Seriously Steve 2: She Was a Woman, So She Probably F*cked Up Somewhere

[MamaJunebug 47,969]

(Y’kniw, there are ladies who appreciate the sight of a nice bosom. Should someone mention that to Stevarino? I imagine the droplets of ooze from his head exploding would be found as far off as Saskatchewan...)

[grandmadugger 14,518]

55 minutes ago, MamaJunebug said:

I almost fell off my chair !!!!

Oh you poor things. Srsly.  In Kansas? Is it heading Illinois-way? I must look. I will look. You save your strength for getting more ice. 

Before I read another word, I got to “Gentle Reader” and I have to say, @Palimpsest, I love you!!!!

Ok, back to your post now.

The good news is that this kind of heat means extra money in the bank account but I never see my husband. He’s on his 4th AC repair today. I am living in tank tops and shorts. It is a good thing that Steve isn’t nearby. The girls barely covered might send him into a meltdown. 

[PsyD2013 2,171]

In Steve's defense a glimpse of your neighbor in provocative clothing can have unintended results.  Four years ago, my then single next store neighbor saw me in a pair of slutty yoga pants and an equally slutty tank doing sun salutations on my deck and walked over to introduce himself.  We've been inseparable ever since.

[kpmom 13,620]

4 hours ago, PsyD2013 said:

In Steve's defense a glimpse of your neighbor in provocative clothing can have unintended results.  Four years ago, my then single next store neighbor saw me in a pair of slutty yoga pants and an equally slutty tank doing sun salutations on my deck and walked over to introduce himself.  We've been inseparable ever since.

Were the two of you able to have a conversation though?  I mean what with him crying over your immodesty and all.

[feministxtian 64,621]

here in the SW desert, most houses have 8 foot high walls enclosing the back yards. I enjoy chunky dunking after dark (not during the day, there are parts of me that haven't seen the sun since 1981 and I plan to keep it that way). Stevehovah would shit bricks here anyway...take him on the strip where the young ladies are wearing thongs and pasties. Then there's Larry Flint's Hustler Club, the Gentlemen's Club and assorted other establishments that advertise "male entertainment". 

He'd be in tears just touching down in good old "Sin City"...

[MamaJunebug 47,969]

This can’t be Steve — all his neighbors are family.... unless..... oh, Gigi, you scamp!  

[PsyD2013 2,171]

16 hours ago, kpmom said:

Were the two of you able to have a conversation though?  I mean what with him crying over your immodesty and all.

We had a wonderful conversation and ended up going out for coffee afterwards.  With my Steve there was no crying over my immodest attire- just a lot of you are the total package- smart, beautiful, and those omg those yoga pants.  He loves to tell the story that a pair of red yoga pants brought us together.

[Syriana 1,407]

Why does he do this to me?  I know that even a stopped clock shows the correct time twice per day, but why does Steve have to say something sensible from time to time?

Quote

There is a degree of obedience which looks like the child is heading in the right direction, but the child is hardened and merely avoiding consequences. He is “off-course” from the parents’ hearts and certainly not seeking to please the Lord Jesus. 

Now, whether or not you buy into the religious aspect, I think every parent has probably run into 'they're telling me what I want to hear' and/or 'they're following the rules but I know it's not sincere'.

Steve, you're not as much fun to snark on when you're sensible <grumpy> please resume normal snarkable service!

[kpmom 13,620]

According to Steve's latest Seriously there are no big screen t.v.'s in heaven.  So, I guess smaller screens will have to do. 📺

Edited August 14, 2019 by kpmom

[Coconut Flan 45,531]

What does he know?  We might spend all day watching movies if we want in heaven.

[Coconutwater 3,037]

Why does Steve seem to proclaim to know what’s in Heaven? No one knows, I like to think that (if there is one) it’s filled with the things you loved on earth and the greatest pleasures you enjoyed or never got to enjoy (due to your parents looking at you Steve and Teri, or health reasons, etc...) are there for you. That’s the definition of paradise for me. Steve needs to chill with the “I am all knowing shit” he’s in for a surprise. 

[danvillebelle 11,811]

12 hours ago, kpmom said:

According to Steve's latest Seriously there are no big screen t.v.'s in heaven.  So, I guess smaller screens will have to do. 📺

Oh but there are - and they play The Sound of Music twice an hour, and Jaws 1 2 and 3!  

Fuck you, Stevehovah.  I love watching The Office and my favorite movies on my nice big screen.  

[Black Aliss 46,886]

20 hours ago, Coconutwater said:

Why does Steve seem to proclaim to know what’s in Heaven? No one knows, I like to think that (if there is one) it’s filled with the things you loved on earth and the greatest pleasures you enjoyed or never got to enjoy (due to your parents looking at you Steve and Teri, or health reasons, etc...) are there for you. That’s the definition of paradise for me. Steve needs to chill with the “I am all knowing shit” he’s in for a surprise. 

I think the really big surprise for Steve and so many other fundigelicals is that they're not going to heaven. But, just say they did make it there, in spite of their decidedly un-Christlike values. Teri's heaven will feature a giant fridge that is constantly filled with Diet Pepsi.

[Hane 36,941]

Fuck you, Steve: I got my new smart TV and Amazon Fire Stick up and running the other day, and I cordially invite you to GFY.

[johnhugh 2,884]

Stevie said

Quote

Men (okay, and definitely teenage boys) have this natural tendency that if something isn’t responding quite right, get a bigger hammer, and apply more force.

Too much info Stevie, especially about teenage boys , but of course if John gets bigger, but I’m a top..

I forgot to say these emails are for MEN. - helpmeets stop snooping on MEN only iPads.

Edited September 4, 2019 by johnhugh

[Odd1Out 3,121]

On 8/14/2019 at 4:30 PM, kpmom said:

According to Steve's latest Seriously there are no big screen t.v.'s in heaven.  So, I guess smaller screens will have to do. 📺

I haven’t read his post to see the whole context but neither will there be iPhones, hiking gear, TED talks, and coffee drinks that the Maxwell’s love. 

Just now, Odd1Out said:

I haven’t read his post to see the whole context but neither will there be iPhones, hiking gear, TED talks, and coffee drinks that the Maxwell’s love. 

Know what else there won’t be a need for in Heaven- Bibles. What will the Maxwell’s do each evening there when they still try to isolate themselves from everyone??

[daisyjane1234 4,929]

I just shake my head at the arrogance of Steve.  

[Jana814 18,837]

28 minutes ago, daisyjane1234 said:

I just shake my head at the arrogance of Steve.  

So do I. He has such a big ego. 

[Granwych 21,344]

On 9/4/2019 at 6:53 AM, johnhugh said:

Stevie said

Too much info Stevie, especially about teenage boys , but of course if John gets bigger, but I’m a top..

I forgot to say these emails are for MEN. - helpmeets stop snooping on MEN only iPads.

Say what you want, JH, but your posts are almost always too funny not to snoop on.  As for Stevehovah, we all invite him to go fuck himself sideways.

come to think about it, the only good reason to read any Maxwell writing is to keep the snark supply fresh.

5 hours ago, Odd1Out said:

I haven’t read his post to see the whole context but neither will there be iPhones, hiking gear, TED talks, and coffee drinks that the Maxwell’s love. 

Know what else there won’t be a need for in Heaven- Bibles. What will the Maxwell’s do each evening there when they still try to isolate themselves from everyone??

No ceiling fans, no clothing except those ubiquitous white robes, no animal crackers.  At least there will be bona fide heavenly music.

[SPHASH 12,445]

Today's Seriously email compares abortion to the Holocaust and slavery.  Coward Steve thinks men should do something about it.  GFY ASSHOLE!  If you don't like abortion get a vasectomy.

[Syriana 1,407]

 

 

 

 

1 hour ago, SPHASH said:

Today's Seriously email compares abortion to the Holocaust and slavery.  Coward Steve thinks men should do something about it.  GFY ASSHOLE!  If you don't like abortion get a vasectomy.

He did...then he reversed it because the world needed more of his genetics in it ummm God told him that family planning was wrong (or maybe because his sperm needed freedom more than Teri needed good mental health).

[MamaJunebug 47,969]

On 9/18/2019 at 8:56 AM, SPHASH said:

Today's Seriously email compares abortion to the Holocaust and slavery.  Coward Steve thinks men should do something about it.  GFY ASSHOLE!  If you don't like abortion get a vasectomy.

Damn. It. To. Hell. 

I hate this bs SO much. Enslaved people have no choice. Those murdered in the holocaust had no choice. 

Reproductive freedom offers not only a choice, but offers it to nasty women.

Forced-birthers like Steve simply want the exclusive power to make their own choices — and to choose for others. Just as did slave-traders and -owners, and the Nazi party.  

Any questions?

[nokidsmom 22,148]

On 9/5/2019 at 12:28 PM, Odd1Out said:

I haven’t read his post to see the whole context but neither will there be iPhones, hiking gear, TED talks, and coffee drinks that the Maxwell’s love. 

But...but...my vision of heaven is a tiki bar where everyone is welcome.  And Jesus is the bartender, in dreadlocks. 

ETA:  Imagine Steveovah getting there and seeing that.

Edited September 19, 2019 by nokidsmom

[SPHASH 12,445]

5 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

Damn. It. To. Hell. 

I hate this bs SO much. Enslaved people have no choice. Those murdered in the holocaust had no choice. 

Reproductive freedom offers not only a choice, but offers it to nasty women.

Forced-birthers like Steve simply want the exclusive power to make their own choices — and to choose for others. Just as did slave-traders and -owners, and the Nazi party.  

Any questions?

This.  Nothing riles me up more than asshole like the Maxwells and Duggars compare abortion than the holocaust.  That's why I forgot Coward Steve made the CHOICE to have a vasectomy 35 or so years ago.  He felt guilty about it so he had it reversed and impregnated Griselda Teri at least six more times and take reproductive choices away from women.  Fuck you asshole.

[Black Aliss 46,886]

On 9/19/2019 at 11:39 AM, nokidsmom said:

But...but...my vision of heaven is a tiki bar where everyone is welcome.  And Jesus is the bartender, in dreadlocks. 

My heaven is a honky tonk. Where everyone is also welcome.

Spoiler