Dillards 92: Prosecuting All Of Us

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’m ok with protecting siblings. I’m not ok with protecting Jim Bob. I thought Jinger’s book protected her parents too much. I hope Jinger sees the similarities between Gothard and her own father. 

[Kiki03910]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’m ok with protecting siblings. I’m not ok with protecting Jim Bob. I thought Jinger’s book protected her parents too much. I hope Jinger sees the similarities between Gothard and her own father. 

I'm having trouble falling asleep after this haunting passage. Men promising they'll protect women. Women being forced to protect men instead of themselves. Thus it ever was. So fucking exhausting.

[Idlewild]

@Kiki03910 this sums up the hypocrisy of JB’s particular brand of patriarchy.

When he told Fox News he discussed the situation with fellow church members, what he meant was the men got together and decided how best to protect their way of life, with no regard for the welfare of women and girls. They make me sick. 

[FleeJanaFree]

well I am currently losing my mind because my preorder in the apples books app isn’t showing up still. I thoughts it’s be out at midnight, and then I googled and said it’s be out 3 am my time, and now it’s 6:30 am and it’s still not showing up or allowing me to download. Really pissed and about to buy a second copy from Amazon. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

20 minutes ago, Idlewild said:

@Kiki03910 this sums up the hypocrisy of JB’s particular brand of patriarchy.

When he told Fox News he discussed the situation with fellow church members, what he meant was the men got together and decided how best to protect their way of life, with no regard for the welfare of women and girls. They make me sick. 

It’s extremely common in patriarchal churches or religious groups. It’s never about protecting the children or women. It’s about protecting the church and/or themselves. 

[GreenBeans]

Just read on Reddit that when Jill complained about not having been paid  properly for being on the show, JB sent her an itemised break down of the cost of raising her, and explained that what she thought was her dad raising her, was actually in his eyes, her salary.

Just… wow… 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Just now, GreenBeans said:

Just read on Reddit that when Jill complained about not having been paid  properly for being on the show, JB sent her an itemised break down of the cost of raising her, and explained that what she thought was her dad raising her, was actually in his eyes, her salary.

Just… wow… 

Of course that’s how he justified forcing his kids to work on a tv show for years without paying them. Sorry JB. It doesn’t work that way. You CHOSE to “let God decide.” Jill didn’t choose to be born. You are the one to pay for her expenses without reimbursement. Not to mention all the unpaid babysitting and cleaning she did. She was constantly working. When she wasn’t filming, she was taking care of her buddies. And helping with housework. She likely even helped with homeschool. She worked all through her childhood and didn’t get paid. That’s worse than the children who worked in mines and factories in 1900. Because at least those kids got paid for their work. 

Jill needs to meet Bethany Frankel. She’s the one trying to unionize reality tv workers. 

[CanadianMamam]

So I read a breakdown on Reddit (i’m on my library waitlist) and Jill talks about being hit with a huge tax bill because Jim lied and claimed he paid the kids when he didn’t. Her putting that in writing is huge and I really, really hope JB gets a visit from the IRS

[Idlewild]

35 minutes ago, GreenBeans said:

Just read on Reddit that when Jill complained about not having been paid  properly for being on the show, JB sent her an itemised break down of the cost of raising her, and explained that what she thought was her dad raising her, was actually in his eyes, her salary.

Just… wow… 

Which isn’t the win he thinks it is when you consider he prided himself on ‘buying used and save the difference’, they ate a lot of cheap crap, never paid for any tuition apart from some music lessons and grifted pretty much anything they could. All the trips and anything that was filmed was paid for by TLC.

He’s not just a piece of shit, he’s a cheap piece of shit.

[nst]

People magazine posted the biggest bombshells

https://people.com/jill-duggar-dillard-memoir-counting-the-cost-biggest-bombshells-7968156

1. We knew she didn't want her honeymoon filmed. 

2. so she told the producers she was pregnant when exactly ...

3. Sam's birth was an ordeal wow and the doctors thought he had brain damage 

Jim Bob seems to be the worst human alive  

[FleeJanaFree]

I AM TRYING GUYS 😭 I canceled my preorder since it wasn’t opening and now when I search the audiobook it simply doesn’t even show up as an option to purchase. About to tear my hair out. I can’t buy the audiobook on Amazon and I don’t want to pay for an audible subscription (even having trying signing in to even attempt it) 

I really want to do summaries and it’s just not working out at the moment . Damn you Apple Books app!!! 
 

edit ok signed up for audible. Be back soon with summaries! 🤞🏼

Edited September 12, 2023 by FleeJanaFree

[Giraffe]

6 minutes ago, FleeJanaFree said:

I AM TRYING GUYS 😭 I canceled my preorder since it wasn’t opening and now when I search the audiobook it simply doesn’t even show up as an option to purchase. About to tear my hair out. I can’t buy the audiobook on Amazon and I don’t want to pay for an audible subscription (even having trying signing in to even attempt it) 

I really want to do summaries and it’s just not working out at the moment . Damn you Apple Books app!!! 

There’s something wrong with some people’s pre-releases. I finally cancelled my kindle pre-order because they were claiming issues with it. My hardcopy should be here tomorrow sometime. 
 

One of the People article confirms they’re still sending the kids to public school. 

[justoneoftwo]

Does she explain what went wrong with Sam? 

[nst]

3 minutes ago, justoneoftwo said:

Does she explain what went wrong with Sam? 

"The birth of Jill and Derick's second son Samuel was far more complicated than she ever let on.

She writes that she had a uterine rupture, and after she woke up four hours after her emergency C-Section, Derick told here there had been a hole in her uterus as big as his fist and she'd had to have a blood transfusion or she could have died. (She adds that the doctors were able to save her uterus.)

Baby Samuel also ended up in the NICU because he'd been unresponsive at birth, and the doctors warned her that it was possible he'd end up with brain damage because a scan had revealed bleeding on his brain. Jill and Derick didn't learn if Sam had brain damage until he was several months old; luckily the brain bleed had healed itself.|

but the confusing thing for is the birth of Isreal she seemed on board to show the delivery even Jana during the cleaning of the mcmansion said the kid would be born in the bathtub. 

[GreenBeans]

36 minutes ago, Idlewild said:

Which isn’t the win he thinks it is when you consider he prided himself on ‘buying used and save the difference’, they ate a lot of cheap crap, never paid for any tuition apart from some music lessons and grifted pretty much anything they could. All the trips and anything that was filmed was paid for by TLC.

He’s not just a piece of shit, he’s a cheap piece of shit.

And all this talk about “children being a gift from the lord”. You’d think as good Christians they’d appreciate and value those gifts God gave them!

It’s such a shitty thing to do. Yes, children cost money, but it’s your job as parents to do the best you can in raising them. And for most parents, it’s not just a job, but they LOVE their children and do the best they can and make sacrifices for their children’s sake. I can’t imagine being so downright nasty to my child.

[Cam]

8 hours ago, waltraute said:

I don't think JB started out as a good man in this cult. I think he chose the cult because he isn't a good man.

Oh, well said!
 

15 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

…. It’s just the same way with cults. Then comes the sunk-cost cost fallacy. Because you’ve put so much time, money, and effort into this, you can’t just walk away. It makes you want to keep going longer than you should. I imagine that’s why some in IBLP/ATI stay even though they know it isn’t working for them. They’ve spent so much money on all the millions of seminars, books, and trips. They can’t get that money back. So they keep pushing through and keep trying to make it work. I wouldn’t be surprised if Michelle had that viewpoint at more difficult times. That they’ve invested too much to turn back now. 

Reminds me of Trump cult worshippers.

 

1 hour ago, Idlewild said:

@Kiki03910 this sums up the hypocrisy of JB’s particular brand of patriarchy.

When he told Fox News he discussed the situation with fellow church members, what he meant was the men got together and decided how best to protect their way of life, with no regard for the welfare of women and girls. They make me sick. 

Fuck yeah

*

Edited September 12, 2023 by Cam

[gobucks]

I received my amazon kindle preorder directly at midnight. I have read 60% so far. I was surprised by one passage where they are at a family meeting post Ashley Madison scandal. Josh is being a smarmy jerk about the paparazzi and it says she (Michelle) barked at him something along the lines of we are all in this position because of you. Was it Jill, Derick, or their coauthor that used the word BARKED when referring to Michelle? Does she actually have a normal, regular, annoyed tone of voice when she isn't on camera??

5 minutes ago, nst said:

 

but the confusing thing for is the birth of Isreal she seemed on board to show the delivery even Jana during the cleaning of the mcmansion said the kid would be born in the bathtub. 

In the book, they say that they did NOT want to show Israel's birth. That is how they ended up using footage from Jana and Michelle. They took private footage that they did not share. She refers to Anna being upset about certain birthing footage being used after she had asked them not to use it when talking about how they didn't want Israel's birth to be filmed. 

[nst]

5 minutes ago, gobucks said:

I received my amazon kindle preorder directly at midnight. I have read 60% so far. I was surprised by one passage where they are at a family meeting post Ashley Madison scandal. Josh is being a smarmy jerk about the paparazzi and it says she (Michelle) barked at him something along the lines of we are all in this position because of you. Was it Jill, Derick, or their coauthor that used the word BARKED when referring to Michelle? Does she actually have a normal, regular, annoyed tone of voice when she isn't on camera??

it seems JB let Josh get away with a lot. It's sickening 

[gobucks]

The absolute largest bombshell of them all. 

 

Did you know JD was a pilot????

[JermajestyDuggar]

12 minutes ago, gobucks said:

I received my amazon kindle preorder directly at midnight. I have read 60% so far. I was surprised by one passage where they are at a family meeting post Ashley Madison scandal. Josh is being a smarmy jerk about the paparazzi and it says she (Michelle) barked at him something along the lines of we are all in this position because of you. Was it Jill, Derick, or their coauthor that used the word BARKED when referring to Michelle? Does she actually have a normal, regular, annoyed tone of voice when she isn't on camera??

In the book, they say that they did NOT want to show Israel's birth. That is how they ended up using footage from Jana and Michelle. They took private footage that they did not share. She refers to Anna being upset about certain birthing footage being used after she had asked them not to use it when talking about how they didn't want Israel's birth to be filmed. 

I bet that was her sitting on a toilet. There were definitely some very private moments in Anna’s births. But Anna was raised to never say no to a patriarch. 

[FiveAcres]

11 minutes ago, nst said:

it seems JB let Josh get away with a lot. It's sickening 

I think that JB not only let Josh get away with a lot, I think the Josh was the family enforcer.

[FleeJanaFree]

Prologue 

Starts out strong with a dedication/statement about victims with bible verses to back herself up 

 

Jill describes a scene where her and Derrick were outside within all the confines  of the courtship rules. She says they weren’t doing anything unusual for 20years olds who were about to get engaged. Call me strange but I do think it’s weird they were discussing venues before an actual engagement but I digress, that’s the point of this story. Michele was upset when she saw them on the same sled, and Jill understood this even though Michelle was smiling and using her sweet voice. Her and Derrick play along but she can tell Derrick was bewildered.

 

She talks about when she got engaged she made sure the crew got the shot for video.

 

I thought it was an effective preview/insight to their relationship as a whole. 

 

Chapters 1-5

Jill talks about music in the Big House. Dancing was a no-no. Once again, Jill emphasizes how her mom scolds with a smile and how you must take her seriously.  It’s clear to me the kids feared her. 

 

Jill talks about wanting approval from her parents and desperately trying for this. She tried to stand out as the most mature and perfect kid. This ties in with what we’ve heard about Jill being a “tattletale” 

This is how she became “Sweet Jilly Muffin” with her parents. She likes this praise and calls herself an Approval Hunter. She says she admired her parents. It was special to get one on one time. She initially loved the buddy system because it gave her a sense of purpose. Joy was her first buddy and was only roughly age 1 when Jill took charge of her! She was 10. 

 

She talks about getting one on one affection from Michelle would make her happy for days. That made me a bit sad. It shouldn’t be that rare. 

 

As a kid she didn’t think of them as overbearing. She thought they were kind. Jill says she didn’t feel the need to push against boundaries she was grateful. She was taught the outside world was dangerous and she was glad to be safe. 

 

She talks about modesty. It was hard to bike so they wore pantaloons biking. As she got older it got harder. When she was about 8 they went to the beach. She was troubled because she wasn’t used to seeing people in bathing suits. she worried  over the boys. A girl her age came towards them and asked about the Duggar clothes. Jill felt awkward. She then talks about how even the approved family friends had differences in raising kids in a Godly environment. 

 

Jill talks about music more and tells a story of Jimbob taking a hammer to his 8track as a kid because the music was from the devil. He got that info from…Bill Gothard. The kids loved this story of him taking a hammer to the devil. 

 

The kids joined family clubs for fun. Mostly involving Jesus. Jana had one where they ate ice cream in the shed which I found funny. Jill wasn’t allowed to join the boy only Boycott club. One thing they boycotted was pornography. Josh was in charge. She paid them $2 to be allowed to join. 

 

She talks about their first AIT conference. She was puzzled that the usual rules didn’t apply to him or how he promoted marriage and lots of children but he was single. After that conference, Jill realized her family wasn’t alone in the world. She felt at the time Gothard brought them together with new people and was grateful for it. One of these families told the Duggars about kids always saying “yes sir , yes ma’am,” AND adding “I’ll be happy to”. Jimbob and Michelle began doing this with their kids as well. 

 

She talks about Jimbob being a Representative and them going to sessions. Jill was interested in getting candy. Josh was interested in making an impression with the adults in his suit. 

 

Nike. She does tell a story about a boy saying there was a “bad girl” immodestly dresses. Michelle instantly corrected this and said she wasn’t a bad girl. That kind of impressed me. Then Michelle said the girl simply didn’t know any better. 🥴 we then get the mow lawn in a bikini story. Oh you a Baddie, Michelle. But luckily Jimbob explained everything to her and she able to make modest choices! 

 

After a Christmas program at a Baptist church, some kids performed a dance. The Duggar parents were horrified and apologized to the kids. They didn’t go back to that church. Then they decided to go to a Home church in a trailer. 

 

Jill was about 11 at this time. Her parents pulled her into a room and said Josh had confessed something….

 

More summaries soon!

Spoiler

 

 

[GreenBeans]

16 minutes ago, FleeJanaFree said:

She talks about getting one on one affection from Michelle would make her happy for days. That made me a bit sad. It shouldn’t be that rare. 

 

It’s awful. With my son being an only child, it’s probably not comparable to a family with several children how much attention he gets. But he, like every child, absolutely needs one on one attention to thrive. I feel so sorry for kids in big families, because no matter how much parents try, their day only has 24 hours. No child should feel like one on one time and attention is a rare occurrence.

[gobucks]

When Jill told JB about the nose piercing via voicemail, his response was that she was making a huge mistake, it was going to affect his younger sisters, and that she was ruining her life. Later, when talking to her Mom, Michelle said she was glad it was over voicemail because he wasn't in a good state of mind. 

[Giraffe]

I hope Anna reads Jill’s book. I also hope she accidentally leaves it out so Mac can read it. Certainly Mac doesn’t need all the info she’d read in there but she’s also old enough where it could answer questions, too. (I’m fully aware finding out her dad’s a literal pedo would be traumatic. My hope for her would be she’d haul ass at 18 and follow in aunt Jill’s footsteps of real therapy)