Jeremiah and Hannah: Finally Declared

[Meggo]

3 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I would consider it a gift if I wasn’t invited some random woman’s baby shower! 

RIGHT? 
I mean - I know my mom goes to baby showers and wedding showers etc - kids of church friends and college roommates etc and that is FINE by me. Have fun! I may know (sort of) the connection that my mom has and I'm always "oh that's lovely - a little girl, how nice." but I do NOT need to go to a baby shower for someone I've never met. 
There were ladies at my baby shower that I did not know - and did get a thank you (in front of everyone) confused when there were TWO people with the same name and I thanked the one and not the other - oops. But it was my moms friends - not ALL of their female offspring... good gravy.

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 minutes ago, Meggo said:

RIGHT? 
I mean - I know my mom goes to baby showers and wedding showers etc - kids of church friends and college roommates etc and that is FINE by me. Have fun! I may know (sort of) the connection that my mom has and I'm always "oh that's lovely - a little girl, how nice." but I do NOT need to go to a baby shower for someone I've never met. 
There were ladies at my baby shower that I did not know - and did get a thank you (in front of everyone) confused when there were TWO people with the same name and I thanked the one and not the other - oops. But it was my moms friends - not ALL of their female offspring... good gravy.

 

I was insanely picky about my baby shower. I was a pregzilla 😉 it was small and I knew everyone invited very well. It was a wonderful time. I hate having to mingle with people I don’t know. I have too much social anxiety for that. 

[Meggo]

2 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I was insanely picky about my baby shower. I was a pregzilla 😉 it was small and I knew everyone invited very well. It was a wonderful time. I hate having to mingle with people I don’t know. I have too much social anxiety for that. 

My mom was OVER the moon to throw the baby shower for her only grandchild (who we adopted after years of infertility stuff). So I let her have it - with the caveat that my bestie be involved too. So I'd said no halls and no dumb games. And - since they picked a side room of a bar/restaurant - I got to have a beer to cope. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

5 minutes ago, Meggo said:

My mom was OVER the moon to throw the baby shower for her only grandchild (who we adopted after years of infertility stuff). So I let her have it - with the caveat that my bestie be involved too. So I'd said no halls and no dumb games. And - since they picked a side room of a bar/restaurant - I got to have a beer to cope. 

Yours sounds kind of like mine! I hate games too and the restaurant had alcohol. 

[theotherelise]

My baby shower was March 1, 2020 and it's the last one I attended! 

I enjoy giving people gifts, so that part is nice. I am a socially anxious introvert, so these kinds of prescribed interactions and reactions are hard for me. I think a lot of people have complicated feelings around baby showers and there are so many ways to hurt people. It just feels like a lot of people performing. But maybe people without social anxiety or completely straight forward and positive/neutral feelings about pregnancy/parenting/etc are totally cool with it!

I do love punch. Get me some punch and sherbet any day!

[Militant Fecundity]

I almost didn’t go to my baby shower. It was a surprise because my husband knows I hate parties in general, and his cover story was to tell me at the last minute that there was a bridal shower for his friend’s daughter, whom I had only met once, years before and didn’t know anyone she knew. I pitched a fit and refused to go because I barely knew them, I didn’t have a gift to give, because he sprang it on me only minutes prior, and I didn’t get an invitation anyway, so there was no way I was crashing a bridal shower that I wasn’t invited to.

I don’t even remember how it all went down (my blood sugar must have been low, because I’m usually a lot more stubborn), but he convinced me to go with him, just so he could duck in to congratulate his friend, and then leave. Weirdo.

We walked in, at it turns out that it was not a bridal shower, but a surprise BABY shower for me, lol.

[Bassett Lady]

11 minutes ago, Militant Fecundity said:

We walked in, at it turns out that it was not a bridal shower, but a surprise BABY shower for me, lol.

If my husband did this to me I would book him for a neurological exam  because if he did such a thing  he obviously has an undiagnosed brain tumor. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

18 minutes ago, Militant Fecundity said:

I almost didn’t go to my baby shower. It was a surprise because my husband knows I hate parties in general, and his cover story was to tell me at the last minute that there was a bridal shower for his friend’s daughter, whom I had only met once, years before and didn’t know anyone she knew. I pitched a fit and refused to go because I barely knew them, I didn’t have a gift to give, because he sprang it on me only minutes prior, and I didn’t get an invitation anyway, so there was no way I was crashing a bridal shower that I wasn’t invited to.

I don’t even remember how it all went down (my blood sugar must have been low, because I’m usually a lot more stubborn), but he convinced me to go with him, just so he could duck in to congratulate his friend, and then leave. Weirdo.

We walked in, at it turns out that it was not a bridal shower, but a surprise BABY shower for me, lol.

My husband knows I hate surprises with a passion so he would never go along with a surprise shower. Even if my family tried to strong arm him. Man I hate surprises.

[mpheels]

Many stores give newlyweds/new parents a discount on any left over registry items after the big day, so there is incentive to register for everything you might want/need. If you need to buy a toilet brush anyway, might as well get at 15% discount. 

[SorenaJ]

I hate surprises with a passion, but I am happy to act surprised, if anyone wants to throw me a "surprise" anything. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 hours ago, SorenaJ said:

I hate surprises with a passion, but I am happy to act surprised, if anyone wants to throw me a "surprise" anything. 

I think that would be the biggest problem for me. When I’m surprised, I act it. I don’t act happy or friendly. I act shocked. And I can’t talk. I basically shut down for a bit. I’m sure people would hate that kind of reaction. 

[Bad Wolf]

I used to hate showers given for me. Growing up in England, we didn't have them. (That may have changed since dinosaur days.) Then I figured out, that the shower was actually for the giver to express their joy in the event. After that, I was able to enjoy them, and thoroughly appreciate what was being done for me, instead of being  a completely embarrassed introvert.

[fluffernutter]

Oh, showers. My own experiences were both mortifying and lovely. I managed to avoid a wedding shower because we got married with just our immediate family invited on a fri night at my husband's childhood church. Then when I was pregnant with my first, my mother in law wanted to throw me a shower. We were young and broke and truly grateful to have help, but I was dreadfully shy. So her solution was to throw a couple's shower. Nice, right? Except the invite was "A Couple's Shower" and the inside said "A couple in the shower, that's what got them into this mess" or something awful along those lines. I remember my mil going berserk and doing paint touch up on their house, and my extended relatives showing up an hour early while she was still painting. That day was mortifying. My family is mostly poor and he is from solid middle/upper class, and they were poking around and commenting how I had "landed a good one." 🙄 Then, several years later we moved out of the country and had no baby stuff with us, and wouldn't ya know it! My husband's co-worker's wife threw a lovely, low-key baby shower and we had a nice time. My daughter got married in 2019 and wouldn't let anyone throw her a shower, she too hated the idea of being the center of attention. I do however love planning and throwing showers for my friends or sister in laws. I've never done it as a surprise though and have always involved the couple to make sure it was tailored to what they were happy with. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

16 minutes ago, fluffernutter said:

Oh, showers. My own experiences were both mortifying and lovely. I managed to avoid a wedding shower because we got married with just our immediate family invited on a fri night at my husband's childhood church. Then when I was pregnant with my first, my mother in law wanted to throw me a shower. We were young and broke and truly grateful to have help, but I was dreadfully shy. So her solution was to throw a couple's shower. Nice, right? Except the invite was "A Couple's Shower" and the inside said "A couple in the shower, that's what got them into this mess" or something awful along those lines. I remember my mil going berserk and doing paint touch up on their house, and my extended relatives showing up an hour early while she was still painting. That day was mortifying. My family is mostly poor and he is from solid middle/upper class, and they were poking around and commenting how I had "landed a good one." 🙄 Then, several years later we moved out of the country and had no baby stuff with us, and wouldn't ya know it! My husband's co-worker's wife threw a lovely, low-key baby shower and we had a nice time. My daughter got married in 2019 and wouldn't let anyone throw her a shower, she too hated the idea of being the center of attention. I do however love planning and throwing showers for my friends or sister in laws. I've never done it as a surprise though and have always involved the couple to make sure it was tailored to what they were happy with. 

I’m also “the helper” when it comes to my friends. I like helping out with things because then no one notices me much and I can still feel part of a large social event. If I have nothing to do at one of those events I can feel more social anxiety around the people I don’t know. So if I keep busy stocking the food and drinks and cleaning up, I’m much less anxious. 

[Audrey2]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’m also “the helper” when it comes to my friends. I like helping out with things because then no one notices me much and I can still feel part of a large social event. If I have nothing to do at one of those events I can feel more social anxiety around the people I don’t know. So if I keep busy stocking the food and drinks and cleaning up, I’m much less anxious. 

That's why I put myself on dishwashing duty as much as possible. 

[GuineaPigCourtship]

2 hours ago, fluffernutter said:

Except the invite was "A Couple's Shower" and the inside said "A couple in the shower, that's what got them into this mess" or something awful along those lines.

Well, that's pretty unfunny.  My MIL might jokingly say something like that to us if we'd had a situation like that, but we're pretty close to her and I've always gotten along with my husband's family.  She would NEVER say it to just anyone and she has a juvenile sense of humor and not much filter... not so different from my husband.  Sorry you had to deal with that embarrassment. 😞

[Meggo]

11 hours ago, fluffernutter said:

Oh, showers. My own experiences were both mortifying and lovely. I managed to avoid a wedding shower because we got married with just our immediate family invited on a fri night at my husband's childhood church. Then when I was pregnant with my first, my mother in law wanted to throw me a shower. We were young and broke and truly grateful to have help, but I was dreadfully shy. So her solution was to throw a couple's shower. Nice, right? Except the invite was "A Couple's Shower" and the inside said "A couple in the shower, that's what got them into this mess" or something awful along those lines. I remember my mil going berserk and doing paint touch up on their house, and my extended relatives showing up an hour early while she was still painting. That day was mortifying. My family is mostly poor and he is from solid middle/upper class, and they were poking around and commenting how I had "landed a good one." 🙄 Then, several years later we moved out of the country and had no baby stuff with us, and wouldn't ya know it! My husband's co-worker's wife threw a lovely, low-key baby shower and we had a nice time. My daughter got married in 2019 and wouldn't let anyone throw her a shower, she too hated the idea of being the center of attention. I do however love planning and throwing showers for my friends or sister in laws. I've never done it as a surprise though and have always involved the couple to make sure it was tailored to what they were happy with. 

Oh
MY

GOD. 

I would be mortified. Seriously. That's entirely too personal. Shudder. 
I don't mind showers that seem a little more like a holiday gathering. People at someone's house - everyone getting together, eating, enjoying the time etc. It's the "Sit here so everyone can watch you open presents that you picked out and make sure you oooo and ahhh over things like spatulas and toasters" that I hate. 
Also - I will fully admit that the years I went through infertility stuff - I haaated baby showers. I was always happy for the parents to be - but I didn't want to sit there and think about how sad *I* was for me during that time. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, Meggo said:

Oh
MY

GOD. 

I would be mortified. Seriously. That's entirely too personal. Shudder. 
I don't mind showers that seem a little more like a holiday gathering. People at someone's house - everyone getting together, eating, enjoying the time etc. It's the "Sit here so everyone can watch you open presents that you picked out and make sure you oooo and ahhh over things like spatulas and toasters" that I hate. 
Also - I will fully admit that the years I went through infertility stuff - I haaated baby showers. I was always happy for the parents to be - but I didn't want to sit there and think about how sad *I* was for me during that time. 

I was the same about baby showers when I dealt with infertility. I wasn’t mad someone else was pregnant. I was happy for them. I was just reminded of my own shitty issues at a baby shower. 

[PlentyOfJesusFishInTheSea]

I had a pandemic baby so no shower for me! (I'm fine with that. My mil wanted to do a traditional one. I wanted to organize a potluck with booze and no lame games!) We also never had a housewarming party. Maybe we'll do something for Bub's first birthday if we're not in the Omega wave by then...

[AnywhereButHere]

I am not good with surprise. After we got engaged, my husband told me we were going to see Les Mis in the city. Yay! I love Les Mis. I was so excited. We were living in different states, so I drove down, but didn't want to travel all dressed up, so he told me I could change at his parents' house on the way. We get to his parents, I head into the basement (still in jeans and a ratty sweater), only to find about 30 of his mom's friends all there to surprise me with a wedding shower. There is a picture of me on the stairs with my hand to my throat, looking like I'm going to yark all over the person just under the banister. Good times... His mom's friends are awesome, and more than a few are wickedly funny, but this was my first time meeting them, and you really have to be prepared to throw yourself into a group of funny, sarcastic, outspoken, pull no punches, partying Armenian broads. They will take you down! 😂

[PlentyOfJesusFishInTheSea]

1 hour ago, AnywhereButHere said:

I am not good with surprise. After we got engaged, my husband told me we were going to see Les Mis in the city. Yay! I love Les Mis. I was so excited. We were living in different states, so I drove down, but didn't want to travel all dressed up, so he told me I could change at his parents' house on the way. We get to his parents, I head into the basement (still in jeans and a ratty sweater), only to find about 30 of his mom's friends all there to surprise me with a wedding shower. There is a picture of me on the stairs with my hand to my throat, looking like I'm going to yark all over the person just under the banister. Good times... His mom's friends are awesome, and more than a few are wickedly funny, but this was my first time meeting them, and you really have to be prepared to throw yourself into a group of funny, sarcastic, outspoken, pull no punches, partying Armenian broads. They will take you down! 😂

Man, I hope you *also* got to see Les Mis after all that!

[AnywhereButHere]

I think me almost vomiting on his aunt drove the point "oh shit - I screwed up" home. It took a couple of years, but I did get my trip to see Les Mis. I also made him show me the physical tickets before I got in the car. 😄

[Alysabeth]

I’m in the UK and thankfully wedding showers aren’t a thing here! When I was pregnant I was adamant I would not have a baby shower, I just hate being the centre of attention. My best friend did surprise my by taking me out to lunch and two of my oldest friends travelled two hours (I know that’s not far in the US but in the UK is considered a fairly long journey 😅) to join us. They brought me some gifts and it was all unexpected but low key and lovely. That’s my limit for any type of ‘shower’ though! 

[shesinsane]

On 1/19/2022 at 2:55 PM, JMO said:

Totally agree on spitting in public.  NASTY! 🤢

Nasty and a potential biohazard since we're living in the age of COVID. I used to give men (women are capable of spitting on the sidewalk but I've yet to see it happen) dirty looks when they spit in public, now the dirty look is accompanied by a quietly murmured "terrorist".

[CanadianMamam]

I was thinking about which member of the Bates family I think will be at Jer and Hannah's wedding. 

Defintiely Nathan. Probably Lawson and Trace and some of the other unmarried boys. Possibly Alyssa, since she and Hannah took pictures together at Katie's wedding and I know Hannah was holding one of Alyssa's kids and they both reference a friendship. Katie and Travis, because Jer and Hannah were at their wedding. 

My guess is none of the other girls as they all have small children (excpet Michal and I don't have an impression of her enough to know if I think she would go) and I am not sure there are any particular friendships. Not enough to travel all that way with small kids. I only think Alyssa because she and Hannah made a point of mentioning their friendship. 

No idea about Gil and Kelly, although Carlin will likely be delivering right around then, so maybe not. 

Edited February 25, 2022 by CanadianMamam