Lori Alexander 57: The Wisdom and the Folly

[Free Jana Duggar]

Lori must be behind on her reading here. She finally addressed the fires. We have been talking about her not mentioning them for a while now.

[Loveday]

1 hour ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

Lori must be behind on her reading here. She finally addressed the fires. We have been talking about her not mentioning them for a while now.

And she's calling the fires 'God's wake-up call.' I wonder if she'd call them that if flames were licking their way across her lawn, headed straight for her front door? 

[ladyicantxplain]

12 minutes ago, Loveday said:

And she's calling the fires 'God's wake-up call.' I wonder if she'd call them that if flames were licking their way across her lawn, headed straight for her front door? 

Oh, no, no, no. She didn't.  Tell me she did not say that or quote someone who teaches that crap.

Now I've gotta go see it.   God help me to refrain from TEARING HER UP online...

This is the kind of crap that I have to undo DAILY when loving on mamas of special needs kids, and mamas of dead babies, and mamas who were abused...yeah, God's "wake up calls" when tragedy strikes?

NO.  A thousand times NO.

[Loveday]

1 minute ago, ladyicantxplain said:

Oh, no, no, no. She didn't.  Tell me she did not say that or quote someone who teaches that crap.

Now I've gotta go see it.   God help me to refrain from TEARING HER UP online...

This is the kind of crap that I have to undo DAILY when loving on mamas of special needs kids, and mamas of dead babies, and mamas who were abused...yeah, God's "wake up calls" when tragedy strikes?

NO.  A thousand times NO.

Sadly, yes, yes she did. Well, it's a quote from Joni Eareckson Tada, but still. ?

 

[ladyicantxplain]

It is going to be really hard to get this to come out right online, so forgive me in advance.  Because I mean no offense to Joni E. Tada.  

But one of the reasons Lori loves to quote Joni is because Joni has adopted this view of God as One who gives "bad" gifts (sickness, pain, tragedy, disability)....so that she can explain her own problems. I have read a ton of what people quote of Joni, and it is mostly the same stuff. God "allowed" this tragedy or that tragedy to BRING SUCH GOOD in the person's life...blah, blah, blah.

Baloney.

Garbage theology.

God does NOT AUTHOR BAD GIFTS.

God does NOT USE EVIL to teach His children.

God does NOT START FIRES to kill people so that other people will "wake up."

Would you let anyone near your children who employed BULLIES to "teach them" or "cause them to wake up"?  No.  I would not let a "god" like that near my children's minds, either. 

Religious abusive crap.

I should edit to add that back when I was in ALCR, there was MUCH ongoing discussion and debate about Joni E. Tada amongst the women and Lori.  Lori vehemently defends Joni's theological position regarding tragedy.  I do not.  

[older than allosaurs]

8 minutes ago, ladyicantxplain said:

It is going to be really hard to get this to come out right online, so forgive me in advance.  Because I mean no offense to Joni E. Tada.  

But one of the reasons Lori loves to quote Joni is because Joni has adopted this view of God as One who gives "bad" gifts (sickness, pain, tragedy, disability)....so that she can explain her own problems. I have read a ton of what people quote of Joni, and it is mostly the same stuff. God "allowed" this tragedy or that tragedy to BRING SUCH GOOD in the person's life...blah, blah, blah.

 

A lot of hard news has been swirling around our house this week. Our sweet old dog has come to the end of his road and will be euthanized tomorrow. The grandchildren came by to say good-bye to him and I can feel them trying to understand. A good friend visited and told me she has Parkinson's. Another old friend just got an end-stage pancreatic cancer diagnosis, a friend of one daughter just lost her teenage son to suicide, and a friend (and former student of mine) of the other daughter died, a few weeks after his cancer diagnosis. The California fires and the refugee caravans are breaking my heart. I used to live in Glen Ellen, where so much was lost last year, and I have good memories of a visit to Paradise years ago.

It occurs to me that if I were Lori, none of this would upset me because it's not happening to me personally. It also occurs to me that if  I thought all this was a chance for God to provide a preview of hell, so I can change my sinful ways in time, I would be in a lot of spiritual trouble right now.

[Evangeline]

13 hours ago, Katzchen24 said:

Ah... I didn't know that. ? That's what happens when a (relative) newbie jumps into a conversation without knowing the full background. I haven't read all of the previous threads. I don't have the internal fortitude for the full 57 as she makes me so angry with her terrible advice on being the perfect doormat.

No one would expect you to know all the details but here's a rule of thumb when discussing Lori. If she insists women should do something, there's about a 99.99% chance she did not or does not do that thing herself. 

Lori conveniently decided that women should do all the housework, homeschool, do all the cooking, have as many babies as possible, have sex whenever their husbands want, be cheerful about their poverty, and never nag their husbands, after most of it was moot. 

Lori:

-Had and has a housekeeper

-"Homeschooled" for a couple of middle school years by having her kids read and going to the beach

-Has always made salads instead of cooking hearty food for her family

-Had only four children 

-Denied her husband sex for many years, obviously still does not enjoy it and spends as little as "10 minutes and some lube" every second or third morning to keep her husband off her back

-Was clearly very unhappy before Ken made them wealthy and begrudged him the time and effort it took him to make the money she now enjoys

-Nagged and complained to Ken so much he sure never minded being away and threatened to divorce her

BUT! Don't let this list make you feel sorry for Ken. He's a misogynistic, privileged, utterly stupid and pervy man who thinks he's a victim of women, minorities and liberals. And of course Lori. I may give him that one but that's all he gets from me. 

[lilwriter85]

On 11/17/2018 at 10:35 AM, Alisamer said:

I'm beginning to think Lori has some major financial hold on him, or knows some dirt that could lose him contact with the kids, or something. There's literally no reason whatsoever for him to stay with her otherwise. I'm not saying he's a nice guy, because he's not. But he could easily dump her lazy butt and within a year be happily married to some other wealthy divorcee or widow who doesn't look like an old handbag, isn't sociopathic, and who actually enjoys sex. 

I have wondered about that as well. There has been speculation on FJ that Ken has avoided divorcing Lori because they live in a community property state. I could see that and also Lori having financial hold on him as reasons to why he hasn't divorced her. 

As for some kind of dirt, I can see Lori knowing something and using it against Ken which could mess with him personally or professionally. I've sometimes wondered if Ken had an affair with some woman he knew through his business and that's one of the reasons Lori hates working women so much.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

On 11/15/2018 at 12:15 PM, Sarah92 said:

I need to find a good bra place

I always have good luck with Lane Bryant and Torrid for bras. Many many sizes and styles and they don't look like white utility unsexy underwear. I find Torrid jeans, again many many sizes and styles, fit well and last forever.

Old Navy curvy jeans are also made for the bootlicious woman. Depending on your size and shape sometimes the ON regular women's size XXL shirts and jackets fit better that the plus sizes.

If you are in the mood to spend a little more J Crew now has extended sizes in many things up to 24/ 3X.  Yes they are somewhat pricey, but the good news is there are frequent sales, with more off if you are a member of J Crew Rewards, which also earns you points and a quarterly reward bonus to spend. 

[older than allosaurs]

I'm doing some research on women's suffrage and ran across this.  I wonder what the the writer would think of Lori.

Labor Journal (Everett, Washington) of November 4, 1910:

"If You Were a Girl Worker"

"No woman in silks and satins, whose only care is how she may keep her social light burning brighter than her rival's has any right to stand in the way of the rights of the woman who toils." And regarding widows with children who often lost not only the breadwinner but their inheritance: "No woman, whose home interests are well cared for, has any right to stand in the way of the rights of the woman who has carried her mate to the grave."

Washington state women got the vote that year (for local and state elections), which makes me proud to be a Washingtonian.

 

[Hane]

@Sarah92, if Olga stops making style 35002, I’m going to jump out a window. It’s the one style I can always count on to fit me perfectly.

[EowynW]

Lori talks a good game about making frugal stuff from home or healthier versions of things, but she never does it. 

I learned how to make 3 ingredient lotion bars today. Healthy, frugal and a good gift. 

In case anyone is interested:

Weight out 3 equal parts of coconut oil, shea butter & beeswax, combined and melted in a double boiler and poured into mold or tin.

 I added 10 drops of lavender EO (plant therapy brand) after I took off the heat. They harden in a couple hours and tada! The heat of your hands melts them while you rub and hold them. I'm so in love with them. 

[Hane]

@EowynW, thank you! I tried something similar with coconut oil and sugar to make a body scrub.

[Sarah92]

So what I'm getting from this picture is that women need to earn love from their families while men should simply be oven respect. But wait, if a dad works does that means he misses out on earning the love of his family? If it happens to a woman when she works it stands to reason that it happens to a man as well. So once again Lori is telling us she cares fuck all about dads and that women need to earn love. 

Also thanks for the recommendations! I'll have to try these places to find a bra. Before they were always out of my budget but I can probably afford them now! Also Old Navy shirts and dresses are life, their XXL fits very nicely.  Their swing dresses are sooo comfy and versatile. 

I don't even know what to say to Lori's post about the fire. Joni seems like a nice lady but what is it about these types that make them want to bring up judgement and hell when this occurs? Or the coming end times for that matter? Of course I have a whole rant on how American, ethnocentric those discussions tend to be but I'll pass on that today. Why can't they take the approach of sitting with people in the ashes and mourning with those who mourn? 

[Katzchen24]

11 hours ago, Evangeline said:

No one would expect you to know all the details but here's a rule of thumb when discussing Lori. If she insists women should do something, there's about a 99.99% chance she did not or does not do that thing herself. 

 

@Evangeline thank you very much for the summary. It just makes me even more ? ?

[luv2laugh]

I am clearly behind on Poor Lori.  Does she STILL have a housekeeper? Where does she say this and WHY????

Lori aren't you supposed to be the one to show us heathens how you are such a perfect KEEPER OF THE HOME?!?!

@EowynW Can you give me the exact recipe to that? I'd like to try making it for gifts.

[EowynW]

5 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

@EowynW Can you give me the exact recipe to that? I'd like to try making it for gifts.

You will need a digital food scale to weigh with.  You want an equal part of Beeswax, Shea Butter & Coconut Oil. The person who taught it to me said there's no exact measurements because it depends on the size of the batch you are making. You just want every part to be equal. I would start with 1.5 oz of each. That's what I plan to start with with my holiday gift bar batch. So far I've just done a tin and candy molds. 

I bought beeswax pellets and shea butter off of Amazon. And just used the coconut oil I had on hand already. 

Beeswax melts at a higher temperature than the butter & oil so you want to melt that in your double boiler first then turn the heat down and add the other two. Whisk or stir until everything is melted and blended. Have your molds ready because this sets up quickly once it is taken off the heat. I take mine off the heat and add the EO I want if I want to use it. You don't have to scent it at all but if you do, you don't want to add EO during the cooking process because the oils just evaporate off. For a bar size batch I plan on starting with 30 drops of EO. Give a quick stir then pour into your molds and let sit for a few hours. 

And that's it.   

My bar batch for the holidays I plan on subbing coco butter in place of shea butter and using peppermint EO. I'm going to try for a peppermint chocolate vibe. I did a white chocolate peppermint whipped body butter last winter for us that was so divine. 

[Koala]

Wow, Lori.  Mocking women with disabled husbands / disabled men for not "working hard and providing for their families"? Taking it to a new low, I see.

It's okay, honey.  At this point people probably just feel sorry for you.  I mean, how pathetic- a woman who sees her husband as nothing more than a walking paycheck & had to be taught to love her own children.  

Bless your heart...

[Imrlgoddess]

12 minutes ago, Koala said:

Wow, Lori.  Mocking women with disabled husbands / disabled men for not "working hard and providing for their families"? Taking it to a new low, I see.

It's not like life happens or anything.  Obviously these women just married incapable men so they'd have an excuse to go find some ungodly job and go against God's Lori's advice.  

[Sarah92]

No yah knucklehead, it just means that God's word has more nuisance and that keepers of the home does not and never has trapped a women only at home. Also good way to dismiss individual realities of disability and illnesses. 

[Alisamer]

21 minutes ago, Koala said:

Wow, Lori.  Mocking women with disabled husbands / disabled men for not "working hard and providing for their families"? Taking it to a new low, I see.

It's okay, honey.  At this point people probably just feel sorry for you.  I mean, how pathetic- a woman who sees her husband as nothing more than a walking paycheck & had to be taught to love her own children.  

Bless your heart...

I bet she'd suggest that women who have been widowed should have chosen a different husband - healthier, with a safer job, or safer hobbies. I've actually heard someone suggest that before, and it sounds just like her.

And I don't think she really ever learned to love her children, or anyone else. Not with the way she passive-aggressively and very publicly attacks her daughters, or the way she fully admits she married Ken just because he clicked all the boxes on her checklist, or the way she stayed on vacation while her mother was dying.

[feministxtian]

This bitch better step back...my husband is disabled and I'm just fucking glad he's alive. Goddammit, I'd love to slap the everliving fuck out of her and her husband. 

[Coconut Flan]

29 minutes ago, Koala said:

Wow, Lori.  Mocking women with disabled husbands / disabled men for not "working hard and providing for their families"? Taking it to a new low, I see.

This one strikes a real chord with me.  I know a couple who has fallen into this pit.  She's perfectly capable except for this poisonous belief.  So for over five years, they've struggled to find a job that her husband can do and that will support them.  They have rejected all jobs that are solely for her.  They've done joint jobs or had him on SSI.   They could have a much better life if only they could get over this ridiculous belief.  He was disabled when she met and married him so I'm not sure what they were thinking expecting this to work out well.  She's trained as a teacher yet they tried to get him into the fifth year education program.  He couldn't pass the entrance test.  They tried 911 operator.  Again he couldn't make the standard.  So they expect handouts instead so they can follow their belief.  I used to wonder why her parents were so distant.  

[Koala]

27 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

my husband is disabled and I'm just fucking glad he's alive. 

My husband is not disabled, but if he were, I am 100% certain I would be fiercely protective of him, and sooooo very grateful to have him with me.

I can not imagine life without him.  Notice Lori, I said him.  His paycheck certainly makes our lives easier, but it means nothing to me without him. Nothing at all.  At the end of the day, the money could vanish before our eyes, and if I had him with me, I'd still be the luckiest woman on earth.

[feministxtian]

1 minute ago, Koala said:

My husband is not disabled, but if he were, I am 100% certain I would be fiercely protective of him, and sooooo very grateful to have him with me.

I can not imagine life without him.  Notice Lori, I said him.  His paycheck certainly makes our lives easier, but it means nothing to me without him. Nothing at all.  At the end of the day, the money could vanish before our eyes, and if I had him with me, I'd still be the luckiest woman on earth.

When he had his surgery, the odds went like this 1/3 - the surgery would go well and he'd recover. 1/3 - they'd find cancer and just close him up again. 1/3 - he'd die on the table. I was sitting in his truck after they took him into the OR and cried, screamed, yelled, and ended up puking up everything I'd eaten in the last 2 days over the ledge of the parking garage. Thank God one of my SAHM friends (mentioned on another board) lived in the same city and came and hung out with me. She took my mind off things by reminding me of all the goofy stuff from back in the day. 

Lori would sit her ass at home and continue her nasty screeds if faced with the same situation. FUCKING BITCH!