Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 38

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Continued from here:

 

 

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"The SCOTUS Open"

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In ruling that the Biden administration can’t force large businesses to enact vaccine mandates, the conservative majority of the United States Supreme Court argued that the coronavirus is not an “occupational work hazard.” Don’t worry if they’re wrong because every member of the Supreme Court is vaccinated, so they don’t have to deal with the coronavirus hazard at their workplace.

The mandate applied to companies with over 100 employees. It required all employees to be vaccinated or be tested every week. This would have affected over 82 million workers, which is two-thirds of the U.S. workforce. Now thanks to the Supreme Court, you can still be an employed gaslighting anti-vaxxer Fauci-hating fucknut.

The Biden administration estimated the rule would save our nation from over 250,000 hospitalizations.

This was an OSHA (Occupational Safety and Health Administration) designed rule, but the court doesn’t want OSHA to have any authority. They claim despite factories, meat-packing plants, grocery stores, distribution centers, etc, being super-spreader environments, covid is not an occupational hazard.

Previously, a three-judge panel of the sixth US Circuit Court of Appeals had decided the Osha rule was “an important step in curtailing the transmission of a deadly virus that has killed over 800,000 people in the United States, brought our healthcare system to its knees, and cost hundreds of thousands of workers their jobs.” This pandemic is an extreme event and the federal government should do everything it can to protect its citizens.

SCOTUS is afraid big government is overstepping its boundaries, but the Biden administration isn’t forcing people to be vaccinated. If anything, it hasn’t gone far enough. We need vaccine mandates for traveling on planes and trains. Hell, there should be a federal mandate for family get-togethers, maybe just to keep the creepy ranting uncles in their attics where they belong.

The majority on the nation’s highest court is ignoring that when you get COVID, it’s not just yours. It’s not a choice (which they also disagree with). This is a pandemic of the unvaccinated. You have very little control if you catch it or not. The court’s ruling acts as if the government is infringing upon people’s right to catch and spread covid. What will they rule against next? Free vaccinations, free N95 masks, and free testing?

The conservative majority on the court is also afraid allowing OSHA to regulate here would expand its authority without congressional approval. But, Section 2 of the Occupational Safety and Health Act of 1970 says “Congress declares it to be its purpose and policy, to assure so far as possible every working man and woman in the Nation safe and healthful working conditions [and] assure insofar as practicable that no employee will suffer diminished health, functional capacity, or life expectancy as a result of his work experience.” If you catch covid at work, that’s a work experience.

OSHA’s power to regulate here was literally approved by Congress.

So far, I’ve caught two things the majority had to invent to issue their ruling. The first is that the coronavirus is not an occupational hazard. The second is that OSHA doesn’t have congressional approval.

But, since OSHA does have congressional approval to regulate where there are occupational hazards, this ruling is bullshit.

The Supreme Court’s conservative majority had to worm and squirm to find some easily debunked crap to base their opinion on. Next, they’ll base their rulings on Facebook memes.

The Supreme Court did allow the Biden rule to stand on vaccine mandates for hospital workers. This is a good thing because their other ruling against vaccine mandates is really going to put more people into hospitals.

 

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"Racist Racists"

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Once again, the people who scream loudest about “cancel culture,” political correctness, and cry that people are trying to take away their freedom of speech, are whining about President Joe Biden’s speech on the Voting Rights Act. This is another opportunity for white Christians to play like the most persecuted people in the history of persecutions.

President Biden went to Atlanta and if it wasn’t Hotlanta before, it is now. In his speech, President Biden compared those opposing the Voting Rights Act to racists of yore.

President Biden challenged Republicans in the Senate, and probably elsewhere, with the comparisons. He asked, “Do you want to be on the side of Dr. King or George Wallace? Do you want to be on the side of John Lewis or Bull Connor? Do you want to be on the side of Abraham Lincoln or Jefferson Davis? This is the moment to decide, to defend our elections, to defend our democracy. If you do that you will not be alone.”

It was a strong speech. Asked about the criticism, White House spokesperson Jen Psaki said, “I know there has been a lot of claim of the offensive nature of the speech yesterday, which is hilarious on many levels, given how many people sat silently over the last four years for the former president, but I would note that in our view, and the president’s view, what is far more offensive is the effort to suppress people’s basic right to exercise who they want to support and who they want to elect. That’s not a partisan thing, and that was why he gave such a strong speech yesterday.”

Republicans were upset. Even some Democrats were upset. Democratic Senator Dick Durbin said, “Perhaps the President went a little too far in his rhetoric.” Maybe Republicans are right about some Democrats because Durbin has gone snowflake us on.

But most of the people pissed off about the speech are the people who actually stand with Jefferson Davis, Bull Connor, and George Wallace.

Mitch McConnell, who spent four years burying his face between the ass cheeks of President Grab-Them-By-The-Pussy, called the president’s speech “unpresidential.” He also called it an “incoherent rant.” I bet Bull Connor would have appreciated that.

Tulsi Gabbard, a former Democratic representative who’s in the wrong party, compared Biden’s speech to when Hillary Clinton called Trump supporters “deplorables,” calling that “divisive and disgusting.” She tweeted, “But Biden has gone further, calling those who disagree with his actions & policies domestic enemies, traitors, and racists. Biden promised to unite us, but he is doing all he can to divide us.”

But here’s the thing, kiddos, Hillary Clinton was right. The people who support Trump are deplorable. Voting for a grifting lying racist who boasts about assaulting women, mocks the handicapped, and cuddles up to Vladimir Putin is deplorable. And Joe Biden is right too.

The people writing the new voting restriction laws based on the Big Lie are on the same side as Jefferson David, Bull Connor, and George Wallace. If you support making it harder for minorities to vote, congratulations. You’re supporting racist policies.

Gabbard said it’s “divisive” to call people who disagree with Biden’s policies “domestic enemies, traitors, and racists,” but he didn’t do that. He was talking specifically about voting rights. But ya’ know, those people who attacked the election results, and then tried to overturn an election and destroy our democracy by attacking the Capitol are domestic enemies. The people who tried to install Donald Trump as an unelected leader are terrorists.

Basically, President Joe Biden is in trouble for calling racists “racist.” Racists don’t like being called “racist.” It’s so unfair to the racists.

Why can’t racists support a racist president without being called “racist?”

Why can’t racists support racist policies, like making it harder for black people to vote, without being called “racist?”

Why can’t racists join racist clubs, like Oath Keepers, One Percenters, Proud Boys, and Q Anon, without being called “racist?”

It’s like this: Being a Republican doesn’t mean you’re a racist, but all racists vote for Republicans. If you’re a Republican, you’re on the same side as racists. If you vote Republican, you’re voting the same candidates the racists vote for. Your ballot is identical to David Duke’s ballot.

And I cut you some slack in 2016 and spent four years saying that voting for Donald Trump doesn’t mean you’re a racist…but it does now.

If you voted for Donald Trump in 2020, you’re a racist. You had four years of him spouting racist shit and policies from the White House. In 2016, you might have voted for Donald Trump despite the racism. Racism was not a deal-breaker for you in 2016. In 2020, you didn’t vote for Donald Trump despite his racism. You voted for Donald Trump because of his racism.

And if you try to pass off that bullshit, “Donald Trump isn’t a racist,” then you’re a fucking racist.

President Biden can’t call racists “racist.” He’ll get in trouble for it. But I can.

I like being on the side of Abraham Lincoln, Dr. King, and John Lewis. If you don’t like being called a racist, that’s your own stupid fault for being on the side of Jefferson Davis, Bull Connor, and George Wallace. It’s your own fault for being a racist.

 

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"Boris and Andrew"

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While the rest of the world makes fun of us for stupid shit like politicizing a virus and handing the White House over to a racist grifting “pussy-grabbing” clown game show host, we can take some comfort in that we’re not alone. Other first-world nations also have to deal with their occasional lunatics too.

Racism sells, not just in the United States but also in the UK. What do you think Brexit was? Here, our most recent winner was Virginia governor Glenn Youngkin whose entire campaign was a bunch of racist dog whistles.

And it’s like the UK didn’t learn from our mistake of putting a guy with ridiculous bleached hair into leadership. Anyone who chooses to look like that should be disqualified on that alone, even before you get to the racism. Boris Johnson also won his position with racist lies. Now, Boris is in danger of being tossed out as Prime Minister over going to a bring-your-own-booze party during the pandemic and the UK’s period of lockdowns. And if you think it’s bad that your own party may oust you, what about being kicked to the curb by your own mother?

Prince Andrew has been stripped of his scarlet tunics, white plumes,, military titles, and honorary patronages by his own mother, Queen Elizabeth II. It’s his own damn fault too.

Here’s some free unsolicited life advice, kids: Don’t be friends with pedophiles. Also, don’t be a pedophile.

Former presidents Bill Clinton and Donald Trump (sic) could have used the advice of not being friends with pedophiles, such as Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell. There is no evidence Bill Clinton ever engaged in such sick behavior, but he was pals with Epstein. There’s no evidence Donald Trump ever assaulted a minor. There’s only footage of him dancing with Jeffrey Epstein at Mar-a-Lago, one rape accusation, another incident caught on tape of him saying he’ll be dating a ten-year-old as soon as she’s old enough, and all the instances of him publicly boasting about wanting to bang his daughter. Right after Tiffany was born, he publicly speculated on her future breast size. At least the English can claim they never voted for Prince Andrew. What’s our excuse?

Prince Andrew is in the midst of a civil suit in New York City after a judge said it can move forward. One of Epstein’s victims claims she was trafficked to Andrew three times.

Andrew says he never met his victim despite there being a photo (he claims is a fake) of him with his arm around her exposed midriff. The victim also claims he sweated all over her on a club dance floor which he says is impossible because he lost the ability to sweat from an incident in the Falkland Island War. I bet this trial has brought that ability back.

Expect Andrew to settle this lawsuit as he’s embarrassed his Queen mum and royal family enough. Any testimony from the failed prince will be a disaster. If he settles, he’ll most likely pay that out of his own pocket. But then again, how did a Prince obtain the money he has? The English taxpayers have funded his entire life…including his lifestyle of partying with pedophiles.

Prince Andrew is lucky this is a civil trial, but what comes after that? Can a prince be on a sex-offender registry?

And what will Boris do if he’s ousted? Will he claim it was fake and he’ll be reinstated soon? Maybe he’ll start doing boxing commentary.

Personally, I’d like to see Boris Johnson and Donald Trump go on a speaking tour together. But who’d get top billing? Would it be the “Boris and Donald Show” or the “Trump and Johnson Tour?” We could settle that problem with a title like “The Ridiculous Hair Club Tour.”

 

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"Youngkin, Day One"

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Glenn Youngkin made sure on his very first day as Virginia’s governor (ack) that we’d know just how horrible and inept he’s going to be.

On his first day as governor (ack) of Virginia, Youngkin signed 11 executive orders with one banning the teaching of “divisive concepts.” What are “divisive concepts”? Anything that scares white conservatives. What they’re aiming at here is Critical Race Theory, which Glenn Youngkin can’t even explain to you less enough, find one example of it actually being taught in a Virginia public school. But banning something that doesn’t exist makes it look like you accomplished something and got rid of it. Good job, Governor (ack) Fucknut. I have another idea. Let’s ban wooly mammoths from show-and-tell day.

Let’s go over it again. Critical Race Theory is centered around the idea that American society is presently impacted by the legacy of slavery and how that legacy factors into laws in the United States, business, culture, education, economics, opportunities, and all aspects of American culture. It’s less of a theory and more of an actual thing. Republicans claim this is a myth and to prove it, they ban it from being taught. How many times now have I told you Republicans don’t get irony? It’s like punching anyone who accuses you of being a violent person. Many states have banned the teaching of Critical Race Theory in the same legislative sessions they were crafting laws making it harder for black people to vote. Maybe we should teach irony in public schools…or in this case, private schools.

By the way, most private schools were founded during desegregation so rich white kids wouldn’t have to go to school with all the incoming black kids. It’s still the only real reason for private schools. Fight me on that.

Governor (ack) Youngkin also banned mandates requiring face masks to be worn in public schools. For the record, Critical Race Theory is not a real thing in public schools while Omicron is.

Governor (ack) Youngkin has one little problem with his mandate ban. That problem is, he can’t ban face masks mandates in public schools. There is a state law that says schools should adhere, “to the maximum extent practicable,” to any currently applicable mitigation strategies outlined by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Guess what the CDC advises with face mask mandates in public schools? The CDC guidelines include mask mandates for public schools.

Governor Youngkin (ack), being an idiot, has actually publicly supported this law by citing the part that “requires schools to offer full-time, in-person learning with limited exceptions.” He just didn’t read the second half of it.

Youngkin told an interviewer last week, “The way that Virginia works is that the governor cannot ban mask mandates. Schools make those decisions. We will in fact, then, also make sure that schools allow parents to exercise their rights for what’s best for their children, to opt-out of those mandates.” Uh…you know it’s not a mandate when you take away the mandate, right?

Republicans claim President Biden and Vice-President Harris are confusing but spend five seconds talking to this guy. Also, why should it be a parent’s decision that someone else’s kid gets covid? What’s next? Republican laws that make it easier for your kid to take a gun to school to kill someone else’s kid? Oh, wait.

Our new governor (ack) doesn’t know shit about education or science, so naturally, his first two executive orders were on schools and science.

The school systems in Arlington, Alexandria, and Fairfax are telling parents to ignore the new governor (Ugh) and that face mask mandates still stand. Ignoring idiots is good guidance. Maybe the CDC should issue something on that.

Youngkin is vowing to use state resources to attack schools that are trying to protect their students. This is reminiscent of when Attorney General (ack) Ken Cuccinelli used state resources to fight universities studying climate change. Enough with these goon agendas.

The General Assembly may change the law that requires schools to follow CDC guidelines, but the governor (ack) is trying to change the law all by himself with an executive order on his very first day in office (ack). Did I mention this was on his first day in office? It was on his first day in office our new governor (ack) tried to delete a law while creating more dangerous environments for our children. It’s going to be a long four years.

Congratulations, Virginia. You made a goon governor (ack).

 

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