Joy & Austin 34: Baby Three

[Kiki03910]

1 hour ago, Father Son Holy Goat said:

Well now I have something to talk about in therapy tomorrow.

Sorry!!!

[IReallyAmHopewell]

On 3/31/2023 at 7:43 AM, Cam said:

 

I feel like the Duggar women want to have the pregnancy spotlight. You don’t get that with adoption. Not as much bragging rights. What about infertile IBLP couples? Do they adopt? 

Gothard was anti-adoption but ironically, iirc, used to run an adoption program out of the South Indy location [since closed] Back in the early 2000s children from Russia. I could be remembering wrong but I'm pretty sure it was IBLP/ATI South Indy where the Verity program was. Kids from Russia came twice for visits with families and then were formally adopted, but by "the general public" and not IBLP/ATI families.

[AussieKrissy]

Short(er) Hair, don’t care….

i did see some click bait that she was chopping it herself but I didn’t watch. This popped up on my insta search page thing from some duggar humper. 

[Mama Mia]

7 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

Short(er) Hair, don’t care….

i did see some click bait that she was chopping it herself but I didn’t watch. This popped up on my insta search page thing from some duggar humper. 

I think that’s a good style for her. Nice and bouncy and she’s super active with little kids, so the longer hair is probably harder to manage anyway. It suits her. She did it herself following one of those YouTube tutorials where you section your hair with ties and cut in steps. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

She has Jim Bob’s thick hair. The girls with his hair are lucky. Michelle has thinner hair. It’s not thin. Just average I suppose. Similar to my own hair. 

[AussieKrissy]

12 hours ago, Mama Mia said:

I think that’s a good style for her. Nice and bouncy and she’s super active with little kids, so the longer hair is probably harder to manage anyway. It suits her. She did it herself following one of those YouTube tutorials where you section your hair with ties and cut in steps. 

I agree it looks good on her and she did a fantastic job, from what I can see it looks like a qualified hairdresser did it 

Good job Joy, I'll give you that.

[Father Son Holy Goat]

Great job Joy! I hope she feels fantastic and doesn’t get any flack from anyone.

[Cam]

It’s a flattering, contemporary cut. Joy doesn’t look stuck in a Little House on the Prairie time warp. It takes away the “I’m in a cult” vibe that most fundie wives give off with the long shapeless hair they never cut.  Makes her look a little more grown up. I saw a recent photo of Jana looking like she’d had her hair cut and was wearing a center part, so maybe it’s another way the fundies are being permitted to modernize  their look, similar to more fundie women wearing pants, to make their cult less odd looking to the general public.

 

I mentioned on another thread, I think Joy and Billie Eilish resemble each other. 
 

Edited January 15 by Cam

[SassyPants]

I wish Jessa would cut hers. She has such a long face and long hair, particularly if the hair is not well cared for, just pulls down on the face and ages one’s face.  Reminds me of Abbie M is for Mama- short hair suits her so much better. I love Joy’s new do.

[Lurker]

Joy looks great and she did a very nice job on her haircut.  
 

She is flying to LA to visit Jinger.  I know she mentioned a while  ago that she spoke the most frequently to Jinger.  They seem to be the most different of the older girls and their husbands could also not be more opposed in interests and personality.  
 

Family dynamics are so interesting when it’s not your own family.

[Kiki03910]

9 hours ago, SassyPants said:

I wish Jessa would cut hers. She has such a long face and long hair, particularly if the hair is not well cared for, just pulls down on the face and ages one’s face.  Reminds me of Abbie M is for Mama- short hair suits her so much better. I love Joy’s new do.

So true. I have a long, thin face, and used to wear my very curly hair to my waist (think more hippie than fundie, though, lol). I've now chopped it above my shoulders and feel wild and free!

[Father Son Holy Goat]

11 hours ago, Cam said:

It’s a flattering, contemporary cut. Joy doesn’t look stuck in a Little House on the Prairie time warp. It takes away the “I’m in a cult” vibe that most fundie wives give off with the long shapeless hair they never cut.  Makes her look a little more grown up. I saw a recent photo of Jana looking like she’d had her hair cut and was wearing a center part, so maybe it’s another way the fundies are being permitted to modernize  their look, similar to more fundie women wearing pants, to make their cult less odd looking to the general public.

 

I mentioned on another thread, I think Joy and Billie Eilish resemble each other. 
 

I never understood why they dressed to stand out and look odd. You want your ideas to be accepted as mainstream wouldn’t it make sense to dress more mainstream?

[JermajestyDuggar]

10 hours ago, Lurker said:

Joy looks great and she did a very nice job on her haircut.  
 

She is flying to LA to visit Jinger.  I know she mentioned a while  ago that she spoke the most frequently to Jinger.  They seem to be the most different of the older girls and their husbands could also not be more opposed in interests and personality.  
 

Family dynamics are so interesting when it’s not your own family.

Even though Jinger wrote a book about “disentangling,” she has never publicly shit on her parents. Jinger is very much the type who doesn’t want cause problems in her family. She seems like the type who always wants to keep the peace. I could see that being appealing to Joy. I don’t think Joy likes all the problems in the family. Even though Jill was her buddy and she was closest to her, I think it bothers her that Jill is speaking out against her dad and causing waves in the family. Jinger was always bossed around by Jessa. So I doubt they were very close growing up even though Jinger is the girl closest in age to Joy. Now that they have a lot more in common, I could see Jinger being supportive of Joy in any parenting worries.

[Melissa1977]

8 hours ago, Father Son Holy Goat said:

I never understood why they dressed to stand out and look odd. You want your ideas to be accepted as mainstream wouldn’t it make sense to dress more mainstream?

They felt godlier and superior dressed like that. That was the goal, not being accepted as mainstream. Fundies like Duggars wanted to be special, not mainstream. But their children were aware of their strange looks and just changed after marriage, minus a few ones like Rodrigues daughters.

[Cam]

1 hour ago, Melissa1977 said:

They felt godlier and superior dressed like that. That was the goal, not being accepted as mainstream. Fundies like Duggars wanted to be special, not mainstream. But their children were aware of their strange looks and just changed after marriage, minus a few ones like Rodrigues daughters.

One reason they keep the hair long is the Bible verse that says “a woman’s hair is her glory”. So it’s like a sin in some cults to cut it. Plus, many men find long hair sexually attractive, and controlling fundie men who apparently live, eat, sleep and breathe sex every minute of every day don’t want to be turned off by their wife’s short hair. Btw, men aren’t thinking “her long hair doesn’t suit her long face shape.” They could care less. As much as Meech crones on about how a woman’s “countenance” is supposed to be what shines thru on a woman, the men are thinking tits, ass and various other body parts plus all that long hair in bed omg. 

Also, Duggar daughters were raised to please Daddy or Pops or whatever they call JB. He liked the long, perm curls on his girls. They were conditioned to seek his approval. He made sure they all got braces, too. Of course, that was the right thing to do, I think anyone who needs them should get them, but to JB, his daughters’ looks reflected heavily on how he was seen as a successful manly father. The way he flipped when he saw Jill in pants and excoriated her for wearing a nose ring speaks volumes. He had an image to uphold and Jill was ruining it. To him it was worse than having a pedophile son.

Not far from where I live, there is a Catholic charismatic university. Its members/followers are cult-like, and you pretty much can tell when you see the women out and about that they are involved with the university by their appearance: long hair, modest, colorless clothing, lots of kids in tow.  

 

[GreenBeans]

I think Joy looks great with the shorter hair!

I think it’s crazy that fundy women with a bazillion kids often have really long hair. It takes ages to air dry, and also takes really long to blow dry, so how do they manage and take the time with so many kids?

I’ve seen some of the fundie influencers (Bates girls?) use and promote dry shampoo, but isn’t that really yuck? Is it common in the US? I’ve never heard of anyone using it here. The only time I ever bought it was when I had a tonsillectomy and was told I wouldn’t be allowed to wash my hair for a week or  two (in the end I was in so much pain that washing my hair was at the very back of my list), but I’d never ever have bought it otherwise.

[JermajestyDuggar]

7 minutes ago, GreenBeans said:

I think Joy looks great with the shorter hair!

I think it’s crazy that fundy women with a bazillion kids often have really long hair. It takes ages to air dry, and also takes really long to blow dry, so how do they manage and take the time with so many kids?

I’ve seen some of the fundie influencers (Bates girls?) use and promote dry shampoo, but isn’t that really yuck? Is it common in the US? I’ve never heard of anyone using it here. The only time I ever bought it was when I had a tonsillectomy and was told I wouldn’t be allowed to wash my hair for a week or  two (in the end I was in so much pain that washing my hair was at the very back of my list), but I’d never ever have bought it otherwise.

Dry shampoo is very popular here. And it makes complete sense. Mainstream women are expected to do it all. Especially women with kids. They are expected to do it all while looking good to boot. Most women I know don’t have time to wash their hair all the time. So dry shampoo is a must. 

[Zebedee]

@GreenBeans I have seen dry shampoo here (Germany) in DM and Rossmann, etc and my stylist sells some Aveda version of it, it seems to be about as common as in the UK. So, not everywhere, but a bit. I was deliberately searching for it, though. I don’t really eed it, my hair is about an inch long, but when I broke my shoulder, I wanted it, since despite having very short hair, it refuses to stay flat. I think it was popular in the UK in the 90s, but I had “long” hair (shoulder length, it wouldn’t grow more, if I were a fundie I would have been shunned; I just got called a lesbian instead. I was a teenager, I didn’t take well to that then, these days I wouldn’t care) and it just made it a non greasy mess, still needed to do all the time consuming styling, only for slight humidity or a drop of rain to ruin it all…

@JermajestyDuggar do American women often have longer hair, maybe? I see loads of “ask a German/Brit” type questions on reddit wondering about why German/British/French women often have such short hair! Sometimes, they are clearly edgelord wannabes, asking if “our men” like it, but it seems like lots of people find Europeans dress smart, but also, that European women are scruffy, short haired, make up free slobs, lol. I haven’t been to the US in a decade, unfortunately, so the only Americans I see often are the newscasters. Those women do have long hair, mostly it’s short here for those things. Just different fashions maybe?

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 minutes ago, Zebedee said:

@GreenBeans I have seen dry shampoo here (Germany) in DM and Rossmann, etc and my stylist sells some Aveda version of it, it seems to be about as common as in the UK. So, not everywhere, but a bit. I was deliberately searching for it, though. I don’t really eed it, my hair is about an inch long, but when I broke my shoulder, I wanted it, since despite having very short hair, it refuses to stay flat. I think it was popular in the UK in the 90s, but I had “long” hair (shoulder length, it wouldn’t grow more, if I were a fundie I would have been shunned; I just got called a lesbian instead. I was a teenager, I didn’t take well to that then, these days I wouldn’t care) and it just made it a non greasy mess, still needed to do all the time consuming styling, only for slight humidity or a drop of rain to ruin it all…

@JermajestyDuggar do American women often have longer hair, maybe? I see loads of “ask a German/Brit” type questions on reddit wondering about why German/British/French women often have such short hair! Sometimes, they are clearly edgelord wannabes, asking if “our men” like it, but it seems like lots of people find Europeans dress smart, but also, that European women are scruffy, short haired, make up free slobs, lol. I haven’t been to the US in a decade, unfortunately, so the only Americans I see often are the newscasters. Those women do have long hair, mostly it’s short here for those things. Just different fashions maybe?

Yes, it’s very common to have shoulder length hair or longer if you are a woman under age 45 in the US. As women age, it seems shorter hair becomes more common. I always assumed that’s because hair can thin after menopause hits. And shorter hair looks less thin than longer hair. 
 

However there are exceptions to every rule. So I know young women with pixie cuts and 70 year old women with long silver hair. 

[Zebedee]

@JermajestyDuggar I partly assumed that the number of 45+ women with short hair was because they just didn’t have time for all the hairstyling and didn’t gaf about whether men like it or not, I hadn’t thought about post menopausal hair thinning! And I am a 45 year old with a 10 year pixie cut! I just hate, hate, hate doing my hair, and it always looked awful anyway.

But also, I guess my mum, aunt, friends’ mums always had short hair even when they were young in the 80s. Hardly any of them had long hair, same with teachers. Hopefully it was just fashion, they weren’t all channeling the spirit of  Margaret Thatcher! There are obviously loads of young women with long hair too, but, since my anecdotal evidence is that well over half 30-45 year old women I know have short hair, I now wish there was an international survey of hairstyles, lol.

I always found longer hair easier, as mine is fine and dried fast. It was the dumb cowlick that would stick up, hence the drastic chop. Of course, if I had very thick hair that takes hours to dry, dry shampoo would also be great. I guess dry shampoo doesn’t fix the weird bumps from sleeping on it, so you still have to style it, but saving the hours of drying is a bonus. Also, for travelling and camping purposes. 

[FluffySnowball]

57 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Yes, it’s very common to have shoulder length hair or longer if you are a woman under age 45 in the US. As women age, it seems shorter hair becomes more common. I always assumed that’s because hair can thin after menopause hits. And shorter hair looks less thin than longer hair. 
 

However there are exceptions to every rule. So I know young women with pixie cuts and 70 year old women with long silver hair. 

Let me hop onto the thread drift: I always tell myself I want to keep my long hair even in middle and old age. It seems to be considered “more appropriate” for older women to cut their hair but I just love mine despite it being rather thin. So I hope I’ll be brave enough to keep and enjoy it, no matter my age. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

18 minutes ago, FluffySnowball said:

Let me hop onto the thread drift: I always tell myself I want to keep my long hair even in middle and old age. It seems to be considered “more appropriate” for older women to cut their hair but I just love mine despite it being rather thin. So I hope I’ll be brave enough to keep and enjoy it, no matter my age. 

My thoughts are always do what you want with your hair and forget about cultural expectations and norms. I hate the idea that all women must have certain haircuts based on age/sex/religion. I have an actual negative reaction to seeing women in strict Pentecostal sects with hair past their knees. Because I know they don’t have a choice. Women and men should be able to choose what to do with their body without others shaming them or bullying.

[SassyPants]

13 hours ago, Father Son Holy Goat said:

I never understood why they dressed to stand out and look odd. You want your ideas to be accepted as mainstream wouldn’t it make sense to dress more mainstream?

And attention attracting (as an example, wearing clothing choices for venue or activity: swimming in jeans, wearing flip flops to work on farms or while hiking) can no way be construed as “modest.”

[Meggo]

3 hours ago, Cam said:

Not far from where I live, there is a Catholic charismatic university. Its members/followers are cult-like, and you pretty much can tell when you see the women out and about that they are involved with the university by their appearance: long hair, modest, colorless clothing, lots of kids in tow.  

 

oooo - I feel like I know that university... Stuebenville? My cousin, his wife and 4 out of their 5 kids (and I think all their spouses) went there. It's.... weird...

[Father Son Holy Goat]

4 hours ago, Cam said:

One reason they keep the hair long is the Bible verse that says “a woman’s hair is her glory”. So it’s like a sin in some cults to cut it. Plus, many men find long hair sexually attractive, and controlling fundie men who apparently live, eat, sleep and breathe sex every minute of every day don’t want to be turned off by their wife’s short hair. Btw, men aren’t thinking “her long hair doesn’t suit her long face shape.” They could care less. As much as Meech crones on about how a woman’s “countenance” is supposed to be what shines thru on a woman, the men are thinking tits, ass and various other body parts plus all that long hair in bed omg. 

Also, Duggar daughters were raised to please Daddy or Pops or whatever they call JB. He liked the long, perm curls on his girls. They were conditioned to seek his approval. He made sure they all got braces, too. Of course, that was the right thing to do, I think anyone who needs them should get them, but to JB, his daughters’ looks reflected heavily on how he was seen as a successful manly father. The way he flipped when he saw Jill in pants and excoriated her for wearing a nose ring speaks volumes. He had an image to uphold and Jill was ruining it. To him it was worse than having a pedophile son.
 

That is messed up.