Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 38

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Look, the reboot of "Dumb and Dumber":

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Ted's racist dog whistle:

 

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"Legitimate Political Discourse"

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Last week, Donald Trump admitted he lost the election and tried to steal it when he said Mike Pence should have overturned it.

Yesterday while speaking to the Federalist Society at an event in Florida, the former vice president replied to Trump’s bogus claim. Now keep in mind that during the Trump administration, there was no bigger kisser of Donald Trump’s ass than Mike Pence. This guy probably snored “thanks to the leadership of President (sic) Trump.” And as much as he may disagree with Trump today, he will never be able to get all the brown off his nose. In fact, it’s a scientific miracle he was somehow able to extract it from Donald Trump’s ass without the jaws of life.

Pence told the Federalist Society (a group where all six conservative members of the Supreme Court have been members), “There are those in our party who believe that as the presiding officer over the joint session of Congress, I possessed unilateral authority to reject Electoral College votes. And I heard this week that President Trump said I had the right to ‘overturn the election.”

And then Mike Pence, the biggest ass kisser in the history of ass kissers, said, “President Trump is wrong.”

Mike Pence elaborated and said, “I had no right to overturn the election. The presidency belongs to the American people, and the American people alone. Frankly, there is almost no idea more un-American than the notion that any one person could choose the American president.”

You know, I bet this is not going to appeal to all those white nationalist terrorists storming through the Capitol building on January 6, 2021, while chanting “hang Mike Pence.” And, I bet it’s not going to appeal to the Republican National Committee which on the same day that Pence called out Trump, censured House Members Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger for their participation in the House select committee investigating the Jan. 6 attack at the Capitol. 

The RNC also declared on Friday that the over 700 white nationalists who were charged with crimes, including sedition, for their involvement in the terrorist attack were just exercising “legitimate political discourse.”

Basically, The Republican National Committee believes attacking the Capitol building, trying to overturn a democratic election, trying to install a fascist wannabe who lost the election as an unelected dictator, attempting a coup, breaking and entering into the Capitol, defecating and urinating on the floors, chanting “hang Mike Pence” while rampaging through the building with a noose, waving a Confederate flag in the building, stealing government property, trying to overthrow the government and destroy democracy while physically attacking cops is just exercising “legitimate political discourse.”

I bet the RNC wouldn’t call it “legitimate political discourse” if ANTIFA broke into their offices, beat their asses with flag poles, attacked them with bear spray, spread feces on their walls, stole property, bit their fingers off, and made several of them have heart attacks with several more committing suicide later. Hell, Republicans grab their assault rifles when black people merely walk by.

Back to Mike Pence, don’t worry that he’s changed too much. He’s still a worm. While disagreeing with Trump, he had to let out one dog whistle. I mean, he had to say something that’d get an audience of racist right-wing goons to applaud.

Pence said, “Under the Constitution, I had no right to change the outcome of our election. And Vice President Kamala Harris will have no right to overturn the election when we beat them in 2024.”

What makes Mike Pence believe Vice President Kamala Harris is going to try to overturn an election if the GOP wins in 2024? Granted, the Republicans are going to try to steal every election between now and eternity, but there’s been no indication that Democrats will try to stop an electoral college count or the certification of a presidential election. But, maybe he just needed the red meat as Republicans love to beat up on Kamala Harris because she is a black woman. As we’ve seen over the past two weeks…and all time, conservatives have a lot of trouble with black women.

Pence needs to stop kissing all this right-wing ass because they’re never going to give him anything ever again. They feel he betrayed them by his obeying the United States Constitution. Republicans are not constitutionalists anymore. They’re a cult. Mike Pence followed the cult until January 6, 2021, when he decided to go with the Constitution and put America first. The cult puts Trump first.

After four years of loyalty, Mike Pence still hasn’t learned that Trump and the cult don’t return loyalty.

 

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"Big Head Rudy"

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I was scrolling down my Facebook news feed yesterday and saw a Daily Beast article about Rudy Giuliani being on The Masked Singer. I thought it was weird there was an Onion headline at the Daily Beast, so I clicked the link…and it didn’t work. So, I figured there must be some sort of problem or glitch that somehow landed an Onion headline on a feed from a legitimate news outlet. I mean, Rudy Giuliani on The Masked Singer? That’s satire, right? 

Nope. Rudy Giuliani appeared on The Masked Singer. But keep in mind, he also once did a drag thing where he dressed as an ugly woman who Donald Trump was hitting on. I don’t know if that was for a television program or just a Tuesday. 

Just to be sure I wasn’t being hoodwinked by some parody site, I did a Google news search for “Rudy Giuliani” and “Masked Singer,” and there it was. Seriously. 

As Jimmy Kimmel said, “Only Rudy Giuliani would try to overthrow the government, break wind loudly in court, sweat hair dye all over one press conference, have another one next to a dildo store and then try to rehabilitate his image by singing ‘Shake Your Groove Thing’ dressed as a pineapple.”

I have a CNN deadline I need to meet, so let’s cut my creative process short today, and do some more comedian quotes.

“Now, if you’re not familiar with ‘The Masked Singer,’ congratulations.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Once again, Rudy Giuliani ruins the day by showing people his face.” — TREVOR NOAH

“Why would Rudy even agree to this? Did he think he was going to ‘The Masked Singer Landscaping Company’?” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Rudy’s episode has not aired yet, so we don’t know much beyond that. Fox isn’t revealing what his swan song was, or which animal costume Rudy wore, though it was safe to assume he was a jackass.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“One of the most chilling phrases in the English language is ‘Surprise! It’s Rudy Giuliani!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“The only people who should be unmasking Rudy Giuliani is the gang from ‘Scooby Doo,’ you know?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
Note: I did a Rudy Giuliani Scooby Doo cartoon last year.

“That’s right, the criminal goon that we know for a fact is being investigated for trying to overthrow our democracy for his idiot emperor was yukking it up on a reality show. There hasn’t been anything this shocking since Lee Harvey Oswald made a guest appearance on ‘Gilligan’s Island.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“How does this even happen? I mean, a lot of people at Fox had to sign off on this. Not one of them was like, ‘Hey, maybe we shouldn’t have the guy who is under investigation for helping to plot an insurrection singing on our show’?” — JIMMY KIMMEL

Jimmy makes a great point. How can any television executive believe it’s a great idea to put a gangster who helped try to overthrow the government on a reality television show, or at least one that’s not Celebrity Apprecentice. It’s tacky. Dancing With The Stars didn’t bring bin Laden on to do the Charleston. Laugh-In didn’t bring in Charles Manson, though they did bring in Richard Nixon.

But this is Fox. Don’t forget that a month or so ago, they brought on Sarah Palin who is now arguing in an unrelated court case that her appearance on the Masked Singer shouldn’t be mentioned as it’ll give the jury a biased opinion of her. That’s another thing to wonder about. How do you find 12 people in this nation with an unbiased opinion of Sarah Palin?

While Fox executives may be brain dead and totally classless, two of the judges on The Masked Singer do have class. Judges Ken Jeong (of tiny penis fame from his The Hangover appearance) and Robin Thicke (who I’m sure was famous for something before becoming a judge on this crappy reality TV show) walked out after Rudy’s mask came off. 

Rudy Giuliani doesn’t need to be singing on a bad reality TV show, though I’m sure he desperately needs the cash because I heard Donald Trump stopped paying him for his “legal” work. He’s also lost his ability to practice law in New York and Washington, D.C. for being a lying goon. Where Rudy does need to be singing is before the January 6 Committee.

And if Rudy wants, I’m sure the committee won’t mind if he wears the giant pineapple costume. 

 

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2 hours ago, GreyhoundFan said:

“That’s right, the criminal goon that we know for a fact is being investigated for trying to overthrow our democracy for his idiot emperor was yukking it up on a reality show. There hasn’t been anything this shocking since Lee Harvey Oswald made a guest appearance on ‘Gilligan’s Island.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

This had a visual to go with it:

Spoiler

 

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