Dillards 92: Prosecuting All Of Us

[Giraffe]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Honestly I think that writing down absolutely everything you eat every single day can eventually turn into disordered eating in some people. 

I fall into this category. It took me decades to realize "write down everything you eat" causes me to spiral into an emotional nightmare. I'm sure there are plenty of people who are able to use it and gain healthy insight from it. I am not that person!

[JermajestyDuggar]

7 minutes ago, Giraffe said:

I fall into this category. It took me decades to realize "write down everything you eat" causes me to spiral into an emotional nightmare. I'm sure there are plenty of people who are able to use it and gain healthy insight from it. I am not that person!

Yes, unfortunately a lot of people don’t realize this about themselves until they are experiencing disordered eating. 

[sixcatatty]

On 8/28/2023 at 12:51 PM, Giraffe said:

And this ladies and gentlemen is what you get when you teach that parents are the ultimate authority. Any parent whose (cognitively typical) grown child feels like they’re obligated to get actual permission from their parents has failed in parenting. There are a lot of things JB & M should be ashamed of themselves for. This is absolutely one of them!

My mother would have been very happy with that part of Gothardism. Didn't work when I was a kid (I have the c-PTSD diagnosis to prove it). Damn sure didn't work once I was able to escape to college, let alone get married.

[Becky]

43 minutes ago, Giraffe said:

I fall into this category. It took me decades to realize "write down everything you eat" causes me to spiral into an emotional nightmare. I'm sure there are plenty of people who are able to use it and gain healthy insight from it. I am not that person!

That was me... I planned every single calorie that went into my mouth.  I still fight the urge. 

[Father Son Holy Goat]

I so relate with the logging discussion. 
 

Now I’m at the point with my ED where I need to lose weight but also maintain recovery. 

[Cam]

From the excerpt in People magazine:

JILL: Hold my beer.

 

Hahahaha! Even more details about Jill and her family in a People Exclusive article: 

Edited September 11, 2023 by Cam

[ifosterkittens]

17 hours ago, Cults-r-us said:

Can a controlling, narcissistic, crazypants cult member have good intentions? People join movements like the IBLP and Quiverfull because they are promised happy families and successful lives. JB is a cult member in good standing who has been taught by the IBLP his adult children still answer to him. I believe JB and Meech drank the Kool aid because they wanted assurance their children would turn out well. It is true JB has on blinders when it comes to Josh, but I believe the Duggars felt like they were doing what was best for their family.

You are far more generous with your assessment of Jim Bob and Michelle than I am. I can believe in the beginning they got involved with organizations (auto fill suggested organized crime) they believed would help them build a strong Christian family that is successful. I don't think happiness was a big factor for them. I think Jim Bob and Michelle were both struggling a bit when they got together and came up with rules to follow to help guide them forward. Jim Bob didn't want to be his father, and I think Michelle wanted to find a niche she felt fit her, and maybe the idea of skirts instead of pants gave her a sense of control, or felt she was doing what was 'right' or something that appealed to her. Maybe the first couple of kids they liked the feedback from the church members about being quiverful, felt they were living the life God wanted for them and in the beginning it felt manageable. 

When Jim Bob prioritized his run for an Arkansas elected official position, he decided to save money to fund his run (I believe the goal was $250K but that is based off my crummy memory). The family was eating mostly rice three meals a day for months so Jim Bob could do what he wanted. I believe somewhere along the way Jim Bob's focus shifted to his individual goals of power and wealth. The priority was no longer solely building a strong successful Christian family, that was the vehicle he used to achieve his desire of power and wealth. 

[Cam]

13 minutes ago, ifosterkittens said:

You are far more generous with your assessment of Jim Bob and Michelle than I am. I can believe in the beginning they got involved with organizations (auto fill suggested organized crime) they believed would help them build a strong Christian family that is successful. I don't think happiness was a big factor for them. I think Jim Bob and Michelle were both struggling a bit when they got together and came up with rules to follow to help guide them forward. Jim Bob didn't want to be his father, and I think Michelle wanted to find a niche she felt fit her, and maybe the idea of skirts instead of pants gave her a sense of control, or felt she was doing what was 'right' or something that appealed to her. Maybe the first couple of kids they liked the feedback from the church members about being quiverful, felt they were living the life God wanted for them and in the beginning it felt manageable. 

When Jim Bob prioritized his run for an Arkansas elected official position, he decided to save money to fund his run (I believe the goal was $250K but that is based off my crummy memory). The family was eating mostly rice three meals a day for months so Jim Bob could do what he wanted. I believe somewhere along the way Jim Bob's focus shifted to his individual goals of power and wealth. The priority was no longer solely building a strong successful Christian family, that was the vehicle he used to achieve his desire of power and wealth. 

Yes, at some point JB turned into the wolf in sheep’s clothing. Once interest in his growing family gained steam, he realized he could create a false front, “religious family”, and ride that gravy train all the way to the bank. It’s possible his hiding Josh’s crimes made it more exciting for JB, fully knowing his family wasn’t the pure as driven snow picture he was shilling to the public. He loved getting over on people.
 

Can you tell I hate the guy and all he stands for? 

Edited September 11, 2023 by Cam

[FilleMondaine]

To all of those with disordered eating, I strongly suggest enrolling with a nutritionist. It is covered by insurance, and will help with the practicalities. So many treat disordered eating, and treat it well.

We all of us deserve good care. Hope that helps!

[Father Son Holy Goat]

4 minutes ago, FilleMondaine said:

To all of those with disordered eating, I strongly suggest enrolling with a nutritionist. It is covered by insurance, and will help with the practicalities. So many treat disordered eating, and treat it well.

We all of us deserve good care. Hope that helps!

It is not covered by Medicare/ Mass Health. I’ve just been through that with them. 
 

Luckily I found a dietician through Project Heal who was willing to donate her time. I’ve just concluded my free sessions and I’m in a much better place. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, ifosterkittens said:

You are far more generous with your assessment of Jim Bob and Michelle than I am. I can believe in the beginning they got involved with organizations (auto fill suggested organized crime) they believed would help them build a strong Christian family that is successful. I don't think happiness was a big factor for them. I think Jim Bob and Michelle were both struggling a bit when they got together and came up with rules to follow to help guide them forward. Jim Bob didn't want to be his father, and I think Michelle wanted to find a niche she felt fit her, and maybe the idea of skirts instead of pants gave her a sense of control, or felt she was doing what was 'right' or something that appealed to her. Maybe the first couple of kids they liked the feedback from the church members about being quiverful, felt they were living the life God wanted for them and in the beginning it felt manageable. 

When Jim Bob prioritized his run for an Arkansas elected official position, he decided to save money to fund his run (I believe the goal was $250K but that is based off my crummy memory). The family was eating mostly rice three meals a day for months so Jim Bob could do what he wanted. I believe somewhere along the way Jim Bob's focus shifted to his individual goals of power and wealth. The priority was no longer solely building a strong successful Christian family, that was the vehicle he used to achieve his desire of power and wealth. 

I agree. A lot of people start for normal reasons and end up acting like a very different person as the go further along. I guess a good way to look at it is through MLMs. Some people who join MLMs are just awful to begin with. Just like some people who join cults are awful from the start. But I would say a lot of people join MLMs for very normal and understandable reasons. To make some extra money. To make new friends. To have something to feel proud of. But as you watch people get going in their mlm, they start doing things you know aren’t reflective of their personality. They make the cringiest posts you’ve ever seen. They never would have done that before MLMs. They guilt trip their Facebook friends. They never would have done that before the MLM. It’s like slowly but surely, they are acting like a totally different person. And they almost always lose some friends because of it. It’s just the same way with cults. Then comes the sunk-cost cost fallacy. Because you’ve put so much time, money, and effort into this, you can’t just walk away. It makes you want to keep going longer than you should. I imagine that’s why some in IBLP/ATI stay even though they know it isn’t working for them. They’ve spent so much money on all the millions of seminars, books, and trips. They can’t get that money back. So they keep pushing through and keep trying to make it work. I wouldn’t be surprised if Michelle had that viewpoint at more difficult times. That they’ve invested too much to turn back now. But JB is different. I think he just decided his way is the right way and any stray from that is disrespecting him. He can’t see any of his adult children's perspectives because he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t even try. It’s his way of you’ll get text after text of how wrong you are no matter what you say. I just wish Jill and Derick would block JB’s number. 

Edited September 11, 2023 by JermajestyDuggar

[HeartsAFundie]

Just got my notice from Amazon...."Counting The Cost" has shipped!  On track to receive on Wednesday!  
 

[FinallyStoppedLurking]

I wasn’t sure if I was going to buy the book or just get it from the library, but after listening to the excerpt from the People article I’m planning on buying it! I think Jill had come suck a long way and I want to support that journey. Also I knew JB was a terrible person but hearing from her how he treated her in that excerpt just makes me angry on her behalf and how he could treat his own child like that.
 

Of course I’ll be traveling for my job most of the day tomorrow so am not sure if I’ll have time to stop at the store to get it so might have to wait until later this week. 

[anjulibai]

I wasn't going to buy it, but I kind of want to be a part of sticking it to JB, so I just ordered it.

[FleeJanaFree]

Waiting til midnight and I’ll read a chapter or two! I’ll summarize on FJ before bed, and then every few hours or so tomorrow 🤗. I can’t promise super super fast updates but it should be pretty easy with my job in the morning at least  to give updates. Slower in the afternoon. 

[FilleMondaine]

3 hours ago, Father Son Holy Goat said:

It is not covered by Medicare/ Mass Health. I’ve just been through that with them. 
 

Luckily I found a dietician through Project Heal who was willing to donate her time. I’ve just concluded my free sessions and I’m in a much better place. 

I hate that for you! It is awful to give someone the runaround, and especially when they are hurting.

Medicare covers it in this state, and I just assumed everywhere.

To the most important point: So glad that you are doing better, and that you got what you needed. Yay!!

[Father Son Holy Goat]

2 hours ago, FilleMondaine said:

I hate that for you! It is awful to give someone the runaround, and especially when they are hurting.

Medicare covers it in this state, and I just assumed everywhere.

To the most important point: So glad that you are doing better, and that you got what you needed. Yay!!

Thank you. I’m also hooked up with a very good eating disorder place (I’m happy to share the information if anyone wants it). They take my insurance and give me a scholarship to cover what insurance doesn’t. I’ve been able to attend useful groups that way. 

[FleeJanaFree]

Ugh, I thought I’d be able to hear my audiobook at midnight New York time but it’s not working for the app I bought it in. There’s a button to click “download” but it doesn’t do anything when I click it. Just gonna head to bed. I will have my first summary by 9 am tomorrow though 

[waltraute]

6 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

But JB is different. I think he just decided his way is the right way and any stray from that is disrespecting him.

JB is like many men who glom onto fundamentalism. It's not about the religion or a way for them to raise a successful Christian family, It's about power and control. Like many other men, I believe JB was drawn in by the extreme patriarchal aspect and what it affords him - full control of his family and those around him that he can sucker in. It's justification for him to assert authority and take power. I think money comes in at a close second, but I think control and power drive JB, and I believe he has had that need and desire from the beginning. I don't think JB started out as a good man in this cult. I think he chose the cult because he isn't a good man.

[Kiki03910]

4 hours ago, FilleMondaine said:

I hate that for you! It is awful to give someone the runaround, and especially when they are hurting.

Medicare covers it in this state, and I just assumed everywhere.

To the most important point: So glad that you are doing better, and that you got what you needed. Yay!!

Beautifully said. To all of you who are on the recovery journey, I wish you the best. YOU GOT THIS. And I'm sure we're all here for you if you need us. Take care, my lovelies.

OH HOLY SHIT my copy of "Counting the Cost" is in my ebook library (11:24 pm mountain time). I am on it!

[Kiki03910]

Within the first few pages, Jill describes herself as an "approval hunter" and details her terror of inadvertently moving her ass in a way that would make people notice it. She is NOT going to hold back, I think. GO JILL.

*scurries back to book*

[Kiki03910]

DRUMS ARE EVIL, y'all!

*shakes ass*

Okay, I'll shut up now. But this shit so far is goooood. Jill got her eyes open.

[Kiki03910]

One last observation before I park my broomstick in the corner and go to sleep -- Jill has yet to go beyond her own point of view and so far has really protected her siblings, almost solely speaking her own truths. This strikes me as incredibly wise, and, more than that, incredibly kind. We'll see how the rest of the book goes, but I'm very impressed so far. She comes across as earnest, analytical, and honest. Not a whit sensationalistic. The book is wildly exceeding my expectations so far. Fingers crossed!

[CarrotCake]

I bought the eBook but I left my reader at home so I can't secretly read at work... 

[slp]

I read the whole book from 11 pm to 3 am.  It’s really good. She echoes so much of my own experience with a cult like church(except my ex husband was abusive not supportive). She’s genuine, honest and anytime I felt that she skimmed or held back it seemed it was to protect her siblings. I thought it was spectacular.