Chelsy and John Maxwell 6: They're More Frightened of Her than Ashamed

[nelliebelle1197]

8 hours ago, Captain Obvious said:

I don't think that's it. I just checked a couple of the churches that are hosting them on this current tour and the performances are both advertised as free concerts with 'love offerings' taken. I can't imagine those love offerings are going to be enough to make massive profits from, given that the churches they play at are often fairly small, not megachurches. They probably get enough from those offerings to cover their travel expenses, but that's it. 

I think their focus would be on CD sales and selling CDs at their performances. Because - trying to get into a fundie mindset here - given fundies don't tend to have that much money, I think that they'd see paying money for a concert to be frivolous, but they wouldn't have concerns about going to a free concert at a church, since that is more of a 'fellowship opportunity' (and the Bontragers can justify it as a ministry performance rather than a money-making opportunity). And buying a CD would be less frivolous, because it's not like there's heaps of CDs fundies can buy, and a CD has more 'value' because you can play it again.

So the Bontragers rely on people turning up because it's free, and then being won over by their Inspiring Message and Good Looking Young People and then forking out for the CDs.

 

Churches also sometimes pay a small fee for entertainers as well if they are a draw.

[nastyhobbitses]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Allison posted about a baby splash. I thought small baby showers were called sprinkles. Do we really need another name for a fucking shower? Anyway I am kind of hoping it was a Bontragers only affair. If it was NYE then the Maxwell’s were likely busy praying and crying all evening. And no one wants that at a “splash.”

If I ever get pregnant, I want a baby tsunami. 

[PennySycamore]

@JermajestyDuggar, you asked if we needed another word for "baby shower".  No, we do not.   

That kitchen needs some curtains or art on the wall or something.  It's dreary!

[SPHASH]

That baby splash post from Allison's Instagram is gone now.  Hi Coward Steve!

[HerNameIsBuffy]

20 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

@JermajestyDuggar, you asked if we needed another word for "baby shower".  No, we do not.   

That kitchen needs some curtains or art on the wall or something.  It's dreary!

you're trying to shame me into putting up curtains in my kitchen, aren't you?

it's working 

[JermajestyDuggar]

41 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

@JermajestyDuggar, you asked if we needed another word for "baby shower".  No, we do not.   

That kitchen needs some curtains or art on the wall or something.  It's dreary!

They still haven’t put up the trim in the kitchen and living room. And they are still using paper blinds. I thought they would work on the kitchen backsplash next since they recently put in the new window above the kitchen sink. I kind of figured that’s what they were waiting for. But Chelsy is very pregnant so I imagine she’s tired and maybe doesn’t have the energy to help John tile. I wish I knew them in real life so I could be like, “you guys really want to finish up some projects before the baby gets here. Maybe ask your 3 bored sisters in love for help. Hint hint.”

[Tatar-tot]

I am surprised his brothers don’t come over and wrap up some of this stuff for them.  

[mhainlen]

Could “Baby Splash” be their nickname for the baby? It read something about a “quick trip to see my sis/brother-in-law/baby splash.” Not a “quick trip to see my sis/brother-in-law for their baby splash.” I have a lot of friends who have given their fetuses little nicknames like “Edamame” and “Nugget.” Maybe they chose “Splash”?

[PennySycamore]

@JermajestyDuggar, the lack of trim may very well be the problem.  The kitchen just looks unfinished and lacking.  

@HerNameIsBuffy,  I don't have curtains in my kitchen either nor will I once we renovate the kitchen in a few months.  I will try to keep the scalloped wooden valance over the sink window though and I wouldn't mind some good old-fashioned cafe curtains over the window on the door.  There won't be any curtains in the Florida room either, but there will be blinds (good ones, I hope) as sometimes I need to dampen the sunlight.  (My granddaughter with albinism is very photosensitive.)  We lived in one apartment years ago where we had no curtains -just blinds- over the casement windows.  I did love that look.

[theologygeek]

16 hours ago, Captain Obvious said:

I don't think that's it. I just checked a couple of the churches that are hosting them on this current tour and the performances are both advertised as free concerts with 'love offerings' taken. I can't imagine those love offerings are going to be enough to make massive profits from, given that the churches they play at are often fairly small, not megachurches. They probably get enough from those offerings to cover their travel expenses, but that's it. 

I think their focus would be on CD sales and selling CDs at their performances. Because - trying to get into a fundie mindset here - given fundies don't tend to have that much money, I think that they'd see paying money for a concert to be frivolous, but they wouldn't have concerns about going to a free concert at a church, since that is more of a 'fellowship opportunity' (and the Bontragers can justify it as a ministry performance rather than a money-making opportunity). And buying a CD would be less frivolous, because it's not like there's heaps of CDs fundies can buy, and a CD has more 'value' because you can play it again.

So the Bontragers rely on people turning up because it's free, and then being won over by their Inspiring Message and Good Looking Young People and then forking out for the CDs.

 

The church pays.  The entertainment is a draw for the host.  No different from free concerts at the local fair, the town green, at the casino, or anywhere.  The host pays the band.  

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 hour ago, PennySycamore said:

@JermajestyDuggar, the lack of trim may very well be the problem.  The kitchen just looks unfinished and lacking.  

@HerNameIsBuffy,  I don't have curtains in my kitchen either nor will I once we renovate the kitchen in a few months.  I will try to keep the scalloped wooden valance over the sink window though and I wouldn't mind some good old-fashioned cafe curtains over the window on the door.  There won't be any curtains in the Florida room either, but there will be blinds (good ones, I hope) as sometimes I need to dampen the sunlight.  (My granddaughter with albinism is very photosensitive.)  We lived in one apartment years ago where we had no curtains -just blinds- over the casement windows.  I did love that look.

I was just teasing .  I've been procrastinating that for years!

[SassyPants]

Aren’t sprinkles generally given for 2, 3... pregnancies/ babies?  Why wouldn’t she being having a full on shower? The use of “ splash” makes me think it’ s just their cutesy name for a shower. 

[Jana814]

I have a client who’s daughter had twin girls (babies 2 & 3) back in July 2016. They were completely unexpected their are no twins in either sides of the family. She had a huge second baby shower, & she got a ton of stuff for 2 kids. She had wanted a small one & their friends & family really went all out for her. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

Aren’t sprinkles generally given for 2, 3... pregnancies/ babies?  Why wouldn’t she being having a full on shower? The use of “ splash” makes me think it’ s just their cutesy name for a shower. 

I hope she used splash because it was just a small get together without Maxwell’s. They really don’t need to include them in everything just because they all live within a mile of one another. 

[nastyhobbitses]

41 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I hope she used splash because it was just a small get together without Maxwell’s. They really don’t need to include them in everything just because they all live within a mile of one another. 

If I were Chelsy, I would throw fundie ragers like every week and always invite the Maxwells as a form of reverse psychology: if Steve enjoys himself too much, he'll stop going and leave me the hell alone. 

[SassyPants]

Has Chelsey even had a shower that we know of? Isn’t the baby due in like 3 weeks?

[Lisafer]

17 hours ago, theologygeek said:

The church pays.  The entertainment is a draw for the host.  No different from free concerts at the local fair, the town green, at the casino, or anywhere.  The host pays the band.  

That's sometimes true at a larger church. In my experience, small churches don't pay. The performers count on the "love offering" and CD sales, as previous posters said. If anything, the church or main pastor provides a meal for the performers.

[JermajestyDuggar]

32 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Has Chelsey even had a shower that we know of? Isn’t the baby due in like 3 weeks?

Chelsy rarely posts anymore. And when she does, it’s a huge photo dump. So we can’t go by her. Allison has not posted anything except the “splash” comment on Instagram. The Maxwell’s share what they want. So they could have thrown her a shower recently and it isn’t in the blog schedule for another week or so. 

[Themanda Duggar]

9 hours ago, SassyPants said:

Has Chelsey even had a shower that we know of? Isn’t the baby due in like 3 weeks?

Baby showers aren’t something everyone does.  I didn’t let anyone have one for me, and going to them makes me uncomfortable.  I am the first first-born child in memory to survive in my maternal line.  My grandfather had to rush home, after my grandmother had been sedated, to get rid of all the baby stuff they had when their first baby died immediately following his birth.  I have 2 friends who had stillborn babies, who then had to face all of their accumulated baby gear.  I am so much more comfortable going to a welcome baby event for a baby that is already here.  When I’ve felt like I had to go to someone’s shower, I’ve always brought a totally impersonal gift.  Once the baby has been born I send something I’ve made or purchased with that particular baby in mind.

when I was getting ready to have my baby, I only had the bare minimum of stuff for her in advance.  I know it’s superstitious, but I feel like it’s challenging the universe to celebrate a child who isn’t here yet.

[Ozlsn]

@Themanda Duggar I didn't have one either, mostly because I ended up having a high risk pregnancy and a quite premature baby. I was glad I didn't have anything ready because coming home to baby stuff while he was intensive care and unstable - or even when he was stable but just taking for-freaking-ever to progress - would have been excruciating. (I have to admit to being the person at the shower calculating what level of care the baby will need if it comes that night - there is a reason I am very quiet at these things! I also avoid telling my pregnancy story - give me a stupid baby shower game to play and I'm much happier.)

[ophelia]

On 1/3/2019 at 1:46 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

And I think Chelsy needs her family there more than they need to be there. I imagine Chelsy wants her bff sister to be there and her mother. But they will be on tour and will be for months after. So that makes me sad for Chelsy. 

It also makes me sad for her and I really hope that she is as close to Elissa and Melanie as it sometimes seemed to be in her postings. I could not imagine having Terified or one of the female Maxwell kidults having around me after giving birth.

[Foudeb]

4 hours ago, Themanda Duggar said:

Baby showers aren’t something everyone does.  I didn’t let anyone have one for me, and going to them makes me uncomfortable.  I am the first first-born child in memory to survive in my maternal line.  My grandfather had to rush home, after my grandmother had been sedated, to get rid of all the baby stuff they had when their first baby died immediately following his birth.  I have 2 friends who had stillborn babies, who then had to face all of their accumulated baby gear.  I am so much more comfortable going to a welcome baby event for a baby that is already here.  When I’ve felt like I had to go to someone’s shower, I’ve always brought a totally impersonal gift.  Once the baby has been born I send something I’ve made or purchased with that particular baby in mind.

when I was getting ready to have my baby, I only had the bare minimum of stuff for her in advance.  I know it’s superstitious, but I feel like it’s challenging the universe to celebrate a child who isn’t here yet.

Oh I'm glad I'm not the only one! I don't want to know the sex, don't want baby stuff apart from the bare essentials, cant bring myself to think of the foetus as a real being, don't even want to choose names until we have a real living, breathing baby in our arms. I know it's extreme superstition but just can't help it. 

[LurkerOverThePond]

On 1/4/2019 at 2:49 AM, Tatar-tot said:

I am surprised his brothers don’t come over and wrap up some of this stuff for them.  

But they are so crazy busy all.the.time! 

[Lady Grass Lake]

From experience, going in and removing all the baby stuff in the case of a bad outcome, is not the best thing to do.  My first baby lived 20 hours, and my husband's family came in and packed everything up, so I came home with no baby and no baby stuff.    That totally messed up my head.  No one wanted to talk about it either, so I did not grieve normally.  I think having to face the baby stuff, and packing it away would have been cleansing in the long run.  It would be better to be there when the mom comes home, take care of her, and offer to help put things away, let her cry, cry with her, talk with her, and help her heal.  

[PennySycamore]

@Lady Grass Lake,  I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. And you should have had the chance to talk about the loss and to put away her/his things.  Years ago, people thought that it helped to ignore a loss of a baby, but we know now that isn't so.