Bro Gary Hawkins 14: Ween, glorious WEEN!

[thoughtful]

4 hours ago, FeministShrew said:

Gary is looking more & more like Jabba the Hutt's fatter, uglier, nastier brother.

At least Jabba owned his own business.

ETA: Ordinarily I try not to body shame anyone, but Griftin' Gary is fair game. Get a job, Gary!

But, he lost five pounds in a week!

He gave all the glory to Jesus - I sorta suspect that first week water weight thing, myself.

That picture with his head all scrunched down does have a certain Jabba-esque quality, doesn't it?

 

Edited July 15, 2020 by thoughtful
riffle

[grandmadugger]

Someone should send Gary the study posted in JRod thread about cognitive ability and mask compliance. Of course he probably wouldn’t understand it. 
 

I am fully aware that people have different abilities. Just because someone doesn’t excel at school doesn’t mean they won’t be successful in life. Most people I can see their strong suit. But I don’t see any skills with GHaw.  

[wallysmommy]

G'Haw has great skill in avoiding any semblance of work, talking gibberish, and being a racist, sexist, lying, hypocritical, bigot.

I missed commenting on the sermon where he threw his coat onto the piano.  That's an old Church of God move that every evangelist did who came through in the 60s.  

[Ozlsn]

16 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary is very upset about people who say they are saved, but keep watching the news and posting stuff on Facebook

So... he's going to stop the lives then?

16 hours ago, thoughtful said:

they're sayin' there's a squirrel out there that's caught this binomic thang, ah don't even know how ya say it or what it is.

It's Gary's Bionomial Theorem.

[MayMay1123]

10 hours ago, wallysmommy said:

 

I missed commenting on the sermon where he threw his coat onto the piano.  That's an old Church of God move that every evangelist did who came through in the 60s.  

Any idea why they did that? It seems ol g-hawk loves to imitate 1950-1960s preachers.

[keepercjr]

On 7/10/2020 at 11:30 AM, thoughtful said:

Becky is having a fundraiser:

https://www.facebook.com/events/340133790310297/

I suppose it's possible that the person involved has totally cleaned up her life, but she certainly has had a rocky road, including having children taken away several times, and an arrest for child abuse. I suspect that Becky's reaction is knee-jerk "white bio parents good, state bad."

https://www.facebook.com/autumn.witcher

https://www.facebook.com/people/Autumn-Witcher/100014781693032

https://www.kfvs12.com/story/33829921/chaffee-couple-arrested-after-child-abuse-investigation/

https://www.facebook.com/autumn.witcher.1

I am stuck on this and seriously perplexed.  Alleged violence and drug use and no Jesus.  How in the world did Becky get involved in all this?  I wonder if it is some sort of family relation?  That is the only possible explanation I can come up with.

[wallysmommy]

2 hours ago, MayMay1123 said:

Any idea why they did that? It seems ol g-hawk loves to imitate 1950-1960s preachers.

It was a dramatic motion to get attention.

[clese]

Another friend of g haw.

They post this shizzle all the time.

Read carefully..black people are klan with a tan..

And this comment..

[forgetmenow]

5 hours ago, wallysmommy said:

It was a dramatic motion to get attention.

Add the jacket toss to the demands for his water and he's channeling Meryl Streep.

Spoiler

 

 

[thoughtful]

That Gary, he's such a card. He posted a paean to himself on Becky's phone. But she agrees, since he may "let her" get her nails done.

Spoiler

 

 

[Alisamer]

Did he really post that? Or did he have the kid post it on there on his behalf?

Because the grammar and spelling both make me think "not Gary". 

Also - I find it disgusting he's going to "let" her get her nails done. If she wants to get them done and they have the money for it, he should have no say IMO. 

[thoughtful]

59 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

Did he really post that? Or did he have the kid post it on there on his behalf?

Because the grammar and spelling both make me think "not Gary". 

He may have had Jacob do it. He might also have found it on someone else's Facebook account and copied it.

[Ozlsn]

5 hours ago, Alisamer said:

Also - I find it disgusting he's going to "let" her get her nails done. If she wants to get them done and they have the money for it, he should have no say IMO.

But he's the Man! And yes, that really raised a flag for me as well. I find I wonder more and more about his first relationship, and how he ended up with custody.

[thoughtful]

Death-obsessed Gary says:

Spoiler

Becky will be leading a ladies meeting - wonder if the topic of whether one needs permission to get a manicure will come up:

Spoiler

More on the church:

https://hbcgroton.weebly.com/

They don't appear to have a Sunday evening service - horrors!

[AmazonGrace]

Darn there are going to be a lot of disappointed Christians when the Lord comes.

"Sorry folks, you guys can't come, you weren't reading KJB."

"We read a lot of Bible, can you give us a break? We don't even speak English over here."

"Sorry no can do, I'd love to help but we gotta have some standards here. KJB only, bye "

 

[thoughtful]

Pray the Lord will do might things. Or might do will things. Or something.

I hope Gary isn't the only person preaching at this revival - there's no way he has two weeks worth of material.

[wallysmommy]

People better be turning water into wine and walking on water in order for people to want to come to a 2 week revival, no matter who is preaching.  Even more so with Gary.  That's just cruel and unusual punishment.

[Xan]

Becky has put up two posts.  One is about how superior is the KJV of the Bible.  I'm not sure where she get this stuff to copy and paste.  It honestly isn't worth lifting to place over here.

The second post is about how "we" left people to fend for themselves back in March.  

Spoiler

Speak for yourself, Becky.  I gave people toilet paper and water and canned food.  Did you?  I doubt it.  And you're still selfish if you want to walk around without a mask and infect other people.  One thing doesn't negate the other.

My guess -- Gary and Becky didn't donate anything that they bought themselves.  All they did was take.  Back then it was every man for himself and today it's still every man for himself as far as they're concerned.  

It's a case of mistaken identity, Becky.  You've got me confused with someone who gives a crap about what you think.

[thoughtful]

Yeah, well, if you isolate a few words, I guess you can make it look like other versions of the Bible are making nice-nice with The Wicked. I can do it too, without even cutting anything out:

"Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?"

Gary's favorite passage always sounds to me like it means "the only way to know that Jesus is in you is to be a reprobate - otherwise, how would you know?"

I just know, from context, that that's not what it means. But the wording and punctuation in some of the other translations sure do make it clearer.

Let's look at Brother Mike's quotes. In context, the first one is saying the Wicked Dude (let's call him Donald, shall we?) sees his way succeeding in the short run, here on Earth, which is one of the reasons he thinks he doesn't need God. The Hebrew word in question simply means "will apply" In other words, Donald is selfishly saying "hey, works for me - I'm makin' a buck" about his evil deeds.

The implication that this somehow makes the whole Psalm approve of evil people, in other translations, is ridiculous, and about as dishonest as it gets. The Psalm, in any translation, is not pro-wickedness.

https://www.chabad.org/library/bible_cdo/aid/16231

The KJV translation of the fragment from Ecclesiastes may be accurate - I think the word in question does mean forgotten. But it is about the fact that their evil deeds seem forgotten, not that they have been forgotten. And, once again, the whole passage makes it clear the the Donalds of the world will get their comeuppance.

https://www.chabad.org/library/bible_cdo/aid/16469/jewish/Chapter-8.htm

The one from Isaiah is a bit more complicated. There are homonyms in Hebrew, as there are in English, and two words are pronounced like the English word "low." One means "to (or for) him," and the other means "no" or "not." It looks like, despite the latter spelling being used, the former was meant. I'm sure there's all kinds of analysis of this, somewhere, but I'm not up for it.

https://www.chabad.org/library/bible_cdo/aid/15940

But, in any case, the other translations don't do a thing to make that passage in Isaiah somehow wickedness-friendly - they just make it make more sense. It's  "the people who walked in darkness have seen a great light" - starting out with joy, then getting into the warning about staying with God later.

So, all three passages, in the original Hebrew and in lots of other translations, are part of a "things may seem fine now, and wicked deeds may seem harmless or successful, but you should get right with God" text. You schmucks, that stuff is right up your alley, and you weaken it with your nitpicking of a few words.

Sorry, Becky and Mike, and thanks for playing. We have some lovely Rice a Roni ("the San Francisco treat! Ding ding!") for you.

 

Edited July 19, 2020 by thoughtful
riffle

[smittykins]

Groton is still WAY too close to me for my comfort(it’s down near Ithaca).

[thoughtful]

Sunday has gone here again, so let's let the Preacher know where there with a big small.

Thank you, voice-to-text, and lack of proofreading, for that gift. Amen.

Sunday school at Heritage Baptist - Gary is already up and droning on when the video begins. He asks where his water is, and Becky tells him it's behind him on a chair. At least he turns around to get it - I wouldn't put it past him to expect Becky or Jacob to come up and deliver it.

Spoiler

It's a pretty church, except for the banner.

His theme seems to be drank. "Wahn is a mowker," and there ain't nothin' wiser about Budweiser.

Gary tells the story of trying a five-hour energy drink because he and Becky had to drive around South Dakota all day doing something for his Daddy's radio show. He drank two of them at once. "Within an hour of drankin' two of them, whatever ah was, Becky took a picture of me, 'n' ah'm tellin' ya raht now, I was in another country. You heard o' bein' on cloud nahn, honey ah passed cloud nahn way before that."

Becky is giggling throughout this, at the memory of having the loopy, jittery, over-caffeinated version of her already idiotic husband driving her around in that state. Not my idea of fun, but I guess it's Becky's.

Gary goes on to tell us that he wasn't feeling the spirit of God when he had that junk in him. Two five-hour energy drinks only lasted an hour, and then he crashed.

I guess he figured the name of the drink was like a battery, or the charge on his phone - some sort of guarantee of exactly ten hours of energy. Poor Gary - the one time he tries to use math, it backfires on him.

At about the nine minute mark, he tells us that someone there, in an earlier conversation, said something about Becky adopting Jacob (I'm pretty sure that never happened, but Gary doesn't specify). Jacob "looked at Becky and said 'Well, do you think Daddy adopted me?'"

Now, as we all know, Gary is not clear when he speaks. So it's possible Jacob was joking. If Gary had said he looked at the lady from the church and asked it, I'd figure it was teasing. But he looked at Becky, according to Gary. If it wasn't a joke, it's very strange.

Gary always refers to all seven children - his three and Becky's four - as his kids. Ordinarily, I'd find that potentially positive in a blended family. But, in Gary and Becky's case, it just adds another adult who feels they have the right to constantly pester you about Hell and death and salvation. I'm glad Becky's kids got out of it.

Gary goes on to say he could never deny either of his sons because they look just like him, and goes on to relate this all to being a child of God.

Gary says that 21 years ago, he "became a royal . . . .person." That long hesitation made my brain want to fill in the blank - "pain in the ass" was my first thought. Other submissions are welcome - my brain bank can always use more snark.

"We need to have God all over us, y'know, we talk about this obese am ah sayin' that word raht Becky where ya get, y'know ya gotta be real big 'n' ya gotta eat everything that's in sight, 'n' ya on one o' those  what-the-what-the-uh those see-food diets ya eat everythin' ya see, well listen, ah'm tellin' ya raht now we maht just wanna over- overdose on the word o' God."

He does his rant about the KJV being easier to understand than other versions, then admits that he still doesn't understand all of it (this from a man who reads and re-reads it all day long).

He never learned until he came to New York that you have a to water a piana. He knew you have to water a flower, but not a piana.

"There's two types o' music - there's music that gits in your heart and music that gets in your flesh."

He has to ask Becky "what was the blind woman's name" who wrote hymns. Becky tells him Fanny Crosby, then he asks if she wrote Amazing Grace - nobody seems to know. But he goes on to remind us that she was blind, and wrote songs with meaning. Then he tells us you can't go wrong listening to songs like Amazing Grace and Nothing But the Blood of Jesus (neither of which were written by Fanny Crosby).

While telling us that we have to be careful about music that seems to honor Jesus, but might not, Gary warns us that "You could take that banjo too far."

He spouts some sort of garbled mess about that guy who played the fiddle who just died and sang about come on down to Georgia try to play the fiddle better than the devil.

That would be Charlie Daniels, Gary, and what's your point?

Oh - that song's flesh, not spirit, and a violin can be used for evil, as well. Got it.

"This thang's fixin' to wrap up - it's fixin' to wrap up. And the next thangs, the next big event that we're lookin' for . . .  is the Rapture."

Gary tells a story about all eight lugs on the driver side of the truck breaking at once, but he was still grateful to God. Hey, God, how about telling Gary to stop buying cheap parts and making his family do the work on his truck?

He talks about Brother Ron Beatty going to a rally where he was asked to pray, but not in the name of Jesus. He prayed to Jesus anyway. "You kin pray to Allah 'fyou want to, it ain't gonna git you nowhere." Allah split Hell wide open because he rejected Jesus.

He tells us about the Mexicans crawling over "CEE-ment" to the statue of Mary again.

"There's only one good church in Groton, 'n' this is it."

 

Edited July 19, 2020 by thoughtful
riffle

[Xan]

16 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

Sunday has gone here again, so let's let the Preacher know where there with a big small.

Thank you, voice-to-text, and lack of proofreading, for that gift. Amen.

Sunday school at Heritage Baptist - Gary is already up and droning on when the video begins. He asks where his water is, and Becky tells him it's behind him on a chair. At least he turns around to get it - I wouldn't put it past him to expect Becky or Jacob to come up and deliver it.

 

 

No pressure, thoughtful, but every time I go to the Bro Gary threads and see that you've done a recap, I do a little happy dance.

Spoiler

He has to ask Becky "what was the blind woman's name" who wrote hymns. Becky tells him Fanny Crosby, then he asks if she wrote Amazing Grace - nobody seems to know. But he goes on to remind us that she was blind, and wrote songs with meaning. Then he goes on to tells you can't go wrong listening to songs like Amazing Grace and Nothing But the Blood of Jesus (neither of which were written by Fanny Crosby).  ?

[larrysmom]

52 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

"Wahn is a mowker,"

I'm trying to translate this one...wine, I think I get. But WTF is a "mowker"?

[FunDeeLite]

Holly Molly!  Bro Gary  just dissed Jill Rod and her banjo!  ????

Edited July 19, 2020 by FunDeeLite
Punctuation

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

59 minutes ago, larrysmom said:

I'm trying to translate this one...wine, I think I get. But WTF is a "mowker"?

Wine is a mocker of  men. Somebody needs to tell Jesus.