M is for Mama 3: B is for Baby Boy Born

[ViolaSebastian]

Quote

I pray that they worry less about fighting for their "rights" and more about carrying their cross with grace and humility. 

Fuck you, Abbie. So hard. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

16 minutes ago, NotQuiteMotY said:

Yeah, I'm currently pregnant with our second and probably last. Babies are adorable and all, but they are HARD, and so is being pregnant, at least for me. I may want more viscerally (because cute! and adorable!), but intellectually I know there's a limit to what I can handle, especially with a history of postpartum depression. I know there are a lot of stages I'll miss when they're done, but at the same time there are a lot I won't. First smiles, laughs, etc.? Awesome! Trying to comfort the minorly hurt kid without giving into the urge to ask, "But WHY did you think that was a good idea?!" Not so much. Potty training? In the thick of it now with the first and absolutely positive that if there was a way to skip it with the second I would do it in a heartbeat.

A lot of the quiverfull moms we talk about here, once they have a few and can use the older kids on the toddlers and up, seem perpetually stuck in the "cute baby!" stage. Like, don't you realize there's more to your children than that? My kid was the cutest baby ever, at least as far as I'm concerned, but as a toddler? The pride he has in mastering something, the ability to play by himself, the phrases he comes out with? Incredible. And he's still cute doing it.

@SuperNova, that's unnerving that he got "lost" long enough to accomplish that, especially with that many pairs of eyes. That's not two, that's caretakers being overwhelmed or distracted for way too long.

I just got my youngest to stop shitting his pants every single day. That lasted for months. Potty training that child almost broke me. It’s like all of my stubbornness and all of my husband’s stubbornness was poured into him to create a super power of stubbornness. It would be amazing if it wasn’t so frustrating. 

5 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

I pray that they worry less about fighting for their "rights" and more about carrying their cross with grace and humility. 

This is exactly what I would expect from an overprivileged narcissistic asshole like Braggie. It must suck to be so predictable. 

Edited April 29, 2019 by JermajestyDuggar

[feministxtian]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I just got my youngest to stop shitting his pants every single day. That lasted for months. Potty training that child almost broke me. It’s like all of my stubbornness and all of my husband’s stubbornness was poured into him to create a super power of stubbornness. It would be amazing if it wasn’t so frustrating. 

And you have just described why I should have not reproduced. I'm right hard-headed, but when you're dealing with a little person who is essentially your clone, it's worse. My kids are me...for better or worse. They're smarter and better educated than I am, but damn...they wouldn't know a box or a wall. They're like "wall, what wall? Oh you mean that pile of rubble back there?" or "box, what box? I don't see no box!"

I feel for ya, I really do. 

[luv2laugh]

Must read Braggie post complete with prairie glamour shots, cheesy quotes, and bragging.

http://misformama.net/2013/04/wardrobe-wednesday-m-is-for-mama.html

Edited April 30, 2019 by luv2laugh

[SuperNova]

2 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

Must read Braggie post complete with prairie glamour shots, cheesy quotes, and bragging.

http://misformama.net/2013/04/wardrobe-wednesday-m-is-for-mama.html

Abbie is staggeringly arrogant and dismissive of others. She acknowledges that she's being an unkind bitch but this post is all about Abbie so it's cool:

"After all, it takes almost no talent to pop out a baby or five (and, yes, I realize that is like a poke in the eye to my sweet readers who are struggling to conceive, but I am speaking in generalities, not{painful} specifics)."

[nastyhobbitses]

I feel like when Anthropologie customer service sees her number flash on incoming calls, they just get the manager preemptively. 

[Smee]

My youngest is 2 1/2 and I’m in the midst of toilet training (again) which is making me feel a lot better about the decision to stop having children. Now I want nieces and nephews so I can coo through the cute baby stage, laugh through the “kids say the darndest things” stage and then give them to their parents for the toilet training stage. I loathe it.

It’ll be nice to have adults some day and I hope I have a good relationship with them, but instead of wishing away the future, I’m making the most of the boring board games and messy craft and reading the same story ten times a day because that’s their favourite and dancing to the fucking baby shark song. Because I already know I will miss it one day. Just like I already miss breastfeeding and the weight of a sleeping newborn in my arms and watching them practice standing up with faces of absolute concentration. I look back sometimes on how many pictures I took of our eldest and think about how much more patient I was with him, and I think even if *I* “enjoyed” parenting more with each subsequent child, they got less of me as a parent. And that’s with only three.

oh, and I will not miss toilet training. 

 

[luv2laugh]

Also, she puts down people who work in food service by saying she doesn’t know how “flipping a burger or being a waitress” would make one a better teacher.

Jerk...

[lilith]

14 hours ago, NotQuiteMotY said:

Trying to comfort the minorly hurt kid without giving into the urge to ask, "But WHY did you think that was a good idea?!" Not so much. Potty training? In the thick of it now with the first and absolutely positive that if there was a way to skip it with the second I would do it in a heartbeat.

 

Wait, you’re not meant to ask that? 4 kids in and I still haven’t mastered it. When I spent 36 hours in an emergency department with my first 4 year old trying to get the bead she had put in her ear out I must have asked it a hundred times! Yes, I know you were pretending it was an earring like Mummy’s and it rolled in, but WHY!!!?!!?

My 3 1/2 year old has just decided today to cooperate with potty training and has pretty much mastered it in a day after resisting my (admittedly on and off) attempts for a YEAR. I feel your pain.

3 hours ago, Smee said:

My youngest is 2 1/2 and I’m in the midst of toilet training (again) which is making me feel a lot better about the decision to stop having children. Now I want nieces and nephews so I can coo through the cute baby stage, laugh through the “kids say the darndest things” stage and then give them to their parents for the toilet training stage. I loathe it.

It’ll be nice to have adults some day and I hope I have a good relationship with them, but instead of wishing away the future, I’m making the most of the boring board games and messy craft and reading the same story ten times a day because that’s their favourite and dancing to the fucking baby shark song. Because I already know I will miss it one day. Just like I already miss breastfeeding and the weight of a sleeping newborn in my arms and watching them practice standing up with faces of absolute concentration. I look back sometimes on how many pictures I took of our eldest and think about how much more patient I was with him, and I think even if *I* “enjoyed” parenting more with each subsequent child, they got less of me as a parent. And that’s with only three.

oh, and I will not miss toilet training. 

 

Parenting my 4th after a 10 year gap makes me realise how much my first 3 (all born within 3 years) missed out on. I coped, I met their needs (god knows how), as a single mother from when they were 3, 2 and 1, but my eldest had been big sister for years at the same age as my youngest is still everyones  beloved baby and I never had the time, energy or resources to truly dwell on the magic of each stage and each moment like I am with my last child. Mothers who constantly reproduce really are doing themselves and their children a disservice even if they are managing the essentials.

[danvillebelle]

I am going to add a thought (a sad one, sorry), in case Abbie or someone she knows reads here.

The more I think about a toddler "flooding the bathroom" several rooms away from everyone else in a huge house, the more worried I become.

I had friends who lost their 14mo son years ago in an accidental drowning.  It was no one's fault, just a tragic accident.  He was out of her sight for LESS THAN A MINUTE and he was gone.  It shattered their family and shattered our little church.  It remains the most devastating experience I have ever been through outside of my own mental illness.  He was everyone's sunshine, the quintessential happy baby who goes to everyone.  All who knew him will miss him forever.

Kids can drown so, so easily, well into toddlerhood.  In a couple inches of water, or less.  All it takes is one big inhale and they're gone.

Put childproof locks on your little-used bathroom doors, for god's sake.

[SassyPantswithASideofClass]

10 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

I feel like when Anthropologie customer service sees her number flash on incoming calls, they just get the manager preemptively. 

lol. And they all take a shot of whiskey, tequila, vodka, whatever they want before they have to deal with her

[smittykins]

10 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

Also, she puts down people who work in food service by saying she doesn’t know how “flipping a burger or being a waitress” would make one a better teacher.

Jerk...

And I’m sure in her mind, she’s thinking “And they want $15 an hour.”

(I did fast food for almost ten years, and that’s a sore spot with me.  “They deserve minimum wage because anyone can do it.”  I’d like to have them try it and see how long they last.)

[JermajestyDuggar]

16 minutes ago, smittykins said:

And I’m sure in her mind, she’s thinking “And they want $15 an hour.”

(I did fast food for almost ten years, and that’s a sore spot with me.  “They deserve minimum wage because anyone can do it.”  I’d like to have them try it and see how long they last.)

Braggie would make it long enough to take a few pictures to post about and then she would quit. After that, she would mention her fast food work for the next decade as if she had worked there longer than one day. 

[feministxtian]

I've done fast food/pizza and man, you can't pay me enough to do it again. I truly think they're WAY underpaid. Dealing with shitty customers, the hazards, the mind-numbing shit...Personally I think the crew should be paid more than the managers. 

But....that's just me. 

Braggie would never cut it. Never. Try a tour bus pulling up during lunch rush and trying to get everyone fed and people bitching about how long it's taking when you, the front counter person, can't do a damn thing about it. Try listening to the abuse hurled when the price is raised on a regular customer's combo and they have a shit fit all over you. Fuck that noise 

[smittykins]

Oh man, the stories I could tell...

Back when BK was selling the Lion King toys, the chain ran completely out of stock in five weeks and we were reduced to putting trading cards in the kids’ meals.  One guy absolutely lost his shit about us not having the toys, and the manager almost had to call the cops.

[DundeeUnFundie]

On 4/30/2019 at 4:35 AM, ViolaSebastian said:

Fuck you, Abbie. So hard. 

And if anything, those views aren't going to get her a book/tv deal. I don't believe she turned a tv deal down because she thinks they're too boring. It doesnt fit with her needing to preach about how she's doing everything perfectly ("but Im not perfect just like you!") She's too problematic and open about it. People won't want to take on someone who could end up being a bad investment if someone found old insta pics like that.

I do wonder how much she would enjoy going viral for those negative views. She seems to live in a bubble of supportive comments while judging others, and she desperately wants to be a known name. I wonder if she'd be thrilled to be a matyr (bit like Lori) or if she would take it super personally like she indicates when she says she wants everyone to like her.

[TuringMachine]

I worked at Starbucks before I got the offer for my current job as a software engineer.  When I first started this job I distinctly remember thinking I was getting paid a lot more to work a lot less.  Also, Abbie, as lowly as you might think that kind of work is, I definitely learned skills at Starbucks that helped me as an Engineer. Learning how to deal with difficult people and situations is helpful in any field. 

[luv2laugh]

Who is ready to go down a huge rabbit hole?

I discovered that Braggie used to have another blog that she started in 2011.

In this blog, she’s a wanna-be instagram fashion model with a thrift twist and plenty of glamour shots. Also, she actively blogged when she was a mom of 2-3 kids but stopped updating once the twins got older. After the twins came, I think she sort of lost her way and overcompensated for something by becoming “super-fundie”.

http://www.secondhandorbarebottom.com/2011/10/lace-n-boots.html?m=1

She used to call her MisForMama blog FiveDaysFiveWays before writing a post about changing the name to align herself with the identity of being a mother. 

Edited April 30, 2019 by luv2laugh

[CTRLZero]

Second Hand or Bare Bottom - "Cheeky adventures in extreme thrifting..."

Rabbit hole, here I come! 

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 hours ago, CTRLZero said:

Second Hand or Bare Bottom - "Cheeky adventures in extreme thrifting..."

Rabbit hole, here I come! 

Have fun! I have no interest in looking. She’s so self indulgent that I would get sick of her shit by the third post about how cheap she got an Anthro outfit. 

[luv2laugh]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Have fun! I have no interest in looking. She’s so self indulgent that I would get sick of her shit by the third post about how cheap she got an Anthro outfit. 

She did a blog post on exactly that.

”Go check it out, vote, and let me know how much you think the cheapest clothes-buyer possibly on the planet paid for the dress she chose!”

http://www.secondhandorbarebottom.com/2012/02/thrifter-at-anthropologie.html?m=1

What is her deal? “Cheapest clothes-buyer on the planet”? Now, “most fundie” lady at church with the “most kids” who still exercises and scores discounted decor?

Also, I spotted another post on there where she referred to somehing as “ghetto” again.

Edited May 1, 2019 by luv2laugh

[nastyhobbitses]

20 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

I am going to add a thought (a sad one, sorry), in case Abbie or someone she knows reads here.

The more I think about a toddler "flooding the bathroom" several rooms away from everyone else in a huge house, the more worried I become.

I had friends who lost their 14mo son years ago in an accidental drowning.  It was no one's fault, just a tragic accident.  He was out of her sight for LESS THAN A MINUTE and he was gone.  It shattered their family and shattered our little church.  It remains the most devastating experience I have ever been through outside of my own mental illness.  He was everyone's sunshine, the quintessential happy baby who goes to everyone.  All who knew him will miss him forever.

Kids can drown so, so easily, well into toddlerhood.  In a couple inches of water, or less.  All it takes is one big inhale and they're gone.

Put childproof locks on your little-used bathroom doors, for god's sake.

Between this and the kids' bedrooms on the second floor that don't have direct egress into the hallway (MASSIVE fucking hazard in a fire), I am actively fearful for her kids' safety. Normally I try to cut people a little slack and not immediately jump to "THE CARSEAT CHEST CLIP WAS ONE MILLIMETER TOO LOW CLEARLY THIS IS YOUR ATTEMPT AT A FOURTH TRIMESTER ABORTION", but Abbie, you chose to have 8 fucking kids. Childproof your goddamn house and supervise your goddamn kids. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

5 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Between this and the kids' bedrooms on the second floor that don't have direct egress into the hallway (MASSIVE fucking hazard in a fire), I am actively fearful for her kids' safety. Normally I try to cut people a little slack and not immediately jump to "THE CARSEAT CHEST CLIP WAS ONE MILLIMETER TOO LOW CLEARLY THIS IS YOUR ATTEMPT AT A FOURTH TRIMESTER ABORTION", but Abbie, you chose to have 8 fucking kids. Childproof your goddamn house and supervise your goddamn kids. 

It seems to be a pattern with fundies that they don’t child proof. Probably because so many of them used blanket training years ago. Braggie could come up with some hip and trendy child proofing ideas. A Dutch door for example. It’s cuter than a baby gate and we know she loves old doors. 

[ViolaSebastian]

On 4/30/2019 at 1:44 AM, luv2laugh said:

Also, she puts down people who work in food service by saying she doesn’t know how “flipping a burger or being a waitress” would make one a better teacher.

Jerk...

What an inability to think critically. There are a million ways working fast food or as a waitress could help you be a better teacher. Surely, at some point most people have had to train new team members to work the kitchen equipment or take orders—so the actual teaching bit is obvious. It improves one’s ability to work with people who are upset or angry at you. You have to delegate tasks and multi-task like a champ to be a waitress or work in fast food or teaching. You get to work on your problem-solving skills on the daily. You learn to work with a team of co-workers and answer to an authority figure. You learn to show up on time, prepared to work, and you learn job etiquette like wearing appropriate clothes and not using swear words. You manage large groups of people who come in to eat together, or possibly go to catering events where you’re dealing with groups. Has Abbie ever worked a drive-thru? That takes serious planning and organizational skills. You learn to be an active listener (you don’t want to mess up that guy’s order; he’s allergic to shellfish). You learn to give and accept constructive criticism and use feedback to improve your skills. You learn to work hard—and every teacher I know busts their ass on the daily. 

I really could go on and on. Her attitude bothers me so much; even “low-skill” jobs are opportunities to learn amazing skills that’ll benefit people throughout their career. I use deescalation techniques I learned diffusing family situations when I sold wedding products to this day as a social worker. To get all Mike Rowe for a minute, every job is an important one and people should be respected for working and contributing whether they pick up road kill or run an entire city. Hell, I worship the ground my maintenance man walks on—if he wasn’t there to snake a drain or fix a window, I’d be boned. 

Okay, rant over. 

[danvillebelle]

1 hour ago, ViolaSebastian said:

 It improves one’s ability to work with people who are upset or angry at you. You have to delegate tasks and multi-task like a champ to be a waitress or work in fast food or teaching. You get to work on your problem-solving skills on the daily. You learn to work with a team of co-workers and answer to an authority figure.

My younger son worked in the kitchen of a large restaurant chain for a little over a year.  He learned SO MUCH that will serve him well through the rest of his life.  He works at a nightclub now and he has told me numerous times that things he learned in restaurant work always come up.