Safe at Home 5: Something Happened in Arndtland and It's Finger Lickin' Good!

[Syriana]

I'm stunned...something has actually happened.

Does...Not...Compute...

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Just throwing this out there....guys in bands get women.

Even guys in garage bands playing to non-existent crowds.  It's why half the guys in my high school learned to play guitar.  

[ElToro]

Wait.. I'm confused (quite normal for me)... if you scroll to the bottom it says "copyright 2013 by Good Chicken..."

...have they been planning this for 7 years...?!

[thoughtful]

55 minutes ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

it’s not about penguins?!

Posssibly the most bizarre thing they have ever done (and that's saying a lot!).

[Giraffe]

1 hour ago, ElToro said:

Wait.. I'm confused (quite normal for me)... if you scroll to the bottom it says "copyright 2013 by Good Chicken..."

...have they been planning this for 7 years...?!

The real question is have they been trolling since appearing on whatever that special was many years ago. ??

[SolomonFundy]

The Arndts have now officially reached the point that it's impossible to discuss them with people without sounding like you're just making shit up. 

There's this family! It's 14 kids, except only one is actually legally a child now! And 13 of the 14 are boys! And they ALL LIVE AT HOME! In bunkbeds! And  as a family, they are obsessed with softball, media storage, home improvement, penguins, and white shorts! And they celebrate their birthdays with Tummy Time in their parents' bedroom! Which is conveniently located 25 feet down the hall from where they sleep, because they ALL STILL LIVE AT HOME!!!! And they recently started a chicken-themed jam band! 

 

Like... if this were a daytime TV show, I'd assume that the writers were all on acid. 

[AmazonGrace]

7 hours ago, ElToro said:

Wait.. I'm confused (quite normal for me)... if you scroll to the bottom it says "copyright 2013 by Good Chicken..."

...have they been planning this for 7 years...?!

Probably not a new development for them, just for us? the band videos on Youtube are all from several years ago.

 

 

[quiversR4hunting]

I had to laugh - the last line in the "who we are" I think that is a line from Pitch Perfect when Jesse tells Benji they have an opening in the Treblemakers because Bumper left. 

Quote

WE ARE

Jacob Arndt – Vocals, Rhythm Guitar

Nathan Arndt - Bass, Background Vocals

Johnny Reitano - Lead Guitar

Caleb Arndt -  Vocals, Percussion

Michael Reitano - Vocals, Percussion, Guitar, Keyboard, Kazoo

Bio

Here we are, just a group of five guys singing songs.

 

[GreyhoundFan]

11 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

The Arndts have now officially reached the point that it's impossible to discuss them with people without sounding like you're just making shit up. 

There's this family! It's 14 kids, except only one is actually legally a child now! And 13 of the 14 are boys! And they ALL LIVE AT HOME! In bunkbeds! And  as a family, they are obsessed with softball, media storage, home improvement, penguins, and white shorts! And they celebrate their birthdays with Tummy Time in their parents' bedroom! Which is conveniently located 25 feet down the hall from where they sleep, because they ALL STILL LIVE AT HOME!!!! And they recently started a chicken-themed jam band! 

 

Like... if this were a daytime TV show, I'd assume that the writers were all on acid. 

You forgot about the pumpkin washing and tossing of washcloths. 
 

They are truly strange.

[QuiverFullofBooks]

1 minute ago, GreyhoundFan said:

You forgot about the pumpkin washing and tossing of washcloths. 
 

They are truly strange.

Those are just part of Vine Valley, not their real lives, right? Of course, Vine Valley doesn’t exactly make them look normal.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

4 minutes ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

Vine Valley doesn’t exactly make them look normal.

If tenderly washing pumpkins isn't normal than I don't know what is.   

[AmazonGrace]

Things that go pumpkin in the night.

[helenprev]

I'm currently listening to the Good Chicken song on their website and..... no. I have no words. My 19 year old is studiously ignoring the whole thing from an armchair. Heaven knows how I'm going to explain this!

(Ooooh. Decent guitar solo thought!)

[thoughtful]

9 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

tenderly washing pumpkins

Well, now you've done it. Really, when I say that everything is a song cue, for me, I mean everything is a song cue!

Softly and tenderly Jesus is cleaning,
Cleaning my pumpkin for me
Hear how he chortles, while wiping and washing,
Washing my pumpkin for me!

Chorus: “Come clean, come clean,
Squash that is dirty come clean!”
Earnestly, tenderly Jesus is cleaning,
Calling, "O pumpkin come clean!"

Why should we marry while dad still is filming,
Filming Vine Valley for years?
Sing about chickens, don’t start controversies,
Jesus will dry all your tears!

Chorus

We are not fleeing, there’s no need for passion,
Penguins surround you and me!
Jesus is lathering, twin beds are comfy,
Just for my pumpkin and me!

Chorus

O, what a wonderful gourd he has polished,
Polished for you and for me!
Though you have sinned, bless the Lord, He forgives you,
Gourd of the vine, you are free!

Chorus

 

(not the prettiest rendition, but it's the only one I could find with all of the verses):

 

 

[Petronella]

15 hours ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

Those are just part of Vine Valley, not their real lives, right? Of course, Vine Valley doesn’t exactly make them look normal.

I'm sorry to tell you that the washcloth tossing was part of Rick's real life.

[formergothardite]

7 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Well, now you've done it. Really, when I say that everything is a song cue, for me, I mean everything is a song cue!

Softly and tenderly Jesus is cleaning,
Cleaning my pumpkin for me
Hear how he chortles, while wiping and washing,
Washing my pumpkin for me!

Chorus: “Come clean, come clean,
Squash that is dirty come clean!”
Earnestly, tenderly Jesus is cleaning,
Calling, "O pumpkin come clean!"

Why should we marry while dad still is filming,
Filming Vine Valley for years?
Sing about chickens, don’t start controversies,
Jesus will dry all your tears!

Chorus

We are not fleeing, there’s no need for passion,
Penguins surround you and me!
Jesus is lathering, twin beds are comfy,
Just for my pumpkin and me!

Chorus

O, what a wonderful gourd he has polished,
Polished for you and for me!
Though you have sinned, bless the Lord, He forgives you,
Gourd of the vine, you are free!

Chorus

 

(not the prettiest rendition, but it's the only one I could find with all of the verses):

 

 

This was just amazing and you need to go write for the good chickens. It is also taking me back to all those altar calls where we sang and sang and sang this song(this one isn't quite as bad as Just as I am) and the pastor would say "Just sing one more verse, I know God is working on someone's heart." and I would just die a little inside. 

 

[AmazonGrace]

On 3/6/2020 at 7:27 AM, SolomonFundy said:

The Arndts have now officially reached the point that it's impossible to discuss them with people without sounding like you're just making shit up. 

There's this family! It's 14 kids, except only one is actually legally a child now! And 13 of the 14 are boys! And they ALL LIVE AT HOME! In bunkbeds! And  as a family, they are obsessed with softball, media storage, home improvement, penguins, and white shorts! And they celebrate their birthdays with Tummy Time in their parents' bedroom! Which is conveniently located 25 feet down the hall from where they sleep, because they ALL STILL LIVE AT HOME!!!! And they recently started a chicken-themed jam band! 

 

Like... if this were a daytime TV show, I'd assume that the writers were all on acid. 

Maybe we got this all wrong. Maybe the Safe At Home thing is not meant for the kidults but for the parents' benefit. They're afraid of burglars but they're Safe At Home because who would dare to break in their room knowing that there are 13 strapping lads sleeping 25 feet away.

[thoughtful]

3 hours ago, formergothardite said:

This was just amazing and you need to go write for the good chickens. It is also taking me back to all those altar calls where we sang and sang and sang this song(this one isn't quite as bad as Just as I am) and the pastor would say "Just sing one more verse, I know God is working on someone's heart." and I would just die a little inside. 

Thanks for the compliment - think I'll pass on applying to write for the Good Chickens.

I really like the music for Softly and Tenderly, and felt sort of bad parodying it!

To atone, I offer some better performances. One is broken up, since it is the opening and closing credits for A Trip to Bountiful. The other is Sounds Like Reign, who we have discussed on FJ:

 

Spoiler

 

 

 

 

 

[formergothardite]

1 hour ago, thoughtful said:

I really like the music for Softly and Tenderly, and felt sort of bad parodying it!

It really is a beautiful song, I think singing it for years at altar call when all I really wanted was to leave have ruined it for me. But it is leaps and bounds better than Just As I am, which I loath. 

ETA: And I feel bad for disliking poor Charlotte Elliot's song so much.  She was almost certainly chronically depressed and her song writing helped her a great deal. Just As I am was one of her favorites. 

Edited March 7, 2020 by formergothardite

[Hane]

@thoughtful, you literally made me scream with laughter and almost knock over my nail polish (Sally Hansen Miracle Gel, “Street Flair”).

[abbylabby1]

Softly and Tenderly is a beautiful hymn.  My favorite version is from the movie June Bug--kind of obscure movie but the trio that sings it is beautiful.  Love the harmony.

[SolomonFundy]

16 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

Maybe we got this all wrong. Maybe the Safe At Home thing is not meant for the kidults but for the parents' benefit. They're afraid of burglars but they're Safe At Home because who would dare to break in their room knowing that there are 13 strapping lads sleeping 25 feet away.

13 strapping lads clutching 2 fully loaded penguin plush each, each boasting up to 50 rounds of hand-packed Tummy rounds.

And Whizzy leading the charge with a K'Nex bazooka that shoots nets made from Cathy's shedded hair.

 

I mean... I'd definitely reconsider my life choices if I broke into the Arndtfort and found myself in the midst of such a shocking display of Safety.

[gustava]

9 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

Maybe we got this all wrong. Maybe the Safe At Home thing is not meant for the kidults but for the parents' benefit.

I think you are on to something, seriously.  To keep ALL the mankids at home is less to keep them safe than it is to surround the parents with psychological protection.

[JenniferJuniper]

We are the Good Chickens.

I'm not surprised that some of the boys are frustrated rock stars. Given their lives, I'm sure they are all frustrated something or other.

But why Good Chickens?

Obviously they'd be "good" chickens.  "Bad Chickens" sounds metal, or worse still, punk.  And I'm sure the parental units would be horrified if their good boys went "bad".  Even as chickens.

Chicken.  Free form association....Bird, chick, hen, rooster, scaredy-cat.    Good scaredy-cats.

Yes, I'm grossly overreaching, but when it comes to the Arndts, clues are few and far between. 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

Did anyone else listen to “Sausage & Calendars,” the title track on their Christmas album? The gist of it is that everyone gets sausage and a calendar on Christmas Eve. It’s not clear if this is a breakfast-for-supper deal or “Merry Christmas, Dad bought a case of summer sausage.”