Tales From the Fainting Couch

[EowynW]

1 hour ago, 3splenty said:

My hubby has also has back issues and a physically demanding job.  He also goes to a massage therapist and she does the cupping technique.  He's had great relief with that, as well.

I really want to get him into a massage therapist. We just can't afford it right now.  

[ElToro]

3 hours ago, 3splenty said:

It sucks when you get treated like a less-than because you're female.

'Funny' story. I went to see a (male, pale, stale) gastro-doc for pain in my gullet. In the course of the consultation, he asked what Mr Toro did for a living. I was: "????" and he claimed he was " just making conversation...." He then went on to claim I was stressed because Mr Toro had such a demanding job he was away a lot. Me: "Erm. No. He works from home and we share all chores. I just have pain".

Turns out I had a hiatus hernia. When my GP received the letter from the gastro-doc, it read "I saw El Toro in my surgery last week. Her husband is a bobbin-winder* from Acme Conglomerates"*  

*Not actual position or employer, but you get the idea. In a letter to my doctor, about my diagnosis, he thought it was perfectly fine to refer to my husband, his profession and his employer. So weird!

[Lisafer]

@ElToro Not a doctor story, but an older male cashier at Target decided to harass me about my refusal to sign up for a RedCard. After I said "no" twice, he snippily asked, "Where's your husband?" as if I was a stupid woman for turning down free money. 

I looked him in the eye and said, as deadpan as I could: "I killed him and buried him in the backyard."

That shut him up. 

[clueliss]

Back on page 1 someone mentioned gastroparesis.  Because it is that time of year - this automatically takes me back to last year's Big Brother (US) and Raven who reminded everyone, all the time (yes I watch feeds) about her disease and other mystery ailments.  

[Mrs. Bean]

3 hours ago, keen23 said:

I see the mystery illnesses that doctors can't diagnose in Moms Groups too. As kids start to get older, all of a sudden these women have neurological and physical ailments that make them take to their bed/post all the time in private Facebook groups (which, yes, I'm part of some of them). It becomes a whole subset of who is sickest and who has the most interesting symptoms.

Oh yes, this! They post the whole lists of medications they are on and becomes like a competition of sorts. WTH? 

[Hane]

A bit OT:  There was a mom with two young girls at my UU church. She works as a doula and teaches women’s studies courses at a couple of local colleges, and is pretty darn crunchy. In the time I knew her at the church, her crunchiness grew exponentially: from vegetarian to vegan to gluten-free and nightshade-free and nut-free and sugar-free and soy-free and stonefruit-free.  Apparently one of her kids has some kind of allergy or joint/muscle discomfort, and she’s convinced this kind of restrictive diet will help somehow. At a vegan potluck we had, she let each of these (tiny, low body fat) girls have a (depressing) cookie, and told them that because of it they could have no sweets the next day.  I have never in my life wanted so much to scoop children up and take them to Dairy Queen.

Eventually, she left our church not because of our beliefs but because post-service coffee hour wasn’t vegan enough for her—even though we always have fresh fruits and vegetables on the table. And apparently she didn’t like the fact that the Sunday School kids sometimes were offered candy on holidays like Halloween and Easter.

(Back in May, I attended a Cinco de Mayo luncheon there which was a glorious explosion of wrongheaded cultural appropriation:  it turned out to be not only vegan but salt- and oil-free. The gal who organized it started going on and on about how great it was for [non] issues like “inflammation” and “leaky gut.” Boy howdy, you haven’t lived till you’ve had oil-free, unsalted, unseasoned tortilla chips.  I prayed that the ghosts of the  1862 Mexican Army would arise in righteous indignation and dish us up something worth eating. Failing that, I left the gathering for dessert at Dunkin’ Donuts.)

[dripcurl]

There is so much I could say about this, I see it first all of the time. Inflammation in the body and depression are very much intertwined. I remember at the Christian Heritage conference in Washington about 5 years ago seeing a girl (based on her skin/tissue appearance definitely looked somewhat unhealthy) literally faint while sitting down during the Botkinette’s panel. Her sisters rushed to her side, she woke up but continued to lay there and they all stayed for the remainder of the panel.

[Lisafer]

@Hane I'm laughing about the oil-free no-salt tortilla chips, and at the same time feeling sad for the poor vegan children who only got a pitiful cookie at church. 

I understand some people eat a certain way for health or ethical reasons, and that's fine of course, but for myself I have found that any attempt to eat less gluten/carbs/meat/whatever rapidly spirals into unhealthy food control. I tend to be on the skinny side, though, so at this point eating whatever I want works out ok! 

But yeah, Mexican food with no salt? No oil? Blasphemy! And Ew! 

[purjolok84]

I don’t know exactly what caused my ishoos (anxiety, self-esteem problems, nothing really major, and exacerbated somewhat by ASD) but I do know it’s nothing to do with gluten or Lyme disease or whatever.
It could just be a bizarre fad. They may also not want to admit to having a mental illness; despite the increased awareness nowadays and people sharing blogs about their MH experiences/journeys, there is still a taboo around MH. With fundies, it’s also to do with the fact that they must be super cheerful 24/7 and any depressive episodes must be dealt with through prayer. “Physical” illnesses are more acceptable; prayer is still key but it’s more normal to take something for a physical problem (even something dodgy like Plexus).

I would say that's pretty much it. I've been trying to adopt the concepts of honesty and openness concerning my own conditions to the point where I share on social media, because I want people to have a better understanding, and also see that underneath the meds, stimming, anxiety, occasional meltdowns and blank face with varying levels of eye contact, there's a person there.

But that doesn't mean that I don't still experience some dread and anxiety when personal topics come up, or that I don't feel like the most worthless person alive ever when it seems like I've shared too much and I'm left guessing.

Women in fundamental, evangelical communities feel this way, and have the same access to SM that I do (unless there's some kind of abuse at play) but because of how they've been brought up, they may actually see what I'm doing and others are doing as giving in to sin. That's not an option for them. But Lyme Disease or Fibromyalgia isn't the same thing. It's as if they're setting themselves up for failure.

[Soulhuntress]

Because an illness is ok but mental health issues are not?  

[elsiedindin]

6 hours ago, Hane said:

from vegetarian to vegan to gluten-free and nightshade-free and nut-free and sugar-free and soy-free and stonefruit-free

One wonders how the human race has survived so long with all these terrible food intolerances.

I hate all the orthorexia-style pseudoscientific bullshit. Yes, definitely some people can't digest certain foods (lactose, gluten) and some people are born with metabolic disorders requiring incredibly restrictive diets (PKU for instance). Some people have (medically diagnosed) food allergies and have to avoid triggers. You have to do what keeps you alive! But why why why would you cut out all sorts of healthy foods for bullshit reasons like "hey deadly nightshade is deadly, so anything related to it must also be deadly!" Did the woman in question eat carrots? Wild carrot is very closely related to cultivated carrot varieties, except for the minor detail that it's poisonous. Anyway plant taxonomy is not even close to infallible so definitions of families (like which plants belong in the nightshade family) can change overnight. Secondly any plant can probably kill you if you eat enough of it! 

You want to quit eating certain types of food? You do you, but I don't want to hear about it. I'm not interested in your symptoms and I definitely don't want to know anything about your poo. Don't post lists of perfectly fine foods that are actually super bad for special little you. Don't tell me how my doughnut is going to give me a yeast infection in my brain (I WISH I was kidding). Seriously don't come to a party I host and then complain that I haven't included options for your latest bizarre eating plan you got on the internet. And if you should decide to do all those things, please don't expend too much effort wondering why no one ever wants to go to lunch with you.

[purjolok84]

But@elsiedindin, don't you KNOW that sugar is now just the baddest thing ever and gave everyone terminal diseases and was capable of killing off the cavemen??? How could you even think of touching that doughnut, let alone eating it? That's why we all say no to sugar, like the doc-sorry, socialites and celebrity chefs who get paid to spruik expensive vitamins and bone broth do, as they all did as of long, long ago.

Oh wait. They didn't. Back long ago fat was bad for us and it was low-fat, high-sugar (which gets hidden but can be read on the information panel) products that were being sold as the fat-busting cure and a way to fat-shame and scare everyone.

Personally I'm inclined to think that in general, the body needs more fat and protein over sugar, but everybody has different needs. For example if I want sugar I cope with it better in the morning, and I prefer whole foods to a product where I can't identify half of the ingredients (and not for lack of trying!)

Your friend's a bit weird with the sugar thing though - has she made other claims like that?

[elsiedindin]

"Friend" is maybe a generous term at this point. Some people's control issues manifest in weird ways. A doughnut is apparently worse than just sugar because it's got flour and yeast as well. She thinks the sugar and flour will feed the yeast and give you a yeast infection (aka thrush). OMG the stupid. There are over a thousand different fungal species classified as "yeasts" and the one we use to make bread and beer etc is not remotely like Candida albicans which causes infections. She has some theory about the yeast multiplying and getting to your brain and causing depression/anxiety. I figure if you have a fungal infection in your brain you might need a ventilator before you need a Prozac, but probably I'm just in league with Big Medicine. The things people will believe!

[smittykins]

Unless, of course, it's aspartame, in which case you might just as well drink straight rat poison(says she who will give up her Diet Pepsi when they pry it from her cold dead hands ).

[Terrie]

1 hour ago, smittykins said:

Unless, of course, it's aspartame, in which case you might just as well drink straight rat poison

Personally, I find that aspartame tastes like licking the inside of an aspirin bottle. Who cares if it's bad for you or not? It tastes like chemicals.

[Lisafer]

@elsiedindin man, doughnuts sound good now! Yeast infection in the brain? I'll take my chances! 

[CelticGoddess]

21 hours ago, pandorasjen said:

I homeschool my kids and I'm in a bunch of homeschool groups on Facebook. I see this A LOT! Also, no one ever just goes to the doctor. They all just play 'what's this rash' all day and get told to put oils on everything.

And one day, one of the offspring is going to have an allergic reaction to said oils and they'll be told: use this oil, instead of Call 911.  Yesterday!  When said child turns purple, the parent/guardian will wonder what happened but not associate the oils with the problem.  I fear for this country, I really do!

2 hours ago, smittykins said:

Unless, of course, it's aspartame, in which case you might just as well drink straight rat poison(says she who will give up her Diet Pepsi when they pry it from her cold dead hands ).

I won't give up my diet pepsi either.  But I am so pissed they change the formula, again.  I started drink Pepsi One (with splenda) not long after it came out, then they made all their diet drinks made with splenda.  Suddenly, it's back to aspartame.  Oh well.

8 hours ago, elsiedindin said:

"Friend" is maybe a generous term at this point. Some people's control issues manifest in weird ways. A doughnut is apparently worse than just sugar because it's got flour and yeast as well. She thinks the sugar and flour will feed the yeast and give you a yeast infection (aka thrush). OMG the stupid. There are over a thousand different fungal species classified as "yeasts" and the one we use to make bread and beer etc is not remotely like Candida albicans which causes infections. She has some theory about the yeast multiplying and getting to your brain and causing depression/anxiety. I figure if you have a fungal infection in your brain you might need a ventilator before you need a Prozac, but probably I'm just in league with Big Medicine. The things people will believe!

God if it were that simple.  I was in hospital in early June and developed thrush (throat/mouth).  As I was on a consistent carb diet (and  I didn't eat my bread) I am going to blame the high doses of steroids I was on.  It's funny how steroids and antibiotics can cause the overgrowth of yeast (which is normal flora, just bad when it gets out of control). 

If someone has a yeast infection in their braine, I think they have a lot worse to worry about than depression/anxiety.  Yeast in the brain is not a good thing.

I'm in league with big pharma also:  I take Trintellix, Ativan as need (for breathing problems) and a whole host of other meds.  I like big medicine.  It's kept me alive all these years!

 

[louisa05]

My sister-in-law was on a sugar is evil kick for awhile. She claimed her toy boy was addicted to it and that sugar is exactly the same as heroin or cocaine. My mother-in-law got mad at me when I told her that sugar is not like heroin at all. 

During that particular food fad, SiL made a cinnamon chiffon cake for a family holiday but substituted flour for the sugar. You can guess how that turned out. 

Sister-in-law changes food obsessions and dietary restrictions so fast that we never know what she will or will not eat. Years ago, Mr. 05 invited her on Saturday to come grill steaks with us on Labor Day (a Monday). She was fine with it when he invited her. By the time she arrived Monday, she was a vegetarian who only ate local food produced within a 50 mile radius of her home so she refused to eat anything and lectured us about how we were going to die from eating meat the whole time. She briefly considered eating some vegetables raised by my parents but figured out they were just a bit too far from her and decided against it. Not coincidentally, that is the last time we have ever invited her for a meal. 

[melon]

23 hours ago, EowynW said:

Mr EW works on concrete all day 5-6 days a week. Chiro visits and good shoes are the only things that keep him going. There are woo chiros out there but I wouldn't label them all as woo people. 

I can sympathize.I used to work on a concrete floor for 8-10 hours a day 5-6 days a week,it makes your back hurt.

About two years ago, I had to have a spinal fusion.It was likely that I had permanent nerve damage.I am still able to do everything,except lift heavy objects,I just do not have the strength in my right arm.My spine specialist released me,last year,with restrictions,I can't lift anything over my head or above a certain weight.

Under federal law,because I was out of work for so long,at 6 months,my employer terminated me.

My doctor says I can work,but I feel like no one wants to hire me,because they consider me a liability.I am looking,and thru a temp service,there was one job,and it was 10 hours a day..6 days a week,on a concrete floor....I asked Mr Melon about it..because I am soon to be 58,haven't worked in nearly,2 years...I don't know how I'd handle 10 hour days..6 days a week.If it was absolutely a necessity,I would.He said just keep looking.

I have a group I belong to..they talk about essential oils..and promote them.One woman,her husband is a chiropractor.One of the other women I know ,took her newborn for an adjustment..I had never heard of that.

I don't know if this is true  for everyone,I have thought about having an adjustment.I have neck and shoulder pain,but I read ,somewhere,that for the first..3 months after adjustments..the pain can be worse.I don't know,I don't have insurance or the money ,it was just a thought.

t

[EowynW]

I think our food has changed somewhat. Sugar & high fructose corn syrup are in most things these days. It's frustrating reading the labels when I shop. While I don't necessarily believe sugar is evil, I do believe we consume too much of it today. Our wheat is also a bit different. The standard American diet is pretty high inflammation. 

 

 

 

 

[Hane]

@elsiedindin, I have run into some reasonable documentation indicating that nightshade plants like tomatoes, peppers, and eggplants cause some people flare-ups of discomfort (a science-teacher friend told me that they bother some people who have polycystic ovary syndrome, like her daughter).  But, IMO, that’s no reason to have to make a whole gigantic separate pot of nightshade-free (and flavor-free) soup that gets accidentally served to unsuspecting people like me.

For the record, I had tons of allergies as a kid: tomatoes, coffee, ragweed, house dust, tobacco, dog dander—something that was relatively uncommon back in the ‘50s. I’ve pretty much outgrown them all except for the tobacco one. So it’s not as if I’m unsympathetic. 

I’m also all for healthy eating—I’m a big fan of fruit and veggies and whole grains—but I find orthorexia incredibly depressing. (I also hate the misleading term “clean eating.”)

[CelticGoddess]

33 minutes ago, EowynW said:

I think our food has changed somewhat. Sugar & high fructose corn syrup are in most things these days. It's frustrating reading the labels when I shop. While I don't necessarily believe sugar is evil, I do believe we consume too much of it today. Our wheat is also a bit different. The standard American diet is pretty high inflammation. 

 

 

 

 

I can't remember what exactly I was watching but it was a documentary about Tudor England.  It was during Henry VIII (I think)that sugar became more common in England.  And that is when all the problems with bad teeth, obesity, and other health problems really started to arise.  Of course, it was becuase they were eating sugar coated in sugar with a dusting of sugar all the time!  Sugar is not bad per se, but the overconsumption of sugar is definitely bad.  And don't get me started on hfcs.  

The standard American diet is not a good diet.  we over indulge.  That is the biggest problem.  Over indulgence.

[EowynW]

31 minutes ago, CelticGoddess said:

I can't remember what exactly I was watching but it was a documentary about Tudor England.  It was during Henry VIII (I think)that sugar became more common in England.  And that is when all the problems with bad teeth, obesity, and other health problems really started to arise.  Of course, it was becuase they were eating sugar coated in sugar with a dusting of sugar all the time!  Sugar is not bad per se, but the overconsumption of sugar is definitely bad.  And don't get me started on hfcs.  

The standard American diet is not a good diet.  we over indulge.  That is the biggest problem.  Over indulgence.

It's really sobering to see some fairly easily preventable issues skyrocketing in this country. 

[ViolaSebastian]

I also think that some of these perhaps psychosomatic (but by no means "fake") maladies and their accompanying dietary changes offer stay-at-home-daughters, who have very little control over their daily lives, some semblance of having the power to make their own decisions. Consciously or not, an illness gives them an excuse to not attend certain functions, a godly reason not to engage in certain activities, the ability to dictate what foods appear in the family meals, and a good dose of being the center of attention that perhaps they aren't getting as a redundant older female in an overcrowded home. Ideally, these young women would have a life that gave them the freedom and locus of control to do these things without an excuse, but sadly they don't. The mind finds a way to provide what it desperately needs.

[GenerationCedarchip]

On 6/26/2018 at 2:30 PM, Mrs. Bean said:

I always wondered what sort of mysterious disease did/does Lauren Berkompas (Hope) has? I remember she would write how she spent days in bed convalescing, also being ona special diet. Any clues? 

I don't want to share anything that isn't public, but it has been made public in various places that she has migraines and some other joint pain issues. She's been going to doctors for all this as opposed to Dr. Google. It's not self-diagnosed adrenal fatigue, Lyme syndrome, etc....

On the flip side of this, I've encountered 2 people(both from fundier circles than my current one) in the past month who have a self-diagnosed "chronic seizure syndrome" that requires them to stay in and read quietly lest they go into spasms all day. For both of them, I know enough about their situations to wonder if they really need help for depression or anxiety, and it makes me sad that they feel like they can't seek out mental health care.