Jump to content
  • Sky
  • Blueberry
  • Slate
  • Blackcurrant
  • Watermelon
  • Strawberry
  • Orange
  • Banana
  • Apple
  • Emerald
  • Chocolate
  • Charcoal
samurai_sarah

Bro Gary Hawkins 14: Ween, glorious WEEN!

Recommended Posts

Black Aliss
2 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

What does Becky have besides being overweight? If they're treating that as an exclusion for ICU beds then that is going to affect a lot of people, not least Gary.

I believe it's been mentioned that she has heart problems and COPD. It's been mentioned (not sure if I overheard this on the ISB or what) that she receives disability payments. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Four is Enough
2 hours ago, FiveAcres said:

The first time I put a mask on (several months ago, seems like several years) I struggled to breath. And my executive function said "You know, you are hyperventilating. Yoga breathing might help. Besides, medical staff wear them for hours and hours without any problem." 

Having the face covered is a problem for many people. It makes quite a few of my friends anxious.. and they, like you, had to learn to cope. I applaud you doing that work. Wearing a mask is important, and i'm glad you're able to make yourself more comfortable while doing so.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
FiveAcres
Posted (edited)
11 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

Having the face covered is a problem for many people. It makes quite a few of my friends anxious.. and they, like you, had to learn to cope. I applaud you doing that work. Wearing a mask is important, and i'm glad you're able to make yourself more comfortable while doing so.

It also helps me to know that despite my age and living at 7000 ft, my normal blood oxygen runs about 98%. I have an pulse oximeter  from when my mother was alive and me and my partner did some baseline readings when the news of the pandemic first hit. He is not quite that high but well within nominal.

Edited by FiveAcres
typo

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thoughtful

Gary did another live on a drive this morning, on his way through Pennsylvania, tapping, tooth sucking, looking at the phone instead of the road, and asking for prayers that they make it through New York.

Gary's sad because (in a spoiler in case anyone wants to guess - I'll give you a hint; it has something to do with today being Wednesday):

Spoiler

he can't find a place to go to church tonight. He says "Ever'where ah've called, talked to, they either don't want me there because ah'm from out of state raht now, I need two weeks of korintine (pause for pissy face), or they're not havin' church yet, so, but uh, that's all raht, we'll uh, we'll just sit around 'n' have some bahble study amen?"

He likes being on the road because, in the truck and in mission quarters, there's no TV, so he doesn't have to hear what "the media" says. I guess TVs just turn themselves on wherever Gary is (I know, sometimes they are on in public places or other people's homes, but that's just another reason to make a living and have your own home, Gary).

Of course, he and Becky go out of their way to look up obscure conspiracy theories from idiots, which they seem to consider superior to the mainstream news.

Jesus told his mother "Don't you know that I must bees about mah Father's biznissss."

You heard it here first, folks - God is a beekeeper! If you've ever felt like you are living in a hive, now you know why - Earth is just one big apiary.

Always have a pocket full of gospel tracts, and "your Bahble on your hand." I guess Gary expects us to carry the Bible like waitstaff with a tray. It's a bit hard to read it that way, Gary.

"First tahm the other day in North Ca'olina, sorta surprisin', but it was the first tahm ah had somebody reject a Gospel tract."

The first time in his whole life? Man, people can be polite. But, if there was ever a time when even the most polite person would not want to take an object from a maskless,  saliva-spraying, nose-rubbing guy, this it is.

I'm sure you will not be surprised to learn that Gary leaves tracts in bathrooms. "Ah pray, Lord, when ah'm leavin', ah'm leavin' a bathroom, Lord, whoever gits a holt o' this gospel track, ah pray that the Holy Ghost o' God'll git a holt to 'em, convict their heart. Show 'em that they needju."

I wonder if he says all of that out loud (does Gary even know that silent prayer is possible?) - even better, in bellowing preacher voice. Can you imagine being a guy coming in to a public bathroom, or already standing at a urinal or sitting in a stall, and hearing that?

Gary, please tell me that you kneel when you say this prayer. That would complete the picture.

He promises to let us know when he gets to New York. Can't wait, Gar.

  • Upvote 6
  • Haha 4
  • Thank You 14

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Caroline

Because I have too much time on my hands and can't figure out how Bro Gary is visiting churches in Maine, I did a little research.  Churches were allowed to open with a lot of restrictions on May 31, but many haven't. Where I am in Maine most are not having services in person yet.  So I looked at Gary's itinerary and he's going to a church in a HOUSE many hours north of me.  The pastor of the church is from a southern state and felt 'called' to preach, but why he chose Maine is a mystery.  There was a newspaper article in the region where the church is that had an article about the new pastor when the 'church' opened a few years  ago.   According to the article there were between 6 and 22 congregants.  No wonder he is going there, because I'm sure they are not following any guidelines either, just like Gary.   It bugs me that people like Gary who don't believe any of this is real are coming from hot zones to a state that has done a good job containing this thing so far.  He's a jerk.

  • Upvote 12
  • I Agree 2
  • Thank You 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thoughtful

Gary has been referring to his Maine visit as a "revival," and I think the plan is to put up his precious tent. So, in case they get more than a handful of idiots, er- congregants - they are ready

In any case, I'm sure Gary thinks church in a house is normal - his daddy's church is in a house.

Another live while they drive  - they're a few miles into New York, and Gary says the gas prices are good. "jus' thank God ah ain't broke, amen."

He's thankful for your prayerssss, and he's staying on back roads. Becky read something that says that they can pull you over "if you're actin' stupid or somethin'," "then they can ask you about all the hot spots."

I'm not sure what he was picturing - barriers across roads leading into New York, with armed guards stopping every car, maybe?

They'll be "clahmin' hills 'n' hollers" on their drive. Picturesque, Gary, but I think you only climb the hills, then go down into the hollers. Stop trying to be a good ol' country boy, Gary - you don't qualify.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
AmazonGrace

Why is it that the most selfish morons always think that they're the most righteous and always right?

2 hours ago, thoughtful said:

They'll be "clahmin' hills 'n' hollers" on their drive. Picturesque, Gary, but I think you only climb the hills, then go down into the hollers. Stop trying to be a good ol' country boy, Gary - you don't qualify.

 

It's like the old times when people skied to school all year around and it was uphill both ways.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
smittykins
4 hours ago, thoughtful said:

He promises to let us know when he gets to New York. Can't wait, Gar.

I hope he stays away from my area!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ozlsn
9 hours ago, TeddyBonkers said:

Can I call him Typhoid Gary? I think it's apropos. 

Looking at his proposed route, yes.

Just curious - are the state borders not locked down? I've lost track of what's happening where in the US, but I thought NY at least was (unless that was just the city, which is possible). 

Let's see - he left Alabama about five days ago, so if he's infected and infectious he'll probably be spreading now and also be starting to be symptomatic. For the sake of everyone he encounters on the road I sincerely hope he isn't.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
MayMay1123

Pennsylvania just went to mandatory masks in public, i hope  our guy Gary has passed through quickly. I wonder what route he took, PA is hella long

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thoughtful

image.png.9caa773dba78192cdb44823aaedd6f5e.png

In the middle of a trip, and way inland, Gary felt the need to tell us this. Did you see a guy with no shirt on, or a woman in shorts, Gary?

I prefer this sentiment:

Truly caring people who don't want to harm others wear a mask during a pandemic, and stay in one place until it ends.

 

1 hour ago, MayMay1123 said:

I wonder what route he took, PA is hella long

He said he was on 81 at one point, so he may have taken it for much of the trip, going mostly straight north, and planning to go east later in the drive.

He has connections in Groton, NY, so he may be sleeping there tonight.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Dana723
10 hours ago, thoughtful said:

You heard it here first, folks - God is a beekeeper! If you've ever felt like you are living in a hive, now you know why - Earth is just one big apiary.

😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • Upvote 3
  • I Agree 2
  • Thank You 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
LiaRose
On 6/22/2020 at 7:15 PM, wallysmommy said:

Y'all I just have to circle back to Jethere Fuqua. 

Fuqua isn't a common name.  I have some in my family tree.

Charles Pierre Fouquier or Fuqua, 1780 - 1855

Charles Stephen Pierre, 1809 - 1850 (father of the below-mentioned Stephen Charles)

Ursule (Lucy) Fuqua Recouley, 1812 - 1902 (her daughter is named Lavinia Recouley)

Stephen Charles Fuqua, 1843 - 1938 (confederate piece of shit)

Louella Fuqua, 1882 - 1941

It changed during Stephen's adult years to Fuqua (FOO-cuh) from Fouquier (foe-KWARE).  Stephen married his cousin, Lavinia.  Stephen and Lavinia had Louella, and Louella is the last Fuqua in my direct line.  Louella's father-in-law wasn't a confederate fuckwad.  He fought for the Union.  Both soldiers survived.  That must have been a fun wedding.

Jethere's Fuqua, starting with his eighth-great-grandfather, William, came over from Marseilles, France between 1667 and 1688, and settled right in Virginia.  My Fuqua line, starting with my fifth-great-grandghather, the aforementioned Charles Pierre, arrived between 1800 and 1810, and made Avoyelles Parish, Louisianna, home.  So, thankfully, despite the uncommon last name, there doesn't seem to be any easily-discernible link.  THANK THE GODS.

(Also, I'm extremely into genealogy.  So...yeah.  Um.  Yeah.  Going to a relative born 353 years ago and not mentioning current state of residence for living people shouldn't count as doxing.  Ya ain't finding Jethere based on his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather.)

I have this dread of one day ending up related to someone like Jethere or Bro Gary Weens or the Pearls or Shraders or someone.

Screen Shot 2020-07-01 at 9.22.11 PM.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thoughtful

Gary was live on a drive this morning.

He spends a few minutes "waitin' for people to sahn on." Why does Gary expect everyone he knows to be watching their phones, eagerly waiting for him to start a Facebook live?

He tells us that they were scrollin' (ooh - he got it right!) on Facebook after arriving at their host's house - sounds like Gary ignores humans in the room with him, including those who are housing and feeding him, in favor of electronics - anyone surprised?

"One of the ladies that had showed a thing where, uh Como or Coomo, whatever his name is, the gov'ner of New York, and it showed the states that they didn't want to come up here because of the hot spot. And she put on there last night, or yesterday some tahm, that um, he hasn't put out the controls yet. And so, that's just what we call God."

If that was unclear, I'm pretty sure Gary is saying that he thinks the reason there weren't any roadblocks up, stopping every car coming into New York, is because God prevented it, just for them.

He rambles about Noah, Joseph and his brothers, and how God's work always gets done, even when evil people and Satan try to prevent it.

"Ya haveta just obey the Lord Jesus Christ, 'n' not worry about, listen, ya either gotta, ya either gotta worry about, listen hey, listen, ah ah'm bein' safely, it's a li'l bit more strict here in New York 'n' what ah'm understandin' bah what ah seen yesterday, even in Maine, far as wearin' a mask 'n' everything, but mah wife goes into Walmart for me, ah don't need to worry 'bout it, uh, so, that's all covered."

Gary's "being safely" just like he gets work done and gets money - other people do everything for him. Oh, and he did actually say "Walmart" without the "s" this time.

Now that's a miracle.

They're staying in Littleton, NH with friends tonight. Gary says he'll be "korintined" when he gets to Maine, and he's "not gonna rahd around, not gonna go 'n' uh - y'know," and will be OK with being quarantined.

Gary, I am not a math whiz, but this one I can do. Tomorrow is July 3rd. Your revival starts on July 5. That is not two weeks. So, I don't know what you mean when you say you will be quarantined. Maybe his hosts in Maine have warned him that he can't run ten maskless errands a day, and he considers that quarantine.

Someone comments "no sound," and Gary plays with the phone for a while, not looking at the road at all, then hands his earphones to Becky to check them. He says he may have to do another video, if there is no sound on this one, but then goes on talking.

"We're jist gonna go on for the Lord Jesus Christ. Ya say whah? He didn't quit own us. He went through a lot of hot water. He was crucified, he was beaten upon, spitten upon, made fun of, mauked, and went on for the Lord Jesus Christ."

He went on for Himself - OK.

 

  • Upvote 1
  • Haha 2
  • Thank You 13

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
AmazonGrace

In that case... some people are tempted by pretty faces and luscious mouths. Wouldn't covering them with a mask be a good thing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Alisamer
22 hours ago, thoughtful said:

He's thankful for your prayerssss, and he's staying on back roads. Becky read something that says that they can pull you over "if you're actin' stupid or somethin'," "then they can ask you about all the hot spots."

 

Stupid like doing a Facebook live while driving? 

  • Upvote 4
  • Haha 7
  • I Agree 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
wallysmommy

I'm kind of worried I'm related to Becky since my dad's family is from the same area she's from (central WV).  My grandmother was born less than 15 miles from where Becky's from (Glenville, WV).  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thoughtful
2 hours ago, wallysmommy said:

I'm kind of worried I'm related to Becky since my dad's family is from the same area she's from (central WV).  My grandmother was born less than 15 miles from where Becky's from (Glenville, WV).  

Well, let's see what traits you and Becky have in common:

Spoiler

image.thumb.png.ed702684d7f0dcd0de5be97f5d402894.png

I don't see much crossover there. Even if you share some distant relatives with Becky, I don't think you have to worry about it.

  • Upvote 11
  • Haha 11
  • Love 10

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
MayMay1123
2 hours ago, wallysmommy said:

I'm kind of worried I'm related to Becky since my dad's family is from the same area she's from (central WV).  My grandmother was born less than 15 miles from where Becky's from (Glenville, WV).  

You got any Taylors in that WV family? GG grandfather moved to WV with a bunch of his children in the mid-1800s

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ozlsn

Side note - I was listening to the most recent "Oh no! Ross and Carrie" podcast, which is listener stories, and one started off with "I was the pasture's son.." and I went "that's not just a Garyism?!" #mindblown.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
wallysmommy

@MayMay1123 Not that I know of.  My cousins were born at Taylor's Drain, however.  No lying, that's the name of the town.  We have Moores, Echols, Harrises, and Mumbergs.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
clese

I do t understand why rebecca is so.oppossed to free national healthcare..because when all these evangelical people get sick they're so quick to get confined me accounts to pay for it..which is just grifting.

I'm not an anerican but does it matter what parties did what a hundred years ago..and who finished black

segregation finally.?

I'm sure both parties are waaaaaayyyy different to what they were years ago and I believe lincoln agreed with the status quo of keeping slaves initially before being persuaded to free them but they should all go.back to Africa.?

Screenshot_20200703-220816_Facebook.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ozlsn
15 minutes ago, clese said:

I do t understand why rebecca is so.oppossed to free national healthcare..because when all these evangelical people get sick they're so quick to get confined me accounts to pay for it..which is just grifting.

I'm not an anerican but does it matter what parties did what a hundred years ago..and who finished black

segregation finally.?

I'm sure both parties are waaaaaayyyy different to what they were years ago and I believe lincoln agreed with the status quo of keeping slaves initially before being persuaded to free them but they should all go.back to Africa.?

Screenshot_20200703-220816_Facebook.jpg

So a quick history lesson for Becky and a question. 

13th amendment passed January 13th 1865.

14th amendment ratified July 9th 1865

15th amendment passed February 26th 1869

Affordable Care Act signed into law March 23rd 2010.

So Becky - what changed in the 131 years between the 15th amendment and the ACA?

We all know that you would have voted Democrat in the 1860s for the same reason you vote Republican now, and that you would have switched alongside Strom Thurmond and his cronies from Democrat to Republican had you been alive in the 1960s.

You and your dumbfuck husband are bigoted, racist, ignorant fools who go around "preaching" to likeminded fools and being a general drain on them. I don't wish coronavirus on you, but equally I hope like hell you get pulled over and fined for being a menace to society and breaching quarantine. I do not regard you as Christians because the God you follow is narrow, mean-spirited and rules by fear. There is no evidence of love, or joy, or compassion, or empathy towards other people. You and Gary contribute nothing to society except adding to the carbon load, and a very minor amount of entertainment value. Get off your damn smartphone and read a damn book. Preferably a well written book about history.

  • Upvote 5
  • I Agree 8
  • Thank You 1
  • Love 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
MayMay1123
13 hours ago, wallysmommy said:

@MayMay1123 Not that I know of.  My cousins were born at Taylor's Drain, however.  No lying, that's the name of the town.  We have Moores, Echols, Harrises, and Mumbergs.  

The man had 19 children, I figure everyone in WV is probably related to me some how 😁 I'll have to look up Taylor's Drain, ty

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thoughtful
6 hours ago, clese said:

I'm not an anerican but does it matter what parties did what a hundred years ago

Of course not, and anyone with common sense who simply wants to make things better for all in the present and in the future knows that. We may look back at history as a matter of general interest, to learn what works and what doesn't, or, as people are doing now with police history, to understand why we may need to make a fresh start with something we thought was modern, but still has lingering problems due to it's underpinnings.

People like Becky and Gary don't think that way - they don't want to learn. They want to cherry-pick history they way they do the Bible. They are only looking for a few words, a fact here and there, that supports their rigid opinions.

It's the "but what about" defense. The answer to "you people are racists now" is "what about the Democrats who started it all," just like the answer to "Donald Trump is incompetent, dishonest and dangerous" was "but Hilary's emails!" in 2016.

They will reach back a year, a decade, a millennium if need be, to find a "your people did bad stuff too, so there!" factoid, and think they won the argument somehow.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now



×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.