Bro Gary Hawkins 14: Ween, glorious WEEN!

[PumaLover 15,455]

9 hours ago, thoughtful said:

It's the Last Days (still?!) and they are the forerunners for Jesus.

Hinting for your next grifted vehicle, Gary?

https://www.caranddriver.com/toyota/4runner

 

Hahahaha I didn't even see this til after I posted. I really DO have a 4 (non)Runner. I had a little sportscar and then we adopted our daughter. Shortly after dropping her off at school, someone pulled out in front of me. I swerved at the last minute but we both would have been badly injured if I had hit them. (I was T-boned 6 years ago and have permanent injuries from that). I immediately traded that car in for a large, reliable SUV. 

My first car was green and I named it the PumaLover. After it died I had a few other cars but when I got the 4 Runner, because it was green it became the Puma II. So there is the origin of my username. If I would register for FJ nowadays my username would probably be along the lines of ChickenHoarder or something like that.

I've been having a lot of dreams about fundies. I don't know if that's because I'm on here late at night or just because I think about them all the time. I'm writing a book about a girl who escapes from a cult. A lot of the fundies I'm reading about give me ideas for future books. Each idea I have is just sadder than the last.

It's also weird that most of the people I interact with day to day (with the exception of Mr. Puma) aren't even aware of this whole culture of fundamentalism and patriarchy. And I can't talk about it to anyone I really know.

Spoiler

Puma II. Please pray. Need funds. Be blessing. IT BIBLE.

 

[Ozlsn 40,556]

11 hours ago, thoughtful said:

God makes sure Gary gets enough to eat.

And then some.

11 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary goes into full preacher-orgasm mode, and the congregation is right with him.

I am laughing and feel slightly grubby doing so. 

12 hours ago, thoughtful said:

We get some very loud bellowing about alkeehol and Jesus being alive and not having any issues, his Daddy's Sunday school,

I know it's a combination of Garyism and reporting but my mental image is Christ getting emotional at an AA meeting, followed by God running a Sunday school class. Which sounds possible for a Bro Gary sermon.

12 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary bellows about Jesus being in Heaven, ready to jump out of his seat to come blow the horn.

Gary's Jesus is very much in his own image - former drug and alcohol issues, much shouting and apparently waiting for Armageddon like it's a touch down.  

[thoughtful 96,285]

7 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

19 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary goes into full preacher-orgasm mode, and the congregation is right with him.

I am laughing and feel slightly grubby doing so. 

I keep searching for a better way to describe it, but it really is the deli scene in When Harry Met Sally. He builds up, explodes, and comes back down, and they go right along. Church is their rock concert, horror movie, roller coaster, and sporting event.

And who knows - for some of them, it may, in fact, be replacing good sex.

Gary was live in the truck today, running errands and singing the praises of Trump. But Trump isn't the answer, "we the people of God" need to "get around the altar and pray, and pray, and pray and pray and pray."

"The Bible says that if weee belieeeve, if we pray and believe with a mustard seed.

Gary, I think you're leaving out some words. However, it is fun to picture Gary lumbering up to the altar, kneeling with a grunt, fussing with his glasses and nose and pants, then pulling a teeny mustard seed out of his shirt pocket to hold while he prays.

Come to think of it, does Gary ever kneel at the altar? He always seems to be up in the front, playing at being in charge.

"The Bahble does not conadict itself."

"Allah's not gonna help you. The statue of Mary over in Mexico is not gonna help you. All these statues, 'n' listen, hey, ah don't thank we should have none of 'em tore down, every one of 'em's got some kinda history, 'less you wanna take down the statue of Obama, that'd be OK, yeah. That ain't got no history, that ain't got nothin' I mean hey, he destroyed America."

Besides being disgusting, that was a fascinating stream of consciousness, zooming around various thoughts about statues in Gary's weird mind. I'm just grateful he doesn't veer the truck as wildly as his thoughts - he'd be killing North Carolinians left and right.

He rambles on about a song by Daniel Waters, called Who's Gonna Fill Their Shoes. It's a rip-off of a George Jones song about country music stars, so Gary should eschew it both for being Country style and for plagiarizing (that's like stealin' Gar, in case that word is too big for you).

But of course he doesn't. He rattles off some of the names of the old-path preachers, and says "I know some of you are against that, that's OK. Y'know, ya get your Bahble out ya might learn somethin' HAYMEN!"

 

Edited June 29, 2020 by thoughtful
the homonyms got me

[Walking Cat Bed 18,706]

20 hours ago, TeddyBonkers said:

The Denver airport is crazy all the way around, from "Blucifer" the horse that killed its designer to the gargoyles in baggage claim. Gary would lose what little mind he had walking around there for 10 minutes. 

It's also the least annoying airport I've gone through security in. I'm sure it's because of Blucifer and the gargoyles.

[thoughtful 96,285]

More defensiveness about masks:

Not sure I want to trust a nurse who says "a bacteria," seems to think we are being advised to wear masks 24/7, and imagines we are all going to pant into the mask like someone breathing into a paper bag because they hyperventilated.

 

 

[thoughtful 96,285]

You'd think they were going to Mars. 🙄

[wallysmommy 59,699]

I read "getting in to" as "grifting in."  Works better and is more accurate.

[thoughtful 96,285]

I just realized that he meant "no problem" and it came out "no probably" due to autocorrect.

I still wonder whether Gary uses voice input or types. Some of the errors look like something a voice input program would do, but the capitalization of whole words makes me think he types (I don't know anything about voice input - are there settings that would allow for that?).

 

[thoughtful 96,285]

Gary was on Facebook while driving this morning, and being as offensive as usual. Lots of nose-fussing and rubbing today.

He half-says, half-sings the words "on the road again," then repeats it a few times, more speech than singing, adding "Grace be to the Lamb, Lord have mercy, thank you Jesus." Ooooh, Gary, I think we caught you remembering some evil Country music from your past, from that liberal, pot-smoking  Willie, no less!

He tells us that it is Tuesday, the last day of June, and that July will be here tomorrow.

Whew! I was unsure.

"Pray fer us gittin' through New York - New York's wantin' to be stupid raht now, but ah got a great God, not a stupid governor - well, ah got one o' them, too, but uh."

He makes it sound as if he is going straight from Maryland to New York. I hope Becky, at least, is aware that Delaware, Pennsylvania, and New Jersey are in the way.

He promises he'll keep us posted on the Hawkins family, every day. "May even have to do a lahve Facebook while we're (chuckle) - if they pull us over in New York."

A preacher told him he might get fined. "I don't know whah Imma get fahned - I haven't been to any hot spots. I haven't been to the first hot spot, far as this vahris 'n' everythin'. Ah haven't bin 'roun' one, that's what ah'm gonna tell 'em. That's what ah'm gonna tell 'em. Ah haven't been 'roun' that mess, so they shouldn't wanna punish me for bein' - not bein' 'roun' that mess, 'n' everythin' but uh."

He sounds less convinced than usual.

Did you know that you could die any second and that you should be ready to meet Jesus, and that Gary would be fine with it if the Rapture came right now?

Just checking.

"Ah talked to a p'lice officer there yesterday in Winston-Salem, 'n' uh he was talkin', he said they was doin' peaceful uh uh riots raht  now - uh protesting 'n' so uh said they was bein' pretty peaceful about it raht now, so that's a blessing."

"It would be awraht with me if the Lord just scratches us outta here before the - uh - votin' tahm, y'know, election tahm."

Yes, he said "scratches," not "snatches."

If you want to wear a mask, wear one, but "don't be shovin' it down the throat of those who don't wear it."

A mask shoved down the throat would be dangerous, Gary - have to agree with you there!

He keeps telling us "stay safe!"

Constantly buying new irony meters is getting expensive.

 

Edited June 30, 2020 by thoughtful
riffle, as usual

[Alisamer 40,490]

Peaceful Riots?

Is that a Quiet Riot cover band?

[PumaLover 15,455]

15 hours ago, thoughtful said:

More defensiveness about masks:

Scrolling down quickly I thought this was Jill Rod. LOL

I have often wondered if he uses the voice to text because my husband does that and his texts come through as completely unintelligible at times. But good point on the all caps. Maybe he really is just that unintelligent that he can't write or spell correctly. Or maybe it's a learning disability.

As far as the masks, they are now required in all stores and indoor areas in California, but that is not being enforced. And from my understanding (I've been a germophobe for many years so all this is nothing new for me) the masks do not PREVENT Covid. The point of them is to prevent you spreading it if you're asymptomatic, correct? A lot of people seem to think that they will keep them from getting sick and that has not been proven as far as I know. Please correct me if I'm wrong!

37 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

A mask shoved down the throat would be dangerous, Gary - have to agree with you there!

😆😆😆 @thoughtful thank you for my daily dose of laughter.

[thoughtful 96,285]

4 minutes ago, PumaLover said:

Scrolling down quickly I thought this was Jill Rod. LOL

I had a feeling that would happen to someone, and almost posted something like "no, you're not on the JillRod thread!"

 

[Alisamer 40,490]

23 minutes ago, PumaLover said:

As far as the masks, they are now required in all stores and indoor areas in California, but that is not being enforced. And from my understanding (I've been a germophobe for many years so all this is nothing new for me) the masks do not PREVENT Covid. The point of them is to prevent you spreading it if you're asymptomatic, correct? A lot of people seem to think that they will keep them from getting sick and that has not been proven as far as I know. Please correct me if I'm wrong!

Spoiler

 

Also:

I've seen other graphics with an even smaller probability of getting it if you are wearing a mask and a carrier is not. But yeah, wear a mask in public if you can!

They're required in NC in public, now. But the person not wearing doesn't get fined, the store they're in does. That's my understanding, anyway.

Edited June 30, 2020 by Alisamer

[Four is Enough 33,704]

First of all, the whole mask thing is a bunch of crap.

The treatment for an anxious person hyperventilating is breathing into a paper bag, and yes, the person's carbon dioxide level will rise, and the breathing will slow down.

However, the paper bag, at least at first, is much less permeable than the mask. With the bag, the person is rebreathing already exhaled air. Until this bag gets moist and its integrity is destroyed, it will contain the carbon dioxide.

The mask, however, is permeable to air, and there is excellent exchange of carbon dioxide out, and ability to take oxygen in.

People are fucking idiots sometimes.

 

[Xan 39,133]

2 hours ago, thoughtful said:

A preacher told him he might get fined. "I don't know whah Imma get fahned - I haven't been to any hot spots. I haven't been to the first hot spot, far as this vahris 'n' everythin'. Ah haven't bin 'roun' one, that's what ah'm gonna tell 'em. That's what ah'm gonna tell 'em. Ah haven't been 'roun' that mess, so they shouldn't wanna punish me for bein' - not bein' 'roun' that mess, 'n' everythin' but uh."

Is he insane?  He's been to churches, restaurants, and every Walmarts that he can find.  It's almost as if he's trying to get the virus.  He brags that he's never worn a mask.  And you know that he'll be stopping at restaurants all the way up to Maine.  Gar -- you are 'roun that mess.  You're just too stupid to know it.

He's another one that's styled himself as a full time Jesus salesman.  Poor Jesus.  Having Gary out there hawking you is about like having Jill Rod selling home school lesson plans.  It's not going to do anything but drive people away.

[keepercjr 10,006]

3 hours ago, thoughtful said:

If you want to wear a mask, wear one, but "don't be shovin' it down the throat of those who don't wear it."

Ah now we are into the same argument they use for LGBT rights.

[wallysmommy 59,699]

I watched this morning's video because I had nothing better to do.  It was 8 minutes of Gary crazy ass ramblings.  I love that the dog is climbing around and playing.  At least Jacob has Rascal (isn't that his/her name?) to play with.

[thoughtful 96,285]

1 hour ago, Xan said:

Is he insane?  He's been to churches, restaurants, and every Walmarts that he can find. 

I suspect Gary either thinks of "hot spots" as some imaginary place with lots of non-white, non-Christian people, or areas he heard of months ago (remember how he was afraid of Louisiana). Or he has seen maps like the one below, and has decided that, since North Carolina isn't in red on it, he's OK, because, after all, he left Alabama days ago.

I think Gary's mind works like that of a 3-year-old. He wants what he wants, and he wants it right now. Logic, his safety and the safety of others doesn't matter when Gary gets an urge.

[Caroline 14,858]

8 hours ago, thoughtful said:

You'd think they were going to Mars. 🙄

So, he's on his annual northern trip, and will end up in northern Maine at some point.  There are no churches open in southern Maine, so I don't understand why churches in other regions would have different rules.  The governor has been very strict about the expectations and people from other states have to present a health certificate showing they have tested negative for Covid 19 in the last 72 hours to stay in a hotel in Maine.  Some doofuses in the north have had their restaurants closed for not following the guidelines.  I would love it if he got stopped and questioned in NY long before he gets here.  We've worked hard up here to keep the disease rate down, and most of us in my town are still being very careful.  I asked by daughter (living with us since March when her school year got derailed) to cancel a camping trip she had planned months ago.  She cancelled it without complaint, because it's still not safe out there.  

[EyesOpen 7,309]

This all makes me ragey. Yes please bring your germs up here where we’ve tried to flatten the curve when  hot spots unfortunately crop up all over the south where they ‘opened up’... everyone in their right minds know that medical professionals wear masks all day long and they don’t pass out or build up CO2. 45 minutes in whalllmarts isn’t going to kill you in a mask to protect OTHERS. Imagine. Just imagine proclaiming the sacrificial love of Jesus in your life... proclaiming wanting to SAVE others with the love and life saving blood of Jesus; who said give away your possessions and follow me. SACRIFICE. GIVE. LOVE. And then spend all your energy BITCHING about wearing a face covering to protect others. He has no testimony; just like unfortunately some of my family and former church friends who make up the majority of complainers and sharers of false information.

you’re DEAD in the spirit if you won’t sacrifice and serve and help others. Nothing else you say is valid. Your testimony will not bear fruit. (Gary isn’t the only one who can speak evangeleze)

Edited July 1, 2020 by EyesOpen

[Black Aliss 34,553]

On 6/28/2020 at 10:03 AM, AmazonGrace said:

Becky, if you fear the masks so much you are REALLY going to hate the ventilator. 

She has enough comorbidities that if when she gets COVID they aren't going to spare an ICU bed, never mind a ventilator for her.

[Black Aliss 34,553]

6 hours ago, keepercjr said:

Ah now we are into the same argument they use for LGBT rights.

And the inverse of the argument they use against abortion.

[TeddyBonkers 13,761]

9 hours ago, EyesOpen said:

This all makes me ragey. Yes please bring your germs up here where we’ve tried to flatten the curve when  hot spots unfortunately crop up all over the south where they ‘opened up’... everyone in their right minds know that medical professionals wear masks all day long and they don’t pass out or build up CO2. 45 minutes in whalllmarts isn’t going to kill you in a mask to protect OTHERS. Imagine. Just imagine proclaiming the sacrificial love of Jesus in your life... proclaiming wanting to SAVE others with the love and life saving blood of Jesus; who said give away your possessions and follow me. SACRIFICE. GIVE. LOVE. And then spend all your energy BITCHING about wearing a face covering to protect others. He has no testimony; just like unfortunately some of my family and former church friends who make up the majority of complainers and sharers of false information.

you’re DEAD in the spirit if you won’t sacrifice and serve and help others. Nothing else you say is valid. Your testimony will not bear fruit. (Gary isn’t the only one who can speak evangeleze)

Can I call him Typhoid Gary? I think it's apropos. 

[Ozlsn 40,556]

6 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

She has enough comorbidities that if when she gets COVID they aren't going to spare an ICU bed, never mind a ventilator for her.

What does Becky have besides being overweight? If they're treating that as an exclusion for ICU beds then that is going to affect a lot of people, not least Gary.

[FiveAcres 8,617]

14 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

First of all, the whole mask thing is a bunch of crap.

The treatment for an anxious person hyperventilating is breathing into a paper bag, and yes, the person's carbon dioxide level will rise, and the breathing will slow down.

However, the paper bag, at least at first, is much less permeable than the mask. With the bag, the person is rebreathing already exhaled air. Until this bag gets moist and its integrity is destroyed, it will contain the carbon dioxide.

The mask, however, is permeable to air, and there is excellent exchange of carbon dioxide out, and ability to take oxygen in.

People are fucking idiots sometimes.

 

The first time I put a mask on (several months ago, seems like several years) I struggled to breath. And my executive function said "You know, you are hyperventilating. Yoga breathing might help. Besides, medical staff wear them for hours and hours without any problem." And lo, yoga breathing did help. (My mother was in and out of the ER in her last few years and I was her primary caretaker. One time, one of the staff asked me if I was okay. I replied, "Am I hyperventilating?" "Yes." So I did my yoga breathing and I was just fine.)

Now, I feel as though putting on a mask is like getting a face hug. (However, I do live in an area with low humidity and it rarely gets very hot here. I imagine places like Houston make it a lot harder.)

7 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

She has enough comorbidities that if when she gets COVID they aren't going to spare an ICU bed, never mind a ventilator for her.

I hope she will be able to get palliative care. Some of the hotspot cities in the South and West are looking pretty dire, and even if they do a total shutdown (which I doubt) it will take a while for mitigation to start taking effect.