Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 34

[GreyhoundFan]

[ADoyle90815]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

 

"Partisan Bwa-Ha"

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Democrats in the Texas legislature have fled the state. No, not because Texas sucks. I mean, yeah…it does suck but that’s not why they left. They left because a quorum is required by Texas law for the legislature to pass anything.

First off, what is a quorum? A quorum is a minimum number required for proceedings to progress. As soon as Republicans looked up the definition, they were all like, “How dare those Democrats!!!”

What Republicans are trying to pass is the same horse shit voter suppression laws Republicans passed in Georgia and that have been proposed in 42 other states in our nation. These laws are based on the lie there was massive voter fraud but they’re really a response to voter turnout and the fact fewer and fewer Americans are voting for Republicans. It’s easier to just change the laws than appeal to voters.

What Democrats are doing is trying to save voting rights.

When you listen to Republicans, they pretend like they’re trying to save voting rights and they love to toss around the term “voting integrity,” which is bizarre as fuck coming from fuckers with zero integrity. For example, lying and being dishonest about the racist shit you’re up to is not the kind of a thing one does if he or you have integrity. If Republicans truly believed they were doing the right thing, they’d stop FUCKING LYING about what they’re trying to do.

Last night, during the Major League Baseball All-Star Game, the Republican National Committee aired an ad on several different networks that was more annoying and aggravating than having to listen to Joe Buck call the All-Star Game.

During the game, some players were wearing an ear pierce and microphone so Joe Buck could interview them…while they were playing. It was like that time Celine Dion gave a concert and her husband who’s like 80 years older than her made her wear an ear piece so he could talk to her while she was singing. I bet at that time, she was wishing she had been on the Titanic.

The All-Star Game was scheduled for Georgia but MLB pulled and relocated it to Denver in response to Georgia’s racist voter suppression laws. Last night, the Republicans aired an ad of a former state legislature, who happens to be a black guy, blaming Democrats for the state losing the game, the income it would have generated, and that black people love and have boners for voter ID laws.

Let me remind Republicans that the black friend strategy only works on you guys. You always argue a person can’t be racist if that person has a black friend. History proves you can have a black friend and still be a racist. Strom Thurmond is one of the biggest racists in history yet, he loved having sex with black women. Adolph Hitler, who most people accept was a bigot and a racist and a huge promoter that Aryans are the “master race,” literally had a pact with Japan. In case you have to be told, Japanese people are NOT Aryans. Look it up.

Having a black friend doesn’t justify your racist bullshit.

In this stupid ad, the black friend only mentions voter ID when talking about the voter suppression laws. Hmmm. That’s odd. Why are so many people, Democrats, corporations, Major League Baseball, civil rights activists, and women, who if Strom Thurmond were still alive, would want to sleep with, upset over laws that are only about voter ID? Oh, yeah. That’s right. They’re NOT just about voter IDs. That’s just the only part Republicans like to mention.

What they leave out is they’re making it harder to vote. That while requiring IDs to vote, they’re closing DMVs in rural (black) counties where people can acquire acceptable IDs. They’re leaving out they’re making it harder to get IDs. They’re leaving out they are opposed to a national voter ID system. They’re leaving out that they’re for IDs while they’re against black people actually getting IDs.

That’s not the only shit they’re leaving out. They’re leaving out that they’re limiting the number of days to vote early. They’re limiting the number of drop boxes. They’re limiting the hours you can drop your ballot into a drop box. They’re removing all drop boxes on Sundays so black churches can’t use that time to bus people to drop off ballots.

While Republicans don’t want to “federalize” elections, they’re making it legal for Republican-controlled legislatures to overrule local election boards. They’re making it illegal to mail out mail-in ballot applications unless a voter requests one. By shutting down early voting, they’re working to make lines and the wait longer in urban (black) voting precincts. And then, they’re making it illegal to hand water to voters in those long lines Republicans have forced them into.

So, why didn’t your black friend in the MLB ad mention any of that shit? Here’s the thing, kids: If you have to lie to sell your evil bullshit, that means your bullshit is evil. It means you’re on the wrong side and you’re doing some hateful fucked-up shit.

It’s like you borrow a friend’s car and praise yourself to him that you refilled his gas tank…while leaving out there’s a dead transvestite hooker in the trunk.

The Democrats in Texas are trying to stop their state’s Republicans from leaving dead transvestite hookers in your car trunks…I mean, stop them from creating voter suppression laws. So, Texas Democrats fled to Washington, D.C. Republicans are lying about that too. They claim taxpayers are paying for it…but they’re not.

Now, Governor Abbott is threatening to arrest those Democrats because they are obstructing the Republicans’ efforts to pass racist bullshit voter suppression laws. I think that’s a great idea. No, really. Let’s arrest people who obstruct legislation.

Let’s arrest Mitch McConnell for his promise to obstruct President Barack Obama’s efforts to govern. McConnell said, during Obama’s first term, that his sole job was to make Obama a one-term president. Let’s arrest Mitch McConnell for blocking hearings and votes for Obama’s nominees to federal courts…including one to the Supreme Court. That bullshit was pretty obstructive. We can also arrest Moscow Mitch for stealing one from President Biden and for his promise to obstruct him.

We can also rack up a few charges on Mitch for using the filibuster. Hey, let’s arrest every Republican senator for that. While we’re at it, let’s arrest every Republican who voted against certifying the election. That was obstructive. Let’s arrest every Republican who voted against investigating the MAGA white nationalist terrorist attack on the Capitol. Let’s arrest every Republican who aided and abetted that white nationalist terrorist attack.

Let’s arrest Chip Roy. Since he is a Texas Congressman, Governor Abbott can put out an all-points bulletin for his arrest because Chippers said, “Eighteen more months of chaos and the inability to get things done. That’s what we want,” in regards to President Biden and the Democratic majority to pass legislation. He’s hoping they can win both chambers in 2022…so obstruct until then.

Finally, since Republicans are horny for arresting people fleeing Texas during a time of crisis…arrest Ted Cruz who fled to Cancun while his constituents were freezing their Texan balls off…and then blamed it all on his daughters. Here’s a fun fact: The United States has an extradition treaty with Mexico. That means, Mexican police can arrest Ted while he’s Cancun and deport his stupid sniveling deceitful cowardice ass back to the United States. And while he’s incarcerated, authorities can check just to make sure he’s not really the Zodiac Killer.

Also, Mexico…when you deport Ted Cruz back to his home nation, make sure it’s not Canada. They’re pissed enough at us.

If these arrests go down, I hope someone lets me know because I don’t want to miss my opportunity to let out a good, “Bwa-Ha-Ha-Ha".

 

[GreyhoundFan]

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[47of74]

I found the perfect response to reich wingers who post tough guy images of Assolini. 

Spoiler

 

1 hour ago, GreyhoundFan said:

Along with statutes of Betty White. Both as Rose and Helen Bickerman. 

[GreyhoundFan]

[ADoyle90815]

[fraurosena]

[GreyhoundFan]

 

"Trump's Reichstag Moment"

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General Mark Milley, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, was not the only person who believed Donald Trump would make a coup attempt. He’s also not the only person who believed Donald Trump and his supporters were acting like Nazis. People always say you shouldn’t compare anything to Nazis, but in this case, we’re comparing Nazis to Nazis.

First, let me extend a greeting to General Milley: Welcome to Antifa. We’re glad to have you.

Tonight, expect Tucker Carlson to attack General Milley…again. He’s going to attack General Milley for being worried that between the election, which Donald Trump lost, and the inauguration, Trump would attempt a coup. Tucker and other wingnuts will condemn Milley as though he has committed treason for recognizing Donald Trump’s inclination for treason. Most of all, expect Tucker and other Republicans to call the concern of Trump attempting a coup “fake news.” But the thing is, it actually happened.

General Milley, and so many more of us, were right to suspect Trump would commit a coup attempt…because Donald Trump committed a coup attempt. Also, it was pretty much a Russian coup that put him in power in 2016. So yeah, coup coup ka-choo, baby.

I recall before the 2016 election, hearing Republican fucknuts claim that President Obama would refuse to cease power or allow a peaceful transition and that he would become a dictator. I thought they were crazy. Then after Trump was elected…I thought the same thing about him. The different between me and those crazy guys is that I was right.

A book will be published next week detailing Milley’s concerns along with a lot of other juicy nuggets, like Liz Cheney slapping Jim Jordan’s hand away during the Capitol insurrection and telling him, “You fucking did this.” Republicans and generals say “fuck” a lot. The book also reports that Trump called German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, a “bitch,” and that he was raised by the “biggest kraut.”

The book is authored by Washington Post reporters Carol Leonnig and Philip Rucker and titled, “I Alone Can Fix This,” taken from Trump’s statement in his 2016 nomination acceptance speech and the kind of thing a fascist dictator wannabe would say. According to the book, Milley told aides the US was facing a “Reichstag moment” because Donald Trump was preaching “the gospel of the Führer.”

According to the book, after Trump lost the election, an old friend of Milley’s warned him Trump would attempt to “overturn the government” in a desperate bid to cling to power…unconstitutionally. Milley replied, “They may try, but they’re not going to fucking succeed. You can’t do this without the military. You can’t do this without the CIA and the FBI. We’re the guys with guns.”

The part about guns is going to make Trump supporters freak out and go out and buy more guns while issuing tough talk about how they’re ready to fight the government that stole the election and that will now come to their doors to inject them with coronavirus vaccine while taking away their guns and Bibles. Trump supporters claim they need guns to protect themselves from the government when what they want to do is use guns to attack the government.

Milley also referred to Trump’s supporters as Brownshirts, which is a perfect way to describe Trumpian Brownshirts. Milley believed long before the insurrection, like many of us, that “Trump was stoking unrest, possibly in hopes of an excuse to invoke the Insurrection Act and call out the military.” There are reports Trump attempted to do this June 1, 2020, the day he had the military use tear gas to clear Black Lives Matter protesters from Lafayette Square so he could conduct a photo-op outside St. John’s Church with an upside-down Bible.

The “Reichstag moment” is in reference to a fire in the German parliament, which the Nazis used to consolidate their authoritarian rule in 1933. It’s widely believed the culprits who set the fire were the Nazis. Setting fires to get credit for putting them out was a Trump tactic. It’s easy to believe he’d set a fire to consolidate his power and become a America’s first fuhrer.

When Trump’s white nationalist terrorists attacked the Capitol on January 6, General Milley referred to them as Nazis and said they were Boogaloo Boys and Proud Boys. He’s right. He told aides, “These are the same people we fought in the second world war.”

Milley was concerned personnel moves that put Trump goons in positions of power at the Pentagon after the November 2020 election, including the firing of Defense Secretary Mark Esper and the resignation of Attorney General William Barr, were the sign of something sinister to come. And why wouldn’t he believe that when the entire four years of the Trump presidency (sic) were sinister.

Before the coup attempt, Milley told aides, “We’re going to put a ring of steel around this city and the Nazis aren’t getting in.” Except the Nazis got in. The Nazis entered Washington in January, 2017, and while a lot of them are in the Fuhrer Bunker known as Mar-a-Lago, a lot more are still in Washington.

Milley was relieved they got Trump out of town without a successful coup, and our new president inaugurated and that “we landed the ship safely,” but we haven’t cleared our nations of Nazis. Also, you don’t land ships. You land planes. You dock ships. General Milley is not an admiral or in the Air Force.

Every week, we get reports of white nationalist terror groups planning another insurrection attempt. The head Nazi himself has endorsed the pillow Nazi’s belief that Trump will return to power in August. There are still a bunch of Nazis, many at a convention in Dallas last week, who believe Trump won the election and will return to power without an election. There are still Trump Brownshirts in Congress protecting Nazis and refusing an investigation into Nazis.

And tonight on Fox News, there will be a Nazi and Brownshirt boy telling us the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs is committing treason for calling out Nazis.

 

[Howl]

So, Toby Morrow set up a Lauren Boebert parody account (TheLaurenBoebert.com), and Boebert had her press secretary send a cease and desist order  to the website ), having zero concept of how free speech works.  Boebert Sends Cease and Desist to THIS Website.

The press secretary, Jake Settles, made various lawyer-ly,  legalese-y and cease and desist-y statements which boil down to "I demand you cease and desist this website right this very second!" but he's not a lawyer and has no legal background. 

I also came across the arrest records for Lauren Boebert and her husband. Neither are slackers in the scofflaw department and there were many more arrests and citations than I was aware of. 

Another parody site is FindMagaLove.com -- a "dating service agency." 

I can totally recommend FindMagaLove.com.  Scroll down to   Follow Tammy's Journey, Parts 1 & 2.  Spoiler, Tammy is actually the brilliant comedian Blaire Erskine and she does not disappoint. 

 

Edited July 16, 2021 by Howl

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

 

I bet the MAGAts will eat them up.

[47of74]

2 hours ago, Howl said:

So, Toby Morrow set up a Lauren Boebert parody account (TheLaurenBoebert.com), and Boebert had her press secretary send a cease and desist order  to the website ), having zero concept of how free speech works.  Boebert Sends Cease and Desist to THIS Website.

The press secretary, Jake Settles, made various lawyer-ly,  legalese-y and cease and desist-y statements which boil down to "I demand you cease and desist this website right this very second!" but he's not a lawyer and has no legal background. 

I also came across the arrest records for Lauren Boebert and her husband. Neither are slackers in the scofflaw department and there were many more arrests and citations than I was aware of. 

Another parody site is FindMagaLove.com -- a "dating service agency." 

I can totally recommend FindMagaLove.com.  Scroll down to   Follow Tammy's Journey, Parts 1 & 2.  Spoiler, Tammy is actually the brilliant comedian Blaire Erskine and she does not disappoint. 

 

Don't forget GymJordan2020.com!

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