Harry and Meghan 15

[prayawaythefundie]

I don‘t think the royal family was caught by surprise. There is inviting people and their is expecting or even hoping they will come.

[viii]

Harry and Meghan are in a losing position either way. There will be ridiculous clickbait articles no matter what they chose and so I think this was the best compromise for them. 

[Jackie3]

9 hours ago, prayawaythefundie said:

I don‘t think the royal family was caught by surprise. There is inviting people and their is expecting or even hoping they will come.

Do you invite people but hope they will decline? Why invite them at all?

[anjulibai]

8 hours ago, Jackie3 said:

Do you invite people but hope they will decline? Why invite them at all?

It would look bad if they weren't invited at all, and definitely close the door on any sort of reconciliation. 

[Giraffe]

28 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

It would look bad if they weren't invited at all, and definitely close the door on any sort of reconciliation. 

I agree it would look bad if they weren’t invited at all. As far as reconciling goes though H & M have pretty much slammed the door on any sort of reconciliation.

[Jackie3]

8 hours ago, Giraffe said:

I agree it would look bad if they weren’t invited at all. As far as reconciling goes though H & M have pretty much slammed the door on any sort of reconciliation.

King Charles is a pretty weak man if he refuses to reconcile with a son simply because he spoke his own truth. 

It's like he is saying, "I'll have a relationship with you only on my terms--that you remain silent about anything you dislike." 

I mean, who needs that? Why would Harry even want a reconciliation?

A strong King would not be so afraid of another person's words. 

 

8 hours ago, anjulibai said:

It would look bad if they weren't invited at all, and definitely close the door on any sort of reconciliation. 

I think Harry would reconcile if he was assured his wife and kids would be treated respectfully. I don't think an invite to the Coronation is all that important to him. Heck, he's only going for about 3 hours. 

[prayawaythefundie]

13 hours ago, Jackie3 said:

Do you invite people but hope they will decline? Why invite them at all?

I‘m not a royal having a coronation amidst heavy scrutiny due to an ugly family rift. In my lovely boring private life, I have much more freedom and if my brother / son had sold me and my family out like Harry did, he would not get an invite to anything until he a) stops it and b) is open to productive talking that actually remains private. 

Charles had absolutely no choice here but to invite Harry and Meghan. Whether he hoped that one or both of them wouldn‘t come, I can‘t tell but I‘d bet you a lot Camilla, William and Kate hoped for Harry & Meghan to stay away and they won‘t be talking to Harry one word more than they absolutely have to.

It goes both ways, btw. I would bet you just as much that Harry & Meghan‘s invite for William & Kate to Lilibet’s birthday party was just as insincere. They invited them out of courtesey and all parties involved were probably very relieved jubilee appearances made such a good excuse for the then Cambridges not to attend.

ETA: This applies to Lilibet‘s christening as well.

Edited April 18, 2023 by prayawaythefundie

[viii]

Agreed - there's no way Harry and Meghan invited the family to Lilibet's christening with the sincere hopes they'd attend. Everyone is just covering their bases so when the next interview happens, everyone can say they did their best. What a mess 😂

[Alisamer]

20 minutes ago, viii said:

Agreed - there's no way Harry and Meghan invited the family to Lilibet's christening with the sincere hopes they'd attend. Everyone is just covering their bases so when the next interview happens, everyone can say they did their best. What a mess 😂

I agree. I think a lot of people have relatives that they feel obligated to invite to important events like weddings and such that they really kind of hope won't come. Sometimes the repercussions of not inviting someone are bad enough that you invite them anyway, even if you don't really want them there. 

Like my brother in law. Like, I don't hate the dude, but I'd say our relationship is cordial at best. He is always invited to family events like holidays and whole-family vacations. Sometimes he attends, sometimes he doesn't. For stuff like a vacation, we're generally glad when he doesn't. But we still invite him, because that's courteous and he is still family, and there's no need to give him a reason to be weird. My sister loves him for some reason, so we put up with his strange ass.

And this isn't a family event, it's a coronation. There's certainly a list of invitees that are non-negotiable due to protocol and for diplomatic reasons. 

I think that is a thing that people might be missing in this whole situation. It's family drama, sure, and it's celebrity drama, sure. But Charles and the working royals are in effect a form of diplomat. Sometimes they have to play nice with people they might rather not (example: QEII interacting with Trump & entourage). Add on to that centuries of tradition and custom, class etiquette, social norms... It's just not a simple situation, I think. 

[hoipolloi]

54 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

I think a lot of people have relatives that they feel obligated to invite to important events like weddings and such that they really kind of hope won't come. Sometimes the repercussions of not inviting someone are bad enough that you invite them anyway, even if you don't really want them there. 

Yes, any time you have an occasion that includes more than immediate family, there is a major calculation involved over who gets one of the invitations: Family/friends whom you love dearly & want there; family (possibly friends) who should be there; family who you don't want there but will be incredibly offended if they're not invited. 

 

[Jackie3]

1 hour ago, hoipolloi said:

Yes, any time you have an occasion that includes more than immediate family, there is a major calculation involved over who gets one of the invitations: Family/friends whom you love dearly & want there; family (possibly friends) who should be there; family who you don't want there but will be incredibly offended if they're not invited. 

 

Maybe just let them be offended and save yourself an invite.

[Ozlsn]

7 hours ago, Alisamer said:

. I think a lot of people have relatives that they feel obligated to invite to important events like weddings and such that they really kind of hope won't come.

I was so relieved when I found out that my wedding date coincided with a family member's long planned trip overseas and I could invite them in the certain knowledge that they would decline to attend. Family drama averted, everyone was happy. 

[dawbs]

9 hours ago, hoipolloi said:

Yes, any time you have an occasion that includes more than immediate family, there is a major calculation involved over who gets one of the invitations: Family/friends whom you love dearly & want there; family (possibly friends) who should be there; family who you don't want there but will be incredibly offended if they're not invited. 

 

And honestly, I will always bend over backwards to do right by my last living grandparent...

If i didn't invite her son-in- law to stuff, she wouldn't be mortally offended but her feelings would be hurt. And I'd never want to do that to her. Even if he's annoying as fuck. (He's not BAD. Just... ugh. I've disliked of  him for 30+ years and was relievedwhen they couldn't come to my wedding. But his wife is ok, and his wife is my grandma's daughter, so they were invited.)

Overall, families are complicated. I love them. I'd support and care for them. But that doesn't mean individually i really like all of them. 

[Jackie3]

4 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

I was so relieved when I found out that my wedding date coincided with a family member's long planned trip overseas and I could invite them in the certain knowledge that they would decline to attend. Family drama averted, everyone was happy. 

Becoming a grownup means you realize that evasions like that are unnecessary. Invite who you want to invite. It's very simple.

Your alcoholic uncle or sniping cousin should've behaved better if they wanted to come.

It's very freeing to be true and honest with your feelings (and your invite!), instead of jumping through hoops.

[Jackie3]

It's interesting how the press continues to bully a woman who is not even going to the coronation. She hasn't even been seen in public this year, other than once or twice.  But the press continues to bully this woman. 

They don't bully the sex pest, the adulterer or the mistress. 

I wonder what their end game is? Do they want to drive Meghan to suicide? 

Luckily she seems pretty happy and thriving. But I do wonder what the UK press wants. And why to they think it's OK to stalk and bully a woman?

[just_ordinary]

I think inviting family members to important events and secretly hoping they can’t make it is quite normal. And if a relationship is strained it might be worth it to invite and send the obligatory Christmas card and make a birthday call. Relationships change and you never know if keeping the door open might lead to ease the path for reconciliation down the line. H and W have easily another 40 years to come around. I think a reconciliation of some sort is most definitely in the cards. It won’t get back to where it was, but I am sure they will find a new way. 
Even some years with just a Christmas card are fine. Cutting people out completely takes this chance away and you better are sure that’s what you want. There are certainly good reasons to go down this path. But if you actually would prefer to reconcile, it’s much better to uphold some sort of civil contact. You also, can really dislike people and still be able to share the same room with them for a couple of hours- with everyone keeping it together for the most part. That’s called being an adult. 

[Jackie3]

On 4/22/2023 at 3:44 AM, just_ordinary said:

I think inviting family members to important events and secretly hoping they can’t make it is quite normal.

Normal, maybe. Healthy? I don't think so. 

Just invite who you want to invite, and be true to yourself. Don't get involved in crazy family shenanigans.

[nokidsmom]

On 4/17/2023 at 9:41 PM, Giraffe said:

I agree it would look bad if they weren’t invited at all. As far as reconciling goes though H & M have pretty much slammed the door on any sort of reconciliation.

I always figured they would be invited simply because of protocol.   Harry is not only Charles' son, his position within the family, like it or not, as a Prince/Duke/Earl/Counselor of State (and whatever other titles he holds) plus his position in the line of succession is in the single digits, IMHO it seems likely it was a requirement to invite him despite his stepping away from royal duties.  And since he is married, one invites his wife as that is protocol.  

Still possible that attendance to coronation events will be limited and that Harry will be there as a spectator /guest and perhaps at the ceremony only.   

[viii]

I doubt we will see much of him, tbh. I think we'll see him at the coronation and that's it. I doubt he'll even stick around for the balcony since I don't think he'd be included in that. 

[Coconut Flan]

All the articles I've seen say he's planning to fly back to California as soon as possible.  I have no idea where they are getting that information.  That he's still in the single digits in the line of succession and it is his father are possibly the only reasons he's bothering to attend.  

[nokidsmom]

28 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

All the articles I've seen say he's planning to fly back to California as soon as possible.  I have no idea where they are getting that information.  That he's still in the single digits in the line of succession and it is his father are possibly the only reasons he's bothering to attend.  

I figure at the minimum he will be at the ceremony but not much else, similar to his attendance at the Queen's Jubilee.  Remember he flew back to Cali early after the Jubilee, so would not be surprised if he does the same here. 

I recently read on another site that it's possible that for Harry, given his position, this was not so much an invitation, but a "summons" by his sovereign, which I thought was an interesting take.  If true, then Charles is not just inviting Harry as his son but summoning him as his King, which he is.  

[Jackie3]

31 minutes ago, nokidsmom said:

I recently read on another site that it's possible that for Harry, given his position, this was not so much an invitation, but a "summons" by his sovereign, which I thought was an interesting take.  If true, then Charles is not just inviting Harry as his son but summoning him as his King, which he is.  

What would happen if Harry disregarded the summons? Charles is pretty powerless.

Take away his titles? I don't think it's that easy, and I don't think Harry would care that much. Plus, that would play badly in the press. No, I don't think Harry has to obey the king and I don't think the king has much leverage.

 

1 hour ago, nokidsmom said:

I always figured they would be invited simply because of protocol.

Charles is breaking protocol in other ways. He certainly is not bound by protocol unless he wants to be.

[Loveday]

I think that we'll probably see a fair  bit of Harry before and after the coronation ceremony only because the press will focus on him whenever they possibly can. I mean, there's no real Drama with the coronation itself, and the press can't live without a little Drama, so I think they'll manufacture as much as they can with Harry's presence on the day.😏

[prayawaythefundie]

7 hours ago, nokidsmom said:

I recently read on another site that it's possible that for Harry, given his position, this was not so much an invitation, but a "summons" by his sovereign, which I thought was an interesting take.  If true, then Charles is not just inviting Harry as his son but summoning him as his King, which he is.  

I don‘t know. That seems like a very royalist interpretation, attributing more power to Charles than he actually has, probably to make Harry look weak.

As for creating drama, which the press loves & needs, Harry is doing that himself again with his latest allegations in court. For someone claiming to hate the media, he‘s handing them quite a bit of fodder. 

[noseybutt]

15 hours ago, Loveday said:

I think that we'll probably see a fair  bit of Harry before and after the coronation ceremony only because the press will focus on him whenever they possibly can. I mean, there's no real Drama with the coronation itself, and the press can't live without a little Drama, so I think they'll manufacture as much as they can with Harry's presence on the day.😏

I find statements like this confusing since the pageantry around the coronation is designed for peak drama.