Maxwell 50: Maxhell Has Frozen Over. Anna and Mary Are Off to College and Sarah Moves Out!

[browngrl]

I'm coming to realize that I don't know the Maxwell's at all - except for this - they don't tell the whole story and what they do say may not be what they do. Fine. They don't owe me any explanations but perhaps an FJ'er can explain: what exactly does Steve mean when he says Sarah "wants to experience...ministry in that environment" . 

I remember when I bought my first house. My time was spent choosing decor, exploring the neighbourhood, fixing things up etc but there was no ministry unless you call having friends over ministry. What does Steve mean?

[ClareDeLune]

It reminds me of when they said Jesse and Anna wanted to experience living in an apartment.  I guess they are just struggling for words to make a complete 180 degree turn from their values sound perfectly 'nothing to see here' normal.

[Maggie Mae]

51 minutes ago, browngrl said:

They don't owe me any explanations but perhaps an FJ'er can explain: what exactly does Steve mean when he says Sarah "wants to experience...ministry in that environment."

Sarah is, presumably from context, still working with a ministry? I don't know what ministry really means, but I think she's still involved with various churchy things and doing outreach and whatever. Perhaps Steve just lacks the vocabulary to say "Sarah wanted to have the opportunity to minister on her own, without our guidance?" 

I don't know. It's just a guess. 

[fundiefan]

54 minutes ago, browngrl said:

I'm coming to realize that I don't know the Maxwell's at all - except for this - they don't tell the whole story and what they do say may not be what they do. Fine. They don't owe me any explanations but perhaps an FJ'er can explain: what exactly does Steve mean when he says Sarah "wants to experience...ministry in that environment" . 

I remember when I bought my first house. My time was spent choosing decor, exploring the neighbourhood, fixing things up etc but there was no ministry unless you call having friends over ministry. What does Steve mean?

It means she wanted to move out & live on her own and Steve is trying to make it all godly & shit. 

I'm not being sarcastic. He god-ifies things like that a lot. It's pretty standard when he doesn't want to tell the truth, which is usually...he/she/they wanted to. 

 

 

[fundiewatch]

I agree it’s much like when Jesse and Anna “wanted to try apartment living.” A more honest read is likely that Anna said she’s not moving to Leavenworth and/or Jesse and Joe had been talking on the down low about NOT becoming the next Nathan/Chris with the monotony and lack of privacy living there entailed. After a year in the apartment they bought a house a healthy drive from Leavenworth. 

[Maggie Mae]

I have to wonder if any of these people have some crazy reactions to their freedom, and what that looks like. One of my favorite parts of being a grown up with my own house is that sometimes I can walk around in my underwear. Dancing was never prohibited, but what if they put on some music to clean to and a little dancing happens to happen? Is it just a slippery slope to a stripper pole and hell? Can you even imagine what it must feel like to move out and realize that you can risky business up the whole place! You can watch Risky Business and find out that it's not actually that good of a movie! You can eat on the couch and sleep through bible time! (What if Steve is running 5 am bible time on zoom?) 

[Bethy]

1 hour ago, browngrl said:

I'm coming to realize that I don't know the Maxwell's at all - except for this - they don't tell the whole story and what they do say may not be what they do. Fine. They don't owe me any explanations but perhaps an FJ'er can explain: what exactly does Steve mean when he says Sarah "wants to experience...ministry in that environment" . 

I remember when I bought my first house. My time was spent choosing decor, exploring the neighbourhood, fixing things up etc but there was no ministry unless you call having friends over ministry. What does Steve mean?

I wonder if she got involved with a Bible study/small group that met in homes on a rotating basis and the fact that it's super weird for a 39-year-old, able-bodied, able-minded woman with [presumed] decent financial means to be living in her parents' house, with no agency to move out if she so chooses, became more than they could ignore? Or if people they were trying to invite to this group were weirded out by having to go to Sarah's parents' house when it was her turn to host?

[danvillebelle]

2 minutes ago, Bethy said:

I wonder if she got involved with a Bible study/small group that met in homes on a rotating basis and the fact that it's super weird for a 39-year-old, able-bodied, able-minded woman with [presumed] decent financial means to be living in her parents' house, with no agency to move out if she so chooses, became more than they could ignore? Or if people they were trying to invite to this group were weirded out by having to go to Sarah's parents' house when it was her turn to host?

I think some version of this is it.  The more they got involved at this church, the more Sarah, Anna and Mary realized how truly bizarro planet their life was compared to other Christian women their age, and they decided they'd had enough.

[Bethy]

Just now, danvillebelle said:

I think some version of this is it.  The more they got involved at this church, the more Sarah, Anna and Mary realized how truly bizarro planet their life was compared to other Christian women their age, and they decided they'd had enough.

And maybe started to see that the things they feared so much weren't so awful. They probably thought if they lived on their own without their daddy's protection they'd turn into Satan worshippers on the spot, but got invited to the homes of other young single women who had cute apartments with tiny pumpkins, latte foam art, and fuzzy comfy socks with nary a hint of demonic involvement.

[fundiewatch]

There was a very kind and welcoming looking woman from their church who has been around several times, including on Christmas or another major holiday. And we saw pictures of Sarah at a women’s group I believe. I hope that the girls saw examples and realized that living at home is not a salvation issue. 

[LilMissMetaphor]

Someone link the damn FBs already! 😄

[JermajestyDuggar]

What’s the name of their church? I want to look at their website. 

[SPHASH]

I hope Sarah, Anna, and Mary will find FJ someday and become members so they can give us the lowdown on Maxhell.  Same with the guys.

[ElizaB]

20 minutes ago, SPHASH said:

I hope Sarah, Anna, and Mary will find FJ someday and become members so they can give us the lowdown on Maxhell.  Same with the guys.

With so many offspring (children and grandchildren) you would think at least one has to eventually rebel...right?

[DonutWench]

50 minutes ago, LilMissMetaphor said:

Someone link the damn FBs already! 😄

Here is Anna's (public) FB profile: https://www.facebook.com/Annamax49

And Mary's: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100072123682849

Not much to see (they look like new one's they just created for school), but they both look happy. 

43 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

What’s the name of their church? I want to look at their website. 

I'm pretty sure it's "Church of the Open Door."

[hoipolloi]

1 hour ago, Bethy said:

[They] got invited to the homes of other young single women who had cute apartments with tiny pumpkins, latte foam art, and fuzzy comfy socks with nary a hint of demonic involvement.

You forgot the wall decor with Bible & inspirational quotes in bridesmaid font: 

[usedbicycle]

52 minutes ago, SPHASH said:

I hope Sarah, Anna, and Mary will find FJ someday and become members so they can give us the lowdown on Maxhell.  Same with the guys.

I wonder if Sarah has ever read here. She has the excuse of the Moody books to spend a lot of alone time on her computer... and who has never googled themselves? 

I also wonder if the younger sisters suffered from a kind of "caregiver burnout". Caring for Christopher's 5 kids for a year was surely intense, in addition to caring for Steve during the time of his heart failure, plus Nathan's kids on regular evenings, weekends and daytime playdates. They also taught kids at Bible school, served their brothers' businesses, and probably helped out around Maddie's birth. I have a feeling these girls were completely served-out, if that makes sense. The blog post mentions that their pastor suggested they go to college. Bless this man for sensing that their talents were being wasted on being caregivers for their immediate family, who are all functional adults and should be able to survive without them. Part of me think a brother or two also had an influence on this decision... perhaps Jesse, since he witnessed them giving up everything for so long. 

And lastly, I wonder if this idea of finally putting your own needs first resonated in Sarah's heart as well. In a sense, she was closer to an exit than her sisters. She had already set up boundaries in terms of childcare, and did something for herself by purchasing a dog. 

Steve is grasping at straws to explain their departures as just another act of service (the girls are attending college to be "better equipped for ministry" and Sarah is experiencing ministry in a new setting). Whatever Steve. They are putting their needs first and this is a huge, huge step forward for the females of Maxhell.

Edited September 13, 2021 by usedbicycle

[JermajestyDuggar]

I went looking at the church website and I am glad to see they have AWANAS each week and a sort of youth group as well. I’m glad their are activities for the grandkids. They need to interact with other kids their age. 

[Katzchen24]

13 minutes ago, usedbicycle said:

Steve is grasping at straws to explain their departures as just another act of service (the girls are attending college to be "better equipped for ministry" and Sarah is experiencing ministry in a new setting). Whatever Steve. They are putting their needs first and this is a huge, huge step forward for the females of Maxhell.

Finally investing in the future of the Maxgirls.........

[fundiefan]

I do have to wonder what the Christopher & Nathan Maxwells are doing these days? How are they managing their broods of six young children without their sisters to help them & their wives? Both Melanie & Anna have had "the girls' around since the first one came along. Neither has ever parented without that safety net. Same with Chelsy, although she doesn't seem to have been as reliant on "the girls" as Melanie & Anna. 

I'm not saying they're incapable or anything.  I do, however, seriously think they are having an adjustment period they aren't sure what to do with. Not only are "the girls" off to college, Sarah isn't right next door either. Although she wasn't the go-to, she was always "there". Now, she's not. None of them are. 

I wonder how they all feel now - basically living on a compound, but there is no longer anyone there to serve them as they need/ask. Abbie & Christina are 11 & 13 though; old enough to help out if needed. I hope they do not become the next generation's "the girls" and exist to serve everyone else on a command. 

 

[ElizaB]

I don't think they have read here- remember their internet usage is monitored by Teri. So even if they are alone on the computer- everything they do is being watched and recorded. Perhaps this is different now that they are gone. 

I hope that if the do read here they know that we are rooting for them. Hopefully, their feelings don't get hurt by anything that has been said and that they know our snark has always been rooted in genuine concern for them. We wish them the option to live whatever life they want even if that is different than the life their father wants for them. 

We also welcome them here with open arms if they ever want to have a discussion in a respectful manner. 

[treemom]

17 hours ago, HeadshipRegent said:

I’m truly so happy for them. 🥳

Personal rambling under spoiler 

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I’m almost 24 and wanting to get back to college (been doing my second option online but want to go in person for the major I actually want), I feel so old and awful about not having a degree yet.

This is weirdly inspiring… I’ll give myself until 26 before giving up for good lol 

 

FYI.  One of the many things I’m doing this year is getting things arranged to go back to school in the spring.  I am almost 44. You are are never too old.

[zandria]

Anna and Mary's Facebooks are relatively new -- started within the last few weeks, in late August. One of Anna's first posts is of the plane taking her away from the Fathership.  And all of a sudden Sarah is more active on linkedin.  This may be a fundie flip of the bird to Steve.  He's not setting the rules for them any longer, and they're letting him know it.

I also noticed the last blog post with Sarah's name as author was in early August. All these changes happened in August -- WTH happened in Maxhell in August??

[Coconut Flan]

I think it's what happened in May, June, or July.  All of these changes took a bit of time to set up.  

[Captain Obvious]

4 hours ago, browngrl said:

I'm coming to realize that I don't know the Maxwell's at all - except for this - they don't tell the whole story and what they do say may not be what they do. Fine. They don't owe me any explanations but perhaps an FJ'er can explain: what exactly does Steve mean when he says Sarah "wants to experience...ministry in that environment" . 

I remember when I bought my first house. My time was spent choosing decor, exploring the neighbourhood, fixing things up etc but there was no ministry unless you call having friends over ministry. What does Steve mean?

I think they've always thought that everything they did was ministry. As in, before they moved out, Anna and Mary were ministering every time they cleaned the ceiling fans.

I'm not even joking. He sees everything about their lifestyle as being approved (by him) as being God-honouring and worth promoting to other Christians as an example of how they should live. Therefore the blog was also a ministry activity even when it was extremely mundane, because it was demonstrating to the world the family's commitment to each other, raising children, hard work, being debt-free, scheduling, having pure courtships etc etc. That also explains why only certain things were reported on it (although some stuff was left out to avoid snarkers from interacting with the family or "ruining" any more courtships). 

The Maxwells have never really promoted the whole Being a Single Daughter Is Also God Honouring, And You Shouldn't Pin Your Entire Hopes on Getting Married ideology that other single fundie women (*cough* Alison Bontrager and entire Girl Defined ministry *cough*) promote, but I would assume that that is also their belief. So Sarah could also be "ministering" just by doing churchy things and helping her brothers earn money to raise their children (debt-free). 

Edited September 14, 2021 by Captain Obvious