Tales From the Fainting Couch

[louisa05]

39 minutes ago, TheOneAndOnly said:

I once saw a GLUTEN FREE! label on a bottle of water. My response? I should hope so!

I've seen that, too. Our grocery store (it's a small town, we have one and a WalMart) had gluten free signs all over the store for awhile including the entire produce department. It was just stupid. I feel like someone who is not smart enough to know that oranges are gluten free probably shouldn't be feeding themselves without supervision. Then I remember that my cousin's wife thinks wheat bread is gluten free which confirms that feeling. 

[The Mother Dust]

On 6/25/2018 at 11:03 PM, mango_fandango said:

I don’t know exactly what caused my ishoos (anxiety, self-esteem problems, nothing really major, and exacerbated somewhat by ASD) but I do know it’s nothing to do with gluten or Lyme disease or whatever.

It could just be a bizarre fad. They may also not want to admit to having a mental illness; despite the increased awareness nowadays and people sharing blogs about their MH experiences/journeys, there is still a taboo around MH. With fundies, it’s also to do with the fact that they must be super cheerful 24/7 and any depressive episodes must be dealt with through prayer. “Physical” illnesses are more acceptable; prayer is still key but it’s more normal to take something for a physical problem (even something dodgy like Plexus).

Can someone explain to me what Plexus is?  I've seen it mentioned here and there on fj, but I still don't really understand what it is.  It sounds to me like they eat tupperware.  

[The Mother Dust]

On 6/27/2018 at 2:53 PM, ElToro said:

'Funny' story. I went to see a (male, pale, stale) gastro-doc for pain in my gullet. In the course of the consultation, he asked what Mr Toro did for a living. I was: "????" and he claimed he was " just making conversation...." He then went on to claim I was stressed because Mr Toro had such a demanding job he was away a lot. Me: "Erm. No. He works from home and we share all chores. I just have pain".

Turns out I had a hiatus hernia. When my GP received the letter from the gastro-doc, it read "I saw El Toro in my surgery last week. Her husband is a bobbin-winder* from Acme Conglomerates"*  

*Not actual position or employer, but you get the idea. In a letter to my doctor, about my diagnosis, he thought it was perfectly fine to refer to my husband, his profession and his employer. So weird!

Omg.  A coworker and friend of mine is getting breast cancer surgery soon.  Thankfully the cancer was caught super early and she should be ok.  HOWEVER.  In consultation with the surgeon who will be doing the reconstruction, my friend let him know that she wants a smaller chest than what she currently has.  Can you guys believe he gave her pushback on that???  She's had a few pre-surgery meetings with him, and firmly reiterated what she wanted, and still got pushback every time.  Not an outright "no" exactly, but a bunch of hedging like....."oh, you'll wake up and regret it" and a bunch of semi-incredulous  "are you sure's??"  Her DH was with her in these consultations, and she told me that at one point the surgeon looked pointedly at her husband for his opinion. 

 I am happy to say her DH is on board with her body her choice.  But still.  What if he was like one of these fundie husbands???   Needless to say, I was beside myself.  I'd fought and won my right to get a tubal ligation at a young age some years ago, another battle won against paternalistic medicine, so I was primed and ready to go when she was telling me this.   She and her DH are both more mild mannered than me and I told her I would go with her next time, and I think I scared her a bit, lol.   Anyway, she only told me the story about this pushback just prior to her surgery date, so there are no more pre-meetings to go.  That doc dosen't know how lucky he is.  But, she told me she still dosen't know for sure if she will wake up with the smaller chest she wants or not.  Fuck, I'm getting enraged all over again.  I need a drink.

[mango_fandango]

Plexus is an MLM, health supplement (you’ll see talk of a Pink Drink among others). People like Jill tend to claim it can cure all sorts of stuff. Someone else will be along soon to explain better.

[Hane]

10 hours ago, TheOneAndOnly said:

I once saw a GLUTEN FREE! label on a bottle of water. My response? I should hope so!

This reminds me of an incident in a store back in the ‘80s: The lady in front of me in line had a bag of shelled walnuts in her cart. I mentioned how they were a great buy, being on sale. She pointed to the label and said, “And these have NO CHOLESTEROL!” I told her, “But walnuts never contain cholesterol—it’s an animal fat!” She looked at me as if I had three heads and was a total idiot.

[smittykins]

Obligatory TV Tropes link:

Asbestos-Free Cereal

[FullOfGravy]

10 hours ago, The Mother Dust said:

Can someone explain to me what Plexus is?  I've seen it mentioned here and there on fj, but I still don't really understand what it is.  It sounds to me like they eat tupperware.  

Like @mango_fandango said, it's a multi-level marketing scheme.  They sell probiotics, and many sellers claim that by fixing their "gut health" they can cure just about anything.  They sell weight-loss supplements and drinks packed with caffeine and garcinia cambogia.  They've started selling a skincare line now that promises to fix your skin bacteria the way their probiotics fix your gut bacteria.  They love talking about your microbiome, which Jill Rodrigues hilariously failed to pronounce.  

One of my (non-fundie) former teachers started selling it a couple of years ago.  I eventually hid her from my Facebook timeline, because I'm not her gastroenterologist and don't care to know nearly that much about the state of her digestive tract.

The portal to pink hell

[The Mother Dust]

30 minutes ago, FullOfGravy said:

Like @mango_fandango said, it's a multi-level marketing scheme.  They sell probiotics, and many sellers claim that by fixing their "gut health" they can cure just about anything.  They sell weight-loss supplements and drinks packed with caffeine and garcinia cambogia.  They've started selling a skincare line now that promises to fix your skin bacteria the way their probiotics fix your gut bacteria.  They love talking about your microbiome, which Jill Rodrigues hilariously failed to pronounce.  

One of my (non-fundie) former teachers started selling it a couple of years ago.  I eventually hid her from my Facebook timeline, because I'm not her gastroenterologist and don't care to know nearly that much about the state of her digestive tract.

The portal to pink hell

Ahhh, thank you for this explanation.  So Plexus is a line of products, not a single item. It's the least problematic part, but I was thinking, what a name to give something you are supposed to ingest.  Does not sound yummy at all. 
 Good lord, per site you linked, $153 bucks for 2 ounces of skin cream. !! 

[Terrie]

It does say a lot about our (lack of) consent culture that some people feel obligated to lie and say they have serious health issues to get people to take them seriously when they say "Please no X food item." Like, I hate green peppers. I mean, I loathe them. And there are people out there who would have zero problem lying to me about if green peppers so they can go "Ha! You ate green peppers!" And even claiming deathly allergies doesn't stop some assholes.

[Rachel333]

1 minute ago, Terrie said:

It does say a lot about our (lack of) consent culture that some people feel obligated to lie and say they have serious health issues to get people to take them seriously when they say "Please no X food item." Like, I hate green peppers. I mean, I loathe them. And there are people out there who would have zero problem lying to me about if green peppers so they can go "Ha! You ate green peppers!" And even claiming deathly allergies doesn't stop some assholes.

I agree. I hear stories about people doing things like giving customers ordering coffee full fat milk instead of the skim/soy/whatever that they ordered and in response to those types of stories people often say things like "You shouldn't trick someone into eating something they don't want because they might be deathly allergic." It's absolutely true, but even if it's no more than a preference you still should never give someone something they don't want to eat/drink!

I'm vegetarian/vegan for ethical/emotional reasons. It disturbed me greatly as a child to realize I was eating animals, so I became vegetarian without even really knowing what that meant. (My explanation was that "I don't want to eat things with eyes," which led to years of potato jokes from my family.) I haven't eaten meat since I was 7 and if I ate meat now I would find it profoundly upsetting. There aren't many things I can compare it to and I don't think anyone can really understand how much it would bother me unless they feel the same way. It bothers me that people often act like vegetarianism by choice is less legitimate than avoiding certain meats for religious reasons and I'm horrified by the stories I hear of people who think it's funny to trick vegetarians into eating meat. Again, the arguments against doing that are often "You could make them sick!" and not that it's fucked up to do that to someone, period.

[peggyolson]

Late to this thread, but I find this topic so interesting because I have a fundie, QF, homeschooled and homeschooling cousin who claims to have lyme and that many of her kids do too, but doctors can't seem to ever detect it. She also has a million dietary restrictions and cooks frankenfoods to accomodate everything. I always assumed she was a hypochondriac but maybe it's part of the larger fundie culture?

[AuntKrazy]

Mr. Krazy's best friend is allergic to tree nuts.  When we went on a reunion vacation at a cabin in Tennessee last year with his and two other families, I thought I had avoided any nuts in the menu.  I even baked homemade cookies and brought them with us, etc.  

But at the beginning of the week, I made a pesto pasta salad.  I had bought the pesto because we were travelling (normally I make a nut-free version from fresh basil at home) - and did not even think about the pine nuts until I saw him with a plate saying "this smells really good".  I physically GRABBED his plate out of his hand just before he took a bite.  We then fished the jar out and read the ingredients.  Sure enough, there were pine nuts in it.  

I agree though that the lack of consent aspect and feeding people things they have expressly said they do not wish to have is troubling.  

On the Diet Pepsi/Splenda front - I try to avoid Splenda - it actually messes with my blood sugar levels as much as regular sugar. I've read that some other diabetics have the same issues I do with it.  But I rarely talk about it.  I mean, it's just my own issue.

Underlying some of this discussion, I think, is a weird spiritualization of health.  (like Lori Alexander does with her $14 organic butter).  It's like Peter's vision after Pentecost of dietary restrictions being ended never happened, but just were replaced with you may only eat "non-vaccinated, non-GMO, Organic, grass-fed, clean, heirloom unprocessed __________", or it is a moral failure.

[FilleMondaine]

On 6/26/2018 at 6:49 PM, wild little fox said:

Tl;dr I think these symptoms are a manifestation of the abuses this forum was created to shine a light on. 

I have that feeling, too. In fact, the World Health Organization just accepted "Complex PTSD" which helps explain the physical symptoms (The Guardian has a good and accessibly case study and explanation) Van der Kolk's book "The Body Keeps Score" talks more about somatic responses to mental stress.

Anecdotally, I've got dr-diagnosed-celiac (and a trauma history). Friend has dr-diagnosed-fibromyalgia (and a trauma history)

I guess I just wanted to express sympathy and hugs with everyone who has disclosed their physical and emotional pain on this board. And also to highlight the correlation of trauma and inflammation. Finally, to talk about how empty these stay-at-home-moms/daughters' lives must be to conflate these illnesses. I truly feel for them (well, except the ones who put their kids at risk)

[ElToro]

14 hours ago, The Mother Dust said:

she told me she still dosen't know for sure if she will wake up with the smaller chest she wants or not.  Fuck, I'm getting enraged all over again.  I need a drink.

I have a friend who had cancer and a full double mastectomy at 27. When she asked for implants to replace the lost breasts she was told "Sorry- no-one makes them THAT small"!! So she had to go bigger, but at least can laugh about it now. But then she didn't have a doctor attempt to collude with/coerce a partner in order to give her big tits. WT actual F!

@FilleMondaine thanks for the book info. It's fascinating stuff that I want to learn more about. (As the daughter of someone who suffered from trauma throughout their childhood, I'm aware of how the effects can sometimes continue down the generations)

[Terrie]

Lying about food is just universally bad. I just remembered when I was trying to learn more vegetarian cooking, because my SiL is vegetarian as are the kids, finding a cookbook that recommended looking at meat eaters as "blocked vegetarians" and tricking them into eating vegetarian food so you can prove to them how tasty food can be without meat. That's not okay. What people put in their mouth is their own business, and they have the right to know what they are putting in their mouth. 

And after thinking about it, I would include the practice used by some parents of sneaking things into other foods. That just strikes me as a way to undermine your kids' trust in you.

[The Mother Dust]

43 minutes ago, ElToro said:

I have a friend who had cancer and a full double mastectomy at 27. When she asked for implants to replace the lost breasts she was told "Sorry- no-one makes them THAT small"!! So she had to go bigger, but at least can laugh about it now. But then she didn't have a doctor attempt to collude with/coerce a partner in order to give her big tits. WT actual F!

 

I'm sorry to hear your friend had cancer at such a young age.  I hope she is healthy now.   My friend is in her early 40s.  Hers was caught when she had her 1st mammogram.  I am a couple years away from the age when a 1st mammogram is recommended, and I must admit, I was kind of dreading it, and sort of idly thinking of putting it off.  Needless to say, I definitely won't now. 
Regarding the implants, I'm sure my friend and I would have been alot less annoyed by all this if they simply didn't make the size she wanted.  The condescension factor would have been taken out.  But I don't think thats the case with her situation, unfortunately.   The killer thing is, this isn't some podunk hospital in some country town.  You guys would definitely recognize the hospital name.    Thats kind of whats additionally disheartening about it.  I would have expected better of them.  Ugh.  Anyway, thanks all for letting me rant.

[louisa05]

6 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

I agree. I hear stories about people doing things like giving customers ordering coffee full fat milk instead of the skim/soy/whatever that they ordered and in response to those types of stories people often say things like "You shouldn't trick someone into eating something they don't want because they might be deathly allergic." It's absolutely true, but even if it's no more than a preference you still should never give someone something they don't want to eat/drink!

I'm vegetarian/vegan for ethical/emotional reasons. It disturbed me greatly as a child to realize I was eating animals, so I became vegetarian without even really knowing what that meant. (My explanation was that "I don't want to eat things with eyes," which led to years of potato jokes from my family.) I haven't eaten meat since I was 7 and if I ate meat now I would find it profoundly upsetting. There aren't many things I can compare it to and I don't think anyone can really understand how much it would bother me unless they feel the same way. It bothers me that people often act like vegetarianism by choice is less legitimate than avoiding certain meats for religious reasons and I'm horrified by the stories I hear of people who think it's funny to trick vegetarians into eating meat. Again, the arguments against doing that are often "You could make them sick!" and not that it's fucked up to do that to someone, period.

My shitty sister-in-law use to do that stuff to customers when she owned a coffeehouse. She would brag about it, too. I always thought it was terrible and never knew what to say. I hadn't thought about that for awhile. I'm sure she'd be giving me caffeine now if she still had the place. 

I have GERD and chronic gastritis. Caffeine, highly processed meats, really greasy stuff and deep fried foods are huge triggers for me and I avoid them as much as possible. (I cheat for egg rolls or crab rangoon sometimes and cheat with the caffeine more than I should. The meats are not an issue--lean turkey lunchmeat is okay and I don't like stuff like bacon and ham that much anyway). So, knowing this, sister-in-law showed up for a holiday last year with salad and dressing made of hot bacon grease. A scene ensued when I asked if there was a bottle of any other salad dressing in the refrigerator. 

I don't usually say a word to anyone about the foods I have to avoid. I just don't eat them. But my in-laws do their damndest to make it difficult--coolers with nothing but soda with caffeine (and beer which I don't like and also kills my stomach) at outdoor events , serving deli fried chicken for everything, asking us to go eat with them at some restaurant/food truck by the river which serves nothing but fried chicken and fried fish...

[FilleMondaine]

6 hours ago, FilleMondaine said:

I have that feeling, too. In fact, the World Health Organization just accepted "Complex PTSD" which helps explain the physical symptoms (The Guardian has a good and accessibly case study and explanation) Van der Kolk's book "The Body Keeps Score" talks more about somatic responses to mental stress.

Link to the book: The body keeps the score

1 hour ago, louisa05 said:

My shitty sister-in-law use to do that stuff to customers when she owned a coffeehouse. She would brag about it, too. I always thought it was terrible and never knew what to say. I hadn't thought about that for awhile. I'm sure she'd be giving me caffeine now if she still had the place. 

This makes me so mad. I have a friend who gets very very ill with milk. I get very very ill when there is cross-contamination (shared fryers). Just be kind, man.

Going to people's houses is always weird. I usually call the host, ask how I can be a celiac-teammate (bring food? Give a thumbs up for a flourless chocolate cake they always wanted to try anyway?) For my friend's upcoming birthday, I offered to bring my own cupcake and wine. She accepted. GF food, by the way, ,can be expensive, so it's super important to be aware of costs to my hosts, too.

BTW, I throw the best Thanksgiving. All my food-issue friends and family come to my house knowing that they have full access to ingredients with labels about what to eat. I am so thankful to have such wonderful friends and family, and I hope I show them so.

[louisa05]

14 hours ago, FilleMondaine said:

 

This makes me so mad. I have a friend who gets very very ill with milk. I get very very ill when there is cross-contamination (shared fryers). Just be kind, man.

 

She would give whole milk to people who ordered skim because of calories if she didn't personally think they needed to lose weight. I wanted to tell her that lattes and mochas have a ton of calories and she doesn't know what else the person is eating that day. I often order skim milk in mine and I'm 5'7" and have never been bigger than a size 8. But those things are calorie bombs. 

Or she would give regular milk to people who said they just don't like it and ordered almond or soy because "you can't tell the difference in a latte" and apparently she thought it was her job to prove that to them. 

And sometimes, she would just refuse to buy soy or almond milk because it cost more then give people who ordered it skim milk without telling them. That's where I'm sure some people who were lactose intolerant or something got sick and never came back. 

[dharmapunk]

I hate it when people expect me to explain why I don't eat meat. I just don't see how the reason makes any difference. In my case it is for ethical/ religious reasons (I'm a Buddhist) but sometimes I just want to have some food without having to discuss my religious views with anybody who happens to be there.

[louisa05]

14 minutes ago, dharmapunk said:

I hate it when people expect me to explain why I don't eat meat. I just don't see how the reason makes any difference. In my case it is for ethical/ religious reasons (I'm a Buddhist) but sometimes I just want to have some food without having to discuss my religious views with anybody who happens to be there.

I don't know how we've lost the ability to allow people to politely decline food. I politely decline stuff that is going to make my stomach sick. I don't feel that everyone wants or needs to know the state of my digestive system or exactly what the trigger foods are. But some people cannot just accept "no, thank you" when they serve food. My in-laws can't. We're going there tomorrow and there will be some nasty grilled meat that will bother me. On top of that, some recent medical errors inflicted on me have left me with zero appetite. So I will eat a tiny bit of their grilled meat, a bit of the side dishes and be done. And there will be endless nagging at me about why I'm not eating it all. At some point, I will decline coffee or tea because it is never decaf and be nagged about that. And on and on and on. 

When we were growing up, my aunt's alcoholic husband would watch what all the kids had on their plates and yell at us for being picky and rude in regard to any dish that any of us didn't take. Aside from his kids, we had all been taught to take only what we would eat and to not complain about food we didn't like--just to not take any. Then he would start all of that. Even at 7 or 8 years old, I had figured out that we were not the ones being rude. 

[Walking Cat Bed]

I'm lucky enough not to have SEVERE food sensitivities or allergies, but I do have things/prep methods I'm less fond of. I make chili with ground turkey rather than beef, for example; if I have a guest over, I mention that said chili is made with turkey. (It's a few dollars less expensive, which is my usual motivation.) And I'm not fond of runny yolks in eggs, so I tend to ask for scrambled or I don't have eggs. I can usually find something at any restaurant or event, so I'm pretty lucky. 

However, I have long-time friends who have variations of celiac or similar conditions. One would only join group meals at certain restaurants, and would take out her bottled water and packaged applesauce (and leave the average meal cost as her contribution to the group's tip). But she knew the managers well enough to do this (they were relatives or decades-long family friends), and wouldn't bring a full meal or ask for anything for free. (She has a combination of gluten, dairy, and tree nut allergies that make restaurant kitchens her nightmare, and she has been vegetarian for years to manage other sensitivities.) 

And while having more gluten-free options has been helpful, she still can't do most packaged foods. Certain brands have a lower risk of contamination, but she usually has to buy fresh and go to specific stores for things. 

In contrast, I've been to house parties hosted by a friend who's a vegan chef, and her food is amazing. Lots of sautees and stir fry and salads, amazing baked goods. She's made a stir-fry with tofu bits that tasted (and had a texture) like chicken. 

[Hane]

I often want to share my own personal Public Service Announcement with people when dessert is served:  There’s no need to go on and on about how “fattening” and “sinful” and how “full of carbs” it is, and how you “really shouldn’t.” There are two appropriate responses:  “Yes, thank you” and “No, thank you.”

[Marian the Librarian]

9 minutes ago, Hane said:

I often want to share my own personal Public Service Announcement with people when dessert is served:  There’s no need to go on and on about how “fattening” and “sinful” and how “full of carbs” it is, and how you “really shouldn’t.” There are two appropriate responses:  “Yes, thank you” and “No, thank you.”

Brava. And if the meddlers persist, I think a straightforward "Stop trying to manage my food!" would be in order.

[Walking Cat Bed]

1 hour ago, Hane said:

I often want to share my own personal Public Service Announcement with people when dessert is served:  There’s no need to go on and on about how “fattening” and “sinful” and how “full of carbs” it is, and how you “really shouldn’t.” There are two appropriate responses:  “Yes, thank you” and “No, thank you.”

I like to respond to the tutting with "oh, that's the point!". With a just-short-of-obnoxious cheeriness.