Harry & Meghan 11: She's a Scarab Beetle

[Coconut Flan]

Do I care if some pampered and cossetted sort of royal wears basically a costume for a fifteen minute show of pomp?  No have at it or not.  I'm having surgery in six hours and what clothes Harry has on is now meaningless to me.  The whole pomp and ceremony planned for a week and a half has done me in and we have days yet before the funeral.  

[viii]

2 hours ago, WatchingTheTireFireBurn said:

No matter what he says it draws attention. So just don't say anything.

I think he was damned if he did, damned if he didn't. If he didn't say anything, there would be so many reports and speculation, with "sources close to the couple", etc. So he tried to get ahead of all the clickbait articles and released a statement saying that his clothes didn't matter, he was there to honor his grandmother, and people still ran wild with it. He really cannot win sometimes, through no fault of his own. 

2 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

In all of the videos I've seen of Meghan at the funeral activities, she appears to me to be extremely nervous: constantly messing with her hair and  hanging onto Harry's hand like a lifeline.

I won't speculate on why she is so nervous, but I do have some ideas.

She does seem incredibly uncomfortable, but I can hardly blame her. She has a poor relationship with her in-law family that has worsened over time, and now she's unexpectedly forced to spend three weeks with them. I can see why she'd be clinging to Harry, who is her spouse and support partner. It would be odd if he DIDN'T make her feel safe. Hopefully everyone can use this time to reconcile together, sometimes loss can do that to a splintered family. 

I am curious to what your thoughts are on why she's nervous, though. 

[louisa05]

I don’t know if she’s nervous. Honestly , she just seems like a generally awkward person in public settings. Her interactions with the public are always awkward (she asked a person at the walkabout how long she’d waited then said “hopefully you can get home soon”????). Her body language is always awkward or appears too put on. Look for the red carpet event in Germany for Invictus. 
 

The fact that she was an actress makes that very odd. 

[viii]

28 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

Her interactions with the public are always awkward (she asked a person at the walkabout how long she’d waited then said “hopefully you can get home soon”????).

How was that awkward? I thought that was incredibly sweet of her to acknowledge that they had waited a long time and she was hoping they'd get home to rest soon. I fail to see how anyone can look at that interaction she had and criticize it. She handled herself really well there. 

[louisa05]

Just now, viii said:

How was that awkward? I thought that was incredibly sweet of her to acknowledge that they had waited a long time and she was hoping they'd get home to rest soon. I fail to see how anyone can look at that interaction she had and criticize it. She handled herself really well there. 

Because it implied that they didn’t want to be there or weren’t wanted there . Very awkward response. Thank you and it means so much to us, etc…would be more appropriate. 

[viii]

3 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

Because it implied that they didn’t want to be there or weren’t wanted there . Very awkward response. Thank you and it means so much to us, etc…would be more appropriate. 

In what world does that imply that?? This is what annoys me. People can dislike Meghan because there are COUNTLESS of valid reasons for things she has done or said for people to not like her. However, when people take an innocent comment or situation and twist it to suit their needs of dislike - that's annoying. You are literally reaching so hard right now with that comment. She DID thank them and talk about how much it meant to the family to have everyone turn out. She also said oh goodness, I hope you're able to get home soon for some rest. 

She literally can't win. 

[louisa05]

17 minutes ago, viii said:

In what world does that imply that?? This is what annoys me. People can dislike Meghan because there are COUNTLESS of valid reasons for things she has done or said for people to not like her. However, when people take an innocent comment or situation and twist it to suit their needs of dislike - that's annoying. You are literally reaching so hard right now with that comment. She DID thank them and talk about how much it meant to the family to have everyone turn out. She also said oh goodness, I hope you're able to get home soon for some rest. 

She literally can't win. 

Personally if I’d waited hours to see someone and their response was “hopefully you can get home soon” I’d feel a bit brushed off. It was awkward. The woman is awkward. That’s apparently just the way she is. Acknowledging it isn’t hatred.  

[HerNameIsBuffy]

37 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

Because it implied that they didn’t want to be there or weren’t wanted there . Very awkward response. Thank you and it means so much to us, etc…would be more appropriate. 

Honestly if she'd said that there would definitively be people outraged that she dare speak for the family.

I personally think what she said was fine, but there is not one of us that would fare any better if every word we uttered was as scrutinized as hers.

[Mama Mia]

36 minutes ago, viii said:

In what world does that imply that?? This is what annoys me. People can dislike Meghan because there are COUNTLESS of valid reasons for things she has done or said for people to not like her. However, when people take an innocent comment or situation and twist it to suit their needs of dislike - that's annoying. You are literally reaching so hard right now with that comment. She DID thank them and talk about how much it meant to the family to have everyone turn out. She also said oh goodness, I hope you're able to get home soon for some rest. 

She literally can't win. 

Exactly this. It’s been very obvious with the wording on the endless headlines covering the minutiae of mourning. Starting with the family being summoned and Harry arriving too late to say goodbye. They ALL arrived too late (except Charles and Anne - who were already nearby). That Meghan was told specifically not to go- implying she made a big fuss— NONE of the grandchildren’s spouses were invited. It was just children and spouses, and adult grandchildren at Balmoral.  Meghan held Harry’s hand! So inappropriate, so clingy — while several of the grown grandchildren and their spouses have also been seen holding hands, touching backs, leaning on each other. Meghan is smirking! While Kate is graciously smiling through her tears to cheer the masses . And on. And on. And on.   I think Harry and Meghan are only slightly less out of touch than the rest of them, and seemed to have picked many needless fights that will clearly make things awkward - but the vitriol she receives for every single thing explains a lot.

[Heidijoey]

Exactly this. It’s been very obvious with the wording on the endless headlines covering the minutiae of mourning. Starting with the family being summoned and Harry arriving too late to say goodbye. They ALL arrived too late (except Charles and Anne - who were already nearby). That Meghan was told specifically not to go- implying she made a big fuss— NONE of the grandchildren’s spouses were invited. It was just children and spouses, and adult grandchildren at Balmoral.  Meghan held Harry’s hand! So inappropriate, so clingy — while several of the grown grandchildren and their spouses have also been seen holding hands, touching backs, leaning on each other. Meghan is smirking! While Kate is graciously smiling through her tears to cheer the masses . And on. And on. And on.   I think Harry and Meghan are only slightly less out of touch than the rest of them, and seemed to have picked many needless fights that will clearly make things awkward - but the vitriol she receives for every single thing explains a lot.

I think the Megan was told not to go comes from their PR team saying they both were on their way and then changing it to only Harry being on his way. Was there a conversation there telling her not to go ? Who knows . And Atleast in my opinion the thing with Harry’s hand is that he so often tries to pull away or let go and she immediately snatches it back.

[just_ordinary]

@viii He would have definitely been better off to stay silent in my opinion. The whole gossip about him in uniforms or not has been going on since he lost his royal military patronages. Tabloids, people, “close friends”, “palace sources”….. they all have to say something about it. It’s all gossip though till something actually happens. If he had known he would be allowed to wear uniform he could have easily shut it down in his statement. He didn’t. Instead he appeared hurt by not having one to wear and trying to deflect. That’s why I think the decision came afterwards. Now it looks as if he was butt hurt and needed some extra special treatment to be happy. And while I think it’s only fair that he got the permission in those circumstances (two Princes, two vigils, two uniforms- I can get behind that, especially with PA being, well PA) it still reeks of him making a public fuss about it. If he didn’t care and just want to mourn his granny they probably wouldn’t have done anything about it. Not everything is a personal snub against them. But some people love to be offended. 
I think H is desperately trying to look more important in the military area than he ever was. Not to snub what he did, not at all. But it shouldn’t be about not being allowed a uniform you just don’t have the right to wear or how many medals and decorations you can pin on it. I found it pretty embarrassing that he actually brought out his medals through royal family stuff in the US (the hey I was alive when xxx happened to my granny). They work in the royal setting but not exactly with actual veterans from a different country. I think it was to look more important. I could be wrong, but that’s the impression I get from him and it’s not a good one. 
I can only imagine how uncomfortable M must feel. H is family and they all loved granny. M barely knew her. Can’t really join the reminiscing past memories. And has badmouthed the family again just two weeks ago. So while they will probably be quite nice and welcoming to H, I think most are just polite to her. And I think we have all have seen how uncomfortable and cold that can be. I am sorry for her to some extent. Because I think she would have preferred to be in the US and only fly over for the funeral. And leaving the children for so long sucks, even though they have left both when they were just a few weeks old so maybe they are not THAT bothered with leaving them behind. 

Edited September 16, 2022 by just_ordinary

[viii]

I think it's fair that Harry just assumed he and Meghan would go together - they're married. It's probably afterwards that he realized none of the other spouses was going and then decided to go solo while Meghan went alone to London. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

3 minutes ago, viii said:

I think it's fair that Harry just assumed he and Meghan would go together - they're married. It's probably afterwards that he realized none of the other spouses was going and then decided to go solo while Meghan went alone to London. 

That's how it seems to be.  Communication can be chaotic at times like that and it makes sense that they thought everyone would be there and then when he learned no spouses of grandkids they changed plans.

 

[tabitha2]

 I have never liked her almost from the get go and explained why plenty of times and sure don’t need made up reasons. I try to be fair though and this hand holding, wanting to be with her husband right now and probably being tense, uncomfortable with the In law  as a reason to criticize her or them is Bullshit. 

 

Rabid Meghan Haters are just as terrible and annoying as her worshippers. 
 

 

 

 

 

[just_ordinary]

35 minutes ago, Mama Mia said:

Exactly this. It’s been very obvious with the wording on the endless headlines covering the minutiae of mourning. Starting with the family being summoned and Harry arriving too late to say goodbye. They ALL arrived too late (except Charles and Anne - who were already nearby). That Meghan was told specifically not to go- implying she made a big fuss— NONE of the grandchildren’s spouses were invited. It was just children and spouses, and adult grandchildren at Balmoral.  Meghan held Harry’s hand! So inappropriate, so clingy — while several of the grown grandchildren and their spouses have also been seen holding hands, touching backs, leaning on each other. Meghan is smirking! While Kate is graciously smiling through her tears to cheer the masses . And on. And on. And on.   I think Harry and Meghan are only slightly less out of touch than the rest of them, and seemed to have picked many needless fights that will clearly make things awkward - but the vitriol she receives for every single thing explains a lot.

Yup. The press loves to hate on them. More than ever before (you wonder if all their statements and lawsuits play a role at this level of „getting back at them“ we see). There are plenty of good reason to criticise and mock them. All the things you mentioned aren’t and are just silly drama for the sake of it. Often enough H&M play along perfectly, fuelling the drama. But all the things you mentioned are definitely explicitly negative reporting about them. It’s unfair. A good villain sells though. The public loves to hate people. Especially stinking rich and privileged ones. And while it was the usual royal ring of fire in the beginning it’s has become a personal vendetta on all sides and H&M are not completely blameless. I don’t think at this point there is any chance of changing this. Maybe in a couple of years when the tabloids jumped back on bashing W&K or someone else?

 

The only thing I slightly disagree though is the M not welcome at Balmoral headlines. Iirc they released that both were on there their way up, when it was already clear that only the closest family was coming. It probably wouldn’t have been that big of a thing if they would have just shut up. Because then they had to change the story and of course everyone wondered why.

[EmCatlyn]

7 hours ago, louisa05 said:

I don’t know if she’s nervous. Honestly , she just seems like a generally awkward person in public settings. Her interactions with the public are always awkward (she asked a person at the walkabout how long she’d waited then said “hopefully you can get home soon”????). Her body language is always awkward or appears too put on. Look for the red carpet event in Germany for Invictus. 

The fact that she was an actress makes that very odd. 

Actually there are a fair number of performers who are not comfortable in their own skin and must always be playing a role. However, the odd thing about Meghan, I think, is that she is often playing a role yet she isn’t comfortable in that role either.  I suspect that some of her alleged “bullying” and “insensitivity” may come from her difficulty dealing comfortably with people.

[hoipolloi]

Found this good explainer -- guess I need to brush up on BRF protocols!

[Jackie3]

12 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

I was surprised but kinda liked that Princess Anne wore the full on military uniform with trousers and sturdy dress shoes.

Especially since she holds the highest military rankings of all three branches.

It's a remarkable accomplishment for someone who has not served in the military for even a single day.

I think it would be cool if she dressed up as a firemen or fairy princess for the next funeral. She's never been either one of those, either. 

7 hours ago, louisa05 said:

I don’t know if she’s nervous. Honestly , she just seems like a generally awkward person in public settings.

Oh, dear. Why can't she be poised on calm while she faces hatred? 

 

7 hours ago, louisa05 said:

Her interactions with the public are always awkward (she asked a person at the walkabout how long she’d waited then said “hopefully you can get home soon”????).

That's quite a stretch, but OK. This is a terrible thing for her to say, and you'd be just as disgusting to a white person. 

 

7 hours ago, louisa05 said:

The fact that she was an actress makes that very odd. 

And a successful one, too! 

Edited September 17, 2022 by Jackie3

[Jackie3]

17 hours ago, Mama Mia said:

What on earth does his race have to do with it? Not EVERY single thing ties back to that.

In the royal family, I think it does

Imagine a Black royal who made ugly faces at servants, or snarls at them for improper pen placement.  What would the public say? Heck, they went nuts when a Black royal sent emails to servants after 5 pm, or touched her baby bump.  

Charles, however, can look as ugly and angry as he wants, and it's Ok because--what?--his hands hurt? The man has coasted through life without even applying his own toothpaste, and enjoyed endless privilege. He falls to pieces when his hands hurt?  That shows weakness and a lack of discipline. Ick.

 

 

 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

3 minutes ago, Jackie3 said:

In the royal family, I think it does

Imagine a Black royal who made ugly faces at servants, or snarls at them for improper pen placement.  What would the public say? Heck, they went nuts when a Black royal sent emails to servants after 5 pm, or touched her baby bump.  

Charles, however, can look as ugly and angry as he wants, and it's Ok because--what?--his hands hurt? The man has coasted through life without even applying his own toothpaste, and enjoyed endless privilege. He falls to pieces when his hands hurt?  That shows weakness and a lack of discipline. Ick.

 

 

 

Meghan experienced racism in the UK at times and that's inexcusable.

As is you reducing her to nothing more than the sum of her genetics.

There are plenty of people BEC over both sides of this, acting like this is all because of one facet of her is beyond that.  

What is your end game?  Do you think this approach will result in civil dialogue where both sides may learn something? Because hyperbole and this tone never leads to that.

Just because you made a tangential comment about Charles doesn't mean this post isn't about your personal brigade on Meghan and race so I'm moving this to The H&M thread.  You've been warned to stop spewing this on other threads, stop doing this.

 

[Mama Mia]

17 minutes ago, Jackie3 said:

In the royal family, I think it does

Imagine a Black royal who made ugly faces at servants, or snarls at them for improper pen placement.  What would the public say? Heck, they went nuts when a Black royal sent emails to servants after 5 pm, or touched her baby bump.  

Charles, however, can look as ugly and angry as he wants, and it's Ok because--what?--his hands hurt? The man has coasted through life without even applying his own toothpaste, and enjoyed endless privilege. He falls to pieces when his hands hurt?  That shows weakness and a lack of discipline. Ick.

 

 

 

Obviously there has been a great deal of racism in the way that Meghan has been treated, at least by the press and the twitterverse. I have no idea if the immediate family treated her differently because of her race — but it would be surprising if some of them weren’t at minimum unconsciously more judgmental because of it. But they are judgmental AF in general, and classist, and privileged beyond measure, and have lived in a micro bubble of nationalistic elitism forever — so it’s probably hard for them to tease out which bias is  predominant.

 However it’s kind of ludicrous to say it’s ONLY  racism that gets people in a lather about the royal family,  look how Harry’s mother was both extremely beloved and hounded to her -literal- death.  This is a family who only 40 years ago, in this modern day, f**d up a lot of lives because they insisted that their 30 something son marry a virgin. A virgin! In 1981! Of course they “had” to find an exceedingly sheltered teenager. With William at least they didn’t make that requirement, but you don’t overcome that kind of medieval obsession with “breeding”  in a few decades.  

Actually, personally, for a totally irrelevant reason, because imo the monarchy is kind of silly-  I’m very disappointed that Meghan isn’t there at all the balls and pageants in a god-damn mile high tiara and gown every freaking day. There is one particular child in my family who responds really well whenever she sees a prominent woman who looks more like her. - whether it’s a movie princess or a real life princess - it’s good to see. So like most people I know, Meghan has been given the benefit of the doubt, and then some.  I still hope the family sorts out their mess and she’s up there on the balcony waving at big events. 

I assume Charles is generally something of a douche. However I can have some empathy in the circumstances. Would I have the same empathy if Charles were non-white - yes.  I know, personally, from experience, that I would. Would Twitter? Probably not. But then we are also imagining a scenario where we had a non-white king with THAT degree of money and power and coverage - which would be a different world altogether. So who knows? 
 

 

 

[Jackie3]

King Harry and his Toy Soldiers.

Actually, I think they look like his bodyguards. 

 

[EmCatlyn]

I had read a day or two ago that there was a dinner at Buckingham Palace scheduled for the evening before the funeral.  The report said only working royals would be present.  Since the dinner was for heads of state (an “official” rather than a “family” event), this made sense.

Now I run into a headline that Harry and Meghan had been invited but then “uninvited.” (This came via Yahoo, who got it from Telegraph, so let’s bring out the salt shaker.)  

Quote

While the Sussexes received an invitation earlier this week, they were then told the event was for "working members of the royal family only." Per The Telegraph, it remains unclear "why they had received an invitation for an occasion that Royal aides insisted they were not expected to attend" and sources close to Harry and Meghan were "baffled" by the entire mixup. Meanwhile, palace aides still "insist that they were not invited and were not expected to show up."
Yahoo

If The Telegraph didn’t make it up, then there seem to be four possibilities.

1. Buckingham Palace sent an invitation to M & H by mistake. 
2. Meghan and Harry’s people made a mistake and thought there was an invitation for this dinner when there wasn’t.
3. M & H’s people made up that they had an invitation because it gets M &H attention.
4. They were invited originally but the Palace realized the table was not big enough and had to rescind the invitation.

Why is there a drama about everything?

[just_ordinary]

5. Someone said something and got misunderstood/phrased it too vague 

6. They got an invitation to a completely different dinner and the whole drama is spun from nothing.

I mean who was the source for the intel? 

Because the first everyone heard was it’s a state dinner for working royals. Which should have been a no brainier and didn’t need any extra clarification anyway. And even if there was a mess up earlier-no one noticed so no need to clarify. 

Personal conspiracy theory: H&M leaked it to guilt Charles into an invitation. Just like I believe they did it with H getting permission for a uniform. 

[EmCatlyn]

2 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

5. Someone said something and got misunderstood/phrased it too vague 

6. They got an invitation to a completely different dinner and the whole drama is spun from nothing.

I mean who was the source for the intel? 

Because the first everyone heard was it’s a state dinner for working royals. Which should have been a no brainier and didn’t need any extra clarification anyway. And even if there was a mess up earlier-no one noticed so no need to clarify. 

Personal conspiracy theory: H&M leaked it to guilt Charles into an invitation. Just like I believe they did it with H getting permission for a uniform. 

The “permission for the uniform” thing may not have come from Harry but from fans. No one could understand why Andrew should be allowed to be in uniform but not Harry.

However, if H & M get invited to the dinner, we will know two things: (1) Harry used the confusion to guilt Charles and (2) it worked.  That it worked would worry me the most.