Fundie essentials

[neuroticcat]

OK, friends. I’m back to working on a novel set in a quiverfull fundie family. What do FJ experts see as important  components to include for communicating the culture? Would love your insights.

Here’s a few elements I’m already incorporating:

-SAHD

-blanket training

-QF emphasis on more babies

-abuse 

-courtship 

-evangelism ministries

-conferences

-homeschooling

Thanks everyone!

[JermajestyDuggar]

Purity culture

Blame any kind of sexual assault on the victim 

Umbrella of authority

Joyfully available

Submission to husband

Instant obedience 

Jesus first, others second, yourself last

Dress modestly so men won’t stumble

Men are animals who constantly think about sex

Homebirths are preferred

MLMs run rampant in fundie circles

Men and women can’t be friends

sister momming

 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

Not all, but many fundie children live at home until marriage. Usually in households where adults live at home, it's children of both sexes. Not everyone uses the term SAHD. SAHD refers to a particular movement.

In the same vein, Quiverfull refers to a particular movement.  I would say that a lot of fundies are anti-birth control or leave it up to God. It doesn't have to be Quiverfull.

[noseybutt]

Depending on what year your novel is set--
 

grinding wheat to make homemade bread

ordering stables like wheat berries, beans, rice, etc in bulk to save money

making homemade yogurt or kefir or kombucha for gut health

restricting internet access to kids but mom having a serious social media presence

Republican voter guides from church

a time schedule for the entire family a la Terri Maxwell

drama over the local homeschool group's statement of faith---should Mormons or Catholics be included, what about people who think earth is older than 6000 years 

reference real homeschool curriculum: Abeka, Sonlight, Rod and Staff, Singapore math, etc

essential oils 

using a sharpie to add clothes to picture of classical nude sculptures or paintings in books

some sort of alternative to Boy Scouts or Girls Scouts---eg Contenders for the Faith, Awanas, American Heritage Girls

drama over whether to let the kids to do youth group

sponsoring a child from sort of missionary type organization

morning devotionals by mom before the household wakes up

Happy Birthday Jesus cake at Christmas time

Resurrection Sunday instead of Easter

Reformation Day instead of Halloween

Anti vax (not just covid)

Those Vision Forum walkie talkies worn on the wrist by moms and their kids (circa 2010-2012)

 

Cleary this is too much fun for me. LOL.

 

 

 

[neuroticcat]

7 minutes ago, noseybutt said:

 

 

Those Vision Forum walkie talkies worn on the wrist by moms and their kids (circa 2010-2012)

 

Cleary this is too much fun for me. LOL.

 

 

 

Wait, what? How have I never heard about the wallow talkies? 
 

And thabk you everyone! These ideas are great!

[noseybutt]

23 minutes ago, neuroticcat said:

Wait, what? How have I never heard about the wallow talkies? 
 

And thabk you everyone! These ideas are great!

One of my favorite homeschooling stories involves those damn things.

I was at the park with a bunch of other moms. The 7+ age kids were playing quite a distance away in a group. One mom was sitting with her back to the kids and facing the other moms, and showing off her walking talkie. She explained that this was how she could give her kids some freedom and still check in with them. And she demonstrates checking in.

Approximately five minutes later, I noticed one of her kids beating the snot out of another kid.

And mom is oblivious. Because kid had figured out how to mute it or whatever. I yell at mom and go running over to the kids. It takes mom a very long time to follow. Because she is confused. VF kids check in with their mommies. They do not beat the snot out of each other.

LOL

 

[NachosFlandersStyle]

I would definitely recommend the "Leaving Eden" podcast -- Sadie is ex-IFB and offers a ton of detail about daily life in the cult.

[mango_fandango]

I enjoy writing stories and have sometimes thought about doing a fundie-related one, maybe about someone who escapes the lifestyle and has to deal with her upbringing. 

[hoipolloi]

Have the characters speak fundie. You know, stuff like "in this season," "come alongside," or "I purposed to [do something]."

Good luck, and please let us know when it's available to read!

[JermajestyDuggar]

37 minutes ago, hoipolloi said:

Have the characters speak fundie. You know, stuff like "in this season," "come alongside," or "I purposed to [do something]."

Good luck, and please let us know when it's available to read!

Yes. Also use “blessed, fellowship, walk through this hardship together, pour into me, and expecting.”

[clueliss]

What about the SBC screwed up complementariaaism.  

[neuroticcat]

17 hours ago, hoipolloi said:

 

Good luck, and please let us know when it's available to read!

Will do! FJ will for sure be in acknowledgments! 

[Katzchen24]

You've probably got enough stuff now, but...... More language like 'being convicted of........' something (and not in the Pest way); 'having a heart for......' something; 'having a servants heart'.

It's more of a visual thing but the adoring fundie maiden/wife gaze when regarding their father/fiance/husband.

The complete lack of personal privacy for every child, and the complete lack of personal and bodily autonomy for the girls. The enforcement of binary gender classification. 

 

[danvillebelle]

1 hour ago, Katzchen24 said:

something; 'having a servants heart'.

That makes me think of Tim Hawkins' joke about that phrase - "Tim, you have a SERVANT'S HEART.  That's when I knew I'd be stacking chairs." 

[Columbia]

You need the big name pastor’s wife/daughter who has a huge platform and an even bigger bank account from telling women not do to whatever she’s doing (working outside the home, preaching, submission, having dozens of kids, etc.)

[hoipolloi]

24 minutes ago, Columbia said:

big name pastor’s wife/daughter

Yes, as in Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth.

[Howl]

DENIM FRUMPERS!!!!!!!!!  All the crazy with modesty panels, skirts only, denim skirts/frumpers.  This was all fundy rage for awhile, although some of these families left frumpers behind and began wearing stylish, contemporary clothes. 

Michael Pearl's book: How to Train Up Beat Up a Child  and the equally horrible, horrible HORRIBLE Gary Ezzo books (Babywise) on how to destroy your child's infant years:  "The American Academy of Pediatrics has issued a statement warning against Babywise; pediatricians and lactation consultants have noted that Babywise babies have often shown failure to thrive (FTT), poor milk supply in the mothers (due to not feeding on-demand), and involuntary early weaning." 

Joyful countenance/keep sweet

Also the whole deal with the home-based business, keeping the family even more insular.  Or the mom developing a home-based business. 

This keeps the dad and sons from ever being under the authority of a woman boss, or even dealing with non-family women employees in the work place. 

Also, women cannot work outside the home unless it's the family business. 

There are a few categories of work that come to mind: dog breeding, photography, IT support/website design.  One family developed a very successful internet based business, maybe through EBay?  Can't remember. 

Family Integrated Churches and home-based church. 

The Botkin family has some portion of all of these elements.  

********

This just crossed my mind: If you want some insight into the crazy of Mormon patriarchy and a home-based business that arises out of the father's horrible accident: Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover  (nonfiction). 

The dad ran a junkyard, started a very successful herbal business out of their house after a horrible accident,  but two of the kids (including Tara)  managed to escape their insular life in southern Idaho,  get PhDs and become academics.  I'm wandering here, but it's an absolutely amazing read. 

Edited June 27, 2022 by Howl

[Sarcastically spinster]

3 hours ago, Howl said:

DENIM FRUMPERS!!!!!!!!!  All the crazy with modesty panels, skirts only, denim skirts/frumpers.  This was all fundy rage for awhile, although some of these families left frumpers behind and began wearing stylish, contemporary clothes. 

Not forgetting sewing up slits in skirts or sewing a pleat into the slit to prevent the "peek-a-boo" effect with all these sensuous calves.  

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Add:

Girls wearing a tee shirt under all shirts to cover up those sexy, sexy collarbones. 

Exercising/hiking in long skirts

Bathing suits are of the devil

Retro fitting a wedding dress to be more modest  (Anna Duggar's sad T-shirt wedding dress)

Having a secret word to alert male family members an immodestly dressed woman is approaching (Nike!!!)

Huge families in matching shirts (Duggar red shirts)

A reality show (Duggars, Batessses,, etc.)

A sex scandal. 

[Howl]

• Photos of the mega family with mother-daughter, father-son matching outfits or stair-step photos of the children in birth order. 
• Newly married young fundy women blogging on the key to a successful marriage and providing marriage advice and fundy women blogging in general.  
• Fundy family vlogs showing how fabulous their family is...until they get divorced or take a break for a season. 
• Fundy women with huge facebook and Instagram accounts who go dark when things don't work out (I'm talking about YOU, Shoshanna Easling!).
• Fundy women with thousands of followers who blog, FaceBook and Instagram adamantly about X, Y or Z,  who change course on something they have previously been adamant about, and pretend that nothing has changed. 

[hoipolloi]

21 minutes ago, Howl said:

I'm talking about YOU, Shoshanna Easling!

Update: She recently resumed posting on FB but just to solicit prayers for an infant nephew that is seriously ill with congenital heart-lung issues. The child needs a heart transplant but isn't eligible for the waitlist because he is completely unvaccinated.  Shoshanna and her leghumpers are deluging the hospital with hate messages and have elevated the issue to Candace Owens & similar outlets. Nothing like that True Christian ™️ loving kindness.

31 minutes ago, Howl said:

Fundy women with thousands of followers who blog, FaceBook and Instagram adamantly about X, Y or Z,  who change course on something they have previously been adamant about, and pretend that nothing has changed. 

Thinking of Jennie Chancey here.

[Columbia]

The divorced/widowed mom with six kids desperately trying to eek out a living on donations from the church and selling handcrafts on Etsy/giving piano lessons/photography while homeschooling. 

[KWLand]

Tracts

Repeated prayer for salvation

baptism at a young age

self published books

grifting

spoon for spanking

Rvs

trust god instead of safety precautions

[Howl]

3 hours ago, hoipolloi said:

Thinking of Jennie Chancey here.

Also Beall Phillips,  Erika Shupe.  

Erika was the mega organized blogger -- underlying OCD? -- was adamant about !homeschooling!, skirts only, SAHDs, the usual for her however many kids, 8 or 9?   Then, one day, she blogged about her amazing new discovery, that one could read a book while waiting in the car for school to be out. Not quite as big a deal as the Maxwell women making a getaway from Maxhell, but daaaaaamn.  Her followers were doing backflips because she was doing something she had been adamantly opposed to, harshly criticized and condemned others for doing .

Now Erika wears shorts and torn jeans, I'm assuming all the kids are still in public school, unless COVId has prompted some of the kids to return to homeshooling.  She's still very fundy and goes to a fundy church, but NEVER let her many followers know what led to this drastic change. 

In her facebook photos she looks relaxed and happy. 

I just found this list of large family blogs.  This poster is referencing at least two miniscule families, only 4 kids! mediumsizedfamily.com/large-family-blogs/

[Cults-r-us]

On 6/24/2022 at 7:21 PM, mango_fandango said:

I enjoy writing stories and have sometimes thought about doing a fundie-related one, maybe about someone who escapes the lifestyle and has to deal with her upbringing. 

You know how, in the Adams Family movies, the story line is most effective showing the Adams interact with normal people? Same gimmick for your book. I have two story lines:

 

1) The nice fundie husband/father operates a car mechanic shop. The local high school uses him as a mentor for their vocational auto mechanics class summer internship. Our hero notes the students are funnelled through vocational training, into internships at local businesses, then into junior college for classes that result in certification, enabling them to earn a decent salary to support many blessings.

Promptly he enrolls his sons into public school for vocational training (his children, who through the years, through the slats in the blinds on their windows, have viewed the neighbor children boarding school busses driven by Satan himself transporting them to ebil public school). His wife, clutching her pearls, gnashing her teeth and tearing her garments, dies a thousand deaths facing her fundie friends.

This is compounded by the fact the most gifted mechanic in the family is a daughter. Will her father let her enroll in school?

2) The family experiences a critical illness/injury. The fundie family rushes to the hospital. The fundie daughter observes the female surgeon and is inspired to pursue a career in medicine.

Then the family stays at the Ronald McDonald house where they experience meeting all kinds of families, united in grief and trauma bonding.

Anybody remember Emily of Emily and DNA traumatized by eating the nice Ronald McDonald house cookie instead of the fermented slime she had at home? Think culture shock for the people at the Ronald McDonald house wondering wtf?