Bro Gary Hawkins 22: The Church of Random and Unnecessary Capitalization

[thoughtful]

And, another fight has broken out, under Gary's latest post. Gary jumps to immediate conclusions about (I assume) a total stranger, Warren is sometimes a victim of predictive text and homonyms, as well as Gary's scorn:

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[Xan]

Oh -- Gary KNOWS what God said.  Hello, Gary's ego! We see you!

Gary's 1611 KJV Bible God -- who also is against nekkidness, against music with a beat, against women in pants or in the pulpit -- says that none of this matters if you don't have your butt in the pew on Sunday morning.  And that's why Gary is better than everybody else.  He always finds a pew on Sunday morning.  His deity takes attendance.

Somebody said this about Pat Robertson earlier -- going to hell was too easy.  It would be better for Pat to wake up in a heaven where there were rainbow flags everywhere and someone greeted him by gifting him a rainbow boa to wear.  Drag queens absolutely everywhere!  Pat's confusion would be glorious.  So would Gary's.  I think the icing on the cake would be if God was a woman.

[Mrs Ms]

31 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

And, another fight has broken out, under Gary's latest post. Gary jumps to immediate conclusions about (I assume) a total stranger, Warren is sometimes a victim of predictive text and homonyms, as well as Gary's scorn:

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WHY is Warren grovelling to Gary??? Like if he just says the magic access-codes, Gary will realise that Warren actually also is a pRopEr ChrIsTian™️ 🤢

[AmazonGrace]

Gary was born to be the judge and the journey.

[thoughtful]

11 hours ago, Xan said:

  I think the icing on the cake would be if God was a woman.

I like the idea of a gender-fluid God greeting these shitwads. Can't tell if God is male or female, guys? Live with it.

9 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

Gary was born to be the judge and the journey.

Well, he certainly is a trip.

 

May I remind everyone that Gary and Becky missed at least one church service recently. I suspect it was because either he or Becky was in pain.

Another attacker, who doesn't appear to have read anything Warren wrote, chimes in:

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I wonder if they, or Gary, will bother to go after this person, as well:

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[AmazonGrace]

Romance Reader's Dictionary:

Heiressy: When the society shuns the heroine because her relatives made her money in the wrong trade

[Hane]

12 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

Gary was born to be the judge and the journey.

We have a new thread title right here! Mods, please take note!

[thoughtful]

Gary is a nasty piece of shit. But you knew that.

[thoughtful]

Gary and Becky were in church on Sunday morning. Gary still has his little knee-bike device next to him. At the end of the service, Becky walks around him to the aisle, looking miserable, and he just sits there. I figure she needed the ladies' room and he wanted to wait for the aisle to clear before trying to leave, but it really made it look like she'd had it with him and couldn't bear to be beside him for another second.

If only.

On Sunday evening, Becky waits with Gary, and they still haven't left when the camera cuts off. 

Welcome to the world of chronic discomfort, disability, and devices, Becky and Gary. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, not even you two. But maybe, if it continues for both of you for a while, you'll go easier on people like Warren and Ginger, your commenters who are in pain or have a loved one in pain, and don't always shlep their bodies to a physical church.

Comments have continued. Ginger actually let Gary guilt-trip her, and Gary chickened out on arguing with Aaron publicly.

Gary, you're no warrior for Christ - you're just a petty, pissy child-man.

 

[AmazonGrace]

When Jesus went to the temple he vandalized the furniture. Be like Jesus. 

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12 And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves,

Otherwise it wasn't so much that Jesus went to church to listen to the preachers but the people came to Jesus to listen to him.

[thoughtful]

On and on it goes:

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I wonder if and when they'll realize they are wasting their time talking to Gary.

[thoughtful]

Gary has an answer for the idea that churches didn't exist until Constantine. I didn't know tabernacles and temples had basements in those days. Anyway, his point seems to be that, even in those times, they had buildings.

 

[Xan]

Seems a bit dicey to put basements under the temples in an arid land with sandy soil but then I haven't studied the KJV Bible like Gary has.  Maybe there's a whole section somewhere in Exodus.

I'm still mulling over Gary telling someone to get off his Facebook page.  He really is a pissy little man, isn't he?  I wonder if he'd be slightly less hateful if he didn't have his belt cinched in so tight and his necktie choking him.  Maybe his boots are too tight.  

It did occur to me that he's milking the knee injury for all it's worth.  I think he's just done taking care of Becky and has decided that he needs pampering instead.  I bet he's making her drive him around and now he just can't help do anything.  How convenient.

[AmazonGrace]

Quote

Gary Hawkins

I hope y'all that believe we don't have to go to Church don't treat your wife like y'all do GOD

well I mean, if DH  treated me like church and visited me for a couple of hours every Sunday I wouldn't be super happy

[thoughtful]

10 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

well I mean, if DH  treated me like church and visited me for a couple of hours every Sunday I wouldn't be super happy

Don't forget - he'd have to come home on Wednesday evenings, too!

[thoughtful]

I guess Gary just felt the need to a little more self-righteous lecturing before bedtime:

He and Becky were in church last night. I can't tell if he was using his scooter, since I only got a glimpse of them, on an outside edge of the seating.

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[AmazonGrace]

Some things could be at pretty. We just don't know yet.

[thoughtful]

The church argument continued - somebody hasn't yet realized that answering Gary is a lost cause.

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[AmazonGrace]

So, Gary is saying God does NOT reside inside him.

Yeah, that checks out.

[thoughtful]

Are you continuing for the fave? Are you one of the so call people of GOD? Do you know how to use punctuation?

[thoughtful]

And, in the category of Least Self Awareness, the award goes to . . .

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George thought it wasn't offensive enough (the "like" is from Gary):

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They are so childish, in their attempts to seem manly.

ETA - just saw the attribution at the bottom of that Boyz not Men screed:

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Dick Dix - how fitting.

 

Edited June 24, 2023 by thoughtful

[AmazonGrace]

So whose kids are the godly men raising, apart from their own? Is adoption now mandatory or does KJV no longer say that whosoever married her that divorced committed adultery?

[thoughtful]

Charles had this comment on Gary's post about the devil sitting in the back pews:

Never mind the needless apostrophe, are there rolls to sit on in church? Sounds unsanitary. Maybe they are fake food, like these:

 

https://www.trendhunter.com/slideshow/foodshaped-furniture

https://www.homecrux.com/15-drool-worthy-furniture-pieces-in-shape-of-your-favorite-food/32767/

[thoughtful]

At Family Baptist this morning, it looks like a new family has come to church. How can I tell? I noticed someone ushering them to seating:
 

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And then I saw the woman's outfit:

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On the way out:

Lady, you will be shamed for that by a bunch of people who claim they're not shaming you. At least your hair is already long.

Oh, and Becky and Gary were there this morning, out on the edge. When they left, Gary was limping a bit, but didn't need his scooter, so whatever is going on with his foot or ankle seems to be healing.

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Edited June 25, 2023 by thoughtful

[thoughtful]

I scrolled down a bit on Gary's Facebook page, just to see if there were any new comments in old arguments. And I'm so glad I did, because I found this fine example of logic, grammar, and cliche abuse, under Gary's post about Charlie Brown not wanting to bless America:

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