Girl Defined 2: Aren’t They Women Yet?

[St.Clara]

I just watched this well-researched video about Girl Defined. The last part deals with their brother Michael who spoke out against their mother, Heidi Baird. I knew that that happened but was not aware of all the details and found them really interesting. As he was the eldest brother I was intrigued to hear more about what it means to be in that position in a fundamentalist family, about him not having a real relationship with any of his siblings before he moved out etc. He also makes it very clear that they were, in fact, very much part of IBLP although Bethany and Kristen deny that. He attended Alert and his account of that time is horrific. Part of what he remembers having had to endure from his mom also reminds me of Ruby Franke. One wonders if they are all like that. 😭

So if you don´t have the time or the motivation to go down the rabbit hole yourself this is a great ressource (imo).

Spoiler

 

Trigger warning: CSA

Edited September 30, 2023 by St.Clara
Trigger warning added

[JermajestyDuggar]

This is TMI Bethy. 

[FluffySnowball]

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

This is TMI Bethy. 

Maybe that’s TMI from me, too, but… what is she on about with the peeing?! I understand her other points, but one doesn’t involuntarily pee in my experience, no matter how “abandoned and free” one is in the moment. 

[BensAllergies]

Bethy should probably see a pelvic floor therapist if she’s involuntarily peeing like that. In fact I wish that was the only advice she would give young Christian marrieds - see a professional. Instead she tells them that if they aren’t finding pleasure in sex that it’s because they don’t have the right mindset. She thinks that her problems are everyone else’s problems and can’t consider that others experience problems that she’s never faced. 

[browngrl]

 

2 hours ago, BensAllergies said:

Bethy should probably see a pelvic floor therapist

IIRC she had a massive tear during labour with her first child. I suspect that her pelvic floor is significantly impaired. I agree, she probably does need a pelvic floor therapist. She'd better get a real therapist who is trained and licensed, not some untrained fundie who wants to pray the pelvic floor muscles back. 

[Giraffe]

I wouldn't feel so icked out by some of her posts if she also acknowledged how fucking repressed she was pre-marriage. But since she hasn't acknowledged it all of her "sex positive" posts hit me very, very wrong. I wonder how squicked out some of her unmarried followers are by her over the top posts are now. Because even for the fundamentalist world her sex posts are  the definition of cringe. 

[Cults-r-us]

1 hour ago, Giraffe said:

I wouldn't feel so icked out by some of her posts if she also acknowledged how fucking repressed she was pre-marriage. But since she hasn't acknowledged it all of her "sex positive" posts hit me very, very wrong. I wonder how squicked out some of her unmarried followers are by her over the top posts are now. Because even for the fundamentalist world her sex posts are  the definition of cringe. 

She just always seems to be such an under-, ill-informed,  woo-inspired, trying to act hip person who should not give advice to anybody 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Yes, she’s always been an over sharer who thinks she’s the expert on everything. As if over sharing her own very personal experience is the only experience anyone could have. She’s very narrow minded and can’t see anyone else’s viewpoint as valid. 

[MomKB]

Rachel Oates has some good videos on Youtube about Bethany. In the most recent one, Bethany was telling people to go to her 24 year old sister with their health problems, instead of a medical professional.

[JermajestyDuggar]

13 minutes ago, MomKB said:

Rachel Oates has some good videos on Youtube about Bethany. In the most recent one, Bethany was telling people to go to her 24 year old sister with their health problems, instead of a medical professional.

All the Baird girls have all become “experts” in something. I swear they have all started some sort of online scammy business in teaching naive fundies how to do something. Bethany is charging a ridiculous amount of money to teach you how to start up and online business and work from home. I honestly can’t remember all of their stupid courses offered. But they are overpriced and oh so useless. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Umm 👀

[Giraffe]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Umm 👀

C'mon, Bethy, just say it: "as long as the people involved are consenting adults it's ok."

[JermajestyDuggar]

I have to report that at the e d of February, GD and Paul & Morgan will release a joint episode. And I am actually quite interested in it. And that’s mostly because I want to see how they each react to their biblical disagreements. I imagine it won’t be anything ground breaking. Because Bethany is about as deep as a puddle. And Paul is as dominant and dismissive as it gets. But I still want to see it happen. 
 

I also want to add that a YouTube creator named CC Suarez did a deep dive on the Bairds. I hate that I can’t watch it. Unfortunately I can’t stand CC. Partly it’s her manner of speaking. It’s not an accent or anything. It’s just the way she talks that bothers me. Plus she can come across as better than everyone. Sort of smug. And it’s off putting. I’m sure she actually put a lot of work into her video. But I will never watch it. 

[Giraffe]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I also want to add that a YouTube creator named CC Suarez did a deep dive on the Bairds. I hate that I can’t watch it. Unfortunately I can’t stand CC. Partly it’s her manner of speaking. It’s not an accent or anything. It’s just the way she talks that bothers me. Plus she can come across as better than everyone. Sort of smug. And it’s off putting. I’m sure she actually put a lot of work into her video. But I will never watch it. 

YES!!! People on reddit fawn over her and I just can't. Same with Jen from Fundy Fridays. I wish I could tolerate listening to her but she grates on me. 
 

I can't wait for the GD+PM episode. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

9 minutes ago, Giraffe said:

YES!!! People on reddit fawn over her and I just can't. Same with Jen from Fundy Fridays. I wish I could tolerate listening to her but she grates on me. 
 

I can't wait for the GD+PM episode. 

I don’t mind Jen’s voice on FF. Maybe because she doesn’t seem smug. But CC sounds smug a lot of the time. 

[Jasmar]

Huh, I like them both. CC’s GD video was especially well done.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Bethany and Dav did a 24 hours with Paul and Morgan. I didn’t watch the video but I did watch parts. It really wasn’t surprising because I expected Dav to actually talk about important stuff and be thoughtful and not disparaging. While Morgan didn’t really talk that much because Paul talks constantly. I think Paul knew Dav is much more thoughtful and intellectual than him and felt insecure about it. Bethany was just Bethany. Being her verbal diarrhea self. Just saying whatever comes into her mind and not thinking too deeply about things. But at least she was talking. Unlike Morgan whose husband seems to talk over her so she just lets him talk. This is the second “24 hours with” type video and neither have made Paul look good. It’s so easy to outwit Paul. 

[marmalade]

Fundie Fridays covered this. I watched that rather than give Paul and Morgan clicks. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Bethany and Dave put out a video and it sounds like Dave has been on a path to deconstruction for awhile now. He’s not an atheist but his views have changed a lot over the years and he is recognizing that publicly. Bethany seems supportive. But part of me thinks Bethany has always been quite naive and I think she thinks her marriage can stand up to basically anything and everything. Even if Dave became an atheist. And I think her marriage would suffer much more than she realizes if he became an atheist. But hey, at least she’s trying to be supportive. I guess that’s a positive.

[FluffySnowball]

The video Bethany and Dav published about the 24 Hours With made me look at them from a different (and kinder) perspective. And Dav‘s multiple jokes about being an atheist leads me to suspect that he might actually be very well on the way or at least toying with the idea. Sometimes, saying something out loud in a joking manner that feels hard and unfamiliar is a first step into exploring that direction more deeply. 
 

ETA: this is what Bethany’s mum posted today. She really is a horrible person and this is yet another sign. I wonder how much control (financial, etc) she still has over Bethany. Cause she’s abusive and a bad influence. 

Edited March 6 by FluffySnowball

[Giraffe]

46 minutes ago, FluffySnowball said:

The video Bethany and Dav published about the 24 Hours With made me look at them from a different (and kinder) perspective. And Dav‘s multiple jokes about being an atheist leads me to suspect that he might actually be very well on the way or at least toying with the idea. Sometimes, saying something out loud in a joking manner that feels hard and unfamiliar is a first step into exploring that direction more deeply. 
 

ETA: this is what Bethany’s mum posted today. She really is a horrible person and this is yet another sign. I wonder how much control (financial, etc) she still has over Bethany. Cause she’s abusive and a bad influence. 

Heidi's insufferable! 
 

The bolded is what I thought as I watched them. He said so many things in the same ways I did when I was transitioning from believer to atheist. It will be interesting watching the two of them over the next couple years. At the moment Bethany appears supportive. I wonder if that will last. Also if Dav leaves the faith he may also decide being married to Bethany isn't worth it. (I doubt he would initiate divorce. He strikes me as someone who would remain miserable in a marriage in order to continue seeing his children daily)

[CTRLZero]

Dav is deconstructing.  And they are attending a Lutheran church.  I don’t know much about Girl Defined, but figured they were evangelical of some sort?  There has been a shout out by him to an ex-Mormon YouTube channel that I occasionally watch - Zelph on a Shelf.  It’s like my online worlds are colliding, lol.   Zelph has a reaction video which is sorta cute and funny.  YouTube -Zelph reaction video