Bro Gary Hawkins 9: He still makes my dinner come back up

[MarblesMom]

Ok folks, he is live on FB right now.  I will report back on the length of his tie and other (if any) tidbits.

**ETA that the quick video seemed to be of others, not the actual G-Haw.

The trio that sang in the beginning was kinda good.  I tuned out and off quickly, and moved on with my evening.

[keepercjr]

*eyeroll*  .  Think Kh  speaks weenese?

 

[zeebaneighba]

Kh Ashby seems to have gotten the same education as Bro Gary.

[Lisafer]

8 minutes ago, zeebaneighba said:

Kh Ashby seems to have gotten the same education as Bro Gary.

They're aginsted education. Aman.

[Evangeline]

OK folks. It's almost that time of year again! That's right, the Supper Bowel is almost upon us! 

- Will Bro Gary attend Sunday night church instead of watching? 

- Will he accuse football fans of hating the Lord? 

- Is Maroon 5 the very manifestation of Satan on earth? 

- Will Bro Gary get out of his recliner and put his hand over his heart during the national anthem like all good MAGA 'Muricans?

- And, most importantly, will weens be served?

Stay tuned to find out!

[wallysmommy]

Out of curiosity I also went to Sister Daphne's FB page. We need to all pray for Facebook because they keep putting her in FB jaiL, and pray for her dog that keeps running into the street.  These two requests are going to the top of my prayer list. She also accepts love offerings, so she may be cutting into Bro Gary's fanbase.

[smittykins]

9 hours ago, Evangeline said:

OK folks. It's almost that time of year again! That's right, the Supper Bowel is almost upon us! 

- Will Bro Gary attend Sunday night church instead of watching? 

- Will he accuse football fans of hating the Lord? 

- Is Maroon 5 the very manifestation of Satan on earth? 

- Will Bro Gary get out of his recliner and put his hand over his heart during the national anthem like all good MAGA 'Muricans?

- And, most importantly, will weens be served?

Stay tuned to find out!

Kind of OT, but years ago, I came across a copy of the Assemblies of God magazine with an article about an offering taken the day of the Super Bowl which is donated to food banks and the like(a national thing—the name escapes me—which my church also does), and it felt the need to explain that “the Super Bowl is the championship game of the National Football League.”

[PumaLover]

OK folks, Sis Puma has been on vacation in Arizona for the last couple weeks and is just getting back to FJ. Looks like Bro is in Texas tonight and live posted about 1,800 videos of the same church sermon in Texas. The young man and woman singing in the video were quite good, I thought. 

I've been seeing posts on my facebook about the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile taking applications for drivers and thought of Bro Ween, but then thought he also probably wouldn't want to be so tied down with a paying job. Unless he could preach from the Wienermobile...

[Pecansforeveryone]

@PumaLover, I hope Arizona was great! What's going on in Flagstaff right now? 

Same old brother Gary, yeah same old brother Gary.

[PumaLover]

11 hours ago, Pecansforeveryone said:

@PumaLover, I hope Arizona was great! What's going on in Flagstaff right now? 

Same old brother Gary, yeah same old brother Gary.

Flag was great! It had just snowed before we got there so I definitely enjoyed that. We went to go walk on the frozen lake (carefully!) and then went ice skating at their rink. We also got a little sledding in, and we cleaned up the broken sleds that the flatlanders leave behind. Same thing every year! My daughter loves to swim and I had been telling her about the indoor aquatic center. They have waterslides and everything. We had so much fun!

We visited the Grand Canyon which was so crowded due to the shut down. It was really weird seeing so many people there in the off season. The snow made it really beautiful though. And we got to see a park ranger/police officer yell at a group of tourists who blatantly ignored the NO TRESPASSING signs on a closed off area, so that was kind of funny.

I just got back from the big gem and mineral show in Quartzsite on Sunday. Met some new friends and had a great time and got some cool rocks. 

[mango_fandango]

Ok folks

I will NEVER get bored of rereading old Bro G Haw threads. I’m on thread 3, and one kind Sis (can’t remember who) linked to the Singing and Preaching page on the Hawkins Family Ministries site. I could only actually see two of the videos, but they were CLASSIC Bro Haw TALKIN REALLY LOUD HUH ITS THROUGH THE BLOOD HUH YOUR PREACHER WONT GET YOU SAVED HUH screaming craziness. 

If I was at church and the pastor started randomly screaming I’d get pretty damn worried. And probably wouldn’t go there again.

 

Spoiler

http://hawkinsfamilyministries.org/index.php/preaching-and-singing

 

Sis mango_fandango

[catlady]

Ok, folks, this evening the WeenMan is saying “I serve and awesome God.”  He serves, I get that. But how in the name of Rufus does one awesome God?

[mango_fandango]

Just be in awe of him? Who knows with Bro Gary...

[Dandruff]

49 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

If I was at church and the pastor started randomly screaming I’d get pretty damn worried. And probably wouldn’t go there again.

Sounds like a reason why Bro keeps hitting the road.

[Lisafer]

8 hours ago, PumaLover said:

Flag was great! It had just snowed before we got there so I definitely enjoyed that. We went to go walk on the frozen lake (carefully!) and then went ice skating at their rink. We also got a little sledding in, and we cleaned up the broken sleds that the flatlanders leave behind. Same thing every year! My daughter loves to swim and I had been telling her about the indoor aquatic center. They have waterslides and everything. We had so much fun!

We visited the Grand Canyon which was so crowded due to the shut down. It was really weird seeing so many people there in the off season. The snow made it really beautiful though. And we got to see a park ranger/police officer yell at a group of tourists who blatantly ignored the NO TRESPASSING signs on a closed off area, so that was kind of funny.

I just got back from the big gem and mineral show in Quartzsite on Sunday. Met some new friends and had a great time and got some cool rocks. 

Why was it more crowded at the Grand Canyon because of the shutdown? Pardon me if this is a stupid question. It's late and my thinker is broke, haymayun.

[MarblesMom]

Ok folks, apparently Bro G-Haw was live again on FB.  Highlights:

He has man boobs and a nip, clearly visible thru his Nike T shirt. 

He refers to the church bulletin as a "lagenda" before someone off camera tells him it is an "agenda." 

Abortion is not legal (apparently no law is legal if God didn't say so).  So I guess having no speed limits, or laws against murder, trespassing, robbery etc is fine with him.

THE BEST PART: he has to end the video when his phone goes off, repeatedly, with General Lee's Dixie Horn.  If you are not familiar:  

 

[Beermeet]

After watching Bro's moob video, I want to start a all female punk band called " Heavens Jubilee "!!!  I need to get me one of them Jubilees in heaven for sure. 

[mango_fandango]

I was rereading the last thread (hadn’t seen all the posts) and someone mentioned being able to compile a Gary Hawkins alphabet.

Ahem...

Spoiler

A is for Awful

B is for Borned Agin

C is for Cornbread Milks

D is for Dumbass 

E is for Eww

F is for Fail

G is for GOOD PREACHIN 

H is for HAYMAYUN! 

I is for Illiterate 

J is for Joory

K is for KING JAMES BIBLE

L is for the LORD

M is for Money

N is for NU Skin

O is for Ok folks

P is for Paprotsy

Q is for Quite Ridiculous 

R is for Robto

S is for Supper Bowel

T is for Tent

U is for Uneducated 

V is for Video 

W is for WEENS!

X is for Xenophobe

Y is for Yelling

Z is for Zero (Talent)

Some letters have alternatives. Some were quite difficult. It took me longer than it should have done to think of a word for K... 

[MarblesMom]

Halleluyer @mango_fandango... we needed this!  Brilliant!

[smittykins]

I would’ve gone for Toothpasta.

[mango_fandango]

That’s true, toothpasta would’ve been better than tent. I don’t think Gary himself said it though, wasn’t it a commenter? They’re all as illiterate as each other.

[Carol]

As if we needed any more proof that Gary's life is a cartoon.  The end of this video says it all.

That dirty white t-shirt, the messy hotel room, uncombed hair, jabbering incoherently... everything about him is disgusting.

I'll bet his farts are beyond foul, too.

[keepercjr]

Ol bro. Gary is in need of a bra for those moobs.  The HAYMAN in the middle of his abortion speech was just bizarre.  This is his smug face when he was saying that if you have a home church God will not be pleased

Spoiler

 

Messy hotel room.  I was wondering how in the heck they could afford a hotel but he says Becky cooked food for 200 people so maybe it was paid for.  How they will afford housing in Texas till mid March like he says in the video is anyone’s guess

Spoiler

 

[thoughtful]

23 hours ago, MarblesMom said:

He refers to the church bulletin as a "lagenda" before someone off camera tells him it is an "agenda." 

Maybe he was trying to grift a motorcycle:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yamaha_Lagenda

 

[Dandruff]

2 hours ago, keepercjr said:

I was wondering how in the heck they could afford a hotel but he says Becky cooked food for 200 people so maybe it was paid for.

I wonder how much of it he ate.