repeating itself" in the way that people have been incorrectly predicting the end of the world since 1 AD?

[thoughtful]

Just Gary being Gary, thinking about Sodom and Gomorrah, death, and other pleasantries:

Spoiler

And re-posting an old advertisement for the "college:"

Spoiler

 

[thoughtful]

Gary's persecution fantasies and bad English continue:

"Forsake" is the word you want, Gary - "forsaken" doesn't make it fancier - just wrong.

Also, "might night" is interesting. Is that a voice-to-text issue or Garyism - who can tell?

And, of course, he's thrown in some apostrophe abuse, and expecting people to read his mind because he didn't bother to finish a thought. "I know we are the Church" is his way of acknowledging that it's the people that make the church, not the building, but he insists they have to gather in one place anyway, because Hebrews 10:25.

[Xan]

The way I read it, @thoughtful, was "I know WE are in the church."  He might've just left the "in" part out of the sentence.  (He was probably thinking "Nanny, nanny, boo, boo -- we're in church so that makes us better than you.")  And he doesn't ever proof read as far as I can tell.  The "might night" was probably "might not" but Gary never bothered to look at what he was dictating.  

Who is this "they" who are coming to close the church doors?  We've heard this one forever.  Those doors still seem to stay open.  Also, for all the years that Gary has been listening to sermons and giving them, he never improves as a person.  That's not a ringing endorsement for church attendance.

Edited June 11, 2023 by Xan

[postscript]

This one confused me more than Gary’s usual gobbledegook (Garydegook?). Not because I couldn’t figure out his meaning, but because he sounds as though there’s a strong possibility all churches will be closed in a week. Why? Is he privy to inside information? Is there some pending legislation or potential natural disaster that hasn’t made the news? Otherwise, there’s no evidence that houses of worship of any religion are in danger of closing. Perhaps I don’t frequent the right conspiracy theory websites. 

[thoughtful]

Guys, guys, guys - it may be more of a reason to feel shame than pride, but trust me on this one - these are both ancient Gary tropes, and I know them well.

@postscript, as @Xan said, Gary has been screaming about the imminent closure of churches for years - it's part of the basic persecution narrative. Covid gave him and some of his paranoid ilk a new twist on it for a while, but the idea that Christianity will be forbidden, and that it's coming any second now, or even already happening, is basic to them.

Because anyone other than a rabid right-winger in office might as well be a Communist, in their eyes, and those Commies shut down all of the churches. Also, it's a sign of the imminent Rapture. And, since the Rapture is coming any minute, the closing of churches has to happen soon.

I think the need to blast out these ideas is never based on any actual news or new information with people like Gary - they just need to let it out now and then, like the rest of us sneeze, burp or fart.

And @Xan, I'm about 99% sure of my interpretation of the "we are the church" (not to be confused with We Are the World) bit.

Believe me, I wish I hadn't heard both of those so many, many, many times.

1 hour ago, Xan said:

The "might night" was probably "might not"

That's what I figured, as well. I always wonder about the mix of things that look like talk-to-text and the capitalization - doesn't he have to be typing/thumbing something to get his chosen incorrect capital letters?

Does he dictate, and then go back and change those things, but never notice his actual errors? Does predictive text start capitalizing incorrectly based on the individual's usage, after a while? That's an area about which I am clueless.

[AmazonGrace]

It could depend on the settings on your individual device but my phone occasionally suggests some typos that I have made previously.

[marmalade]

8 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Just Gary being Gary, thinking about Sodom and Gomorrah, death, and other pleasantries:

  Hide contents

And re-posting an old advertisement for the "college:"

  Hide contents

 

The King James college was founded by Lebron? 😀

Edited June 11, 2023 by marmalade

[thoughtful]

2 hours ago, marmalade said:

The King James college was founded by Lebron? 😀

Spoiler

 

[thoughtful]

Gary must have gotten this from some other bigot, since the spelling and grammar seem to be correct.

Spoiler

Also, a church needs a van. That Gary, he works so hard for others - his thumbs must be exhausted.

Spoiler

 

[AmazonGrace]

It is our duty to reach people so give us a van. Please pray, so Jesus can tell you to give us your van. For free. Y'all in the other churches can reach your people without our free van. Hallelujah, amen. 

 

[thoughtful]

From most people, I'd consider this sweet. From Gary, I can't help wondering if Becky has gotten more bad health news, or thinking he's angling for a homemade Chinese dinner:

Spoiler

 

[Xan]

Maybe he didn't initially agree to stop the traveling ministry and Becky threatened to divorce him.  It sounds to me as if he's still skating on thin ice with her.  Gary, finally contemplating his remaining lifetime without weenie gravy and homemade Chinese food, may still be trying to curry favor.

[thoughtful]

Sound advice here - after all, don't you want your children to turn out just like Becky and Gary?

[AmazonGrace]

I know what they're not being taught as well. Grammar and punctuation.

[AmazonGrace]

If you want to parent in a biblical manner, this is what Mary and Joseph were like:  (Luke 2)

 

Quote

41 Now his parents went to Jerusalem every year at the feast of the passover.

42 And when he was twelve years old, they went up to Jerusalem after the custom of the feast.

43 And when they had fulfilled the days, as they returned, the child Jesus tarried behind in Jerusalem; and Joseph and his mother knew not of it.

44 But they, supposing him to have been in the company, went a day's journey; and they sought him among their kinsfolk and acquaintance.

45 And when they found him not, they turned back again to Jerusalem, seeking him.

46 And it came to pass, that after three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the doctors, both hearing them, and asking them questions.

Jesus's parents left a twelve-year-old alone, among strangers,  in a strange city, and didn't even realize that they had misplaced a child for a day.

 

[Alisamer]

People like Gary are all up in arms about marriage being something God invented and blessed and all that, but I'm pretty sure the concept is much much older. And that it wasn't "one man and one woman" until well after Jesus' time in many areas. And that the original purpose had nothing to do with church and lots to do with political alliances. Even now the church is just optionally involved, in the US. It's a legal contract, and can be done in the courthouse, or literally anywhere with someone authorized to officiate and witnesses to sign the document.

I think the world would be a better place if at some point the early church had come up with a different name for the religious ceremony joining people. It's having "marriage" cover both the religious ceremony (which really ought to just be a blessing, IMO) and the legal contract. 

Also, Gary is divorced. As is Becky.

Not saying divorced people don't have the right to opinions. But if you're going to go freaking out about other people marrying someone you wouldn't, using a religion that frowns on divorce, maybe don't go throwing stones there, glass-house-dweller.

[AmazonGrace]

Gary:

Quote

Ok folks you remember Abraham

Also Gary:

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Marriage is NOT 3 or more people.

Abraham:

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6 But unto the sons of the concubines, which Abraham had, Abraham gave gifts, and sent them away from Isaac his son, while he yet lived, eastward, unto the east country.

 

[thoughtful]

19 hours ago, Alisamer said:

People like Gary are all up in arms about marriage being something God invented and blessed and all that, but I'm pretty sure the concept is much much older. And that it wasn't "one man and one woman" until well after Jesus' time in many areas

I agree - I'm sure you've all seen the biblical marriage chart:

Spoiler

But, as ever, people like Gary think they have that covered. They claim that God invented marriage by creating only Adam and Eve to start the human race. One man, one woman, no ceremony needed - that proves it.

Somehow.

[AmazonGrace]

Anyone know where Cain's,wife came from?

[thoughtful]

8 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

Anyone know where Cain's,wife came from?

Oh, details, details!  😁

I have heard a few young earth types tackle that. Answers in Genesis, for example:

Quote

The simple answer is that Cain married his sister or another close relation, like a niece. This answer may sound revolting for those of us who grew up in societies that have attached a stigma to such an idea, but if we start from Scripture, the answer is clear.

1 Corinthians 15:45 tells us that Adam was “the first man.” Genesis 3:20 states that Eve “was the mother of all the living” (NASB), and Genesis 5:4 reveals that Adam and Eve “had sons and daughters” (besides Cain, Abel, and Seth).

There were no other people on earth as some have claimed. God did not create other people groups from which Cain chose a wife, as we are all made of one blood (Acts 17:26). If He had made others, these people would not have been able to be saved from their sins, since only descendants of Adam can be saved—that’s why it was so important for Jesus to be Adam’s descendant.

It goes on to say that the taboo and laws against incest only came up due to genetic impurity - back then, there was no problem with it, because harmful mutations only developed after many generations. 

They need to believe that every human is a descendant of Adam, in order to be eligible to be saved by Jesus.

It ends with:

Quote

Also, it is rather ironic for evolutionary skeptics to mock the biblical position that all people are descendants of the first man and woman. These evolutionists believe that all living organisms are descendants of the first living cell that somehow sprang to life from non-living material.

When we start from Scripture, it is easy to see who Cain’s wife was. God’s Word has the answer to this question and so many others like it; we just need to trust what He has revealed.

https://answersingenesis.org/bible-characters/cain/who-was-cains-wife/

Creation Ministries International goes into even more idiotic detail:

https://creation.com/who-was-cains-wife

[thoughtful]

I hadn't looked at the Family Baptist Facebook page in a while, so I checked out a few pre-service socializing moments.

On June 4, Gary carried a little girl over to Becky, and handed the child to her:

Spoiler

 

Their granddaughter, perhaps? This was right after he posted about being about to spend four (and a half!) days with her. Becky dandles the child on her lap - we lose sight of them when the camera zooms in for the service.

I fast-forwarded through that service, and happened to stop to listen to a bit of the pastor's message. I found out where Gary got his "you're not against cross-dressing if you think it's OK for women to wear pants" crap (not that he didn't already feel that way, but I suspect that the pastor lit a fire under him with this message).

When claiming that Jesus had short hair, he says that the painter had long hair, so that's how he painted Jesus. And he launches into an offensive and inaccurate little routine about artists making their subjects look like themselves:

Quote

Go into any ethnic church in the world, when they paint Jesus, guess how they make him look. He was not black, he was not white, he was Jewish. But depending on what church you go into, they'll make him look like that.

When I was in Korea - I spent a year in Korea in the Army - and you could get a painting done pretty cheaply - they had artists there, and uh - everything was cheap. A custom-made suit, where you walked in and picked out 'I want that suit in the magazine, made out of this material,' they measure you 42 ways, a custom-made suit was fifty dollars. Custom-made, you pick out the material, pick out the style, fifty dollars, very inexpensive.

So, I took a picture of our family to the painting shop, 'Hey, I want a picture of my family.'  And, uh, 'OK,' I don't know how much - forty, fifty dollars, whatever - and, uh, guess how we look?

Oriental!

(the congregation laughs - he gestures at someone and asks)

Am I right? You look at the picture, and it's like yup! Our eyes are a little more slanted, how come? 'Cause the Koreans were painting us and just made us a little more Oriental, OK?

 

Spoiler

He goes on to reassure them that there is no judgement there, if a woman has shaved her head nobody there will shame her.

But women shouldn't shave their heads or have short hair, and men shouldn't have long hair.

Because bible.

Then he tries to explain chromosomes, and how any gender issues are like deformities.

Oh, and:

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Looking at the numbers that they say, the homosexual  crowd is growing, doubling per decade.

He says that's not what God intended, and tries again to be scientific, claiming:

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There's some messed up things that we are doing, in society and in life, and I believe also in chemicals. Hey, if you eat food that has so much ingested female estrogen inside of it, you think that might change some of you?

He goes on to be a nasty bigot, then to claim that he loves all of these damaged people, and boasts about how he has helped so many of them in his prison ministry. He reminds them to boycott "woke" businesses.

There's more, but I lost my patience. This guy is one of those slimy preachers who is just so sure of himself, slick and confident and trying to sound educated.

Blech.

 

Edited June 15, 2023 by thoughtful

[Black Aliss]

1 hour ago, thoughtful said:

Then he tries to explain chromosomes, and how any gender issues are like deformities.

But I thought God doesn't make mistakes! So any deformity be it a club foot or a genital mismatch isn't a mistake, it's all part of God's perfect plan. So are these people against surgery to correct a club foot, a cleft palate, or a hole in the heart, as well?

[thoughtful]

More on Becky and Gary's current pastor, David Baker:

It looks like he is connected with David Hyles' FIG bed and breakfast for fallen pastors (where Gary, Becky and Jacob once house-and-donkey-sat).

Looks like he covered up for a molester in his previous church:

Quote

Columbia-native Ray Jeter, a past member of Lighthouse Baptist Church, spoke out in support of Aimee Spires, 32, who experienced sexual assault at the hands of a church member years ago.

Spires says she felt then pastor of the church David Baker, now a candidate for mayor, "threw me away," by standing by the perpetrator.

In response, Baker released a video on Facebook titled, "A Big Lie," calling Spires not a credible source.

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Spires recently shared her experience with The Daily Herald that she experienced sexual assault from age 11 to 13 years old after taking a babysitting job at a fellow church member's home. 

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Spires says that when she told Baker about the sexual assault, he asked her not to report it but to allow it to be taken care of in the church.

Baker has refuted Spires' claim, emphasizing that he cooperated with police at the time.

Past Lighthouse Baptist Church member James Earl Lovett was charged, pled guilty, and was convicted in 2004 of sexual battery and aggravated sexual battery, a Class E Felony against Spires who was then 13 years old. He is on the Tennessee child sex offender registry as of 2021. 

Lovett currently attends Family Baptist Church in Columbia. 

Spires said Lovett began making sexual advances by touching her breasts and backside, which progressed she said. 

Lovett confessed to Baker, according to an August 2003 report by the Columbia Police Department.

“James Lovett was confronted by the pastor of Lighthouse Baptist Church David Baker and James Lovett did confess to pastor David Baker that he had assaulted [redacted] on Aug. 19, 2003,” the police report says.

Spires says that when she told Baker about the sexual assault, he asked her not to report it, but to allow it to be taken care of in the church.

Baker responded last week.

“Absolutely not,” Baker said. “I have turned in probably more people with my job in what I do to the authorities than just about anyone.”

“The allegation came that Mr. Lovett touched her outside of her clothes, and I asked him what happened and he verified exactly what she told me. When I asked her what she wanted me to do, she said nothing, just have him not come around me. At the time, I did not think that was something that needed to be reported because the allegation was touched outside of clothes,” Baker said. 

Baker’s affiliation with Indiana pastor David Hyles, who has been accused of raping a 15-year-old while he was a youth pastor, has also been questioned.

Hyles has never been charged.

Baker confirmed that he runs a ministry with Hyles, Fallen in Grace, which includes a retreat center called The Red Barn in Georgia. According to the website, all donations for Fallen in Grace go to Baker's current church at a P.O. Box. Baker confirmed that donations go directly to the Fallen in Grace fund.

Hyles is the son of the founder of Hyles-Anderson College, an unaccredited private Independent Baptist college, which Baker attended.

 

Baker offers classes as part of an Independent Baptist Online College, serves as pastor of Family Baptist Church, 1562 Old Hwy 99 Columbia, and operates the family life coaching ministry, Baker Bunch Family Ministry through Baker Bunch LLC, which he said the “LLC” has recently been removed.

Baker also operates the Onesimus Discipleship Program, a home for men who are trying to get back on their feet after serving time in jail. He has served as a volunteer at the Maury County Jail for 28 years and was the past chaplain of the Maury County Jail.

https://www.columbiadailyherald.com/story/news/2022/08/02/past-lighthouse-church-member-shows-support-sexual-assault-victim/10216937002/

He ran for mayor of his county (I didn't know counties could have mayors - I'm such a city kid) and lost.

https://www.yahoo.com/now/sheila-butt-takes-lead-maury-004914840.html

He is associated with an online bible college - uh, oh, Gary - competition for the newly-formed King James College!

https://www.ibaptistcollege.org/faculty/dr-david-baker/