Maxwell 25: Pies, Cakes, Tarts, and Tortes

[libriatrix]

11 minutes ago, usedbicycle said:

Kind of off subject but this reminds me of an "inspirational" story in a Christian marriage book I read a long time ago. It was about elderly parents who went on an expensive vacation to Hawaii, and no one understood how they could afford it. They gathered their married kids to share their secret: since their wedding night, they put $1 in a jar every time they had sex. 

I found that to be so gross and disturbing! Can you imagine tipping the boat guy $10 and thinking, "There go 10 quickies while the kids were napping"! Not to mention giving the kids a mental image of their parents' thousands of sexual encounters. 

Wow, this is almost a BIll Gothard level of a bizarre, disturbing, and implausible anecdote used to guilt people.

[daisyjane1234]

Does anyone thing Teri's recent post is a tad depressing.  I don't focus on my firsts and lasts in the past because I am still pretty hopeful and excited about the future.  I don't obsess about looking back because I am looking forward.  Sure the important moments in my past I remember - my first date with my husband, my kids' births, special celebrations - they're important and I have documented them in someway - photos, scrapbooks, whatever. But I honestly don't care enough to document the first/last moments of minutiae of my life.   

[catlady]

1 hour ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

If a Maxwell daughter were to get married I think they'd be married by Steve in their own backyard.

Meatless burritos, box of animal crackers for the reception.  Just enough to serve half the people invited.

I went to a great wedding last summer, and on the appetizer table along with the fruits and cheeses was a big tray of animal crackers. Like three or four pounds of them. The hosts encouraged their guests to have as many as we wanted. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

17 minutes ago, catlady said:

a big tray of animal crackers. Like three or four pounds of them. The hosts encouraged their guests to have as many as we wanted. 

Clearly your hosts don't care where their guests go when they die.

30 minutes ago, daisyjane1234 said:

Does anyone thing Teri's recent post is a tad depressing.  I don't focus on my firsts and lasts in the past because I am still pretty hopeful and excited about the future.  I don't obsess about looking back because I am looking forward.  Sure the important moments in my past I remember - my first date with my husband, my kids' births, special celebrations - they're important and I have documented them in someway - photos, scrapbooks, whatever. But I honestly don't care enough to document the first/last moments of minutiae of my life.   

I think I understand her, although not her way of dealing with it.

I have my moments now where I get sad knowing the best part of my life is behind me and there isn't anything in the future for me to look forward to, except as a loving and excited mom to my kids as they have exciting life experiences.

I don't do the first/last thing but sometimes I have to remind myself I once had achievements and accomplishments ... that I was once more than what I am now.  I need to do it for me.

I just don't write it on a calendar or try to pass off my own emotional struggle as normal.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, daisyjane1234 said:

Does anyone thing Teri's recent post is a tad depressing.  I don't focus on my firsts and lasts in the past because I am still pretty hopeful and excited about the future.  I don't obsess about looking back because I am looking forward.  Sure the important moments in my past I remember - my first date with my husband, my kids' births, special celebrations - they're important and I have documented them in someway - photos, scrapbooks, whatever. But I honestly don't care enough to document the first/last moments of minutiae of my life.   

I try to do the same. I didn’t cry on my son’s first day of kindergarten. I took a picture. I try to live in the moment too. I’ve found some people in my age group act like they have to post every single milestone in their lives on Instagram. Every tiny thing. It’s so weird. Maybe that’s why the Maxwell’s are so obsessive about their blog. 

[CyborgKin]

On 11/9/2018 at 8:14 AM, Granwych said:

I just read a blurb from a reader of Sarah's latest literary offering--(paraphrasing here)  "another super book by Miss Maxwell-after each chapter l was left hanging!"   

This reader was a young teen (a boy!)  I'm pretty sure that he meant "anticipating the next one!"  

 

"Another stupefying book by Miss Maxwell - after each chapter I was left thinking someone ought to be hanged."

On 11/9/2018 at 7:59 AM, mango_fandango said:

To paraphrase Chandler Bing:

Could those bridesmaid dresses BE any more pink?? 

And I know it’s been mentioned on here before, but OF COURSE every album starts off with a photo of the church. Cuz that’s the most important thing. 

Heh, I recently attended a wedding which was held outdoors by a trout hatchery.  Beautiful spot, actually.

Natural splendour > any building

(and the reception was memorably because no one thought through meal plans enough to realise we'd obviously set off the smoke alarms within minutes of serving)

[sparkles]

Christopher’s photography…oy. It’s possible that he’s raised the bar a little but it was down on the ground to begin with. He’s really clueless. And is it just me or does the groom look like the love child of Rand Paul and Joel Osteen?

Those are some mighty pink dresses. Between those and the beauty pageant rejects the Rodrigues girls wore for Jill’s vow renewal, I don’t think I can ever look at that color again.

 

[SPHASH]

3 hours ago, usedbicycle said:

Kind of off subject but this reminds me of an "inspirational" story in a Christian marriage book I read a long time ago. It was about elderly parents who went on an expensive vacation to Hawaii, and no one understood how they could afford it. They gathered their married kids to share their secret: since their wedding night, they put $1 in a jar every time they had sex. 

I found that to be so gross and disturbing! Can you imagine tipping the boat guy $10 and thinking, "There go 10 quickies while the kids were napping"! Not to mention giving the kids a mental image of their parents' thousands of sexual encounters. 

I would call it fuck for a buck jar.

[OhNoNike]

Out of curiosity I tried to find the book that made the paid sex suggestion...  clearly I did not google the right thing. 

Spoiler

 

[fundiefan]

17 hours ago, daisyjane1234 said:

Does anyone thing Teri's recent post is a tad depressing.  I don't focus on my firsts and lasts in the past because I am still pretty hopeful and excited about the future.  I don't obsess about looking back because I am looking forward.  Sure the important moments in my past I remember - my first date with my husband, my kids' births, special celebrations - they're important and I have documented them in someway - photos, scrapbooks, whatever. But I honestly don't care enough to document the first/last moments of minutiae of my life.   

Last Monday it was in the 60's. I opened my windows. Based on the weather reports, when I closed the window I thought "well, that's the last time 'til Spring".  Yesterday, it snowed, so I was pretty on target with that thought. Should I have put it on my calendar? 

Focusing on the first or last of mundane aspects of life is a waste of life. Why would anyone need to remember the last time they did something they gave up (them watching tv)? Unless it's the last time you had a cigarette or went sober or gambled - bad/negative/harmful activity - NOT doing something isn't worth the time it takes to think about it. 

I think she obsesses about this stuff because the tiny things in her existence are all she has control over. Plus, their lives are obsessively scheduled and predictable, I suppose thinking about the past is a change of pace and probably invokes a feeling or thought that is not programmed or forced. Natural emotion doesn't seem to be part of Maxhell life so as I've talked myself around this, I guess it makes sense she'd want to remember such things.

[Odd1Out]

I think Terie means she’s like to know the date they became superior to all other Christians. 

[usedbicycle]

14 hours ago, OhNoNike said:

Out of curiosity I tried to find the book that made the paid sex suggestion...  

I finally found it, the story was in Chicken Soup for the Couple's Soul, no wonder it was so gag-worthy! 

https://books.google.com/books?id=BPSZDWoieuUC&pg=PT27&lpg=PT27&dq=ann+landers+dollar+in+a+box&source=bl&ots=7UyQsMwCHm&sig=LMvtZvv0DxY53cXI60dCh1pyJlc&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjh97WmnMreAhWE3FMKHWcVB084ChDoATACegQICBAB#v=onepage&q&f=false

[OhNoNike]

That story was worse than I thought.  I know how I came about but I don’t need to know that much... The dads way of turning on mom was by saying he had a dollar in his pocket... and the kids got a metal box at marriage and we’re told the story, and “found it enchanting”.  Blech. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Just now, OhNoNike said:

That story was worse than I thought.  I know how I came about but I don’t need to know that much... The dads way of turning on mom was by saying he had a dollar in his pocket... and the kids got a metal box at marriage and we’re told the story, and “found it enchanting”.  Blech. 

Am I the only one who would have been insulted it was only $1?  I mean if I'm going to sell it I want market rate.

[OhNoNike]

8 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Am I the only one who would have been insulted it was only $1?  I mean if I'm going to sell it I want market rate.

I was thinking that, but it was their 50th?  The story sort of doesn’t check out, because in 50 years, $1 isn’t the same... and thus by the time you need to spend it, a vacation is much more expensive. 

[johnhugh]

Quote

Steve and I would like to know when we watched our last TV show.

They certainly watched ‘Dallas’ as I’ve never been able to get a blog comment past Stevie signed off Bobby & Pam E or John Ross & Sue Ellen. Though they were not ‘The Simpsons’ or ‘Neighbours’ fans ?

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 minute ago, OhNoNike said:

I was thinking that, but it was their 50th?  The story sort of doesn’t check out, because in 50 years, $1 isn’t the same... and thus by the time you need to spend it, a vacation is much more expensive. 

True, but even without inflation lets say 300 times a year x 50 is still 15k.  More than an enough for an amazing vacation and then some.  So they could still have a great vacay even if they fellowshipped less frequently.

[OhNoNike]

300 times a year....  this may be enter a thread drift, lol.  I don’t think we even managed that as a new couple (can’t say newlywed bc we’d lived together years before that, and we definitely fellowshipped before marriage).  

Honestly after reading this $1 for sex thing, I got to thinking how much we’d save for a vacation, so I’ve been doing some math. 

[sleepy_doggos]

Steve and I would like to know when we watched our last TV show.

They certainly watched ‘Dallas’ as I’ve never been able to get a blog comment past Stevie signed off Bobby & Pam E or John Ross & Sue Ellen. Though they were not ‘The Simpsons’ or ‘Neighbours’ fans [emoji1787]

 

 

I love you[mention=11862]Johnhugh[/mention].

 

[Palimpsest]

Yes.  We were really broke in our first year of marriage (39 years ago) and a dollar definitely bought more than it does today.  We probably couldn't have afforded to save $1 each time we made the beast with two backs and paid for birth control.

Anyway, why is it only a one way deal? 

Fundie Wife:  Hubby, dearest, I saved 29 cents today because chicken legs were on sale at the dollar store.  Is that enough for some sweet, sweet, fellowship tonight?

Fundie Husband:  No, no, my submissive petal.  You are offering me the apple of eternal damnation and no expensive vacation in 50 years when I'll need viagra to perform.  Absolutely no nookie unless you can save a whole dollar.  

"Because

Every fuck is paid for,
Every dollar saved.
If a fuck's a freebie,
We'll get quite depraved."

Sorry, Monty Python.

 

15 minutes ago, johnhugh said:

Though they were not ‘The Simpsons’ or ‘Neighbours’ fans 

Or Cliff Richard fans.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

11 minutes ago, OhNoNike said:

300 times a year....  this may be enter a thread drift, lol.  I don’t think we even managed that as a new couple (can’t say newlywed bc we’d lived together years before that, and we definitely fellowshipped before marriage).  

Honestly after reading this $1 for sex thing, I got to thinking how much we’d save for a vacation, so I’ve been doing some math. 

Yeah - my first husband and I had exactly one thing that worked in our marriage ... and it was that.

I was 28 before I realized not all married couples had sex every day and usually twice - I knocked down the number for what I thought would be more normal.  

[OhNoNike]

2 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Yeah - my first husband and I had exactly one thing that worked in our marriage ... and it was that.

I was 28 before I realized not all married couples had sex every day and usually twice - I knocked down the number for what I thought would be more normal.  

Ah yeah soo...  I had a first husband too and we definitely did it more frequently than my current husband and I do (but don’t tell him that lol).  But I also have a few kids and there are other factors like me having a full time job with long commute etc.  

Flipside is that if you talk fundie, it seems the women are always supposed to be ready whenever the man desires.... without a commute (but I’ll argue potentially even more tiring day with no outside job and with kids all day).  

[Palimpsest]

On 11/8/2018 at 5:38 PM, nomoxian said:

They've already been doxed.

They don't seem to have any problem putting their addresses and phone # out there.  In public.

I don't think they have ever been "doxed" here.  We have rules against that. 

[formergothardite]

7 hours ago, usedbicycle said:

I finally found it, the story was in Chicken Soup for the Couple's Soul, no wonder it was so gag-worthy! 

https://books.google.com/books?id=BPSZDWoieuUC&pg=PT27&lpg=PT27&dq=ann+landers+dollar+in+a+box&source=bl&ots=7UyQsMwCHm&sig=LMvtZvv0DxY53cXI60dCh1pyJlc&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjh97WmnMreAhWE3FMKHWcVB084ChDoATACegQICBAB#v=onepage&q&f=false

If my dad had come home and said he had a dollar in his pocket and my mom said she knew how to spend it I would have asked why it then it would have been a mortifying conversation. I would not have been enchanted if my parents gave me a box and told me to put money in it each time we had sex.

[Granwych]

On 11/9/2018 at 10:13 AM, usedbicycle said:

Teri, I can't wait for you to document the wedding of a daughter! Now that would be a true first!

Teri should live so long.

10 hours ago, fundiefan said:

Last Monday it was in the 60's. I opened my windows. Based on the weather reports, when I closed the window I thought "well, that's the last time 'til Spring".  Yesterday, it snowed, so I was pretty on target with that thought. Should I have put it on my calendar? 

Focusing on the first or last of mundane aspects of life is a waste of life. Why would anyone need to remember the last time they did something they gave up (them watching tv)? Unless it's the last time you had a cigarette or went sober or gambled - bad/negative/harmful activity - NOT doing something isn't worth the time it takes to think about it. 

I think she obsesses about this stuff because the tiny things in her existence are all she has control over. Plus, their lives are obsessively scheduled and predictable, I suppose thinking about the past is a change of pace and probably invokes a feeling or thought that is not programmed or forced. Natural emotion doesn't seem to be part of Maxhell life so as I've talked myself around this, I guess it makes sense she'd want to remember such things.

Christ, I'm lucky if I put our dr and dentist appointments on the calendar.

On 11/9/2018 at 3:31 PM, freethemall said:

But the real question is, if they serve Terri's favorite salad for a Maxwell daughter wedding, will we finally learn how they slice the lettuce with a pizza cutter??????

Only if we send a suitable gift.  (A Bible, of course.)