Dillards 65: Standard Cringe, New Atrocious Signage

[Bad Wolf]

Derick stood there with his arms folded, then put his hands in his pockets. Unapproachable. Izzy looked like he was trying to find the right answer to please mom.

[AtlanticTug]

Another grey recipe up on the blog. I am actually impressed she gets those kids to eat her food, there is no way on God's green earth that my 3-year-old would look at those "green" beans and put them in his mouth.

[sparklymagie]

12 hours ago, AprilQuilt said:

I don't understand why Jill can't take cues from her kids. Israel was so done ('bye. BYE.') but she just had to try to squeeze those 2 mins of content out of him. She's not gonna get cute moments out of those kids under duress, and this was frankly boring as hell to watch. If she had any concept of quality control she just wouldn't post it.

Jill is maybe a product of her upbringing.... 

[Snarkasarus Rex]

42 minutes ago, sparklymagie said:

Jill is maybe a product of her upbringing.... 

She’s just like Meechelle...emotionally detached from her kids and clueless to their needs.  The kids only get the recognition they crave when they play their trained monkey role correctly.

[MarblesMom]

I had to watch the video 3x and turn the audio up to make sure I understood what the kid was saying.

Is he worried about Mama not waking up and what will happen?!  Why is he bringing this up?

This brings me back to a family story where a mom was NOT waking up in the AM with the kids, and left them on their own to get it together and out the door.  They were MUCH older than 3.  I am a little concerned a 3 year old would bring this up.

Probably jumping the shark and boarding a certain bus, but it seems odd.

I'll be over here in the closet.  Bring snacks.

[SapphireSlytherin]

6 minutes ago, MarblesMom said:

Is he worried about Mama not waking up and what will happen?!  Why is he bringing this up?

I figured it was because suddenly Derick wouldn't be home all day/every day. It's a big change for Israel, not seeing his dad all the time.

Imagine, if you will, that Derick actually had a job and went to work every day - this conversation never would have happened, because Israel would understand that SOMEBODY has to leave to make money.

:::shrug:::

[Mama Mia]

7 hours ago, TheOneAndOnly said:

Jill is her father's daughter.

Oh I think JB, for the most part, comes across much more connected to his kids than that. Jill comes across even more detached than her mom. So strange.

[Audrey2]

My heart just breaks for Izzy... Even if he is a real handful (not sure if he is or not, but wouldn't take Jill or Derick's word for it), I wish he had different parents. I am close to a 3 1/2 year old (not mine), and I can't imagine ignoring and downplaying him like that.

[Shadoewolf]

Finally got around to watching the video. It looks really dark. Like dear Gods what time was that filmed? Derick does come off as unapproachable. Bend down talk to him on his level. When I'm reassuring my kiddos, even the big ones, I pull them close and side hug them. And jeez Jill, Izzy obviously isn't into it, leave the poor kid alone!! 

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

I love Izzy’s deep voice,  it reminds me of the old song 16 Tons by Merle Travis.  Merle had a really deep voice.  

[Kittikatz]

I don't particularly enjoy being around babies or small children (I'm more a fan of the 6+ crowd), and have almost zero experience with toddlers, but even I do better around wee ones than these two twits seem to be managing. It's especially sad if they are doing what most of us do and putting their best foot forward on social media - it makes me wonder how bad things are when Jill isn't trying to be an instamom. 

 

[mstee]

That video was so awkward. And sad. The fact that these two people come off as clueless as how to relate to their child is baffling. Jill spent many years raising her siblings and now raising her own and Derick has now been a father for a few years. They act in that video like the people I know who do not want kids and who do not know how to relate to kids. Poor Israel and Sam. They deserve better. 

[Fjrocks]

      Well I am over here on the edge of  my seat for the follow up video to find out how the morning routine actually goes down.

      Will #bestpapaever use 1% or 2 % milk??

      Will the Cheerios be regular or honey nut?

       What will he serve to make it part of a complete breakfast?!

      And,  brace yourself folks, I am about to suggest something pretty controversial... will #bestpapaever be one of those wild ones,  someone who pours the milk first and adds the cereal second!?

      

[Iamtheway]

10 hours ago, AtlanticTug said:

Another grey recipe up on the blog. I am actually impressed she gets those kids to eat her food, there is no way on God's green earth that my 3-year-old would look at those "green" beans and put them in his mouth.

I’m assuming you don’t hit your kid with a wooden spoon when he doesn’t eat your cooking though. That might sadly be the difference. 

[Firebird]

I feel like with her siblings Jill always had the option to be super invested with her buddies, but to step back and allow a different sibling or Michelle to step in when she needed a break and she always had other older siblings around for support. With Derrick she is completely alone. Her siblings all are married with their own kids (except Jana and she has all of her own siblings to care for.) She doesn't have the support she had before. She is probably physically and emotionally exhausted. We assume Derrick doesn't pitch in any support and is probably very critical and controlling of Jill. Jill has no resources and never learned coping mechanisms and is expected to be perfect. That's a very draining way to live.

[justoneoftwo]

I also wonder why he's worried about this. The only kids I know who are worried about their parents not getting up our kids of parents who are sick or had been sick and there was some reason why they might not get up. Otherwise it's kind of a strange thing to fear isn't it?

[artdecades]

3 minutes ago, justoneoftwo said:

I also wonder why he's worried about this. The only kids I know who are worried about their parents not getting up our kids of parents who are sick or had been sick and there was some reason why they might not get up. Otherwise it's kind of a strange thing to fear isn't it?

IDK, kids get weird ideas in their heads sometimes. 

[TZmom]

I don't really get what the big deal is in this video.  Maybe it's because my husband in not the type to bend down to the kids level, but I really don't see anything wrong with the way Derick was talking to Israel. As far as Jill, I know if I'm trying to make a video for the grandparents or something, my kids will occasionally run away and not do what they're asked. It's frustrating.  Israel seems absolutely fine, and happy.

I hate defending Duggars but I really feel like some of you are reading too much into this.

[nst]

i hated the video.  Ofjill is a jerk and he doesn't hide it and jill's demanding to izzy is just so wrong 

they need to stop doing these videos...who are they doing them for?  their non existent humpers 

[TheOneAndOnly]

I really hope that Jill isn't doing some sort of emotional abuse like telling the kid that he better appreciate her because one day she might not wake up "then what will you do, all on your own" kind of crap. If the video had stopped after Izzy had said bye and left the first time it would still have been odd, but Jill had to make it worse by  following him and pushing unimportant questions on him when he didn't want to be filmed. That Bye! and wave that he does is really cute but it shows he is being raised to be on TV. Maybe one day it will sink in to Jill that she isn't a TV star anymore and her kids aren't on TV at all. Pity we likely won't have video of the look on her face when it happens.

[Chewing Gum]

The video is bad. There’s another one from a few days ago where Derick wrestles with the kids JUST like Ben did, only Derick almost drops Israel in the last few seconds, when he tries to put him back to the ground. He’s just not strong I guess. 

[Carm_88]

I feel like Jill and Derick should be taking some cues from the kids on how to act with them. Derick just comes off as a jerk and an unapproachable one who wants nothing to do with Izzy and Jill is pushing him to say what Derick does. No one cares what Derick does. You're not convincing us that he's the best Papi ever.

[Snarkasarus Rex]

1 hour ago, TZmom said:

I don't really get what the big deal is in this video.  Maybe it's because my husband in not the type to bend down to the kids level, but I really don't see anything wrong with the way Derick was talking to Israel. As far as Jill, I know if I'm trying to make a video for the grandparents or something, my kids will occasionally run away and not do what they're asked. It's frustrating.  Israel seems absolutely fine, and happy.

I hate defending Duggars but I really feel like some of you are reading too much into this.

Sure, I’ve talked to my kids the way Derick has, but not while they were genuinely worried about something. Izzy is obviously worried, yet he never tries to console him.  And yes, kids run away all the time when you don’t want them to, that’s not the issue.  If she had laughed about it, and made some comment about kids being kids, that would have been relatable.  Instead, Jill chases after him and grills him until he gives the answers she wants.  I’m willing to bet she learned that one from Meechelle.  

This is the kind of video most parents would look at afterwards and think, ‘yeah, not a good video to post’.  However they posted it anyway, seemingly clueless to how it would be perceived.

I too prefer to refrain from reading into specific videos, but based on this and the other things they’ve posted, it’s their general lack of emotional intelligence that I find disturbing and worrisome.

[Audrey2]

I kind of wonder if Michelle had mornings that she took a longer lie in (to borrow our British friends' term- I love it!), and, seeing this growing up, Jill decides to stay in bed longer some mornings as well. We all know she can't do this as a mom, and that Michelle could only get away with it because she outsourced her kids to her daughters, but maybe Jill thinks not getting up is okay. If she has had days that she hasn't gotten up, I can see Israel spending those mornings hungry and needing help, so he may feel anxious that she won't get up.

I'm also presenting this theory because I've talked at length with a friends who had a mother like this.

If this were just one video, I wouldn't analyze it as much, but it seems like several videos have been posted and discussed showing how the Dillards interact with Izzy.

[bal maiden]

Derick’s body language is very telling. 

To hop on the ISB, this is my guess of the family dynamic: Derick is unhappy, grumpy and controlling, making Jill and the kids also unhappy, so Jill doubles down on trying to please him. This doubling down involves simpering, gushing praise of her headship, plus extra strictness with the kids to make them not further aggravate Derick (by being, you know, normal 3yo and baby...). Jill has no other emotional/relationship/parenting tools other than these approaches, so she tries harder and harder, stressfully getting nowhere, which kind of pisses Derick off even more, meaning that Jill is even stricter, and so on. My read on Israel’s behavior in that video is that he is one stressed out little kid. 

2 minutes ago, Audrey2 said:

I kind of wonder if Michelle had mornings that she took a longer lie in (to borrow our British friends' term- I love it!), and, seeing this growing up, Jill decides to stay in bed longer some mornings as well. We all know she can't do this as a mom, and that Michelle could only get away with it because she outsourced her kids to her daughters, but maybe Jill thinks not getting up is okay. If she has had days that she hasn't gotten up, I can see Israel spending those mornings hungry and needing help, so he may feel anxious that she won't get up.

I'm also presenting this theory because I've talked at length with a friends who had a mother like this.

Why can’t she have a lie in? I do about half the mornings a week - I’m up half the night with the baby, so my husband gets up with the kids and I catch up on sleep! (I have kids a similar age to the Dillards’)