Joy & Austin 34: Baby Three

[JermajestyDuggar]

39 minutes ago, Meggo said:

oooo - I feel like I know that university... Stuebenville? My cousin, his wife and 4 out of their 5 kids (and I think all their spouses) went there. It's.... weird...

I was listening to a cult type podcast where a woman was describing a university like that. She didn’t name it. But that’s the first college that came to my mind. 

[Meggo]

30 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I was listening to a cult type podcast where a woman was describing a university like that. She didn’t name it. But that’s the first college that came to my mind. 

I honestly don't know a lot about it AS a university - I just know that it's UBER Catholic and I know that cousin and his family are UBER UBER Catholic. Like they go to the church that doesn't allow girl altar servers, probably does mass in Latin etc.  and when my uncle was buried (in that church or from that church - whatever the phrasing is) - there were several women who were wearing head coverings. (and not older ladies either - women in their 30s). 

(now my family is not unfamiliar with Catholic schools - one sister when to St. Mary's and then transferred to Notre Dame and the other went to Catholic University in DC - but a recognized school like ND or one in the heart of DC are going to be a little different than a smallish college in the middle of Ohio). (I'm the heathen who went to a public university and left the church entirely once I turned 18 and didn't have to listen to my parents threaten me to go to church) 

 

Edited January 16 by Meggo

[Cam]

21 hours ago, GreenBeans said:

I think it’s crazy that fundy women with a bazillion kids often have really long hair. It takes ages to air dry, and also takes really long to blow dry, so how do they manage and take the time with so many kids?

 

My guess is since most fundie women stay at home with their kids, they wash the hair and let it air dry while going about their daily routine. And use dry shampoo at times. For some of them, the long hair is a huge part of who they are; I think it is for Jessa. They got lots of attention for it as a young girl and they don’t want to give that up as they age. 

I see a lot of women with long hair who never seem to wear their hair down but either pull it in a knot on top of their head or in a bun at the back of the neck. I don’t see the point of long hair if you’re always keeping it tied up. Why not just get a nice cut? Doesn’t mean it has to be short. 
 

21 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

 Mainstream women are expected to do it all. Especially women with kids. They are expected to do it all while looking good to boot. Most women I know don’t have time to wash their hair all the time. So dry shampoo is a must. 

Such truth. Society insists women put others first: take care of the hubs, the kids, the extended family, work, the home and make sure you look good or you’re not doing it right. 
 

I see more women over 45 these days who have long hair, including several of my relatives. I would reject the idea that it’s more appropriate to have shorter hair as we get older. It’s a personal choice and besides, we tend to care less of others’ opinions as we “mature” 

Edited January 17 by Cam

[Meggo]

1 hour ago, Cam said:

 

I see a lot of women with long hair who never seem to wear their hair down but either pull it in a knot on top of their head or in a bun at the back of the neck. I don’t see the point of long hair if you’re always keeping it tied up. Why not just get a nice cut? Doesn’t mean it has to be short. 

*raises hand* that's totally me. My hair is a little bit longer than Joy's recent cut and I almost ALWAYS wear it in a pony or a bun. I work from home, so I'm usually in jeans or workout gear (never pjs - that always feels weird). I rarely do my hair, even rarer for me to do makeup. 
And I put it up because in order for it to look nice (again - I work from home and am rarely on camera - and the cats & dog already know what I look like) I have to DO it. I have to wash it, apply product, style it etc. It's fine if we're going out for dinner or a party etc. But it's not something I'll do every day. My hair has some remnants of a perm in it - and some natural wave - but if I don't DO it - it looks scraggly. (sometimes I do shower and let it air dry - but it's usually pulled back by evening) 
I've debated a pixie cut for years but am not quite brave enough. (the woman who has cut my hair for the last 18 years said the minute I say "let's do the pixie" - she will pick up a bottle of wine and show up at my house with scissors before I chicken out.)

[GreenBeans]

13 hours ago, Meggo said:

*raises hand* that's totally me. My hair is a little bit longer than Joy's recent cut and I almost ALWAYS wear it in a pony or a bun. I work from home, so I'm usually in jeans or workout gear (never pjs - that always feels weird). I rarely do my hair, even rarer for me to do makeup. 
And I put it up because in order for it to look nice (again - I work from home and am rarely on camera - and the cats & dog already know what I look like) I have to DO it. I have to wash it, apply product, style it etc. It's fine if we're going out for dinner or a party etc. But it's not something I'll do every day. My hair has some remnants of a perm in it - and some natural wave - but if I don't DO it - it looks scraggly. (sometimes I do shower and let it air dry - but it's usually pulled back by evening) 

Same for me. If I just wash my hair and dry it, it looks awful. It’s not quite curly, but not straight either, so it just looks unkempt when I wear it down. Even with product in it, my hair just doesn’t seem to take it. My hairdresser blow dries it and styles it when I go there - but by the time I get home from the salon it’s back to its usual unkempt look lol. So I usually put it up in a pony tail or bun. It’s quick and easy and doesn’t look like I just fell out of bed. I have to admit I’m envious of people who have nice, straight hair and can simply wear it open.

[Melissa1977]

When I was young, short hair was quite usual both for girls and adult women, and definitely very common for elder women. Some short cuts were considered very femenine, others were more casual or sport-style. Nowadays long hair is the norm (very long for teenagers, shorter for adults but not real short). It's like short cuts are not considered femenine anymore. 

[Expectopatronus]

I cut my daughter’s hair to shoulder length right after Christmas. She didn’t especially want it cut but she fought having it brushed and even with detangling spray and a special brush every morning was a battle (complete with tears). She was fine once we got to the kid’s salon and got started and likes it now. All of the girls in her nursery class have long hair and I don’t want her to be different but I couldn’t deal with the battle. I don’t know if I made the right decision as it kinda violated her autonomy but matted hair isn’t really the best choice either. 

[Ms. Brightside]

I always find people’s personal stories about their hair so interesting; we’re all so different!
 

I’ve had long hair my whole life, and used to cry when it would be cut too short. The first time this happened I was 4 or 5, and I asked for a chin-length bob because my best friend had just gotten one. As soon as it was done, I hated it… but there was nothing that could be done at that point. I think I learned the lesson that you could always take more off, but couldn’t fix it once you went too far, and was terrified of my hair being too short until my mid-20s. I have always been very athletic and wore my hair up most of the time. I finally got brave and cut it to about Joy’s length when I was in my mid-late 20s. I liked it when I had time to style it, but that’s not how I prioritize my time, so I mostly struggled with it looking unkempt. Even if I tried to put it up, pieces would be too short to stay where I put them and I always felt like a mess. As soon as my hair gets past my shoulder blades, it weighs itself into submission and is so much easier to deal with. And if I want it out of my face, I can pull it back and it stays there. I haven’t been tempted to cut it again since then!

 

I always get questions about how difficult it must be to maintain long hair, but for me, shorter hair was so much more work! I used to be surprised when people said their hair was more work when it was long…. my experience is the opposite. 

[GreenBeans]

On 1/18/2024 at 8:42 AM, Melissa1977 said:

When I was young, short hair was quite usual both for girls and adult women, and definitely very common for elder women. Some short cuts were considered very femenine, others were more casual or sport-style. Nowadays long hair is the norm (very long for teenagers, shorter for adults but not real short). It's like short cuts are not considered femenine anymore. 

This makes me think of Erica Shupe’s “whispy” (I think that’s how she spelled it) haircut. She really insisted that, despite being short, it WAS feminine! I wonder what she’s up to these days… last I remember I think they weren’t fundie anymore…

[GuineaPigCourtship]

I used to grow my hair out past my waist and then cut it to my shoulders and repeat.  When it was very long, I always wore it in long braids so it wouldn't tangle.  Most people have never seen me with my hair down because I wear it up every day no matter the length.  It just annoys me to have it down, getting in the way.  

[Hera]

Add me to the list of 45 plus women with long layered straight hair that I actually refuse to cut too short because it’s easier to pull it back or up for work (lawyer) than style it when it’s short. I generally wash it a couple of times a week and let it air dry unless I need to go somewhere, then I let it mostly air dry and then blast blow dry it upside down until dry and go over it with a brush and hairdryer to make it straighten out the night before. Pulling it up and sleeping on it with a smooth but secured with one of those non-kinking hair doodads also give it a nice bounce. Joys hair in that photo is about as short as I am to go. It’s gotta go back in a ponytail. 

[Maggie Mae]

On 1/17/2024 at 5:54 AM, Cam said:

I see a lot of women with long hair who never seem to wear their hair down but either pull it in a knot on top of their head or in a bun at the back of the neck. I don’t see the point of long hair if you’re always keeping it tied up. Why not just get a nice cut? Doesn’t mean it has to be short. 

I'm not to 45+ yet but I do this. 

I wash and dry and style my hair when I need to.  But I have to have it long enough to ponytail because I like to work out.  I've tried the medium length and that was too annoying. The short was fine (as in not annoying) but i didn't like how it looked and never will. It reminds me too much of my mom and the stupid "rule" that women over "a certain age" need to get a haircut (the same, ugly ass short haircut) because of 'kids' and 'appropriateness.' It also takes more work to style short hair. 

I try to wash every other day but I was more often than skip. 

[Meggo]

My hair is just past my shoulders right now (barely). And I haven't had SUPER short hair since probably the first grade (because my mom hated doing hair and has had the "old lady short do" for the entire time she's existed on the planet - 80+ years). 
I've always asked my stylist for hair to be long enough to pull back. For working out, for sheer laziness etc. For a while she cut it just long enough for me to pull some back in a tiny little stump. Not long enough for me to get away with pulling it back every day, but long enough for working out. But then my son came along, and working from home full time came along and I just don't have time (or frankly any desire) to "do" my hair every day. And short hair is more work than longer hair, having to style etc. 

And I think I'm still kind of feel like the "old lady short do" that BOTH my grandma's and my mom all had - screams old lady to me. (one grandma would go once a week to get her hair "set". Which still just blows my mind. Pretty sure the other grandma just curled hers as needed). It's JUST my opinion -but all the old biddies in my life, since the beginning of time - have all had short hair. Long enough for one turn on the normal sized curling iron. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Fort Rock has been placing a spot light on their employees. Two have been their kids. Bobby Ballinger and Megan Ballinger. I’m not going to lie. I’ve never been a huge fan of businesses where it’s all family. It’s not necessarily bad. It just gives me pause. Because I always remember that the family members can do a poor job and they still won’t get fired. I think it’s because I worked at a place once where nepotism ran through it and there were some very shitty people who needed fired like yesterday. And they kept their jobs because of nepotism. 

Edited January 24 by JermajestyDuggar

[Cam]

7 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Fort Rock has been placing a spot light on their employees. Two have been their kids. Bobby Ballinger and Megan Ballinger. I’m not going to lie. I’ve never been a huge fan of businesses where it’s all family. It’s not necessarily bad. It just gives me pause. Because I always remember that the family members can do a poor job and they still won’t get fired. I think it’s because I worked at a place once where nepotism ran through it and there were some very shitty people who needed fired like yesterday. And they kept their jobs because of nepotism. 

Have to agree. I’ve worked at numerous family owned and run places like this and know of others. 

[GreenBeans]

54 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It just gives me pause. Because I always remember that the family members can do a poor job and they still won’t get fired.

And sometimes family are exploited and not paid proper wages…

[nolongerIFBx]

On 1/16/2024 at 1:59 PM, SassyPants said:

And attention attracting (as an example, wearing clothing choices for venue or activity: swimming in jeans, wearing flip flops to work on farms or while hiking) can no way be construed as “modest.”

That isn't the definition of modest that the fundies are working with though. Modesty is entirely about dress and being sure that you are covered appropriately (according to their interpretation of the Bible). Modesty as humility or "free from ostentation or showy extravagance" was not something that I ever heard. That fell under the definition of prideful. And as Cam mentioned above attracting attention by wearing modest clothing is considered being a good testimony. How could you be a "peculiar people" or a "set apart people" or cry persecution if you look like everyone else? When someone comes up to them and says, "I noticed you all wear skirts. You must be Christians." it is 100% taken as a compliment on their godliness not snark.

[HereticHick]

On 1/24/2024 at 10:10 AM, Cam said:

Have to agree. I’ve worked at numerous family owned and run places like this and know of others. 

It also can be a huge headache when its time for the founding generation to retire & decide which kids get the business.

[shesinsane]

On 1/16/2024 at 2:20 PM, FluffySnowball said:

Let me hop onto the thread drift: I always tell myself I want to keep my long hair even in middle and old age. It seems to be considered “more appropriate” for older women to cut their hair but I just love mine despite it being rather thin. So I hope I’ll be brave enough to keep and enjoy it, no matter my age. 

Same. When I was a kid my mom kept my hair short, but all the self portraits I crayoned showed me with long hair. Now I've got long hair and make a habit of braiding/twisting it when my hands have nothing to do, so I couldn't cut if even if I wanted to. My 50th birthday is a few years away and my hair is starting to turn white, so I'm well on my way to being that elderly woman with long hair in a weird color. Right now my hair is dark brown and colored dyes won't show unless my hair is bleached first (and I don't have the patience for that), once it's all white I hope to dye it vibrant purple, or something similar. 

[Bassett Lady]

On 1/17/2024 at 8:54 AM, Cam said:

I see a lot of women with long hair who never seem to wear their hair down but either pull it in a knot on top of their head or in a bun at the back of the neck. I don’t see the point of long hair if you’re always keeping it tied up. Why not just get a nice cut?

I have long hair and I wear it up in a braid or a bun most days. It takes me less than a minute to put up a bun. So, in my day to day life, I have all the perks of short hair. It is out of my face, doesn’t get caught in the door, or drag through the food I cook or the art I make. 
 

When we have an event, or I am in the  mood for long hair, I take the time to do my hair and I get to have all the fun of long hair. 

In the evenings, after my work is done, I let down my hair, both literally and figuratively. 
 

 

[viii]

Imagine trying to police women's hair length in 2024 😭 I could never

[mango_fandango]

I used to have hair that was about boob length. But my hair is thick and fairly curly and it was a pain in the ass to deal with. About thirteen years ago now I got it cut to about shoulder length. Much easier to deal with! Although actually it’s fairly long right now as I haven’t been to the hairdresser in a while. 

[JMO]

Did anyone watch the last video?  The IG video promoting it seemed different, supposedly she's responding to critics? 

[marmalade]

Yeah, she's asking people not to judge her by lumping her in with her entire family. She wants to be seen as an individual. 

[Coconut Flan]

1 hour ago, marmalade said:

Yeah, she's asking people not to judge her by lumping her in with her entire family. She wants to be seen as an individual. 

      

Did she read her sisters' books?  She did recently visit Jinger.  Did she like what she saw and heard?