Bates 26: Do Not Attempt This at Home

[HerNameIsBuffy]

19 minutes ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

I thought about after I posted- Gil and Kelly cannot be bothered with all these kids to keep them in control and enforce silly rules. There is probably a whole bunch of apathy involved, as much as anything else.

This is huge.  There are only 4 of us but im the youngest by a lot and my family jokes all the time how the rules were basically non-existent by the time they got to me becusse mom and dad were tired and running out the clock.

[formergothardite]

2 hours ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

I thought about after I posted- Gil and Kelly cannot be bothered with all these kids to keep them in control and enforce silly rules. There is probably a whole bunch of apathy involved, as much as anything else.

Gil and Kelly pretty much checked out as parents as soon as the youngest ones were born. They seem to enjoy their life of traveling for IBLP and cuddling a grand child and handing it back. IMO the youngest ones will probably do whatever because Gil and Kelly wanted to collect children, they didn't want to parent. 

I worry about the younger bunch of Bates children. They were handed to a sibling at birth to raise, they know nothing but their parents using them to make money, they have to deal with the trauma of the siblings who are their real mothers leaving, and their parents spend their lives on constant vacation. The Bates lifestyle is not good for children. 

[lizzybee]

"The Bates lifestyle is not good for children." Should be the slogan of the entire Bates subforum. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

12 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

Gil and Kelly pretty much checked out as parents as soon as the youngest ones were born. They seem to enjoy their life of traveling for IBLP and cuddling a grand child and handing it back. IMO the youngest ones will probably do whatever because Gil and Kelly wanted to collect children, they didn't want to parent. 

I worry about the younger bunch of Bates children. They were handed to a sibling at birth to raise, they know nothing but their parents using them to make money, they have to deal with the trauma of the siblings who are their real mothers leaving, and their parents spend their lives on constant vacation. The Bates lifestyle is not good for children. 

Did the Bates have the same type of Buddy system as the Duggars where the elder girls (kids?  Idk if the Bates boys were buddies) assigned specific children to parent?  

[TuringMachine]

5 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Did the Bates have the same type of Buddy system as the Duggars where the elder girls (kids?  Idk if the Bates boys were buddies) assigned specific children to parent?  

They did. They called it something else, I don't remember what, but I do remember in their old blog Kelly talked about assigning babies a sister mom before they were even born

edit: Found the page where she talks about it. They called them "partners"

https://web.archive.org/web/20101121094257/http://gilbatesfamily.com/2010/09/12/tori-14/

Edited May 24, 2019 by TuringMachine

[formergothardite]

46 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Did the Bates have the same type of Buddy system as the Duggars where the elder girls (kids?  Idk if the Bates boys were buddies) assigned specific children to parent?  

Kelly went beyond the Duggars and assigned her babies buddies while they were in the womb. The baby's buddy was the only one who would know if it was a boy or girl before the baby was born. Michelle was a buddy to the babies, Kelly never was. She was very into baby training and letting siblings raise babies. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, formergothardite said:

Kelly went beyond the Duggars and assigned her babies buddies while they were in the womb. The baby's buddy was the only one who would know if it was a boy or girl before the baby was born. Michelle was a buddy to the babies, Kelly never was. She was very into baby training and letting siblings raise babies. 

I think Michelle also assigned Jordyn a buddy while in the womb. But she was still Jordyn’s buddy when she was a newborn. But poor Jordyn definitely got the most buddy raising because Michelle was at the hospital a lot when Josie was in the NICU. 

[Tim-Tom Biblethumper]

Maybe someone can help with something that's been bugging me.  
I've been recording and watching old episodes from 2016/17 (I left off with the fire in the laundry room), does anyone know who the strange girl is that is living with them?  I say living with them because she always seems to be in the house (even the fire episode, camping with them, I love you day, etc.).
I can't find a pic to tickle anyone's memory because I don't know her name.  They never mention her or interact with her, but she's always there.  

Aha!  I found a pic!

 

Edited May 24, 2019 by Tim-Tom Biblethumper

[llucie]

5 minutes ago, Tim-Tom Biblethumper said:

Maybe someone can help with something that's been bugging me.  
I've been recording and watching old episodes from 2016/17 (I left off with the fire in the laundry room), does anyone know who the strange girl is that is living with them?  I say living with them because she always seems to be in the house (even the fire episode, camping with them, I love you day, etc.).
I can't find a pic to tickle anyone's memory because I don't know her name.  They never mention her or interact with her, but she's always there.  

Aha!  I found a pic!

 

Thats a friend of the girls. She also studied cosmetology at crown, and seems like she is going to be the hairdresser for the wedding tomorrow. ( She posted a instastorie yesterday with Carlin and Joy but its no longer up). She also was the hairdresser for Toris wedding:

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, Tim-Tom Biblethumper said:

Maybe someone can help with something that's been bugging me.  
I've been recording and watching old episodes from 2016/17 (I left off with the fire in the laundry room), does anyone know who the strange girl is that is living with them?  I say living with them because she always seems to be in the house (even the fire episode, camping with them, I love you day, etc.).
I can't find a pic to tickle anyone's memory because I don't know her name.  They never mention her or interact with her, but she's always there.  

Aha!  I found a pic!

 

That’s Courtney. She’s been friends with the Bates family for a long time. She’s engaged now and does hair. She’s doing the wedding hair this weekend. I’ll add that her fiancé actually graduated from the university of Tennessee. Although he looks religious. It’s nice he didn’t go to Crown or some other fundie college. 

Edited May 24, 2019 by JermajestyDuggar

[Tim-Tom Biblethumper]

It seems like Courtney was living with them for a time.  Like I said, she's always there in the background.

[VBOY9977]

49 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

That’s Courtney. She’s been friends with the Bates family for a long time. She’s engaged now and does hair. She’s doing the wedding hair this weekend. I’ll add that her fiancé actually graduated from the university of Tennessee. Although he looks religious. It’s nice he didn’t go to Crown or some other fundie college. 

Where did you see that she got engaged? I didn’t see any posts indicating that in her ig and her fb just says “in a relationship”

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 minutes ago, Tim-Tom Biblethumper said:

It seems like Courtney was living with them for a time.  Like I said, she's always there in the background.

She may have acted as a helper with homeschooling before the Paine girl moved in.

6 minutes ago, VBOY9977 said:

Where did you see that she got engaged? I didn’t see any posts indicating that in her ig and her fb just says “in a relationship”

I thought I saw her post on her Instagram stories a few months ago that she’s engaged. I could be remembering wrong. 

[ophelia]

8 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

She may have acted as a helper with homeschooling before the Paine girl moved in.

Is one of Chad's sisters still living with them? 

[llucie]

1 hour ago, ophelia said:

Is one of Chad's sisters still living with them? 

Wasnt Tabitha(before she married) helping the Duggars and not the Bates?

[VelociRapture]

2 minutes ago, llucie said:

Wasnt Tabitha(before she married) helping the Duggars and not the Bates?

Yes, she was. Tabitha Paine lived with the Duggars as their tutor prior to marrying the convicted sexual offender. The Duggar and Bates families attended the wedding, which was held April 1, 2017 (I believe.) 

[TatiFish9]

22 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

  While I agree they all are still Fundie and I don’t see any of them (except 1 couple maybe) shifting ...

Is this Zach and Whitney?

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, VelociRapture said:

Yes, she was. Tabitha Paine lived with the Duggars as their tutor prior to marrying the convicted sexual offender. The Duggar and Bates families attended the wedding, which was held April 1, 2017 (I believe.) 

I thought one of the other Paine sisters was living with the Bates family for a time too. I can’t remember if it as Abby or Brielle. 

[TatiFish9]

On 5/24/2019 at 6:25 AM, nelliebelle1197 said:

Relaxing a few superficial rules because you are trying to make your cult less creepy is not exactly change. [...]

Most rules in fundamentalism are indoctrinated. There is at least one core scripture/biblical reference used to supress believer desire to disobey that rule in moments of self expression . There is nothing superficial about this and quite offensive to those who have been spiritually, emotionally, physically, sexually abused etc for disobeying these rules. 

Again, the general concept of wearing pants has always been debatable in fundie circles because the scripture Deut 22:5 referenced has long since been countered by the idea that mens and womens standard apparel changes through out time.

In 2019, fundies still believe folks will go to hell (which for many religious folks is a  very real place) if they drink ( many enforce total abstinence), dance, fornicate or emphasize any sexuality before marriage, deal with anything fantasy related ( stuff like unicorns) just to give examples listed here as silly or inconsequential.

Nuance varies from one fundie family to the next, fellowship to fellowship and regionally/cultural influence does play a huge roll. However, some things persist across the board.

Carlin dancing at her wedding is a HUGE deviation. Let's see if it will turn into a fundie trend like unicorns and seances. Alyssa rejecting purity culture's central tenant in both word and action - HUGE. It's one thing to say they're still fundie because of their core values. It's another to gloss over clear change made because we're looking for something more solid before we believe they can actually change for good.

Btw, just talked to a dude raised and still actively fundie while in a professional setting last week. Somehow, we got into a conversation about how he is 40 years old and has never had a sip of fermented drink in his life. He was proud of this fact.

Also, I just received lecture from a fundie family member about how watching Game of Thrones is akin to letting the devil walk through my door. This was a serious and damning discussion. Let it be known that there were no jokes here.

I know the Bates are getting all fancified for whatever reason, but folks are still suffering from abuse related to these kind of religious ideals just as much as others are suffering from these groups attempting to take their rights away. Also, transectionality.

Do not think for one second these "trends" are "lite". Instead, they are all links in a system of abuse, control and degradation.

 

Edited May 25, 2019 by TatiFish9

[nickelodeon]

51 minutes ago, TatiFish9 said:

Carlin dancing at her wedding is a HUGE deviation. Let's see if it will turn into a fundie trend like unicorns and seances.

 

Wait wait wait hold the phone, the fundamentalists are channeling the spirits of the dead now?

I can see it now: Alyssa posting selfies with captions like “always be yourself, unless you can be the ghost of an 8 year old boy who was murdered in 1986 ☺️☺️❤️???”

[TatiFish9]

Someone who sounds like Gil is on one of Evan's rehearsal dinner instastories saying he doesn't like to do "this" women's work. The video shuts off just then.

Smh. Haven't they recently denied gender specific activies? I thought it was Kelly who said something about it.

[nelliebelle1197]

1 hour ago, TatiFish9 said:

Most rules in fundamentalism are indoctrinated. There is at least one core scripture/biblical reference used to supress believer desire to disobey that rule in moments of self expression . There is nothing superficial about this and quite offensive to those who have been spiritually, emotionally, physically, sexually abused etc for disobeying these rules. 

Again, the general concept of wearing pants has always been debatable in fundie circles because the scripture Deut 22:5 referenced has long since been countered by the idea that mens and womens standard apparel changes through out time.

In 2019, fundies still believe folks will go to hell (which for many religious folks is a  very real place) if they drink ( many enforce total abstinence), dance, fornicate or emphasize any sexuality before marriage, deal with anything fantasy related ( stuff like unicorns) just to give examples listed here as silly or inconsequential.

Nuance varies from one fundie family to the next, fellowship to fellowship and regionally/cultural influence does play a huge roll. However, some things persist across the board.

Carlin dancing at her wedding is a HUGE deviation. Let's see if it will turn into a fundie trend like unicorns and seances. Alyssa rejecting purity culture's central tenant in both word and action - HUGE. It's one thing to say they're still fundie because of their core values. It's another to gloss over clear change made because we're looking for something more solid before we believe they can actually change for good.

Btw, just talked to a dude raised and still actively fundie while in a professional setting last week. Somehow, we got into a conversation about how he is 40 years old and has never had a sip of fermented drink in his life. He was proud of this fact.

Also, I just received lecture from a fundie family member about how watching Game of Thrones is akin to letting the devil walk through my door. This was a serious and damning discussion. Let it be known that there were no jokes here.

I know the Bates are getting all fancified for whatever reason, but folks are still suffering from abuse related to these kind of religious ideals just as much as others are suffering from these groups attempting to take their rights away. Also, transectionality.

Do not think for one second these "trends" are "lite". Instead, they are all links in a system of abuse, control and degradation.

 

I know. I was a fundie. But with Gil and Kelly, it is apathy and softening the IBLP image. They and the Duggars are the ambassadors for that cult. And Gil and Kelly gave up any guise of parenting around the Jackson era.

[TatiFish9]

2 minutes ago, nickelodeon said:

Wait wait wait hold the phone, the fundamentalists are channeling the spirits of the dead now?

I can see it now: Alyssa posting selfies with captions like “always be yourself, unless you can be the ghost of an 8 year old boy who was murdered in 1986 ☺️☺️❤️???”

lol!!! With fundies, you know it has to tie into Jesus talk. The 8 y/o will have a back story. He was the prince who was promised to take over Bates Baptist when he came of age, but his life was cut down before he could fulfill his calling to the Lord. That is why they are calling him forth now for advice on how to finalize church renovation projects on a timely schedule.

[justmy2cents]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I thought one of the other Paine sisters was living with the Bates family for a time too. I can’t remember if it as Abby or Brielle. 

There was a Paine sister staying with them for a while. I thought it was Hannah. ? She's married now and the last 2 sisters are about to be I believe.

[formergothardite]

11 hours ago, TatiFish9 said:

There is nothing superficial about this and quite offensive to those who have been spiritually, emotionally, physically, sexually abused etc for disobeying these rules. 

I think that it being or not being a superficial change depends on the situation. Alyssa changed in a way that was already acceptable in her religious group. People who her family viewed as Christian equals dressed this way. She joining with a family her parents accepted where women wore pants. She didn't rebel against her father or her husband. Her parents support her and defend her way of dress when people make nasty comments. She didn't do something she knew would cause massive backlash and abuse because what she did was something that was already acceptable in her religion. 

If Alyssa had worn pants when no one in her community had and where people had to hide their thoughts on pants lest they suffer some form of abuse, it would not be a superficial change. But that isn't what she did. She did something her community accepted and her family would defend, and that is what makes it superficial. 

I think it would be more offensive to people who suffered abuse for wearing pants to act like what Alyssa did was on par with what they experienced.