Dillards 81: Volunteering for God

[nvmbr02]

Our family gatherings aren't quite Duggar sized, but Thanksgiving or Christmas is 60-70ish people. A special gathering like a milestone birthday is easily 100+.  We use real plates (until the plates run out, the latecomers end up with paper) and real flatware for everyone. Real cups/glasses for everyone too. We used to use rubber bands on the plastic cups to remember which cup was yours. So you'd have to remember that you had the large green plastic cup with two tan rubber bands and one blue one, lol. It worked. My poor husband was so confused out first family gathering. Now, we have glasses for all the adults and older children so we just use a sharpie to write on them. There are enough different plastic cups/sippy cups for the younger kids. 

My grandparents were very against waste in general and it rubber off on the rest of us. 

[viii]

I'm very envious of these big families; I always wished I had a large family. 

Since neither of my sisters are home this year for Christmas, it will be me, my parents, and my grandparents. It's all right, but I always wished that I'd have 40 people gathered around, playing games and whatnot. 

[Idlewild]

Has anyone seen Derick's tweet in reply to someone that he’s writing a book- doesn’t say it’s a tell all- could be a fundie sex manual or ‘grifting for the bone idle’? 

[ViolaSebastian]

1 hour ago, viii said:

I'm very envious of these big families; I always wished I had a large family. 

Since neither of my sisters are home this year for Christmas, it will be me, my parents, and my grandparents. It's all right, but I always wished that I'd have 40 people gathered around, playing games and whatnot. 

I'm in that club, too. I just have my brother and his family and my mother. I always wanted a big family (four kids), but life just didn't work out that way. I've always loved to attend my friend's family functions when the whole house is loud and everyone is together. 

[Eponine]

1 hour ago, viii said:

I'm very envious of these big families; I always wished I had a large family. 

Since neither of my sisters are home this year for Christmas, it will be me, my parents, and my grandparents. It's all right, but I always wished that I'd have 40 people gathered around, playing games and whatnot. 

It's wonderful...for a little bit! I'm someone who can get overwhelmed by crowds when I'm supposed to be "on" for hours. I always love it at first, but by the time I leave I'm drained, exhausted, and glad to have peace and quiet. The chaos gets to me. We go from my huge family directly to my partner's family's celebration, which is usually 7-9 people, tops. I have to say, I generally prefer the smaller one overall. I'm somewhat envious of my partner and his small family - but I guess the grass is always greener on the other side!

[EmmieJ]

30 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

I'm in that club, too. I just have my brother and his family and my mother. I always wanted a big family (four kids), but life just didn't work out that way. I've always loved to attend my friend's family functions when the whole house is loud and everyone is together. 

I had 7 siblings, so we always had a largish group for the holidays even if it was just the immediate family.  We usually had neighbors and friends who dropped by on Christmas day for some eggnog and snacks.  My mom always decorated so beautifully and Thanksgiving and Christmas (especially Christmas) were big occasions.  Now four of my siblings have passed away, as have my parents.  One remaining sibling lives across the country, my son is in Hawaii, and so it's just three of us in the same town.  It's not at all the same.  But we're starting new traditions.  For the first time ever in my life, my sisters and I will be going out for Christmas dinner instead of cooking a huge meal for just the three of us.   

[Snarkasarus Rex]

So, Derick is ‘planning’ on writing a tell-all...

https://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/derick-dillard-reveals-he-is-writing-a-book-about-jill-duggars-family/

[libgirl2]

1 hour ago, ViolaSebastian said:

I'm in that club, too. I just have my brother and his family and my mother. I always wanted a big family (four kids), but life just didn't work out that way. I've always loved to attend my friend's family functions when the whole house is loud and everyone is together. 

I am an only child and I only have one child. Both my parents have passed. My husband is estranged from his family. I have 2 cousins who live a couple of hours away. We weren't always close but we do attend functions and holidays by them. I envy them though, there are plenty of kids. Growing up, we had family friends who I assumed were related for years. We spend all out holidays, vacations, weekends with them.... I always had them as my "family". Then they moved out of state and I sometimes feel so lost without my cousins (the two "kids" are my late parent's Godchildren). 

Edited December 4, 2019 by libgirl2

[Idlewild]

13 minutes ago, Snarkasarus Rex said:

So, Derick is ‘planning’ on writing a tell-all...

https://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/derick-dillard-reveals-he-is-writing-a-book-about-jill-duggars-family/

Is he though? Would Jill honestly be OK with that? My bet is he’s writing a book - it will be some sort of marriage guidance thing like the Roloff one Jill is currently plugging but they’ll be all mysterious about it because they know nobody is interested in that but will buy it hoping he is dishing the dirt on the rest of them. He thinks he’s smarter than everyone.

Edited December 4, 2019 by Idlewild

[Ivycoveredtower]

36 minutes ago, Snarkasarus Rex said:

So, Derick is ‘planning’ on writing a tell-all...

https://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/derick-dillard-reveals-he-is-writing-a-book-about-jill-duggars-family/

Well I bet Jim Bob is wishing he never met Derick right about now. Honestly not sure if I would read it or not. I think I might if Jill helped write it but I don't really think Jill agrees with Derick. She let herself be filmed.for Jessa's birth episode and even did some filming herself. She recently posted how she had the boys watching old episodes. It's clear to me Jill still wants to be part of the show 

[Iamtheway]

2 hours ago, Idlewild said:

Has anyone seen Derick's tweet in reply to someone that he’s writing a book- doesn’t say it’s a tell all- could be a fundie sex manual or ‘grifting for the bone idle’? 

I’m ready!

[Twirling Dervish]

I am sure that Derdick assumes that this book will be a massive best seller, generating huge profits and enabling him to never again have to actually work. That seems to be his MO - dream big with lots of talk, little action and even less money. He needs to forget this pipe dream, get his JD and go be a small town lawyer, like the other thousands of law school graduates. Boy is just not as special as he thinks he is.

[apandaaries]

I mean, he could definitely make a quick buck here. People always love exposés. But it would burn every last Duggar bridge. It doesn’t seem that he really takes Jill’s considerations into account when feuding with her family, so maybe he’ll go for it. But it’s not like he’d be living large off the profits forever. 

[Idlewild]

13 minutes ago, Twirling Dervish said:

I am sure that Derdick assumes that this book will be a massive best seller, generating huge profits and enabling him to never again have to actually work. That seems to be his MO - dream big with lots of talk, little action and even less money. He needs to forget this pipe dream, get his JD and go be a small town lawyer, like the other thousands of law school graduates. Boy is just not as special as he thinks he is.

To paraphrase a much mourned British comedienne, ‘ so Derick, what first attracted you to millionaire Jim Bob as a prayer partner.’ 

[Alice in Fundieland]

My dad was one of 6 kids and my mom one of 5. I grew up with lots of aunts, uncles, and cousins and I loved it. My kids have 2 cousins on my husband’s side that they rarely see and my brother doesn’t have any children. We used to be very close, but I haven’t seen or talked to him in almost a year. After years of trying to maintain a relationship with him, I finally gave up. I feel like an only child and I’m sad for my kids that they don’t get to experience those cousin relationships that meant so much to me when I was a kid.

As far as a Duggar tell-all being penned by the Dilllards, I feel it’s necessary to resurrect this gem to remind everyone:

[Aoife]

I'm a little late to the discussion, but I want to speak up praise of the NHS.

I have breast cancer. I've had chemotherapy, surgery and radiotherapy, all free of charge. (Ok, I know I've paid through a lifetime of taxes, but still.) My first hospital diagnostic appointment was a week after I found a lump, and was followed by more tests and scans within another fortnight. Chemo was organised and started in another 3 weeks. This timescale  is fairly standard.

Unfortunately, my cancer resisted all that, and has progressed. Since I became incurable, I have attended one of the top research hospitals in the country to particiate in clinical trials. I have access to new and experimental treatments. I have had several hospital admissions to stabilise me so that I can continue. They also provide counselling. All still free at the point of use. 

Yes, I am still likely to die soon, unless one of the trials comes good. But it won't be because we didn't/couldn't afford to try everything, and my family won't be bankrupted in the process.

 

[DarkAnts]

Derick is willing to burn bridges while I think Jill just wants to set healthy boundaries. She still loves her family. It's got to be hard for her.

[Idlewild]

6 minutes ago, Aoife said:

I'm a little late to the discussion, but I want to speak up praise of the NHS.

I have breast cancer. I've had chemotherapy, surgery and radiotherapy, all free of charge. (Ok, I know I've paid through a lifetime of taxes, but still.) My first hospital diagnostic appointment was a week after I found a lump, and was followed by more tests and scans within another fortnight. Chemo was organised and started in another 3 weeks. This timescale  is fairly standard.

Unfortunately, my cancer resisted all that, and has progressed. Since I became incurable, I have attended one of the top research hospitals in the country to particiate in clinical trials. I have access to new and experimental treatments. I have had several hospital admissions to stabilise me so that I can continue. They also provide counselling. All still free at the point of use. 

Yes, I am still likely to die soon, unless one of the trials comes good. But it won't be because we didn't/couldn't afford to try everything, and my family won't be bankrupted in the process.

 

Love and strength to you. My darling sister was very seriously ill this year- I couldn’t imagine dealing with the illness and wondering how it’s all going to be paid for.

[Cheetah]

3 hours ago, Eponine said:

It's wonderful...for a little bit! I'm someone who can get overwhelmed by crowds when I'm supposed to be "on" for hours. I always love it at first, but by the time I leave I'm drained, exhausted, and glad to have peace and quiet. The chaos gets to me. We go from my huge family directly to my partner's family's celebration, which is usually 7-9 people, tops. I have to say, I generally prefer the smaller one overall. I'm somewhat envious of my partner and his small family - but I guess the grass is always greener on the other side!

I think I'd enjoy going to a Duggar-sized family party about once every 2-3 months if I had a family of that size nearby.  I would hate to be the one hosting more than once a year and I wouldn't want to be doing this weekly extended family night stuff.  

My nuclear family (husband and I, 2 teens who live at home full time, and one young adult who is sometimes away at college and sometimes here) lives far from any extended family and holidays are mostly just us, or occasionally the 5 of us plus my parents.  We actually all like this - all 5 of us are introverts and the last time we spent Christmas away from home with a larger group we all disliked it and decided not to do that again.  (I really applaud people who are 'the more the merrier' types and go out of their way to invite lonely elderly folks or other people without families to their holiday gatherings.  I'm not one of them.)

[Grace]

On 12/3/2019 at 2:41 PM, Eponine said:

Could you elaborate on what the difference is between that and typical fundie kids Bibles or why it's popular among progressive Christians? For us heathens who have no knowledge of such things. That seems potentially really interesting!

From what I remember there isn't any "you are a big fat sinner and Jesus had to die to make up for it" in the JSBB. It's just God loves you so much, like the biggest love you ever heard of like oh man so much"

[ViolaSebastian]

28 minutes ago, Cheetah said:

(I really applaud people who are 'the more the merrier' types and go out of their way to invite lonely elderly folks or other people without families to their holiday gatherings.  I'm not one of them.)

My goal is someday have a home that's big enough to invite every lonely soul, international student, neighbor who only gets one day off and can't fly home to family, and foster kid in the surrounding area to a giant holiday party. All FJers welcome, too, of course.

[QuiverFullofBooks]

So who thinks that Derick’s announcing that he’s writing the tell-all in hopes of getting Jim Bob to open his wallet?

[PennySycamore]

Here's hoping that you respond to the clinical trial,  @Aoife!

I lost my sister to brain cancer (glioblastoma) a month ago. For Laura and for you,  I'll just say this:  FUCK CANCER!!  

[Ivycoveredtower]

6 minutes ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

So who thinks that Derick’s announcing that he’s writing the tell-all in hopes of getting Jim Bob to open his wallet?

Yep Derrick got into Duggarville because he wanted that bank. Then he found out he wasn't going to be rolling in the money and he threw a hissy fit and pulled Jill away from the family and now will make sure her bridges are burned so he can get his grubby hands on money either through blackmail or his tell all

[Idlewild]

15 minutes ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

So who thinks that Derick’s announcing that he’s writing the tell-all in hopes of getting Jim Bob to open his wallet?

Actually I’ve just looked at his twitter feed- there’s a reply on 14 November to someone who’s saying he is no match for the legal resources of Discovery - usual Derick arrogance 

“I don’t think you understand how our legal system works. You don’t get a pass on justice just because you have resources. That might work if it’s a close call, but not otherwise. You just might not hear about it because they settle out of court.”

i think he’s talking about an expose of TLC rather than the Duggars in the hope they’ll pay him off.

edited to add- as a lawyer with over 30 years experience- I’m afraid you often do get a pass on justice if you have enough resources.....

Edited December 4, 2019 by Idlewild