Lori Alexander 53: Mourning Mom ... Maybe

[PennySycamore]

I meant to add this when we were talking about SAHM taking in mending and/or baking cakes, etc to bring in money.  It is my understanding that the home bakery business is more complicated that it used to be.  You can maybe have a very small business that operates under the health department radar, but if you attain any size, you'll need to either set up a commercial kitchen or declare your home kitchen a commercial kitchen.  It will need to pass periodic health inspections just as any other restaurant/commercial food producer would.  It ain't cheap!

[SilverBeach]

8 minutes ago, fluffy said:

I don't even know if a white guy would survive twenty years in Angola. 

What is this supposed to mean?

[Sarah92]

Yeah God might supposedly want people to have children but he also tells us to be wise. Wisdom says, I don't have the money to feed more children so I shouldn't have more. God has no problem calling out foolishness and bringing children you can possibly take care of into the world is foolishness. Wisdom also says, I don't have the emotional capacity to give 8 children the care and attention the need to flourish. 

Lori is essentially a prosperity gospel preacher. If you do this hard enough *ding* you get a prize from God in the form of provision! God doesn't always answer prayers in the way people think he should. So provision might look like a job opportunity rather than food materializing out of thin air for seven hungry children. 

[fluffy]

57 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

What is this supposed to mean?

I would not want anyone I loved, obviously black or white, to be sent to the men's penitentiary in Louisiana. The conditions are violent and dangerous. It is notorious prison. On top of it, this guy does not seem like he gets along with others very well. I think it would be a tough place to be.  I just looked up some facts about Angola and here is the tip of the iceberg: "Angola is the largest maximum-security prison in America, and most of its inmates are serving sentences for violent crimes." It is larger than the island of Manhattan. It is a prison farm, so essentially not that different than slave era (i.e. men work the fields and prison guards ride horseback and carry rifles). Very tough life. This guy is a skinny white guy. The prison population in Louisiana is 80% African American. It is not a place filled with hope. LA. is a violent and corrupt state. Not saying there aren't wonderful elements and people in Louisiana (I'm actually a huge fan of Louisiana in a lot of ways and have family from there), but it's notoriously corrupt. Just my gut feeling about going to prison there. Did not mean to offend anyone. 

Here is a quick piece by a law professor in N.O. on the topic of mass incarceration in Louisiana. It's a horrible and inhumane state of affairs. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/bill-quigley/louisiana-number-one-in-i_b_9888636.html

[cara]

14 hours ago, Liza said:

So, today, Lori is criticizing women on another  Facebook site who regret having children.  More poking your nose where it does not belong, and more demonstrating that you are intolerant, Lori, and not able to understand anyone/anything.  And, no, it has nothing to do with being an “unbeliever” … whatever that means in your narrow fundamentalist submissive mind.   Stop condemning people.  No, you cannot “teach” people to love their children.  It is something that comes quite naturally to most of us. 

And then comes the advice:  Quoting Lori  here:

  Reveal hidden contents

First of all, be diligent in training and disciplining them when they are young.. Make sure they understand “no” and obey you. Let them know that they aren’t the boss of the family. Deal with disobedience quickly and consistently. A few good spankings usually deal with this the most effectively. The faster you teach them self-control, the more you will enjoy being around your First of all, be diligent in training and disciplining them when they are young. While you are raising your children, you will be continually teaching them to make right choices. Make sure they understand “no” and obey you. Let them know that they aren’t the boss of the family. Deal with disobedience quickly and consistently. A few good spankings usually deal with this the most effectively. The faster you teach them self-control, the more you will enjoy being around your children.

No, your children don’t need to be constantly entertained by you or technology. Let them learn to entertain themselves. It will develop their imaginations. Don’t let them whine and complain. Make them sit in the “whining and complaining” chair quietly for ten minutes every time they whine or complain. Do this consistently. It’s your responsibility to teach and train your children to be self-disciplined adults in all areas of their lives.

When they are young, insist they all have naps or “quiet times” for two hours a day, then put them to bed early at night. Every mother needs some time to herself and rest if needed. You must not let your child to dictate his/her schedule. You must dictate it.

No, raising children is not easy but it is good. The narrow path that we are called to take isn’t the easy path. It’s the path that leads to life! Raise your children to be godly – to know God’s Word and obey it. Then you will find that your children are the gifts that keep on giving! As you are raising them, you are storing your treasures in heaven; the best place for treasures to be stored and you will not have one moment of regret for bringing them into this world.

Don’t let them whine and complain. Make them sit in the “whining and complaining” chair quietly for ten minutes every time they whine or complain. Do this consistently. It’s your responsibility to teach and train your children to be s

This  is a recipe for disaster.   I dis

elf-disciplined adults in all areas of their live.When they are young, insist they all have naps or “quiet times” for two hours a day, then put them to bed early at night. Every mother needs some time to herself and rest if needed. You must not let your child to dictate his/her schedule. You must dictate it.

 

 

 

It is all about control and there is nothing about love.  Raise automatons who obey upon command and then you will have “good children” whom you can love.  This is not love.  This is control and too many conditions placed on children ... if you submit to me and obey me in all things ... then I will love you.  NO, JUST NO.  Everything in my being screams out that this is wrong on so many levels.

Lori followed this perfect parenting formula to the letter but her daughter still wears yoga pants. So... does this mean she failed? 

[Koala]

1 minute ago, cara said:

Lori followed this perfect parenting formula to the letter but her daughter still wears yoga pants. So... does this mean she failed? 

I think you may have misunderstood.  

When Lori's daughter wears yoga pants, that = "Walking with Jesus"

When a waitress wears yoga pants, that = Lori standing between the waitress and Creepy Ken/Lori making a downright bizarre late-night video gossiping about her/the waitress HATING God and His perfect "ways"

[Imrlgoddess]

@fluffy its true that Angola ain't no joke, but this kid may or may not be in the section with the crazy violent criminals. There are levels to their internal system & the only reason it's heavy by one ethic group is because our state population is just naturally heavy that way. If he's staring at time there at all, he has done something far worse than just threaten a neighbor.

It's not a day camp but it is a tightly run ship that is totally self sustained-neither the cops nor the inmates screw around. Most know they'll never come out anyway.  They grow their own food & the rodeo bring in thousands every year. Most of them know not to jack with the only decent thing they have left.

 

[fluffy]

15 minutes ago, Imrlgoddess said:

it is a tightly run ship that is totally self sustained-neither the cops nor the inmates screw around. Most know they'll never come out anyway. 

lmrlgoddess, I do not mean to impugn your state prison and you are definitely right about these things. It was designed as a plantation and is still run that way today. I also agree with your statement that "most know they'll never come out anyway." That does lead to more violent prison populations. So, still a fan of Louisiana but can't get behind mass incarceration there or elsewhere. I'm also not at all disputing that this man deserves to be imprisoned. The only reason I wrote my diatribe (sorry for that) on Angola is because another member asked what I meant by the white guy surviving there. I should have simply written that I don't know about anyone surviving there for twenty years. Best wishes. (I mean that.) 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

5 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

I meant to add this when we were talking about SAHM taking in mending and/or baking cakes, etc to bring in money.  It is my understanding that the home bakery business is more complicated that it used to be.  You can maybe have a very small business that operates under the health department radar, but if you attain any size, you'll need to either set up a commercial kitchen or declare your home kitchen a commercial kitchen.  It will need to pass periodic health inspections just as any other restaurant/commercial food producer would.  It ain't cheap!

I don't know about other areas, but there are a few commercial kitchens in my area that are available to rent by the hour. I don't know how effective that would be for a baking business, where it's necessary to make new product every time. The people I know who used the rental kitchen made fresh salsa a few times a month, depending on demand. In a few hours, they had lots of salsa to sell at farmer's  markets and so on.

[squiddysquid]

16 hours ago, squiddysquid said:

I'm watching a Rocky Horror Picture special this weekend already know what Lori would think (although... Tim curry isnt wearing a thong )

I saw a guy in bright red thongs on a beach in France a couple of years back... not very flattering

What would Lori think of budgy smugglers? https://budgysmuggler.com.au/ (we talked about them in the John Shrader thread... long story )

@ladyicantxplain It was actually my mother (another female doctor...) who first watched the Rocky Horror Picture show with me during the CHristmas holidays (Mom: "A must-see classic, kid!")

She was right, listen to your parents!

"I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual! ,Transylvaniaaaaaaaaaaa!".

Lets defraud Lori some moooooore since we know she doesn't have the strenght and self-discipline to stay away from this page.

[Briefly]

8 hours ago, Imrlgoddess said:

 If he's staring at time there at all, he has done something far worse than just threaten a neighbor.

I was thinking that, too.  I always thought that it was more than just a small argument with the neighbor, a small argument would not have been treated like his case has.

Also - Bring on the Frankenfurter!  I love Rocky Horror.  And yes, I am one of those Moms who introduced her daughter to it as a classic she has to see!  She loved it, by the way.

[quiversR4hunting]

19 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

@SongRed7 and @quiversR4hunting y'all gotta call yourselves The Thong Patrol. Someone needs to document the evil thong wearers that are ruining our society. Don't forget to bring a Lori approved paddle to protect your eyes from those offending behinds.

@smittykins no thongs. Lots of runners, walkers (young and old) and beach yoga!!! Yoga was men and women. 

[wallysmommy]

I would love to do a side-by-side pic of Lori with her feet kicked up on the porch of her Door County lakeside cabin, and this family huddled in a basement in South Louisiana (which in itself is horrid because the water table is so high).  Lori would probably tell her that she must have committed some sin that she isn't richly blessed with a cabin, and that she should be thankful no matter what.  All the time Lori will be pecking at her computer, nibbling on her week old big salad. The picture would be like the Christmas Carol when the Ghost of Christmas Present shows Scrooge the starving children around him, except unlike Scrooge, Lori would be unrepentant and would just point out that they must have sinned.  

BTW, the husband's charge is attempted second degree murder.  

[Lgirlrocks]

Work stresses me out too. I would love to be a stay at home pup Mom. Unfortunately I don’t have that luxury. 

[Loveday]

Re: Rocky Horror. I would be very surprised if Lori hasn't seen it. She was in high school when it came out, probably a junior or senior. And then she was in college around the time it began playing at midnight all over the country. I don't think she was nearly as sheltered during that time as she'd like us to believe. She's seen it, and I bet she secretly loved it. 

[Frog99]

26 minutes ago, wallysmommy said:

I would love to do a side-by-side pic of Lori with her feet kicked up on the porch of her Door County lakeside cabin, and this family huddled in a basement in South Louisiana (which in itself is horrid because the water table is so high).  

Are they still in the basement? I saw an entry for mid-June that said the husband “confronted” the host about something. The host removed his name from the bond and had the husband put back in jail and asked her to leave. She posted that they have a new place “courtesy of” their “very kind church”. 

My heart breaks for those kids. Their parents don’t have good executive functioning skills. Put the kids in Head Start/public school (where they will likely get breakfast and lunch), use subsidized daycare for the ones too young for school, apply for TANF and other relevant benefits, and engage in some sort of educational or vocational training program that will ease some of the difficulties likely to be faced in raising 8 children. 

[EowynW]

11 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

I meant to add this when we were talking about SAHM taking in mending and/or baking cakes, etc to bring in money.  It is my understanding that the home bakery business is more complicated that it used to be.  You can maybe have a very small business that operates under the health department radar, but if you attain any size, you'll need to either set up a commercial kitchen or declare your home kitchen a commercial kitchen.  It will need to pass periodic health inspections just as any other restaurant/commercial food producer would.  It ain't cheap!

It's the same way with soapmaking. 

[ladyicantxplain]

42 minutes ago, EowynW said:

It's the same way with soapmaking. 

It is so important that y'all are bringing up the myriad regulations and restrictions and costs associated with these "sources of income" for the hypothetical young woman who doesn't want to go to college.  You can't just start a small business making lotions or soaps, or cooking pies and empanadas...it requires a lot of planning, a lot of research, a lot of space and a lot of MONEY!

I think this is why the nanny thing is thrown out there so often as what young women should do, while "under their headship", waiting for Prince Charming.  It costs nothing, or so it seems on the surface.  Really, though, it is a rare employer for the nanny who provides benefits, PTO, holiday pay, or even pays taxes.  The girl is left making very little money when it is all said and done, for a whole lot of work, unless she is working for an extremely wealthy couple who uses professionals to handle the business matters/taxes.  

I suppose the fundies believe this is good training for the young woman, since she will not be paid, or have any time off when she's a mother and managing her own household.

Baby sitting is just as wrought with regulations: if you want to make any money at all, keeping multiple children, licenses and educational classes and CE are required legally.  If the young woman is keeping multiple children at her home, under her father's roof, the children living there (younger siblings) will be factored into the licensing requirements and may prohibit her from babysitting at all as a business - legally.

It strikes me as just another way to brainwash a young woman into accepting poverty as a way of life, and financial dependence as normal and good.  I am all for SAHM's (I AM a SAHM now).  It is good and right.  It is also good and right for a woman to be able to provide for herself independent of any man, whether her father (if she is an adult) or her husband.  

None of these band-aid "businesses" will do this for a young woman who doesn't "want" to go to college.  

[klein_roeschen]

4 hours ago, squiddysquid said:

@ladyicantxplain It was actually my mother (another female doctor...) who first watched the Rocky Horror Picture show with me during the CHristmas holidays (Mom: "A must-see classic, kid!")

She was right, listen to your parents!

"I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual! ,Transylvaniaaaaaaaaaaa!".

Lets defraud Lori some moooooore since we know she doesn't have the strenght and self-discipline to stay away from this page.

The theatre group at my school did this as a play when I was in 8th grade, a male classmate was frank'n'furter, wearing a corsage, stockings and high heels

After visiting my favorite lake here nearby several times this summer, I never saw a woman wearing a thong. I saw a lot of people aged from children to people of Lori's age completly naked, but never a thong.

 

[louisa05]

You'd be surprised what you can get away with.

Sister-in-law has done all of the following without following regulations: 

Catering with no permit

Selling homemade meals made by someone with no food handler's permit

Making and selling lotions, body washes and scrubs without following any local or federal regulations

Paid no sales taxes on any of the above

Had someone in her business doing mani/pedis with no license

Lives above her business in violation of zoning

Shows movies and documentaries in her business to a paying audience without paying licensing fees

On top of all that, she has operated a business for over 15 years without paying employees, paying less than minimum wage or by paying them under the table to avoid paying payroll taxes or dealing with mandatory payroll deductions. 

And her toy boy sells art on the street without appropriate permits or paying sales tax. He has been approached by police. He leaves and comes back to a different location. 

Theoretically, these things are not legal. But what people actually get away with in plain sight can be ridiculous. I've also known plenty of women who have sold food and baked items out of their own kitchens without any attempt to follow health department and tax regulations. 

[CelticGoddess]

12 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

I meant to add this when we were talking about SAHM taking in mending and/or baking cakes, etc to bring in money.  It is my understanding that the home bakery business is more complicated that it used to be.  You can maybe have a very small business that operates under the health department radar, but if you attain any size, you'll need to either set up a commercial kitchen or declare your home kitchen a commercial kitchen.  It will need to pass periodic health inspections just as any other restaurant/commercial food producer would.  It ain't cheap!

I have a friend who made cakes for friends/family.  She didn't go beyond that because she would have to rent a space to bake her cakes because even though her house is clean, she would't pass a commercial kitchen inspection because her kitchen was so small and cluttered.  She made more money by keeping it to family and friends than if she were to become a business.

 

[louisa05]

51 minutes ago, CelticGoddess said:

I have a friend who made cakes for friends/family.  She didn't go beyond that because she would have to rent a space to bake her cakes because even though her house is clean, she would't pass a commercial kitchen inspection because her kitchen was so small and cluttered.  She made more money by keeping it to family and friends than if she were to become a business.

 

Meh, my sister-in-law does this crap in a business complete with totally public marketing and doesn't get in trouble. She probably could sell as much as she wants without following legal requirements. 

Please be aware, I'm not condoning this. I'm just saying, no one is in any hurry to enforce those regulations. I'd love for my idiot sister-in-law to get busted for something. But she's been at it for nearly two decades with no consequences. 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

1 hour ago, louisa05 said:

Please be aware, I'm not condoning this. I'm just saying, no one is in any hurry to enforce those regulations.

I think it can depend where you are and how ethical the person selling food is. The people I mentioned who make salsa orginally stood outside a grocery store selling their home canned salsa. The local police came by and gave them a warning.

Being ethical people who were just very naïve, they took the warning to heart and learned all the rules and regulations, and now follow said rules. Someone who wants to flout the regulations probably can get away with it here too, if they're as unprincipled as your sister-in-law. 

[polecat]

4 hours ago, quiversR4hunting said:

@smittykins no thongs. Lots of runners, walkers (young and old) and beach yoga!!! Yoga was men and women. 

omg, are those yoga pants?!?!? 

I feel so defrauded.

[Hane]

@PennySycamore, so true. The expense of local regulations and insurance requirements were what kept my uncle and his friend from opening a catering business after they retired. 

I live two doors down from a restaurant whose basement level used to be a commercial bakery, and sometimes wonder if I could rent baking space there to make a few bucks after I retire. (Fun fact: my paternal grandmother built the building in 1950 after she was widowed and opened a grocery store there, with a huge upstairs apartment for herself and the five of her eight kids who were still at home. My dad and his uncle ran the store for her after we moved from NYC to Connecticut. In the ‘80s, my daughter and I lived in the apartment for a few years.)